*Isabella's POV*
The silence that followed my declaration was a physical weight, crushing the air out of my lungs. Their faces, both of them, were pale masks of shock. For once, they were united, not in brotherly rivalry, but in their utter, devastating disbelief at my words. My heart was a fucking mess of shattered pieces in my chest, but I had to see this through. I had to make them understand.
"As much as you make me happy separately," I began, my voice trembling but firm, cutting through the stunned silence, "you make me miserable when we're all here together." I looked from one to the other, my gaze unwavering. "And even if you both wanted to hide it from me, I know... I know just how powerful that fucking connection is when you're apart. And it's hurting you. I can't do that to either of you."
I took a deep, shuddering breath, the scent of the expensive restaurant food suddenly turning my stomach. "You get drunk and pass out just to escape the things you feel," I said, my eyes locking onto Damien's. "Tell me I'm wrong, hmm? Tell me, Damien. Why did you drink that twenty-thousand-dollar whiskey when I was at Jacob's party?"
He flinched as if I'd struck him, the shame washing over his face so clearly it was almost painful to watch. He couldn't meet my eyes. He looked down at his plate, his jaw tight.
I didn't wait for an answer. I turned my fury, my hurt, onto Jacob. "What do you do when I'm with Damien? Do you get drunk as well?" I asked, my voice dripping with a sarcasm I didn't try to hide.
"I get high," he said, his voice quiet, barely a whisper. He met my gaze head-on, his own filled with a raw, defensive honesty.
"What!" I exclaimed, though a part of me wasn't even surprised.
"I promise, it's just some weed to calm myself," Jacob said quickly, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender.
"See?" I said, my voice rising with a mix of frustration and despair. I looked between them, at their two perfect, broken faces. "You're both jealous and mad. I don't think you can handle a polyandrous relationship. Not until you learn to keep your jealousy in check. It's not healthy, it's not normal. I can't be with either of you." I said, the final words a quiet, devastating sentence that sealed all our fates.
"I'll go pack my stuff and move to the apartment downtown," I said, my voice a hollow, stiff thing. I was reciting a plan, a lifeline I'd constructed for myself on that plane ride back to Raleigh. "I'll request a position as a junior accountant, I want to change floors at work immediately. When I'm done with school, I'll..." I was saying, trying to sound decisive, like I had it all figured out, when Damien chimed in, his voice laced with a frustration that was so thick it was almost suffocating.
"You have it all figured out, don't you?" he asked, his tone sharp. "How long have you been thinking about this?"
"Damien, please," I said, my voice cracking. I couldn't look at him. If I looked at him, I'd fall apart. "It doesn't matter."
"You can't leave," he said, his voice raw, a desperate plea that cut right through my carefully constructed armour. "I told you, I'm nothing without you."
"You're a lot of things, Damien," I said, my voice gaining a sliver of strength as I finally met his gaze. "You're a hot-shot CEO, you're your father's son, you're Jacob's brother. You can't put it all on me." I was pushing him away, listing his accomplishments, his identity, trying to make him see that he was whole without me.
"You're my partner," he said, his voice breaking on the last word. "I don't want any other assistant. I can't, Isabella. Please." He was pleading, his eyes begging, and it was fucking breaking my heart.
My eyes flicked to Jacob, who hadn't said a single word since I'd laid my soul bare on the table between us. He was just staring into his glass of water, looking defeated. Like a kid who didn't get the toy he wanted for Christmas, and now he was just puffing his cheeks out and pouting, lost in his own miserable little world. And seeing him like that, seeing them both so broken because of me... it almost made me take it all back. Almost.
Actually, Damien turned out to be a big surprise. Out of the two of them, I'd have fucking sworn Jacob would be the one to beg. I thought Damien was too proud, too controlled to ever break like that, especially not in front of his biggest competition, his twin brother. But surprisingly, he did. He was reckless like that, laying his soul bare. And now, I'm starting to understand that maybe I read them wrong this whole time.
Damien had this unemotional mask on his face most of the time, but he was the one who had sex with me over and over again with the door of his fucking office unlocked. He was the one who begged me not to leave him tonight. The mask was a lie.
And Jacob... Jacob was the proud one. The one who clenched his jaw and swallowed all of his words. When I thought he would just let me leave without a fight, he started too.
"Don't put that cold-hearted mask on with me," Jacob said, his voice quiet but firm, cutting through my own frantic thoughts. "I know how much you care for us. You always pose as the ice queen, you call yourself selfish, but you showed me in New York that you can love unconditionally."
"What, I did not," I countered, my automatic defence mechanism kicking in.
"Then what was that, huh? The way you looked after me?" he pressed.
"That's what girlfriends are supposed to do," I said, trying to sound dismissive, to belittle the profound connection we'd made.
"Since when do you care about what people expect you to do?" he shot back, and fuck, he had me there. He knew me too well. "I know you, Isabella," he said, and the way he said my name, not 'sweetheart' or some other pet name, made me freeze. "That's the person you pose as, you want people to think that you're a cold-hearted bitch, it's easier, more comfortable for you if they think so. You want to seem cool and collected while dumping us, but I know that you're trembling and shivering on the inside, your knees are wobbling." He paused, letting his words sink in, each one a perfectly aimed dart. "And I know why."