"Thank you for staying behind Luke." Mrs Alba smiled at me, putting things together in the kitchen. The smile put me at ease, perhaps the conversation would not be as berating as I imagined.
"It is no problem at all Mrs Alba. I don't mind a little overtime." She beckoned me closer. We stood beside each other staring at the blank sheet of paper she put down. We stood in silence for a while, I appreciated the tasteful whiteness and uncreased quality of the paper.
"Luke I've been thinking. You are one of the best employees I've ever had. The most efficient, obedient, cooperative and probably the smartest I have worked with. Truth is you are doing phenomenal for a high schooler, your work ethic is unmatched," She fidgeted with the edge of the paper. "And our time together is coming to an end. You'll be done with high school in a few months, then college will be waiting. A new place to make memories and create opportunities for yourself."
She passed me a slice of cake. It was one I didn't recognise, it was not on the menu. I forked up a piece and gave it a cursory taste. 'Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!' "That is a phenomenal cake Mrs Alba. You've outdone yourself yet again." She inspected the cake, scrutinized it. She gave it a taste and let out a deep, weathered sigh.
"I've been thinking of adding something to the menu. Something to set off the new year with a bang." She pushed the cake aside. "But not this, Lukehiem. I was hoping you would do me the honour. I want you to design the new recipes for the menu." I was already on edge when she called out my full name, but what followed was totally unexpected.
"I want you to make something that I can remember you by. Leave a mark in Sigfiend's history. Considered it an early graduation gift—although I can't really call it a gift if you are doing all the work, can I?" I didn't know how to respond. I was overwhelmed for a moment. But the decision still came just as fast.
"I'm sorry I don't think I am fit to make a new menu item. I'm not... not really creative. Not like you, I can't do what you do, only mimick it." I pointed at the masterpiece she just served me. "I can't do this, just imitate it." She smiled at me, a smile that spoke of many confounding emotions.
Through out the years I had spent here I had learned how to prepare everything on the menu and perfected them to the provided recipe. But in those moments I never really learned how to make anything myself, I never bothered to create something knew. I lacked the passion, the drive, the talent to create.
"Please Luke do this for me. The truth is I know you struggle, you find it hard to venture into the depths of expression. You aren't the most expressive of people —or rather you are suppressing your presence, your desire to be seen or heard." She spoke with certainty and Luke had no refute.
"When I was younger I struggled the same. But I found out that life is about making a difference and feeling fulfilled. I learned to express myself through baking, I spent hours mixing confections and blending drinks combinations.
It was an awakening, a reform that allowed me to grow in spirit. Not everyone was welcoming though, even the people I expected to stick with me through it all fell short. They didn't believe in me, they didn't believe I could succeed without following the popular societal path. I didn't want to be a nurse.
To this day my parents judge me silently, refuse to acknowledge me. They have offered reconciliation as time passed, but even that has conditions. I have already built my life, I have my husband, my café and so much more. They want me to throw that all away to fit their mold.
I don't want that for you, I want to give you what I never had. I want you to feel free to let out emotion. Not every battle can be won with logic, especially not a battle of self. When I gave you this task, I considered it the best thing I could do for you, the best life lesson and parting gift—I problem shouldn't call it a gift."
Her words weakened me, they left me feeling exposed. Some of the grievances I had with myself, she laid bare in a moment. Behind those beautifully kind eyes was a torrent of analysis and emotion. Luke always believed that he could achieve anything if he challenged himself long and hard enough.
Yet, in that moment he thought the task impossible. Just a recipe item, but he thought it impossible. He could not muster the strength or will to challenge himself. He was aware he was in need of growth, in need of maturity. Maturity not just in the mental sense but also in his emotional depth and perception.
Lukehiem thought he had more time, he thought he could take it slow. He thought that he had made sufficient progress, afterall he did make a new friend. But in painful truth, those were milestones he should have hit ages ago. He hadn't even progressed to the bare minimum. He had shut down that aspect of himself for a long long time.
"Luke listen me, wipe that disembodied frown off your face. Listen, you don't have to figure everything out just now. You are in no rush. I just want you to know something, as long as your are still driven to change, to grow that is all that matters.
Sure it might be better to progress faster, but it's not necessary. Some people don't figure it out till they are in their advanced years, when we have more time for deep philosophical thought.
You're already doing good for your self. gods know that your doing better than a vast maturity of people." Her thumb jutted to the empty store front, reminding me of the encounter we had with the woman earlier. 'Yeah, yeah she right. She couldn't be more correct.'
I picked up the blank sheet of paper, "Are you sure I can do this? There are better candidates, much better." She smiled at me and put the cake in my empty hand. "I'm very sure Lukehiem, I believe in you. And I'm also sorry. I am contradicting my own words by giving you a deadline. But I believe in you Luke, just one menu item before you graduate. There is no one more capable."
I had received so much praise before. I received cheer for my academic success and commendation for my behaviour. Yet it had never weakened me as her's did just now. I felt my eyes water and shamelessly I tried to hold them back—I was unsuccessful. Tears coursed down my cheeks and my shoulders trembled. 'Don't cry Luke, don't you dare cry.' Yet, the harder I tried to hold back my tears, the easier they flowed.
I looked at her and nodded my head. "I'll do it. I will do my best, I will make a dessert no one will ever forget." Gloria Alba didn't say anything else, she simply wrapped her arms around me, and I cried in the warmth of her hug. She patted my back and whispered comforting words, she told me she believed in me.
I imagined what a younger me would have thought of this situation. The always stalwart and dissociative Lukehiem Fitch was weeping like a child in his employer's arms. The version of himself from a month—no even an hour ago would not believe it possible. 'I guess we are improving.'
Moments later I staggered out of her arms feeling embarrassed but also very resolute. "Thank you for taking your time to talk to me Mrs Alba. I appreciate it more than you could imagine, thank you for everything you've done for me." I followed with a bow, I hoped to convey the respect and gratitude I felt. Mrs Alba panicked and lifted my shoulders up. "Don't be silly Luke. This is the least I can do for you. Afterall we are friends." 'Friends... yes we are.' I gave a firm nod.
I stared at the paper in my hand for a moment longer. A strange contrast, the almost weightless paper was hard to compare to the massive weight of responsibility behind it. I left Mrs Alba to finish closing up, she might stay behind for a long time. Sometimes it was to prepare a fresh batch of dough in preparation of tomorrow. Other times she liked to bake something.
I stepped out into the frigid night air. The winter air was cold and the gale robbed me of warmth. I held my bag closer to my body and pushed against the cold breeze to save myself the trouble. 'I do not want a cold this winter. They always get really bad... actually it has been a while since I got one – a concerning long time.' I marched filled with anticipation of the warm meal waiting for me.
'Yeah I do need to stop by the store to get something. This birthday party is going to be stacked.'