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---
Chapter 57
The reward for saving a village arrived late.
Not because Roswaal had forgotten about the incident.
The margrave did not seem capable of forgetting anything that might later be transformed into a debt, a tool, or an unpleasantly interesting conversation.
Subaru and Link were the ones who had postponed it.
First, there had been the injuries.
Then the curses.
After that, Rem had returned to the forest alone, Link had decided to adopt demon beasts, a dietary necessity had appeared that nobody wanted to discuss over dinner, and the manor had narrowly survived three days under excessively proud management.
Then came Charmander, the confession, the fireworks, the dragon chains, and four lesser fire spirits that had decided to follow Link around without bothering to ask permission.
Life had been busy.
That was why, one morning after the first spirit arts lesson, Roswaal asked both of them to report to his office.
Subaru arrived walking.
Link arrived accompanied by five lights.
Luci remained on his shoulder.
The red flame hovered above his head.
The little ember bird had settled against the back of his shirt.
The bluish-white sphere circled his left arm.
The golden one traced loops around his waist.
Roswaal raised his eyes from the documents.
—I see your training produced a large family.
—They're not my family.
The red flame descended and bumped his nose.
—I also didn't say they were strangers.
The ember bird tugged his hair.
Link raised a hand to move it away.
—I'm trying to maintain a professional image.
Subaru looked at the five lights.
—That would require starting from scratch.
—You came in with your hair looking like that.
—My hair represents spiritual freedom.
—It represents a pillow that fought back.
Roswaal set down his pen.
—The two of you appear sufficiently recovered to discuss outstanding matters.
Subaru's expression grew more serious.
So did Link's.
The spirits did not.
The golden light began chasing the edge of the desk.
Roswaal watched it pass in front of several important documents.
—Is there any possibility they will set these on fire?
—Not while I'm calm.
Subaru looked at Roswaal.
—Put the documents away.
Roswaal gathered the papers without losing his smile.
—A reasonable precaution.
Ram was standing beside a bookshelf.
She held a ledger against her chest and looked as though she had specifically been summoned to prevent her lord's generosity from escaping without administrative supervision.
Rem stood on the opposite side.
Her attention drifted toward Link slightly more often than the meeting required.
Not obviously.
Just enough for Ram to notice.
And for Link to notice that Ram had noticed.
He tried not to smile.
Failed.
Ram opened the ledger.
—The gardener seems especially pleased for someone who has not received any money yet.
—I'm having a good morning.
—Ram believes that can be corrected.
Rem lowered her gaze to hide a small smile.
Roswaal laced his fingers together.
—The events in the forest were dangerous, costly, and politically inconvenient. Nevertheless, Emilia-sama, the village, and the children survived largely because of the two of you.
Subaru shifted.
He wasn't good at receiving direct praise.
Turning praise into a joke was easy. Standing still while someone acknowledged something real was much harder.
Roswaal continued.
—Subaru-kun endured the curses, directed the search, and made it possible to identify the creatures responsible. Link protected the children, fought the pack, subdued several demon beasts, and eliminated their leader.
—Rem fought too —Link said.
—Ram too —Subaru added.
The twins remained still.
Roswaal smiled.
—They acted as servants of House Mathers. They received my recognition and their days off.
Ram looked at Link.
—Days the gardener transformed into a domestic experiment.
—You survived.
—That is a troubling standard.
Roswaal turned back toward the boys.
—Neither of you was obligated to intervene. Therefore, a personal reward is appropriate.
Subaru crossed his arms.
—Anything we want?
—Within reason.
—That last part wasn't there before.
—I have gotten to know both of you better.
Link raised a hand.
—Does money count as reasonable?
Subaru turned toward him.
—Brother, he hasn't even asked us what we want yet.
—I'm saving time.
—You're going to look greedy.
—I almost got eaten by a giant dog. I'm allowed to look greedy.
Roswaal chuckled softly.
—Subaru-kun first.
Subaru took a breath.
He had spent several days considering his options.
Money.
Fewer chores.
A date with Emilia paid for by Roswaal, though even he understood that asking a nobleman for permission to go out with a woman was an undignified way to fail romantically.
More ingredients from his world.
Access to magic.
Training.
Yet every possibility eventually brought him back to the same place.
The forest.
The children.
Petra holding a package against her chest.
The houses lighting up in the distance after Link lost all sense of proportion with the fireworks.
—I want Arlam to be better protected —he said.
Link stopped watching the spirits.
Rem raised her face slightly.
Roswaal showed no surprise.
—In what sense?
—The barrier failed, or it wasn't enough. Demon beasts got in, someone managed to manipulate the children, and nobody had any way to warn the manor until it was already too late.
—You are requesting alterations to my domain.
—I'm asking you to install an alarm that can be activated from the village, inspect the barrier regularly, and keep medical supplies there. Not only here.
Ram studied Subaru with something different from her usual contempt.
—That exceeds the scope of a personal reward.
—Then deduct it from two.
—You only have one —Link said.
—Lend me yours.
—I need a better stone.
—There are children!
—And Charmander can't keep shooting fire at my face.
Subaru stared at him indignantly.
Link raised his hands.
—I helped save them. I've already fulfilled my child-related responsibilities.
Rem intervened before another argument could begin.
—Roswaal-sama has already ordered the damage to the village repaired.
Subaru nodded.
—Repairing something isn't the same as preparing for next time.
Roswaal leaned back.
—An alarm bell linked through lagmites. Periodic inspections of the barrier. A small storehouse containing medicine, antidotes, and emergency tools.
—And someone has to teach them how to use it.
—Naturally.
Subaru held his gaze.
—That's what I want.
—You haven't asked for anything for yourself.
—I could ask Ram to stop calling me Barusu.
—Rejected —Ram said.
—Then I'll take the village.
Roswaal smiled.
—Accepted.
Subaru blinked.
—That easily?
—Maintaining the domain is already my responsibility. Your request merely changes the priority and implementation. Furthermore, a safer village benefits Emilia-sama's candidacy.
Some of Subaru's happiness dimmed.
—You couldn't just leave it as an act of kindness.
—I could have. But it would have been less honest.
Emilia wasn't present, being occupied with her studies, but Subaru imagined her expression when she heard the news.
That was enough.
—Fine.
Roswaal turned toward Link.
—Now you.
—Money.
—What a moving speech —Ram said.
Link ignored her.
—I need finer carving tools, heat-resistant pigments, small metal pieces, and a better lagmite.
—For the lizard? —Roswaal asked.
—Charmander.
—The stone lizard.
—Charmander.
—The object that set your hair on fire —Beatrice said from a doorway that had not existed one second earlier.
Link turned.
—How long have you been listening?
—Since Barusu wasted his reward in an acceptable manner, I suppose.
Subaru pointed toward Link.
—She understands the moral value of my request!
—Betty said acceptable. Not heroic.
Beatrice crossed the threshold and looked at the four lesser spirits.
The red flame approached.
She raised her book.
The flame retreated.
—I also want to improve the internal channels —Link continued—. The lagmite's flow is concentrated too heavily in the throat. I need to split it between the mouth, tail, and arm without letting the pressure accumulate.
Beatrice narrowed her eyes.
—That sounded disturbingly similar to yesterday's lesson.
—I learned.
—Betty hoped you would learn how to turn on a light.
—I turned on ten.
—Then you used the principle to wake up a village.
—There was no crater.
—Stop using that as a defense.
Roswaal looked toward Ram.
—What do you consider appropriate?
Ram opened the ledger.
—Considering his participation in the battle, the risk assumed, and the recovery of useful materials, one pouch of silver would be reasonable.
Link smiled.
Rem looked pleased too.
Ram turned a page.
—Minus the chains.
The smile died.
—What chains?
Everyone looked at him.
Link vaguely pointed toward the floor.
—Oh. Those chains.
—Ground-dragon restraint chains —Ram said—. Two complete sets, four reinforced locks, and one enchanted metal box.
—The box still exists.
—In two pieces.
—That means it can be used as two boxes.
Ram picked up a pouch that had been prepared on a side table.
It was heavy enough to make a pleasant sound when she lifted it.
Link watched the money.
Ram opened the pouch.
Removed some.
Then some more.
Then a third amount.
The sound gradually became less pleasant.
Link followed every movement.
—That seems excessive.
—The engravings were handmade.
Ram removed another coin.
—The metal was designed to restrain an adult ground dragon.
Another.
—Transporting it to the manor also had a cost.
One more.
—And the gardener invited us to use something stronger next time.
Ram finally placed a much smaller pouch in front of him.
It made a modest sound.
Almost shy.
Link lifted it.
—This weighs about as much as my disappointment.
—Then it weighs very little —Ram replied.
He opened the pouch.
There was money inside.
Not much.
Enough, perhaps, for used tools or an imperfect lagmite.
Not both.
—Can I choose not to pay for the box?
—No.
—What if I return it?
—It is broken.
—Roswaal can repair it.
The margrave smiled.
—I can. The repair would also have a price.
Link closed the pouch.
—The system is designed against me.
Rem stepped closer.
—Rem knows merchants in the village and the capital who sell used materials.
Link looked at her.
—Would you come with me?
—Yes.
—As help or as a date?
—Both things can be true.
Link smiled again.
Ram slammed the ledger shut.
—The gardener has managed to turn a debt into a romantic outing.
—I improvise well under pressure.
—That is precisely what worries Ram.
Subaru placed a hand on his shoulder.
—At least you got something.
—You got infrastructure.
—And you got a pouch worth three spoons.
Link shook it.
—They're quality spoons.
One of the fire spirits tried to enter the pouch.
Link closed his fist over the opening.
—Don't eat money.
The golden light bumped into his fingers.
—I don't know if you can eat it, but we're not finding out.
Roswaal picked up his pen again.
—Then the rewards are settled.
Subaru nodded.
Link tucked the pouch inside his shirt.
Rem watched where he put it.
He noticed her gaze.
—I'm not letting Ram touch it again.
—Ram does not need to touch the pouch to charge you —Ram said.
—That sounded supernatural.
—Accounting.
Breakfast was nearly over when Subaru lost the will to live.
It wasn't because of a curse.
Nor an Archbishop, an assassin, or a demon beast.
It happened in front of a plate of eggs, bread, and boiled tubers.
Subaru held a piece of bread.
He stared at it.
Then he looked at the egg.
Then the tuber.
Finally, he let the bread fall back onto his plate.
—I can't keep living like this.
Emilia looked up.
—Are you hurting somewhere?
—Yes.
—Where?
Subaru placed both hands against his chest.
—Here.
Puck, already manifested, floated in front of him.
—Your heart seems to be working.
—I'm not talking about my physical heart. I'm talking about the spiritual organ that allows a man to rise every morning and accept that the world remains worth inhabiting.
Ram poured tea.
—Barusu has discovered another way to say he dislikes breakfast.
—Breakfast is fine!
Rem stopped beside Link.
—Then what is wrong?
Subaru stood.
—It's missing something!
Beatrice opened her book.
—Moderation.
—Flavor! Identity! The creamy union between egg, oil, and divinity!
Emilia blinked.
—I don't understand.
—Mayonnaise!
The dining room fell silent.
Link, who had been placing some meat on his plate, raised an eyebrow.
—That's all?
Subaru turned toward him.
—"That's all?"
—Yes.
—Brother, I've gone weeks without tasting mayonnaise!
—Make some.
Subaru didn't move.
—What?
—Mayonnaise. Make it.
—You know what it is?
—Of course.
Subaru's expression passed through several emotions.
Hope.
Betrayal.
Indignation.
—And you never said anything?
Link set down his fork.
—You never asked.
—We're two people from Earth trapped in another world! There is an unspoken agreement requiring us to share information about lost foods!
—You mentioned ramen, convenience stores, and soda. Never mayonnaise.
—I didn't think I had to list every pillar of civilization!
Link looked toward Rem.
—Do we have eggs, oil, salt, and some kind of acid?
—Yes.
Subaru planted both hands on the table.
—Wait.
Link continued.
—Vinegar works. Lemon too, if the flavor is close enough.
Rem nodded.
—There is fruit vinegar and lemomu.
Subaru pointed a trembling finger at Link.
—You know the recipe?
—Yes.
—From memory?
—It isn't complicated.
—My mother tried to make it and failed. My father too.
Link shrugged.
—We made it at my house.
—Who?
—Whoever happened to be around when we needed it.
An image passed through his mind.
A crowded table.
Pots.
Voices coming from three different rooms.
A woman telling him to add the oil slowly.
Another telling him not to waste eggs.
Music playing too loudly.
People wandering into the kitchen to taste things before the food was ready.
Link explained none of it.
He simply took another piece of bread.
—Separate the yolk, add salt and acid, whisk it, and slowly add oil until it emulsifies.
Subaru stared at him.
—What? —Link asked.
—You just reduced a spiritual quest to four instructions.
—You can pray while whisking if you want.
Subaru pushed his chair back.
—To the kitchen!
Ram took a sip of tea.
—No.
Subaru stopped.
—Why?
—Breakfast is not finished.
—Ram, destiny is calling me!
—It can wait until you clean your plate.
Subaru looked at the food.
Then the kitchen.
Then Link.
—Help me.
—Eat.
—You too!
—I already finished.
Subaru stared at his plate.
Link had eaten while Subaru was talking.
—Monster.
—Efficient.
Rem placed another serving in front of Link.
—He has not finished yet.
He looked at the plate.
Then at his partner.
—That was an ambush.
—Link trained yesterday and needs to eat more.
The red flame descended toward the food.
Link pushed it away.
—You too.
Subaru sat back down.
He ate with enough speed to make Emilia lean away.
—Do you really have to hurry that much? —she asked.
—Every second without mayonnaise is a second that will never return.
Link raised an eyebrow.
—You've died several times. Technically, some of them did return.
Subaru choked.
Ram struck him between the shoulder blades.
—Barusu is even incompetent at eating.
Link continued eating as if he had said nothing unusual.
Nobody else understood the full meaning of the remark.
Subaru did.
He stared at Link.
Link kept his attention on his plate.
This wasn't the time.
Subaru swallowed.
—To the kitchen —he repeated, this time without shouting.
Subaru entered the kitchen like a general returning to an ancestral battlefield.
Link walked in behind him with his hands in his pockets.
Rem had already prepared the ingredients.
Eggs.
Oil.
Salt.
Vinegar.
Lemomus.
Several seasonings.
Ram settled into a chair near the table, supposedly because Roswaal had sent her to make sure they didn't waste the pantry.
In reality, everyone knew she had come to watch the disaster.
Emilia and Puck remained at the entrance.
Beatrice did not appear.
Subaru suspected she had sensed a culinary experiment and made a sensible decision for the first time in centuries.
—All right —he declared—. We're going to create the greatest mayonnaise this world has ever known.
Link picked up an egg.
—First we make a small amount.
—Greatness is not born from small quantities.
—Waste is born from large ones.
Rem placed an apron in front of Link.
—He should protect his clothes.
He raised his arms so she could fasten it.
Rem stepped behind him.
Wrapped the ribbon around his waist.
Her fingers moved slowly.
More slowly than necessary.
Link lowered his gaze.
—That knot is taking a while.
—Rem wishes to make sure it is secure.
She tightened it.
Link's body shifted slightly backward.
The upper part of his back brushed against Rem's chest.
Subaru watched them.
—No.
Link turned his head slightly.
—What?
—Mayonnaise is a sacred rite. You two are not turning it into a couples activity.
Rem finished tying the apron.
—Rem is only helping.
—You did that on purpose!
—Subaru appears distressed by his lack of mayonnaise.
Ram spoke from the chair.
—Ram believes Barusu should be grateful they are still wearing clothes.
Emilia turned red.
Puck laughed.
Subaru spread both hands.
—That doesn't help either!
Link looked at Rem.
Her expression remained flawless.
He knew she had done it deliberately.
She knew he knew.
Neither of them said anything.
—Eggs —Subaru ordered.
Rem placed a basket on the table.
There were far too many.
—How many did you bring? —Link asked.
—Rem did not know how many you would need.
Subaru stared at the mountain.
—Were you planning to fill a bathtub?
Rem tilted her head.
—Does Subaru wish to swim in it?
—It was an expression!
Link took two eggs.
—We'll use these.
Subaru grabbed one.
—I'll make the first attempt.
—You know you don't remember the recipe.
—I possess cultural knowledge.
—Cultural knowledge doesn't cook.
—Passion will cook.
Ram closed her eye.
—Ram pities the eggs.
Subaru cracked the first one.
Part of the shell fell into the bowl.
He tried to remove it with his finger.
The fragment moved away.
He tried again.
The shell spun.
Link watched for several seconds.
Then he reached over, wet the edge of a larger piece of shell, and picked up the smaller fragment in one motion.
Subaru frowned.
—Show-off.
—Shell attracts shell.
—You could've mentioned that before.
—I wanted to see how long it took you.
Ram opened her eye.
—The gardener is learning appropriate forms of entertainment.
Subaru separated the yolk as best he could.
Some egg white remained.
Link didn't correct him.
Yet.
Subaru added salt.
Pepper.
A little oil.
Then some more.
Then an amount that made Link tilt his head.
—Slowly.
—It needs body.
—It needs to emulsify.
Subaru started whisking.
The mixture remained liquid.
He added more oil.
—No.
—It's close.
—It's separating.
—Trust me.
—No.
Subaru whisked harder.
Liquid splashed onto his shirt.
Ram examined the bowl.
—It looks like a soup that has lost the will to live.
—It's still in progress!
Link picked up another bowl.
He cracked an egg with one hand.
Separated the yolk between the two halves of the shell and let the white fall into another container.
Rem watched him.
—Link has experience.
—A little.
Subaru kept whisking.
—Don't start before I'm finished!
—You're already finished. You just don't know it yet.
Link placed a damp cloth beneath the bowl to stop it from moving.
Added salt.
A few drops of vinegar.
Took the whisk.
—Rem.
She stepped closer.
—Yes?
—Oil. Thin stream.
Rem lifted the pitcher.
—Like this?
She poured slowly.
Link began whisking.
Not too fast.
A steady rhythm.
The oil fell in a thin line as the yolk became paler and thicker.
Subaru slowed his own whisking.
He looked at Link's bowl.
Then his.
—That looks like mayonnaise.
—Because it is.
—Not yet.
Link added a little more oil.
Rem adjusted the flow without being asked.
They moved easily together.
He whisked.
She poured.
When the bowl tried to slide, Rem rested one hand against its edge.
Link's fingers brushed hers with every rotation.
Subaru saw it.
—You're flirting with an emulsion!
—We're cooking —Link replied.
—Rem is smiling!
—Rem enjoys learning.
—You're looking at his hands, not the bowl!
Rem lowered her eyes toward the mixture.
—Now Rem is looking at the bowl.
—That does not erase what happened before!
Ram rested her cheek on one hand.
—Barusu is jealous of the mayonnaise.
—I'm protecting it!
The mixture continued thickening.
Link stopped whisking.
He lifted a small amount.
The texture held.
—Taste it.
Rem opened her mouth.
Link brought the spoon closer.
She accepted the mayonnaise without looking away from him.
She tasted it.
Thought.
Link waited.
—It needs more acidity —Rem said.
—Yeah.
He added a few more drops of vinegar.
Whisked again.
Rem took another small serving.
This time she was the one who raised the spoon toward Link.
He looked at her.
—What?
—He should taste it.
—I can take the spoon.
—Rem is already holding it.
Link opened his mouth.
Tasted it.
The flavor was right.
Smooth.
Rich.
Tangy.
Different because of Lugunica's ingredients, but perfectly recognizable.
—It's good.
Rem kept the spoon in front of him.
Link noticed a small amount on her thumb.
Before thinking too much, he took her wrist and cleaned the mayonnaise away with his lips.
The kitchen fell silent.
Rem froze.
Link froze too.
Subaru dropped the whisk into his liquid mixture.
Emilia covered her mouth.
Puck's eyes widened.
Ram's expression didn't change.
That was worse.
Link slowly released Rem's wrist.
—There was mayonnaise.
—Rem noticed.
Her face was starting to color.
—I didn't want to waste it.
—An admirable display of thrift —Ram said—. Ram hopes the gardener does not begin cleaning every utensil in the same fashion.
—It was automatic.
—Naturally.
Subaru pointed toward the door.
—Out! Both of you! You have profaned the birth of mayonnaise!
Link picked up the whisk again.
—You still need my recipe.
Subaru lowered his arm.
—You can stay. But keep your mouths for talking.
Ram looked at Rem.
—That seems unlikely.
Rem picked up the oil pitcher.
—Rem will continue helping.
Her voice remained calm.
However, when she passed behind Link again, she leaned against his back for an instant.
He stopped whisking.
—Rem.
—The space is narrow.
—The table is three meters long.
—Rem is holding hot oil.
—It's room temperature.
She poured a perfect thread.
Link breathed through his nose.
Subaru closed his eyes.
—I'm going to die before I get to taste it.
—That would complicate my life considerably —Link said.
—Not because you'd die! Because I'd die!
—That too.
Subaru's second attempt was better.
Not good.
Better.
Link gave him a new yolk and forced him to add the oil slowly.
Subaru obeyed for ten seconds.
Then he lost patience.
The mixture separated.
—Why? —he asked, staring at the bowl as if an old friend had betrayed him.
—Too much oil at once.
—I'm following the essence.
—The essence requires patience.
—My mother couldn't do it either.
—That doesn't make it genetic.
Subaru looked at the first failed bowl.
—My dad managed one. Said it wasn't as good as the store-bought stuff.
Some of the theatrics had left his voice.
Link noticed.
—You aren't going to get the exact same flavor.
Subaru looked up.
—The eggs are different. So is the oil. The vinegar changes it too. But we can get close.
Subaru held the whisk.
—I want it to be the same.
Link understood.
It wasn't only a sauce.
It was a table.
A bottle inside a refrigerator.
A mother's voice saying something ridiculous while preparing food.
A father turning any household chore into a competition.
A flavor that had existed before Lugunica.
—Then we'll keep trying —Link said.
Subaru looked at him.
No joke.
Link picked up another egg.
—But this time, listen to me.
Subaru smiled.
—That reduces the excitement.
—Listen to me excitedly.
Ram stood up from the chair.
—Ram is tired of observing incompetence.
She took a clean bowl.
Separated a yolk with precise movements.
Added salt and vinegar after watching Link do it only once.
—You too? —Subaru asked.
—Ram wishes to demonstrate that Barusu's prior knowledge possesses no value.
—It's my cultural food!
—And yet the gardener prepares it better.
Link raised a hand.
—I roughly belong to that culture too.
—Not the same country —Subaru protested.
—Different continent doesn't mean different planet.
Ram picked up the whisk.
A current of wind formed inside the bowl.
The utensil began spinning.
Link stepped closer.
—Slower.
Ram looked at him.
—Ram knows how to control her magic.
—The mixture doesn't need force. It needs consistency.
She lowered the speed.
Rem poured in oil.
The emulsion appeared almost immediately.
Subaru stared at the bowl.
—This is unfair.
—It is the difference between someone competent and Barusu.
—You didn't even know what mayonnaise was an hour ago!
Ram lifted the whisk.
The texture was almost perfect.
—Now Ram knows it better than Barusu.
Subaru fell to his knees.
—My identity is being destroyed by two Latin Americans and a maid with wind magic.
—There's only one Latin American —Link said.
—Emotionally, you count as a group!
The red flame descended toward the bowl.
Link pushed it away.
—No.
The blue sphere approached from the other side.
—This doesn't need heating.
The ember bird landed on the oil pitcher.
The surface began to give off a little smoke.
—You too!
Link grabbed it with both hands.
It didn't burn him, but it struggled by flapping its wings.
The golden light circled the whisk.
Luci rammed into it.
The two began chasing each other over the table.
—My supervisors are making the kitchen worse.
Puck watched the spirits.
—They're attracted to your enthusiasm.
—I'm not using mana.
—You don't need to. You shout enough.
The bird escaped and landed on a cloth.
One corner began to darken.
Rem poured a small amount of water over it.
The spirit flew away, offended.
—They should not be near the preparation area —she said.
—You heard Rem. Out.
The four lights didn't react.
Rem looked up.
—Link.
—I'm establishing authority.
—It does not appear to be working.
Link manifested a kagune.
He extended it like a soft barrier and pushed the four spirits toward the window.
Luci followed them.
The red flame tried to return.
The kagune blocked the opening.
—Five minutes.
The light bumped into the membrane.
—Ten if you keep insisting.
It stopped.
Link withdrew the kagune.
The spirits hovered outside the window, staring at him with collective disappointment.
Beatrice appeared beside them through another door.
She looked at the four lights.
Then the wet cloth.
Finally Link.
—They've already inherited your bad decisions, I suppose.
—I didn't teach them anything.
—Which means you attract them naturally.
—Want mayonnaise?
Beatrice looked at the white substance.
—No.
—You haven't tried it.
—Betty can judge it from here.
—That's what Ram says about my spells.
—Ram is usually correct.
Link raised a spoon.
—Just a little.
Beatrice stepped away.
—Betty will return when the kitchen stops resembling a suspicious ritual.
The door closed.
Subaru pointed toward the empty space.
—She'll be back.
—Why?
—Curiosity and hidden gluttony.
Puck nodded.
—You know Beatrice well.
Subaru's third attempt worked.
Not because he suddenly remembered the process.
Because Link placed a hand over the oil pitcher and refused to let him tilt it more than necessary.
—Slowly.
—That's too slow.
—Slowly.
—My arm is getting tired.
—I whisked the first batch.
—You have monstrous strength.
—This doesn't require strength.
—Then why does it hurt?
—Because you've never cooked.
Subaru kept whisking.
Rem held the bowl.
Ram watched the texture.
Link controlled the oil.
The process took several minutes.
Subaru complained through all of them.
But when the mixture began to thicken, he fell silent.
The whisk left trails.
The color changed.
Mayonnaise appeared.
Subaru slowly lifted the utensil.
Some remained clinging to it.
—I did it.
—Yes —Link said.
—I did it.
—You still have to taste it.
Subaru took a small amount.
Put it in his mouth.
For a moment, the dining room, the kitchen, and everyone around him disappeared.
It wasn't exactly the same.
The oil had a different undertone.
The egg tasted stronger.
The vinegar brought a different kind of acidity.
But it was there.
The texture.
The rich hit of fat.
The familiarity.
A food that did not belong to that world had managed to cross the distance.
Subaru closed his eyes.
—It's close.
Link leaned against the table.
—I told you.
—Really close.
His voice cracked slightly.
Emilia stepped forward.
—Is something wrong?
Subaru quickly shook his head.
—No. It's...
He couldn't find the word.
He couldn't say home.
The word would be too dangerous in front of people who did not know where he came from.
Link took a clean spoon.
Tasted it.
—Needs a little more salt.
Subaru opened his eyes.
—Don't ruin the moment.
—And another drop of vinegar.
—Let me feel things!
—You can feel them with better seasoning.
Link added what it needed.
Mixed it.
Handed him another serving.
Subaru tasted it.
His eyes watered.
—Now it's right.
Link didn't tease him.
He gave his shoulder a gentle bump.
Nothing more.
Emilia approached.
—Can I try it?
Subaru instantly regained his energy.
—Emilia-tan, prepare yourself to experience one of humanity's greatest achievements!
Link took the bowl before Subaru could dump half of it onto her plate.
—Small amount first.
—Don't limit the experience!
—She's never tried it before.
Rem placed a piece of boiled tuber on a plate.
Added a small amount of mayonnaise.
Emilia took it.
Puck hovered near her face, prepared to prevent any culinary danger.
She bit down.
Thought.
Subaru held his breath.
—It's good.
His shoulders dropped.
—Only good?
Emilia took another piece.
—Very good.
—Yes!
Subaru threw both arms into the air.
—The evangelization has begun!
Ram tasted hers.
—Acceptable.
—That means you like it!
—It means Ram will not throw it away.
Rem took another serving.
The flavor was new.
It didn't carry the emotional weight it held for Subaru and Link. Even so, she could recognize its usefulness: it added moisture, richness, and an acidic contrast to simple foods.
—It could go well with cold meat —she said—. Also vegetables, bread, and eggs.
Subaru pointed toward her.
—Rem understands!
Link rested an arm over his partner's shoulders.
—Rem understands almost everything.
She looked up.
—Except why Link needed to launch so many fireworks.
—The composition demanded volume.
—No.
—See? Almost everything.
Rem picked up a small spoon.
Scooped some mayonnaise.
Held it to Link's lips.
—He should try Subaru's.
He opened his mouth.
She fed him.
Subaru stared at the scene.
—He could have tasted it himself.
—Yes —Rem said.
—Then—
—Rem wanted to do it.
Subaru squeezed his eyes shut.
—My sauce has been kidnapped by romance.
Ram walked past him.
—Barusu retains the ability to ruin it merely through his presence.
—I'm its creator!
—The gardener provided the recipe.
—I provided the need!
—A valuable contribution for any addict —Link said.
Subaru protected the bowl against his chest.
—You're not getting any more.
—I made the first batch.
—And you used it for seduction.
Rem raised a hand.
—It worked.
Link looked at her.
Subaru made a sound of suffering.
Ram carried away a tray.
—Ram hopes mayonnaise will not increase the oni population.
—How did you connect those two things? —Link asked.
—Observation of the kitchen.
Rem began gathering the ingredients.
—Nee-sama does not need to worry.
Link looked at her.
She continued as if she had said nothing unusual.
—Does that mean...?
Rem placed a bowl in his hands.
—Take this to the dining room.
—Rem.
—Lunch will not serve itself.
She walked away.
Link watched the movement of her skirt.
Subaru snapped his fingers in front of Link's eyes.
—Bowl.
—I have it.
—You're tilting it.
Link straightened it.
Lunch was simple.
Boiled tubers.
Eggs.
Vegetables.
Cold meat.
Bread.
And several bowls of mayonnaise arranged in the middle of the table like a religious offering.
Roswaal looked at the food.
Then at Subaru.
—I see you have discovered yet another way to use my pantry.
Subaru stood up.
—This is mayonnaise. A sauce passed down among my people since ancient times.
Link looked up.
—Don't invent history.
—The presentation requires drama.
—It's egg and oil.
Subaru pointed toward the table.
—Do not reveal the mysteries to the uninitiated!
—Everyone was in the kitchen.
—Roswaal wasn't.
The margrave tilted his head.
—I feel excluded.
—You can regain inclusion by tasting it.
Subaru held out the plate.
Roswaal took a small amount.
Tasted it.
His smile barely changed.
—Interesting.
—Only interesting?
—Creamy. Acidic. Quite versatile.
Subaru accepted the judgment.
Puck was already eating beside Emilia.
He had insisted on tasting it first for safety and ended up requesting a second serving.
Beatrice was nowhere to be seen.
Link looked toward the door.
—She'll appear.
—No —Ram said.
—Yes.
—Betty rejected the sauce.
—Betty rejects lots of things before accepting them.
Subaru placed a small plate beside a random door.
—Bait.
Thirty seconds passed.
Nothing.
One minute.
The door opened slightly.
A small hand appeared.
Took the plate.
Disappeared.
The door closed again.
Link looked at Ram.
—We win.
—Betty merely removed an abandoned object, I suppose —Beatrice's voice said from the other side.
Subaru raised a fist.
—Mayonnaise one, pride zero!
The door did not open again.
Roswaal looked at the bowls.
—How much did this experiment cost?
Some of Subaru's enthusiasm vanished.
He looked at the eggs they had used.
The oil.
The vinegar.
The failed attempts.
—About that...
Rem intervened.
—The ingredients belong to the manor's normal provisions, and the failed attempts can be incorporated into other dishes. There was no significant loss.
—Thank you, Rem —Subaru said.
She nodded politely.
Roswaal rested his face against one hand.
—In the past, Subaru-kun offered considerably valuable services to compensate for a questionable meal.
Link looked toward the Japanese boy.
—In the past?
—A figure of speech —Roswaal said without altering his smile—. It simply seems like the sort of decision he would make.
Subaru felt a chill.
So did Link.
Neither said anything.
Roswaal took another piece of tuber.
—But your reward has already been allocated to Arlam. I will consider this an authorized culinary trial.
Subaru exhaled.
—Thank you.
—Provided future production does not interfere with the manor's responsibilities.
Rem studied the bowls.
—It can be prepared in advance and kept cold for a limited period.
—Rem —Link said.
—Yes?
—You don't have to take care of it yourself.
—Rem did not say she would do it alone.
Ram drank some tea.
—Ram can use wind to reduce the time.
Subaru smiled.
—The mayonnaise trio.
Link raised an eyebrow.
—There are four of us.
—You're invited, but the name already exists in my heart.
—Then your heart is bad at counting.
Emilia took another serving.
—You could make different flavors.
Subaru turned toward her.
—Emilia-tan has just opened a door.
—With herbs? —she asked.
—Garlic —Link said.
—Spicy —Subaru added.
—No fruit —Ram said.
—Nobody suggested fruit.
—Barusu thought about it.
—I thought about lemon.
—It already contains that.
Link touched his chin.
—We could use it as a base for other sauces.
Subaru pointed at him.
—Now you understand.
—I understood from the beginning. I just don't belong to a condiment religion.
—Yet.
After lunch, Link and Rem remained in the kitchen.
Not because everyone else had deliberately abandoned them.
Subaru left with several containers to calculate how long the mayonnaise could be preserved.
Ram took the records.
Emilia returned to her studies.
Puck would dematerialize later.
Roswaal went back to his office.
Beatrice continued denying that she had eaten any.
Link washed the containers.
Rem dried them.
They didn't need four kagunes or magic.
Only water, soap, and time.
—Subaru was happy —Rem said.
—Yeah.
—Not only because of the flavor.
Link lowered another bowl into the water.
—No.
Rem waited.
He didn't explain.
Not because he distrusted her.
Because that part of Subaru did not belong to him to tell.
—It reminded him of something important —he said at last.
—From his homeland.
Link looked at her.
Rem continued drying.
Subaru and Link had let enough strange words slip that the conclusion was not impossible. Even so, she did not ask what land it was, how far away it lay, or why neither of them seemed capable of returning.
Link appreciated the silence.
—It reminded me too —he admitted.
Rem put down the cloth.
—Did Link make mayonnaise with his family?
—Sometimes.
He picked up another container.
—At gatherings. Parties. Whenever there was too much food and too many people giving orders in the same kitchen.
A smile appeared.
—One person said it needed more oil. Another said there was already too much. Someone always tasted things before they were finished. A spoon always disappeared.
Rem listened.
—It sounds lively.
—It was loud.
—Link likes noise.
—The right kind of noise.
Water moved around his hands.
—Today's kitchen felt a little like that.
Ram giving orders.
Subaru shouting.
Emilia asking questions.
Puck eating.
The spirits trying to set the oil on fire.
Rem beside him.
It wasn't the same.
It never would be.
That didn't make it false.
Rem set the cloth on the table.
She approached from behind.
Wrapped both arms around his waist.
Her chest rested against Link's back.
This time there was no apron ribbon to justify the contact.
Link stopped washing.
—The road isn't narrow.
—We are not on a road.
—Then your previous defense just died.
Rem rested her cheek between his shoulder blades.
—Rem was not defending herself.
Link's hands remained in the water.
—That's dangerous.
—Link will survive.
—My body will.
She tightened the embrace.
—Rem wants this kitchen to be able to remind him of something important too.
Link closed his eyes.
The warmth of her arms didn't resemble the warmth of his home.
It was new.
Enough to belong only to this place.
—It already does.
Rem remained still.
Link pulled his hands out of the water and dried them.
Then he turned around inside her embrace.
—I still have mayonnaise on my face, don't I?
—Yes.
—Subaru didn't say anything.
—Subaru had more.
Rem raised her thumb.
She wiped a small spot near his jaw.
Link looked at her finger.
So did she.
Before he could repeat what had happened that morning, Rem brought her thumb to her lips and cleaned it herself.
Link froze.
—That was deliberate.
—Rem did not want to waste it.
—You're using my arguments against me.
—They are useful.
—Your expression is far too innocent.
She smiled.
Link placed one hand against her waist.
—I can find another spot.
—His face is already clean.
—I didn't say it was on my face.
Rem turned red.
Only a little.
Enough to make Link smile.
She placed one hand against his chest.
—Link is becoming bold.
—My partner is a bad influence.
—Rem believes Link was already beyond saving.
—Fair.
He leaned closer.
The kiss carried a faint acidic taste.
It didn't last very long.
Long enough for Rem to grip his shirt and for Link to forget there was still water sitting in the sink.
A dull thud sounded against the table.
They jumped apart.
Ram stood in the doorway.
She had placed an empty container in front of them.
—One remains to be washed.
Link looked at the bowl.
—You could've brought it later.
—Ram could have.
Rem slowly released Link's shirt.
—Nee-sama.
—Ram celebrates that mayonnaise has helped facilitate the demographic recovery of the oni.
—Nothing happened —Link said.
Ram looked at the space between them.
—Evidently, the gardener requires more practice.
Rem covered her mouth.
Link pointed toward the door.
—Out of my kitchen.
—It belongs to Roswaal-sama.
—Out of Roswaal's kitchen.
Ram turned.
—Remember to feed the demon beasts before you go shopping tomorrow.
Link blinked.
—What shopping?
Ram looked at Rem.
Rem looked down at the container she was drying.
—Rem spoke to a merchant.
—About materials?
—He has used tools and several imperfect lagmites.
Link smiled.
—Then it really is a date.
—It will be a shopping trip.
—Both things can be true.
Rem looked up.
—Yes.
Ram closed her eyes.
—Ram regrets facilitating this.
She left.
Link turned back toward Rem.
—What time?
—After breakfast.
—Just the two of us?
—Ram prepared a list.
—That doesn't answer the question.
—Subaru will be occupied with Emilia-sama. Nee-sama has work.
Link's smile widened.
—Just the two of us.
Rem picked up the final container.
—And the spirits.
Four lights were pressed against the window, watching them.
Luci occupied the center.
Link sighed.
—Five chaperones.
The red flame passed through the open window and settled on his head.
The blue sphere descended onto Rem's shoulder.
Luci pushed it away.
The light returned.
Rem laughed.
—It will be a crowded date.
Link pulled out the diminished pouch of coins.
He shook it.
—On a reduced budget.
—Rem will help negotiate.
—That's romantic too.
—Link thinks anything Rem does is romantic.
—Correct.
—That seems undemanding.
Link put the pouch away.
—I survived Ram charging me for dragon chains. My financial standards have been destroyed.
Rem took his hand.
—We will get what is necessary.
—The lagmite?
—Yes.
—Tools?
—Probably.
—A new stone?
—That will depend on the price.
—Food along the way?
—Rem will prepare it.
—Definitely a date.
She squeezed his fingers.
—Definitely.
Subaru's voice came from the hallway.
—LINK! I NEED ANOTHER BOWL! I'M TESTING MAYONNAISE WITH HERBS!
Link closed his eyes.
—I'm going to reprimand him.
Subaru appeared carrying a jar.
There was mayonnaise on one cheek, in his hair, and on part of his shirt.
—The garlic version will change the world!
Link stared at him.
Then looked at Rem.
—Can we pretend we don't know him?
—That would not be kind.
—We can try doing it respectfully.
Subaru set the container on the table.
The stone Charmander had temporarily been moved to a shelf in the kitchen to keep it away from the spirits.
It still held its thumb up.
Subaru pointed toward it.
—Charmander supports me.
The small lagmite inside its chest glowed.
Link turned.
—Who put the stone back in?
Nobody answered.
All four fire spirits retreated at the same time.
Luci hid behind Rem.
Charmander opened its mouth.
Link lunged for it.
A tiny tongue of flame crossed the kitchen.
It hit nobody.
It reached the tip of the cloth covering a jar of mayonnaise.
Rem extinguished the flame with the damp cloth.
Subaru hugged the jar.
—Protect the mayonnaise!
Ram returned after hearing the commotion.
She looked at the smoke.
The spirits.
Charmander.
Subaru hugging a condiment.
Link clutching the statue to his chest.
Rem holding the wet cloth.
—Ram was gone for less than one minute.
—It wasn't my fault —Link said.
All five lights moved away from him.
Ram closed her eyes.
—Of course.
Link removed Charmander's lagmite.
The figure kept its thumb raised.
Its stone expression continued to celebrate the disaster.
Subaru checked that the mayonnaise was unharmed.
Rem took Link's free hand.
The kitchen smelled of egg, vinegar, oil, and a small amount of scorched cloth.
It wasn't the smell of his home.
Nor Subaru's.
It was something new.
Ridiculous.
Loud.
Shared.
Subaru raised the jar toward the ceiling.
—From this day forward begins the wonderful life with mayonnaise!
Ram picked up the whisk.
—From this day forward, Barusu will clean up his own experiments.
—That's part of the journey too!
Link looked at the diminished pouch containing his reward.
Then at Charmander.
Then at Rem.
He had saved a village, fought a pack, and destroyed chains capable of restraining dragons, only to end up with a few coins, a shopping date, and mayonnaise in the kitchen.
He smiled.
It wasn't a terrible reward.