Half a month later.
"Mr. Clark, here's your payment. Please take it."
When the agent handed Clark a massive check, he was almost in a daze.
He hadn't expected that, thanks to Spider-Man's neurotic efforts over the past half-month, his farm's crops had matured a hundred times over, and his livestock had multiplied wave after wave.
This skyrocketed the farm's profits a hundredfold, giving Clark basic financial freedom and allowing him to pay off the bank's loans.
Watching the agent leave, Clark looked at Charlie, his eyes full of gratitude.
"Thanks, Charlie. I can finally propose to Lois now."
Charlie: "…"
He gave Clark a resentful look. "I feel like I've done a lifetime's work in this half-month. So, Mr. Clark, can you agree to go on a trip now?"
Clark thought for a moment. "Sure, I've decided to have a wedding trip."
Charlie grinned. "Great, that's good news."
Though he'd used the Omega Beams to accelerate time, the Resurrection Match's timer didn't shrink.
No bugs in these cheats anymore?
Far away on Apokolips, Darkseid opened his eyes.
"This bug's methods are crude but effective."
He hadn't expected that getting Superman off Earth would involve financial freedom.
If he'd known, he would've had Steppenwolf bring a pile of Earth gold to Superman.
It would've saved him countless Parademons and all that time.
But soon, he got bad news.
Earth.
"Ugh~"
Under the night sky, Clark sat on a rooftop, sighing heavily.
"Lois rejected my proposal. I might not be able to go on a wedding trip."
Darkseid: "???"
Earthlings are such a hassle!!
His forehead darkened with frustration.
But Spider-Man would have a way, surely.
He kept watching patiently.
And Spider-Man didn't disappoint.
"Clark, listen. If she doesn't agree, we can beat her until she does," Charlie said seriously.
Clark's mouth twitched. "You serious?"
Darkseid couldn't help but nod with a smile. "No wonder he's Spider-Man. Decisive. This'll definitely work."
As an alien, he didn't care about free love.
Charlie grinned and patted Clark's shoulder. "Kidding, of course."
He comforted, "It's fine. You're rich now. You can find a new girlfriend."
Clark: "…"
Darkseid clapped again, thrilled.
"Hahaha, what a clever bug."
He was very pleased with Spider-Man's performance.
There was always a new way to get Clark off Earth.
As for Clark, he was speechless at Charlie's terrible idea.
"I love her. I can't do that."
"Alright, what's she unhappy about?" Charlie asked.
Clark shook his head. "She wants to build a career and thinks it's too early to marry."
"Too early?"
Charlie laughed, his eyes flashing red.
"Let me age her up. Problem solved."
Clark: "…"
This guy was getting more absurd.
From Apokolips, Darkseid watched through the Omega Beams' perspective, thoroughly entertained by their banter.
Earthling conversations were way more fun than conquering worlds.
No wonder he's Spider-Man—always full of new ideas.
He was very satisfied.
But Clark wasn't.
Who'd want their super young, gorgeous girlfriend to age? "Spider-Man, how long have you been like this?" Clark finally asked the question he'd been holding back.
Charlie frowned. "You think I'm crazy?" He glared at Clark.
Clark waved his hands. "No, no, not crazy—mentally ill. Sounds similar, but they're different conditions."
"There's no difference!"
Charlie stood, huffing. "Since we're friends, I'll forgive your rudeness. Once I help you propose successfully, we'll settle this. I'll be mad at you for a month."
He turned and left.
Watching Charlie's back, Clark was exasperated but deeply touched.
A friend like this was hard to top.
The next day, Charlie started his wild antics.
"Hey, it's me, the invincible Spider-Man. Mr. Bruce, I need you to sponsor a wedding—damn, he hung up again! Go to hell, jerk!"
Charlie cursed into the phone, making Clark worry about his friend's mental state.
Was he really going nuts? If so, what drove Spider-Man crazy?
Clark was puzzled.
Next, Charlie called Diana.
"Hey, it's me, your good friend Spider-Man. I need… a bit of your wealth—huh? You're stuck at home and can't come back? Fine, I'm in a rush, no time to wait."
Hanging up, Charlie thought of his "big son."
He called Arthur.
Beep beep beep~ The number you've dialed is out of service. Please try again later.
Hearing this, Charlie crushed the phone and headed to Atlantis, returning with a chest of gems.
"No woman can resist this money offensive!"
Charlie kicked the chest, brimming with confidence.
Clark: "…"
Touching, but still too absurd.
He couldn't imagine what came next.
…
An hour later.
Outside Lois's company, Charlie grabbed a megaphone and shouted, "Lois, don't hide in there silently! I know you're working. See this? It's all for you. Agree to the proposal, and I'll give you anything~~~"
With a snap of his fingers, a helicopter above showered colorful ribbons. Crew members tossed smoke bombs.
BOOM!
The smoke exploded, forming "I love you" in the wind.
The romantic assault continued.
WHOOSH~ BANG!!
Fireworks bloomed, Lois's face projected in the sky.
Then, supercars rolled down the street, their roofs opening to reveal stacks of cash, dazzling onlookers.
"My God, so much money!"
"Who is Lois? To get pursued by such a tycoon…"
"She's so lucky."
"Truly blessed." Clark, in the crowd, couldn't help but tear up.
He felt Spider-Man was ruining his love life.
Sure enough, Lois, upstairs, saw it all.
Under her colleagues' envious glares, her fair, delicate face darkened repeatedly.
Where'd this lunatic come from? She didn't know this guy.
Wait, he looked familiar.
Lois realized—she'd seen him in a photo at Clark's house.
She knew he was Spider-Man.
Her expression turned odd.
Spider-Man, a hero stronger than Clark, was someone Lois admired.
But now… Spider-Man was proposing to her?
Oh my God!
Had Spider-Man been watching her all along?
Lois covered her mouth, shocked.
Her charm was unreal.
On one side, the charming, once-poor-but-now-rich Clark. On the other, the world's hero, filthy rich, and tackily romantic Spider-Man.
A tough choice.
Thus, a beautiful misunderstanding unfolded.
Charlie had made things even messier.
But Darkseid didn't notice.
From his perspective, Spider-Man was trying hard.
More importantly, this drama was entertaining.
Addictive!
On his throne, Darkseid's smiles grew, baffling his minions.
The cruel, cold king of Apokolips, the multiverse's sole New God, seemed… different.
This was probably good.
A happier Darkseid meant less stress for them.
So, Spider-Man's absurd, dramatic life played on.
"Clark, this is as far as I can help."
At Clark's farm, a dejected Charlie found him.
"One good news, one bad news. Which first?"
Clark had a bad feeling.
"By cosmic law, bad news first."
"Alright, bad news: Lois is even less likely to accept your proposal."
Clark closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
He'd been prepared since Spider-Man's stunt.
"And the good news?"
The gloomy Charlie suddenly grinned. "Lois asked me to dinner tonight."
Clark: "!!!"
"Charlie Parker!!!"
He roared through gritted teeth. "You have no heart!!!"
BOOM!!
The farm quaked as terrifying power surged.
That night, they fought.
It ended with Clark sporting panda eyes.
Apokolips.
A burst of laughter erupted from the throne.
"Hahaha, no wonder he's Spider-Man! If he can't help Clark propose, he'll steal his girlfriend, crush his spirit, weaken his fighting power, and force him to leave Earth, the place of his heartbreak.
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! So fun!"
Darkseid slapped his thigh, laughing, then waved a hand.
"Prepare three million Parademons! I'm rewarding Spider-Man handsomely!"
His minions: "???"
What madness was the king on now?
In the end, three million Parademons were readied, awaiting Spider-Man's return to become his personal army.
Darkseid even considered gifting him a planet.
Simply spectacular! Apokolips' vibe shifted.
On Earth, Clark couldn't beat Spider-Man. He drowned his sorrows in alcohol, abandoning his superhero duties.
The farm's barn was littered with empty bottles.
A disheveled Clark lay in a corner, muddled daily.
His first love was stolen.
He'd lost his purpose.
Clearly, he'd been wallowing for a while.
One hour remained until Spider-Man's one-month survival goal.
Clark glanced at the time, a strange glint in his cloudy eyes.
Once Charlie completed his mission, he'd be free.
Outside the barn, Charlie's clone was also counting down.
The real body was monitored by the Omega Beams, but the clone wasn't.
So this drama was Darkseid's solo celebration.
But the heavens are unpredictable, and the show hit a snag.
Beep beep~
Clark's phone buzzed with a strange message, snapping him out of his acting mood.
"Crap, Lois has been kidnapped."
He called Charlie immediately.
"Hey, it's me. Where's Lois?"
Atop the Empire State Building, ready for the final moment, Charlie frowned.
"She's not with me."
"She's been kidnapped."
"Hm?"
Charlie frowned. Darkseid?
No, if it was him, the Omega Beams would've taken Charlie out first.
So who? "Don't worry, I'll find her."
Charlie formed hand seals, sensing Lois's location.
"Got her. She's on Liberty Island."
"I'm heading there."
Clark hung up and moved out. Charlie opened a portal without hesitation.
Though it was best to avoid trouble in the final hour, Lois and Clark had helped him a lot. Now wasn't the time to weigh pros and cons.
Spider-Man's got loyalty! HUMM~
Charlie arrived at Liberty Island.
The Statue of Liberty held her torch high, and atop it, a terrified Lois clung to it, trembling, at risk of being blown off by the fierce winds.
Seeing Charlie arrive first, Lois shouted, "Be careful!!"
"Too late."
A creepy laugh echoed from all directions, making Charlie dizzy.
He shook his head, finding himself in a ruined city.
Smoke filled the air, the Empire State Building was sliced in half, and collapsed buildings buried countless bodies.
The sky was gray, steeped in death and despair.
The Statue of Liberty's head was broken off, its torch replaced with an ugly Joker mask.
This kind of prank… Charlie frowned. It couldn't be that guy, right? But with that guy's power, he couldn't possibly shift Charlie to another world instantly.
Less than an hour remained. He could handle this clown.
Charlie formed hand seals, golden webbing blooming brightly in the sky.
As the totem power spread, endless black clouds surged, swallowing the webbing and isolating the totem power with a strange force.
The eerie laugh returned, making Charlie increasingly agitated.
"Jumping clown, show yourself!"
He raised a hand, unleashing the twelve talismans and Eight Immortals' artifacts, determined to pierce this world.
But bizarrely, after the totem power, the talismans and artifacts vanished seconds later.
As if teleported away.
Charlie's face darkened.
He'd dealt with Doctor Doom and Darkseid, only for a weirder guy to show up.
Would Spider-Man ever catch a break?!
Maybe from the start, Spider-Man's real crisis wasn't Darkseid…