I'm Wanda Wilson, a renowned elite nerd girl.
Due to an accident during a science experiment, I unexpectedly gained super unexpected powers, acquired an immortal body, and embarked on the totally unsurprising path of a superhero.
Yep, in this world, the first thing you do after getting powers is follow the trend and become a superhero like Spider-Man.
Spider-Man's my idol. I'm obsessed with him.
But I didn't smoothly become a superhero. S.H.I.E.L.D. rejected my application.
Plenty of powered folks like me got rejected too. Some joined evil organizations, others kept working to feed their kids.
Me? I'm different.
Unable to join the Avengers, I went solo!
I fought crime, earning the nickname Deadpool.
I also had a little goal.
Get close to Spider-Man. Win Spider-Man!
To that end, I burned off excess fat. My immortal body gave me a killer figure in a day.
As for my disfigurement from the lab accident… I joined a mysterious group. Their divine leader restored my face.
The price? Do her bidding, though she never specified what.
Whatever. My wish was half-fulfilled.
I could start my plan.
I tried, failed, but never gave up.
At this Deadpool rave, we went to an unknown universe to help Spider-Man win a match.
I returned from that weird void world, but something strange happened.
My memories got scrambled.
I remember Spider-Man's name is Charlie Parker, a young, hot, fit elite guy.
But I can't recall his face.
No, who's Charlie Parker?
I don't care. I want Spider-Man!
Spider-Man?
Damn it, I almost had him, but it feels like a dream.
What did I dream?
Crap, I forgot something.
No, I remember.
No, I forgot again.
Outside my apartment, ready to "go to work," Lady Deadpool clutched her head, freaking out. "No!! Damn brain, I wanna chop you off!!"
Two passersby eyed the seemingly crazed, sexy woman, shaking their heads.
"Such a shame, so young and nuts."
"Send her to the asylum?"
"I think she should come to my place."
"Sounds reasonable."
The two shady guys exchanged excited looks.
Before they could act, a scream came from above.
"Get~ out~ of~ the~ way~"
"What?"
They looked up, only to be flattened by a red-and-blue figure crashing down.
BOOM!!
The ground shook, blood splattering Lady Deadpool's delicate face.
The warm blood calmed her.
Her unique way of chilling out.
She turned slowly, eyes sparkling.
"Spider-Man!!"
Lady Deadpool beamed.
Charlie, standing, eyed the crushed workers, glancing around guiltily.
"Good, no witnesses. Not my problem."
He patted his chest, then greeted Lady Deadpool.
"Hey, how's it going?"
"You talking to me?"
Her first "chat" with Spider-Man, Lady Deadpool was thrilled, blushing, her eyes mixing anticipation, shyness, and raw desire, as if she'd pounce on him.
Sensing her vibe, Charlie stepped back.
"Whoa, you… don't get crazy. I'll punch you."
He raised a fist, but his flickering powers made him uneasy.
Maybe because of Arion, this world was weird.
His powers cutting out was one thing. Another…
Before he could think, Lady Deadpool licked her lips, tied up her hair, and sauntered toward him with a seductive strut.
Charlie hallucinated.
"Motherf—! Why are there pink bubbles everywhere?!"
He cursed, bolting.
Lady Deadpool, no longer hiding her hunger, chased him like a demon baring claws.
"Hahaha, Spider-Man, don't run! Let me sniff you!!"
"Stay back!!"
The busy street turned bizarre.
"Oh my gosh, it's Spider-Man!"
Charlie's screams drew attention.
Onlookers stared at the chased Spider-Man, their looks odd.
"Must be a Spider-Man fan."
"Yeah, a cosplayer getting chased by his girlfriend."
"Poor guy."
"I told you that scene's messy, but you didn't believe me."
"His girlfriend must've found something."
Amid the crowd, Eddie, heading to work, saw this and got inspired, filming with his phone.
"Oh my gosh, we're witnessing a Spider-Man impersonator being chased! See that woman? Her laugh's terrifying—she wants to eat him!
Oh man! Invincible Spider-Man, use your webs!
Such a shame, he's a fake, can't—"
Mid-sentence, Charlie sensed something, leaping skyward, shooting spatial webs to swing between buildings, escaping Lady Deadpool.
"It's Spider-Man!!"
Eddie's shout snapped the crowd back.
"What just happened?"
"The Invincible Spider-Man's a god of Earth—how's he so pathetic?"
"God of Earth? What's that?"
"I forgot again."
The crowd froze. Lady Deadpool gasped.
"Charlie Parker… no, who's Charlie Parker?"
…
Meanwhile, near an overpass residential building.
Horns blared. Charlie landed on a rooftop, exhausted, stumbling into a water tank.
BOOM!
Splash!
Water sprayed. Slumped by the tank, Charlie wiped water from his mask.
His powers failed again, but his Spider-Man physique kept him from splatting.
"What's going on?"
His eyes glowed blue, accessing a virtual computer to message Carter.
BOOM!
A craft landed. A familiar figure appeared.
"Wow, nice makeup today."
Seeing Carter dolled up for him, Charlie gave a thumbs-up, clutching his side and leaning on her shoulder. "Help me, I'm beat."
"You?"
Carter, startled by Spider-Man's familiarity, stiffened but supported him.
"Spider-Man, you joining us?" she asked eagerly.
"What?"
Charlie paused, eyeing the nervous Carter, realizing something.
"No way."
He facepalmed. "Captain Carter, if everyone forgot me, you shouldn't have forgotten that."
Carter, frozen by Hydra, fought with him in the Resurrection Match. She shouldn't forget Spider-Man's identity like others.
Her brow furrowed. "Spider-Man, I don't know what you're talking about."
"I—"
Charlie was speechless, but his pain faded—his powers were back.
Carter's eyes lit up.
"Charlie, welcome back."
She dropped her aloofness, hugging him.
Three seconds later, she shoved him away.
"Spider-Man, what did you do to me?" She glared, ready to bash him with her shield.
Charlie: "…"
He slapped his forehead.
"I get it now."
He stomped, roaring skyward.
"What a mess!!"
When his powers returned, Carter and others regained memories of Charlie.
Without powers, they remembered Spider-Man but forgot Charlie was him.
Or maybe, when Carter and others remembered, his powers returned.
Maybe a side effect of Arion devouring spacetime.
It didn't just consume spacetime but also human memories tied to it.
Why memories returned, Charlie wasn't sure.
This shelved his plan to hit Universe 001.
Head aching, he looked at Carter seriously, trying to jog her memory.
"Dear Captain Carter, don't you remember? I helped you get promoted, crushing Fury to become S.H.I.E.L.D.'s top dog."
"No way."
Carter's face was cold. "Nick Fury's still director. You know what you're saying?"
"I said I'm your promotion ticket—wait, Fury's director again?"
Charlie felt drained of all strength.
Slumping by the tank, he muttered, "Back to square one."
Carter's frown eased, looking at him oddly.
"What's wrong? Hurry back, everyone's waiting."
"No need. I'll handle this myself."
Charlie left.
He knew Carter's memory was back, but it wouldn't last.
Instead of explaining, he'd rather chill alone.
Home first.
Aunt May and Uncle Ben wouldn't "glitch."
In the elevator, a suited man looked surprised.
"Damn, I pressed the wrong—oh my gosh, Spider-Man?"
Seeing the battered Spider-Man, he stepped aside.
Charlie entered, standing shoulder-to-shoulder.
Déjà vu.
Yeah, same guy as last time.
What a coincidence.
The elevator climbed silently.
Finally, the man broke the awkwardness.
"Nice suit," he said.
Charlie wiped water from his mask. "Yeah, nanometal with vibranium and Asgardian metal. Pricey."
The man blinked. "I don't get it."
"That's good."
The elevator opened. Charlie rushed out, vanishing.
The man glanced at the water puddle, remembering something.
"My God! It's him, from the elevator—"
…
Blake Street.
In casual clothes, Charlie walked the familiar street.
Every blade of grass, every tree, so nostalgic.
And the beautiful girl next door—prettier now.
"Hey, Charlie, I got a job! Celebrate tonight?"
Mary Jane opened her window, proudly showing off.
She pointed to her S.H.I.E.L.D. badge. "It's got great prospects."
Charlie glanced, mouth twitching.
"Congrats."
"Thanks."
Mary Jane paused, dazed.
"Charlie, I feel like…"
Pink mist swirled. She appeared before him.
"I feel like…"
She trailed off, forgetting her thought.
Charlie helped. "You haven't treated me to dinner."
"Oh, damn, that's it! I've got a job now. I can support you."
Mary Jane proudly pulled out her wallet.
Charlie's eyelids drooped. "Let's talk later."
He brushed past her to the door. Mary Jane followed, confused.
"You seem upset."
"I'm not."
"You totally are."
"Fine, a little."
Charlie grabbed the key from under a flowerpot, opening the door, asking casually, "How'd you join S.H.I.E.L.D.?"
Mary Jane grinned. "I forgot. Probably just joined."
Charlie: "…"
"Senior agent?"
"Of course."
"Your power?"
"How'd you know I have powers?"
"Without powers, you'd need thirty years to make senior agent."
"You're smart. I do have powers."
Mary Jane raided the fridge, grabbing juice.
"My power's dream-walking. I can hypnotize anyone."
She poured Charlie juice, strolling into his bedroom.
Inside, one-year-old Kingpin was lifting weights.
Seeing her, he hid the dumbbell under his stroller, acting innocent, taking the bottle she offered.
"Good boy." Mary Jane patted his head.
Charlie, arms crossed at the door, asked, "Where'd your powers come from?"
Since Mary Jane got powers, he hadn't asked.
She turned. "Spider-Man saved me. For a while, my soul went somewhere weird. Another Spider-Man there wanted me to use this power to help Spider-Man."
She frowned, troubled. "But I don't know how. It's serious, but I can't remember." She scratched her head, embarrassed.
Charlie rolled his eyes. "You're hopeless."
"Where's Aunt May and Uncle Ben?"
"Work."
"Hell's Kitchen?"
"You knew?"
Mary Jane hesitated. "They didn't hide it. Spider-Man asked them to reform Kingpin's crew. They couldn't say no."
Charlie shook his head. "I'm not mad."
Before turning, Mary Jane yanked his waistband.
"Jerk, gone so long, were you with Gwen?"
Her voice was angry. Charlie's face darkened.
"Are you nuts?!"
He clutched his head, wailing, as Mary Jane nagged.
Baby Kingpin buried his head in the stroller.
Women are scary.
Soon, Mary Jane calmed.
"What did I do?"
Covering her lips, she saw Charlie's torn clothes, giggling. "If you want, I'm not opposed…"
"Get lost!"
Charlie kicked her out, tossing baby Kingpin with her.
"What a mess!!"
His roar echoed. Mary Jane, rubbing her backside, muttered, "Clueless about women, but I like it."
She dialed her phone.
"Harry, it's me. Charlie's back. I'll bring him to the party tonight."
Knocking, she said, "Party tonight. I'll introduce my friend, your senior. Dress sharp—no, you've got no good clothes. I'll buy you some—"
Mary Jane left. Charlie opened the door, looking defeated.
Being forgotten wasn't so bad.
But people randomly regaining memories and harassing him?
He'd go schizophrenic.
He considered hiding in another universe, but with portals down, he'd take it step by step.
Sighing, he shut the door.
Over time, Charlie adjusted to his flickering powers.
Without powers, his evolved spider totem still worked.
If he met Inheritors, he wouldn't die easily.
Otherwise, he'd rely on his strong arms, stellar physique, Spider-Man's charm, and dashing looks.
Figuring this out, Charlie dozed off.
If he's occasionally forgotten, it's a vacation.
A little break.
He woke at 9 p.m.
Knock knock knock!
Mary Jane called, "You ready? We're late."
"Coming."
Charlie didn't skip the party.
Getting up, he opened the door, seeing Gwen behind Mary Jane.
"Hi, I'm Gwen, Gwen Stacy. Have we met?" Gwen greeted.
Charlie: "…"
"Nope, never. That pickup line's outdated."
He turned to the bathroom.
I, Spider-Man, the sigma male!
Then, from the bathroom, his roar.
"Mary Jane, get out!"
"Fine, I'm going. Why so mad?"
"Out!"
"I know."