BOOM!
The red-and-blue figure crashed to the ground, cracking the floor and sending debris flying.
At the same time, the gloomy sky lit up as the underside of the spaceship unleashed a barrage of laser beams, enveloping Charlie's figure.
BOOM BOOM BOOM!!
Instantly, a massive explosion swallowed Charlie, scorching shockwaves sweeping outward, prompting screams from fleeing students.
Seeing this, Doctor Octopus and the others hurriedly retreated.
"Why are you running?" Mysterio shouted.
Doctor Octopus pointed at the spaceship. "That thing looks dangerous."
"Idiots, those are just regular bombs disguised as lasers."
"What?"
The Sinister Six paused, then saw a terrifying burst of dazzling magical energy erupt from the flames.
"Die!!"
Fueled by rage, Charlie shot out like a cannonball, piercing through Sandman's body and heading straight for Mysterio on the rooftop.
"No, stop him!!"
Mysterio, panicked, scattered hallucinogenic mist to disrupt Charlie's Spider-Sense.
But Charlie's target wasn't him—it was the building beneath.
The lecture hall was empty, and Mysterio, always manipulating illusions, wouldn't stray far.
Whether the Mysterio before him was a phantom or not, Charlie just needed to destroy the entire building.
Dazzling magical energy slammed into the structure, a spider totem exploding on impact, shattering the load-bearing walls.
Crack crack crack
BOOM!!
In the horrified gazes of Doctor Octopus and the others, the building went from teetering to collapsing in three seconds.
"No!!"
BOOM!!
Mysterio's scream cut off as the building caved in, kicking up a storm of dust and debris.
Before the dust could reach the remaining villains, the massive Sandman unleashed a terrifying suction force, absorbing the spreading dust into his body, swelling to thirty meters tall.
"Spider-Man, DIE!!"
The giant raised a palm, stirring a sandstorm laced with debris and bricks, intent on crushing Charlie.
Charlie ignored the descending hand.
Zzzzt…
Switching to arc form, he slithered past the giant palm, closing in on Doctor Octopus in an instant.
"What?"
Doctor Octopus's face fell, his four tendrils scrambling to block the arc.
Zzzzt…
BOOM!!
The arc wove through the tendrils, slamming Doctor Octopus into the rubble.
"Sh*t!"
"What are you doing? All together!"
"Kill Spider-Man!"
Vulture, Lizard, Chameleon, and a humanoid Scorpion pounced, attacking Charlie in unison.
Meanwhile, in the rubble, a trembling hand in a red glove emerged, flipping an insulting gesture.
"Wade-fuck!"
Crack crack…
Debris shifted, and a red figure with twin katanas climbed out.
He hopped a few times, shaking off dust.
"School's getting demolished—great news."
He kicked into the rubble, his foot sinking into a cracked glass orb.
Crack~
Wade: "…"
"Oh, sh*t, my poor little toe."
Mimicking Michael Jackson with a flashy kick, the embedded shard flew out.
"Wow, cool!"
He glanced at the chaotic battle, then pulled a phone from his pants.
Aiming the camera at his face, with Spider-Man and the villains fighting in the background, he began, "Hey, evening, folks—no, afternoon! I'm your pal, call me the Deathless Waiter, but I prefer you lovingly call me the Captain of the X-Force."
As he spoke, debris flew from the battle, and Wade shielded his phone.
Pfft pfft pfft
Shards sliced through him, but he resumed recording.
"Hey, minor hiccup, but we're good now."
He pulled a bloody shard from his backside.
"Yay! Just a small issue, no worries. You know this won't affect my love for you all."
"Alright, intro done. We're witnessing this world's Spider-Man battling villains. Wow, it's thrilling. Last time I got this pumped was in a bar bathroom—some chick named Jenny took me to cloud nine. No, no, Jenny, not Jenni—that guy's already chopped up. Wanna see his corpse? Look, there's Jenni—oh, sorry, my phone auto-censors him with a mosaic…"
Wade hopped off the rubble, scratching his head.
"Weird, how do I know that guy's Jenni? Whatever, frontline heroes don't sweat logic."
BOOM!!
The rubble shook as Chameleon lay in a pit, coughing blood.
Wade jumped in, aiming his camera at him.
"Can I interview you?"
Chameleon: "…"
"No answer means yes."
Wade grabbed Chameleon's head for a selfie, then said, "My fans wanna know what beef you've got with Spider-Man. But I don't care about that. So, what'd you have for breakfast? If you ate, why can't you beat a bug? If you didn't, why aren't you starved to death? Okay, you're silent, so no breakfast. No-breakfast guys die eventually, and so will you."
Wade stomped Chameleon's throat, drawing a katana.
"Fans, next up is restricted content—not for kids!"
Pfft!
The screen blacked out briefly, then returned.
"We dodged the censors! You're probably wondering why I killed him. Come on, I'm a superhero, a frontline hero—this is standard. Hey, look, a tendril's coming! Let's hide, then I'll grab it. Awesome, I got it! Heard its protein's six times that of beef… Pfft pfft, ugh, motor oil. It's metal! No worries, I can taste the brand. Next time, we'll BBQ with this oil."
Wade hopped over Doctor Octopus's body.
"Sorry for the gross sight, but no biggie. Next, we see… Oh my God! What's that? A meteor? No, Spider-Man!"
BOOM!!
Another explosion. Wade dove, protecting his phone.
Soon, the shockwave passed.
"Hey, I'm fine—surprised?"
Wade aimed the camera at the crater.
"That bald bird's finally dead. I hate bald guys. And that scorpion—look how funny he died, butt blasted in half, haha, kills me. Okay, folks, not that funny."
Wade navigated the battlefield as red-and-blue magic erupted again, sand turning into a sea. He swam through it with flair.
"Oh, you won't guess what I'm doing. Yup, fake swimming—my feet are on the ground. No!! A fist in the sand, huge, huge—too bad it's followed by a guy's pecs. You know I'm not into that."
Wade leaped onto Sandman's chest, poking his pecs.
"Feels meh. Don't try this at home because—"
Sandman's angry palm slammed down.
BOOM!!
Bang!
Wade crashed, his twisted body rising like a zombie.
"You saw why."
He shrugged, pocketing his phone, then dodged a falling sand foot with a slide.
BOOM~~
Debris flew, and Wade slid into a rubble crevice.
"Dark in here, like I'm in the DC Universe—kidding, it's the Spider-Man Central Universe."
He aimed the camera at the battlefield.
"Oh my gosh, that big guy's unkillable. I'm almost touched, reminds me of my pal Wolverine—immortality's a curse. Wait, what's with this water? I'm hyped—no, no, Spider-Man broke an underground pipe, and the big guy's washed away. Shame, I take back my tears."
Wade shook his phone as it blacked out.
"Should've spent three hundred bucks on a waterproof one."
He poked his head out, spotting Spider-Man, and waved.
"Hey, Spider-Man, I'm Batman. Heard of the Dark Knight?"
Charlie: "…"
"I've only heard of Green Lantern." He brushed sand off his shoulder.
Wade laughed, hands on hips. "Hahaha, I blew up the guy who played Green Lantern. You wouldn't get how awesome that felt…"
Wade rambled, and Charlie facepalmed.
He'd finally met his match in verbosity.
Ignoring Deadpool, he tapped his wrist device.
"How's it going?" he asked.
On the other end, Carter said, "Hell's Kitchen's safe for now. No one knows Ben and May's real identities."
Charlie sighed in relief.
Even with restarts, watching loved ones die was awful.
"Good. Tell Harry we'll meet in Hell's Kitchen."
"Harry's dead. I saw it."
Carter didn't speak. A familiar voice came from behind Charlie.
Turning, he saw Lizard Parker staring at Gwen's body, lost.
"Peter?" Charlie blinked. "You died again?"
Lizard Parker snapped back, eyeing the Sinister Six's corpses in the rubble, sighing.
"Last Revival Race, you forgot to take these guys out. They came for Gwen again, and I tried to save her…"
Lizard Parker trailed off as Wade pulled a handkerchief from his pants, wiping tears.
"Boo-hoo, so touching, I wanna cry. It's not a crime for a man to cry—a frontline hero has a soft heart."
Lizard Parker's face darkened. "Who's this guy?" he asked Charlie.
Charlie shrugged. "A loudmouth."
"No!"
Wade pointed at Charlie. "We've got matching suit colors! How can you say that? I'm here to help!"
Charlie waved him off, stepping back. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, but your suit's inspired by a ragdoll cat. Those black eye circles are sexy. Care to tell me how you got here?"
Wade touched his eye circles. "Finally, someone gets it."
Moved, he opened his arms to hug Charlie.
"When I first heard 'Spider-Man,' I knew you got me. To meet you, I licked that guy's toes. No need to be too touched."
He patted Charlie's back, his hand sliding lower, only to be kneed in the groin.
Oof!
Soul-deep pain made Wade kneel, wailing.
"Wade-fuck! How can you treat a frontline hero like this?!"
Lizard Parker, confused, asked Charlie, "What's he even saying?"
Charlie shrugged. "If I'm right… he's an idiot."
Lizard Parker nodded. "Same."
Wade: "…"
Whoosh
Green light streaked the sky, pumpkin bombs raining down.
"Spider-Man, your doomsday's here."
"It's Green Goblin!"
Lizard Parker frowned. "He was cured by Gwen. He shouldn't be here."
"It's this world's Green Goblin," Charlie explained, preparing to web the bombs away.
"Let me!"
Wade leaped up.
"Time to show real skill."
Zing!
He swung his katanas, slicing the pumpkin bombs with precision.
"Flash!"
Charlie grabbed Lizard Parker and fled.
Wade, midair, realized, "Sh*t, these aren't bullets…"
BOOM!!
A massive explosion engulfed the sky in flames, charred limbs scattering, a severed hand still flipping the bird.
Thud!
The hand hit the ground, and Norman laughed wildly.
"Hahaha, Spider-Man's finally dead."
Wade: "…"
His head shook, cursing at the sky.
"Fuck you, look closer! I'm Batman, you fake fan!"
Before Norman could react, an arc shot across the sky.
Zzzzt…
BOOM!
Green Goblin exploded midair, and Charlie landed.
"How'd Harry die?" he asked Lizard Parker.
Lizard Parker glanced at him.
"Spider-Man. A Spider-Man with three arms killed Harry."