LAN FENG
— ✦ —
After the meal, I stayed behind at the table, watching my gege from across the room as he argued—politely, of course—with the merchant at the counter. The merchant was insisting the meal was his treat, while Gege, ever the gentleman, stubbornly tried to pay his share. His voice was calm and gentle, never rising in irritation, yet firm enough to leave no doubt about his principles.
I barely registered their words. My attention was too wrapped around him—around the delicate slope of his shoulders beneath his robes, the elegance in the curve of his back, the refined way he tilted his chin when he spoke. The sight of him made something flutter in my chest, made it hard to breathe. His beauty wasn't just in his face—it was in how he moved, how he carried himself. Everything about him stirred something in me that was far from brotherly devotion.
And then, of course… there was the other problem.
That damned thing between my legs.
It had a will of its own and always seemed to react when I stared at him too long. I tried to adjust my posture discreetly under the table, hoping the loose folds of my robe would hide the evidence. Standing up now would only invite embarrassment. Why did the heavens curse me with something I couldn't control?
Just then, someone sat beside me. I startled slightly, tearing my eyes away from Gege. It was another merchant—an older man with a round face and a knowing smirk.
"I've noticed you've been staring at Priest Luo for quite a while now," he said, his tone light with teasing amusement.
Heat rushed to my cheeks as I quickly looked away. "I was just… looking."
He chuckled. "Son, I know that look. You're not just looking. You like him."
I turned to him, wide-eyed. If he'd already noticed, what was the point in hiding it? "Is it really that obvious?"
The man laughed again. "With how you're ogling him like he's made of gold? Yes, very."
I couldn't help but smile sheepishly, scratching the back of my neck. "I can't help it. He's just… so beautiful."
"Indeed he is," the merchant said, nodding in agreement. "So tell me—are the two of you… together?"
I shook my head, my smile fading slightly. "No. He doesn't know I like him. If I told him, he might get angry."
The merchant raised a brow, giving me a once-over. "With a face like yours, and those eyes? You're afraid he'd reject you?"
"He's a priest," I said softly. "He follows the righteous path. He's the type to uphold rules and doctrines—even ones about love. Loving another man… that's not something he'd ever allow himself to accept. Especially not from someone like me."
"So what do you plan to do?" the man asked, folding his arms thoughtfully. "Just keep staring at him forever?"
I let out a breath and laughed, though the sound came out more wistful than amused. "Actually… I've been planning to propose to him. When we get back to Hanyue."
The merchant blinked. "Propose?"
I nodded. "I don't know if he'll accept. Maybe he'll turn me down. But like you said, I can't just keep staring and doing nothing. I have to try, even if it means getting rejected."
The man looked at me with something like admiration in his eyes. "That's brave of you, lad. It takes courage to love someone you're not sure you can have." Then he leaned in slightly, grinning like a man about to share a secret. "And if he does say yes… I've got something that might help you on your wedding night."
I blinked, suspicious. "What is it?"
He glanced around furtively, as if expecting a spy to leap from behind a teapot. Then, with the dramatic flair of someone revealing a national secret, he pulled something from under his sleeve. A small, exquisitely carved white jade bottle shimmered in the light, its surface lined with delicate golden inlays.
"Ever seen one of these?" he asked in a hushed, conspiratorial tone.
I leaned in to read the etched characters. "Heavenly Glide Elixir," I read aloud.
"Shhh!" He waved his hands in panic, eyes darting left and right. "Don't say it so loud! This is a very sensitive object."
"Oh." I lowered my voice and blinked at the bottle. "What does it do?"
"You mean you don't know?" He gave me a knowing look and cleared his throat with exaggerated solemnity. "Let's just say… it's essential for the wedding night."
My cheeks burned instantly. "O-oh. That?"
He nodded sagely. "That. You do plan to consummate your bond after marrying, don't you?"
I nodded, eyes wide. "I mean, yes. That's part of it."
"Well then," he said, inching closer like a hawker with forbidden goods. "Let me ask you something. Have you ever… done it?"
I squirmed in my seat. "No. But I've read scrolls and diagrams. I understand the basic steps."
He chuckled. "Books don't prepare you, son. Not when it's your first time and especially not when your partner looks like…" He subtly tilted his chin toward my gege, who was still at the counter, charming even the shopkeeper with his smile.
I sighed. "He's really beautiful, isn't he?"
"Exquisitely," the merchant agreed. "Delicate. Slender. Almost like a fairy who wandered into the mortal realm."
"He is," I mumbled, lovesick.
The merchant raised an eyebrow. "And if I may be so bold… you don't exactly look delicate."
"I'm from the Northern Empire," I said, smiling with a touch of pride. "We're built to endure winters and wars. My body… follows suit."
His grin turned wicked. "Exactly. So when your moment of bliss arrives, and you're all worked up, and he's lying beneath you, lovely and untouched—what then? Do you want to be the brute who makes him cry on his wedding night?"
My smile fell. "Never. I don't want to hurt him. I couldn't bear it."
He placed the jade bottle in my palm with reverence. "This elixir will ensure you don't. A single drop is all it takes. No pain. No discomfort. Just pleasure. He won't resist—you'll glide in like a swan over a lotus pond. Hence the name."
I held the bottle like it was made of dragon pearls. "Are you serious?"
"Absolutely. Even high immortals use this. It's a staple in every celestial wedding kit. And that's not all—this formula contains a touch of Love Root Extract. It'll awaken his senses, make him crave your touch. He'll cling to you, beg for more, call your name like a chant."
My jaw went slack. I was beginning to imagine it—his flushed face beneath me, the way he might moan my name…
No.
I slapped myself mentally before I got carried away. Something was already stirring between my legs again, and I couldn't let my fantasies make things worse.
"How much?" I asked, cradling the bottle like it was an egg of the phoenix.
The merchant gave a dramatic sigh. "It's rare. Only fifty are made a year. Expensive beyond belief. Reserved for royals and nobles. But…"
I perked up.
"…if you do me a tiny little favor," he said, leaning in close enough for me to smell his peppermint breath, "it's yours. For free."
"What favor?" I whispered, thoroughly hooked.
"Convince your darling Priest Luo to escort us to Yueping. That's all. One week's journey. Protect us from bandits. Keep our wares and lives safe."
I gasped, clutching the bottle tighter. "That's it?"
"That's it. My word is gold. Seal the deal, and that heavenly night will be yours."
I beamed. "It's a deal."
He extended his pinky with a smirk. "Swear it like a lover's vow."
I linked my pinky with his, the jade bottle glinting between us.
He winked. "Good luck, future groom."
"Feng'er?"
Gege's voice startled me so badly I nearly tumbled off the bench. I snapped my head up, heart racing, only to see him already striding toward me.
In a panic, I shoved the jade bottle back into the merchant's hand, who, to his credit, slipped away as smoothly as a shadow.
Gege stopped in front of me, arms crossed, his gaze sharp and disapproving—like a teacher catching a student with contraband under the desk. "What were you two whispering about?"
I quickly shook my head, trying to look innocent. "We were just talking."
His eyes narrowed. That look meant don't you dare lie to me, Feng'er.
I gulped. "He was selling me something. But I didn't buy it."
He held my gaze for a few more seconds, like he was trying to read the truth off my forehead. Finally, he sighed, seeming to accept it. "Let's go."
He turned on his heel, and I scrambled up to follow. As we stepped outside, the afternoon sun hit us like a warm slap. I hurried after him.
"Gege," I called, catching up.
He stopped but didn't look back. "What is it?"
I moved in front of him, forcing him to face me. "Don't you think we're being a little selfish?" I asked gently. "These people need help. They're not warriors. They're merchants. Their whole livelihood is packed in those wagons. If bandits attack, and we're not there to help..."
He sighed, the familiar crease forming between his brows. "Feng'er, I'm not trying to be heartless. I'm trying to protect you. Just the two of us, on foot, we can stay under the radar. With a caravan, we'll be a beacon for every rogue in the region. It could turn into a massacre."
"Gege, you worry too much," I said with a grin. "I'm not made of glass. Didn't I punch that Shuiyan right in the face? I can help."
He hesitated. I could see it—the inner battle waging behind his eyes. His conscience was winning, slowly dragging him back from the edge of refusal.
"Alright," he relented, rubbing his temple. "But only if you stay inside the carriage the whole time."
"What about you?" I asked.
"I'll ride ahead on horseback," he said. "I need to stay on lookout. If anyone's going to take a hit, it'll be me, not you."
I frowned. "Can't I ride with you instead?"
He shot me a stern look. "No. Outside is dangerous. And I mean it, Feng'er. If you don't agree, we're walking away from this job."
I nodded quickly before he changed his mind. "I'll do whatever Gege says."
He exhaled, tapping my shoulder gently. "I'll go speak with Su Mingzhi."
As he walked off, I turned to find the elixir merchant watching from across the tea shop with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. I gave him a quick thumbs up. He returned it with a sly grin and a nod, like we'd just sealed the most sacred of wedding contracts.
While Gege spoke with the merchant leader, I leaned back against a post and let my mind wander.
Our wedding night...
My imagination conjured vivid images—my gege lying beneath me, robes parted, cheeks flushed, his lips parted in soft moans as he reached for me. The soft glow of lantern light casting golden shadows over his skin. The jade bottle in my hand, a promise of heaven. The feeling of being joined with him, not just in body, but in soul—
I snapped out of the thought with a curse as something stirred far too eagerly between my legs.
"Not now," I hissed to myself, crossing my arms in front of my lap as casually as I could.
That damned merchant. That bottle. That blasted imagination.
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, repeating to myself: Stay calm. Think of something boring. Like vegetables. Cold rain. Rotten tofu.
It barely worked.
I just hoped the next town would have a cold bathhouse. Or failing that, an ice bucket.