"Doffy-O-Doffy, what's wrong? You seem a bit distant." Ootaea's voice brought me back to my senses.
We were sitting at a table in a small cafe, I was drinking coffee and she was munching on a sandwich.
It was a nice atmosphere, but I couldn't help but think about that place, the orphanage.
"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking." Not thinking much of it, I continued to sip on the coffee.
"Thinking about what, hmm? About how I look really pretty today? Or maybe about how much you wanna hug me!" Ootaea said with a smirk, as if she was trying to get a reaction out of me.
"Yeah, that's it, you got me." I sarcastically replied, hoping she'd take that as a joke, but she seemed to be serious.
"Oh... Umm... Uh, Doffy-O-Doffy, that's a little... weird to say." Her face went a little red.
"Wait, you thought I was being serious?" I questioned, confused as to how she didn't realize it was a joke.
"No, no, no! Of course not! I was just... Playing along!" Her voice was a little higher than usual and she was clearly trying to cover something up. It was hilarious to me that she thought that I was serious. But I was more surprised that she didn't realize it was a joke. It was pretty obvious, I would think.
"Riiight, suuuure." I smirked, I was having fun teasing her, it was a welcome distraction from the other thoughts that were plaguing my mind.
"Shut up! Don't be mean to me, you're supposed to be the nice and understanding type, aren't you?!" She said, her tone was that of a pouting child.
"Alright, alright. I'll try to be nicer." I laughed, enjoying the banter with Ootaea, it made me feel a little bit happier and a lot less worried. It was comforting to know that someone cared for me, or at least, someone that I thought cared.
"But man, the western town, Point B, really is a peaceful place. I've always wanted to come back to Ploesia, just to see how it was doing... I guess I didn't need to be worried after all! Plus, the food and drinks here are... Just... So damn good!" She took a sip of her drink and then continued, "So Doffy-O-Doffy, what are you gonna do when you get home?"
"Well, I'll go back to my apartment, have a nice shower, and stay in bed all day while listening to the people walk outside. And if it rains I could listen to the rain, it's great background noise." I replied, not really thinking much about it.
"Oh... That sounds kinda depressing, don't you ever like, go out and do stuff?" Ootaea asked.
"I've been working my ass off in the ADF for the past... few days. I'm not quite the most outdoor-sy person anyways, so that's not really my thing. I'm more of an indoor kind of guy. I like staying on my computer a bunch." I said, but I wasn't sure if that was a very appealing answer. It sounded like a boring lifestyle, which is probably why she asked in the first place.
"Oh... That sounds kinda sad, though. Don't be too down in the dumps, okay, Doffy-O-Doffy?" She said, and I wasn't sure if she meant it as a way to cheer me up or if she was genuinely concerned. "I know you're probably sad about your wife and everything but... Nah, nevermind." Proceeding to take another sip of her drink, she looked out the window, as if she was deep in thought.
"No, go on, what were you gonna say? I won't get mad or anything, I'm just curious." I didn't want to push her too much, but I also didn't want to let this opportunity slip by.
"W-well... I'm just gonna say that... Maybe she's in a better place now, you know? Things happen... And we can't do anything to stop it." She was clearly trying to comfort me. But I couldn't shake the feeling that she was just saying that because she felt that's what she needed to say.
"Maybe, who knows? I'm not really the religious type." I replied, still not believing that Alice would just go off and leave this world so easily.
"Hey, don't say that! I'm not really religious either, but I think that there's something good for us in store after this life!" Her trying to cheer me up was quite heartwarming, but I didn't know how to react to it. Frankly, I wasn't one to believe in any sort of afterlife, but I didn't want to ruin her mood. I'll play along, for now.
"I guess you're right, I just don't know how to believe that there's something out there that can save us from death." I said, not really trying to sugarcoat my thoughts.
"Well, I don't really know what to say... I guess I just have faith, you know? I believe in a lot of things that can't be seen. Like the wind, or the stars, or the love between two people..." Her voice trailed off.
"That's... interesting." I said, not knowing how to really respond to all of that.
"Or the love between three people... No, hold on, that's borderline illegal, isn't it? You know, I've never really thought about that stuff. I just... I guess I'm not really sure what I'm getting at." She seemed lost in thought, and I could tell that she was trying to figure out her own words and thoughts after relaying them to me. She really doesn't think things through before saying them, does she?
"Do you even know how relationships work? Do you even have any experience in that kind of stuff?" I asked, not really knowing if I wanted to hear the answer or not.
"Well, I'm a girl. Of course, I have experience with that kind stuff! When I was in school, I got a lot of boys asking me out..." Though her words said 'confidence', her tone said otherwise.
"Really? And what happened then?" I asked, curious as to how she would reply.
"They were all boring, so I rejected them..."
"So you don't have any experience, then." I chuckled, not expecting that kind of response from her. She's the type of person to get embarrassed by the littlest things... It's quite cute, really.
"I do! I've kissed a boy before, as a dare!" She said, her voice getting louder and her face turning red. "I'm not a child, I know how these things work!"
I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at her reaction. "Oh, sure. A dare counts, so was it on the lips or the cheeks?"
"...Cheeks."
"Right. So you've had no real experience then." I smirked, teasing her. "I guess that means you're a kid, right? You've never even had a boyfriend."
"Shut up! I'm not a kid! I've had plenty of boyfriends! They've just... Only lasted a day or two!" She exclaimed. It was almost funny how much she was trying to convince me that she wasn't a kid.
"Right, so... No experience then." I said, finding this whole conversation quite amusing.
"Whatever, I'm not gonna talk to you for the rest of today!" She turned her head away from me and started to sulk. Her childishness made the whole situation more hilarious than it should have been.
"Hey, hey. Don't be like that. I was just joking." I chuckled, trying to calm her down, but she kept her head turned away.
"Nope. Doffy is on my bad side now. I don't talk to people on my bad side!" Although she didn't seem serious, I took it as a warning, and tried to change the topic.
"Alright, what about... You know, that one kid you were friends with when you were in school, you know, that one... What was his name again?"
"...You mean Azer in the orphanage? How did you know about him?"
How did I know about him being her friend?
That didn't make sense... I only heard his name be uttered by that Pjon woman.
"I... Heard about him from that woman at the orphanage..." I replied, trying to make sense out of everything.
"Mrs. Pjon? But she doesn't know about our friendship. She doesn't know anything about me at all..." Ootaea's tone changed to that of confusion, which was understandable, seeing as how I just randomly brought up someone I shouldn't know about.
"Hm... Weird, I could have sworn I heard something. Maybe it was from somewhere else." I replied, not wanting to think too much about this. But my brain wouldn't let go of this haphazard of thoughts, perhaps it was some sort of memory I was missing, or a thought that wasn't really mine.
"Uhh... Yeah. Sure. But... What about him? Do you want to know more about him?" She said, clearly interested in the topic. As was I.
"Well, yeah, pretty much. That's why I'm asking, I'm curious about your relations as you grew up." Hoping she didn't see through the lies I was trying to hide, I spoke in a calm tone, trying to make her believe that I wasn't trying to hide something from her.
"Alright, well... We were best friends, though he was a little bit older than me. We always hung out together at the orphanage when I wasn't being bullied. We used to talk about how we would run the police together and become the countries' heroes, at the level of the Great Laz. Ah, and at times, when the other kids bullied me... He'd pick up a toy sword and act like he'd beat all of them up! But then they'd just beat him up until Mrs. Pjon would intervene... He had a lot of scars on his face, and his body was quite scrawny... He wasn't really all that good at fighting. I wonder if he's alright now..." Ootaea's face was filled with nostalgia, it was almost as if she was thinking about the good old days. I decided to not interrupt and let her finish her train of thought, "At times, we'd go to the far edge of town, near where the Blue Void is, and we'd watch it together for a few hours at a time. As kids, we were instructed to never go near it, but for some reason, Azer would always take me with him as we snuck out, and then he'd tell me about the stars and how they'd fall down within the Blue boundary. I couldn't quite see what he was talking about, but... I enjoyed listening to him narrate the story of the stars."
"Really? He saw things in the Blue Void too?" I asked, remembering the strange vision I had of Alice within the void.
"Hmm... Too? I guess that's another thing you two have in common, huh?" She smiled at me, and I couldn't help but return the gesture. "You know, Dofro, you're a lot like Azer in many ways." Though I wasn't quite sure about that, I didn't know the guy after all. "When we sat by the edge of town, he would occasionally tell me that he'd see God watch him through the horizons of the Blue Void. He would tell me about how he would hear god call him 'The greatest anomaly of them all', and about how the Blue Void itself would stare at him with the eyes of creatures made of nothing but flesh... I didn't understand what he meant at the time, but I came to figure that it was Amalgamates that he was seeing."
"Ah, that sounds like quite a lot to handle as a kid. So he was already seeing the creatures of the Blue Void despite never having experienced them? Sounds pretty odd." I replied.
"Yeah, and above all, he spoke to me of this justice of his, and how he admires the ADF even more than he does the police, and how the ADF are the greatest people to ever exist... As if they were heroes that could never fail at anything. That's why he wanted to join the ADF as soon as he turned 18, but now... I don't even know where he is, if he's still alive or in this town." Ootaea's voice was filled with hopelessness and sorrow, and it was clear that she missed Azer dearly. "But I just want to see him again... I want to hear him narrate stories to me about the outside world that he saw within the boundary, stories of a blue creature that would sing and dance to him, and stories of the dead that would walk and talk to him. Those were always my favorite..."
"You must have been really attached to him, right? I wish I could have seen you two as kids." I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, "Maybe my childhood would've been as bright as yours if I had you two."
"I guess so, yeah. We had a lot of fun together. And I don't think there'd be much difference, Dofro, I'm not sure if you'd like to hear this... But you two really are a lot alike." She laughed.
"But... how?" I asked, genuinely intrigued by how similar I was to this guy.
"Well, you both have a lot of mental scars that no one else can see, and you both have a strong sense of justice and duty to protect the innocent and weak, no matter the cost." Really? Was I someone who wanted to protect?
"No matter how I see it, all I have is a petty vengeance that is driving me to do what I'm doing now."
"You call that petty? Your wife died, dude. She was your everything, wasn't she?" She asked.
I couldn't say anything back, she was right. Alice was my everything, and I wasn't going to let that thought die out so easily.
"...You're right. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking before I spoke." I replied, not knowing how to answer that question. It felt like the world was closing in on me, like I was trapped in a corner, and I couldn't escape. I couldn't say anything, and I couldn't do anything. I felt like a rat in a cage.
"Hey, don't apologize, I'm not mad at you or anything, just keeping you in check, that's all!" She said, and I could see the light in her eyes fade away. I could see that she was sad, but she was doing her best not to let herself falter. "Say... What if I take you to the spot that me and Azer used to go to, would that cheer not only me, but you up! Seeing your similarities, you might also end up telling me the same things that he used to... After all, we have three days before we return to the ADF headquarters, what do you say?" Her voice was filled with hope and desperation, she was still trying her best to keep herself together.
"Alright, let's see what it's like." I said, not really wanting to go along with her plan, but not wanting to be a burden either. There's a chance it'll be another hallucination... That's the last thing I need right now.
"Yay! I'm so excited to take you there, you'll love it!" She exclaimed, her face filled with happiness and glee, as well as a need for a distraction from whatever was going on in her mind. "It's a bit of a long walk, but we'll get there soon!" She said, and she started to lead us away from the cafe.
We've already paid for our meals... Right!?