"So human… Does your planet have gambling?" Pipsquak asked one long afternoon. It had been awhile since the alien had actually done anything, mainly because she was busy watching T.V instead of her usual shenanigans.
"You have google. You know we have casinos 'n shit." Abi groaned, sitting up from the couch as she eyed around the living room for any sign of trouble that Her partner might have brought. It was only a matter of when.
The alien tried to casually bring up the topic, dragging her finger on one of the arm rests next to the muscular redhead. "Buuuut… I have no human money."
"Ask Pop. She's rich."
"I'm not asking that stuffed plush cow for money! I already owe her."
"For what?"
"I ate her hat."
"Yeah… What?" Despite her confusion, Abi knew that she wouldn't get a clear answer out of that thread and circled back as to why Pip was so desperate to gamble.
It turns out The Queen had a slight, really minor, definitely small major gambling addiction. It had been days since she'd taken part in any form of bet and it was driving her somewhat mad. Well, madder than usual.
"How the hell are you gambling in the first place?" Was Abi's first question. One that she quickly regretted asking.
"Well, I just make two worlds wipe each other out. Then crush the winners if they're boring."
Even though she should have seen that answer coming from a mile away, the redhead took pity on her and decided to try and help her partner for once.
Pip watched her girlfriend leave, soon coming back with a box of match sticks and tossing them to the alien. "Light two of them and see which one goes out first." It was a game she learnt from her mother, who also had a slight, really minor, definitely small major gambling problem.
She soon left Pip to her own devices and went in her room to watch something on her phone, thinking it wouldn't hurt to leave the green goof alone for a short while.
***
After the first set of matches flickered out and lightly burned the tips of her fingers, the queen let out an exasperated sigh and threw the match box away. "It's not as fun when lives aren't on the line. Not mine of course, but theirs… Oh my."
P'tra's gaze slowly trailed down her waist, her glowing neon pink eyes lighting up more than usual at the idea of using her ray to entertain herself after so long. It had been a whole month since she'd actually used it for herself.
A bit of self indulgence never hurt, did it?
With an excited kick in her step, P'tra rushed out the door in search of someone to tourt- Play with.
______
With the wind blowing through her hot pink hair, P'tra strolled down the highstreet with little care in her mind. Ever since her failed idol career, most people had assumed that Pip was in dress up for the fun of it.
It did make her happy knowing that she didn't have to hide her appearance, even if her skin was slightly translucent in the sun. Of course, she failed to ever notice this small detail about herself because in her own words "I failed biology".
Still, she had to keep focus. She was essentially going pet shopping, just… More sentient and screamy. But her mind began to wander at the word screamy, as her thoughts went onto creamy, then donuts, then a dozen.
And just like that, Pip was hungry.
In the blink of an eye, The Queen had already wandered into a nearby bakery. She had a tactic for getting what she wanted without trying. A genius one that…
She stole them.
Just walked right out with them. Mostly thanks to her natural psionic power, anyone who saw her with the dozen doughnuts simply forgot about her the second they broke eye contact.
But back to business…
Which was…
Uh…
"What was I doing out here?" P'tra muttered to herself as she scoffed down a doughnut, wiping the crumbs from her mouth as she wandered down the breaking pavement back to her home.
As she walked deeper and deeper into the woods that lead home, the sun was finally setting. TIme had always been a foreign concept to her. Her perception of time was so… Askew? "Is that the right term?"
Maybe she'd gone soft… Maybe her long absence of conquering had softened her… Maybe she'd finally lost her hard edge-
"Got you!" Pip jammed her hand into her own squishy head and yanked a squirming parasite from her core.
"I knew I wasn't going soft! HA… Although what does that say about my hygiene?" She chuckled, tossing the squirming worm on the ground and watching it try and wriggle away, each of its little grey tentacles flailing in the air.
It was clear it wasn't going to survive without intervention. But it did also cause her inactive idleness.
Raising her dark violet boot with a gleeful grin, she brought the full weight of her boot down onto the parasite. Though she didn't get the usual squelching sound she was used to. Rather a small thud.
"Riiiight…" She sighed, forgetting another fun quirk of her body, in that she had next to no actual body weight, even with the boots. It was a surprise she could actually rule with how little she actually understood.
But killing your way to the top did work out rather well.
With a few more heavy stomps on the tiny, screeching thing, it finally made a pop. Not what she expected, but that usually meant something was dead.
"Just to be safe."
Pip grabbed her ray and used it too bash the parasite flat before grinding her heel against it until all that was left was a small pile of grey ooze.
_______
Abi had been enjoying her solitude. A whole month of quiet silence and a lazy girlfriend meant she could finally catch up on work. Well, selling raid clears on MMOs counted as work to her. But she was suddenly dragged away from her desk by an unseen force.
Despite the surprise, Abi let out a tired sigh as she was dropped into bed with Pip. The alien's grin was as bright as her eyes as she stood up. Abi awkwardly gawked at her partner's curvaceous figure.
"What are you doing? I thought the matches would help with… Whatever is going on with you. Look, I get some people like gambling, but you can't play with human lives. It's just… Not… Uhm…"
Abi slowly trailed off at the sight of P'tra unzipping herself out of her skin tight suit. The Alien always knew how to stun her in the most varied of ways. "I have spent the last month in idle sloth for far too long. How about we actually do something?"
Abi nodded her head at P'tra's words, thought it was obvious she wasn't paying attention.
The night descended into a passionate fiesta of ungodly lust. And despite the two being very capable of describing the words of their night, neither wanted to ever talk about it.
So they didn't.
_______
The next morning, things returned to the usual status quo as Pip wandered into the living room with a new idea in mind. "Abigail. I've decided on what I want to do today!"
"Oh? Go on then." The human grumbled, browsing her usual social media platforms until she saw a strange ad. "No… Y-You're not serious?" She asked with a stunned look gaze, looking between her phone and Pip.
"That's right! I am officially selling my wonderful weaponry and technology for your pathetic little world!"