"You're kidding," Sakura said, aghast. She nibbled at her onigiri. "You really think Jiraiya-sama would campaign on that to get out of becoming Hokage? But… that's completely mad."
For her thirty-minute dinner recess, Sakura had chosen to join Naruto in a quiet corner of the new Bomb Crater Plaza, and since Sasuke was still blind, she had dragged him along with her.
Naruto nodded solemnly. "Pervy Sage would do anything to avoid being Hokage, ya know? He loves travelling more than anything… well, almost as much as peeping on the women's baths."
"It might backfire on him," Sasuke said dryly. "More male Jōnin than female."
Jealousy filled Naruto's heart as he watched Sakura gently poke Sasuke's cheek, prompting him to open his mouth so that she could feed him a bite-sized piece of onigiri, which was the emergency food that had been handed out for everybody.
"Say ahh, Sasuke," Naruto said dangerously, clenching his rice ball in his fist with malicious intent. "Here comes the birdie…"
Without warning, Naruto's arm shot out as he tried to cram the oversized lump of glutinous rice down Sasuke's throat. Almost as though his eyes were still working, Sasuke caught his wrist with blinding speed, and the onigiri went flying as their fingers locked in a desperate struggle for control.
"Don't waste food, boys," Sakura said obliviously. "Hmm… My thirty minutes are almost up, and I dunno what I should campaign on… Naruto, you must have given it some thought," she then added, almost as an afterthought. "What would you bring to the table if you were Hokage?"
Truthfully, Naruto hadn't really thought about it that deeply. More than anything, he wanted to become the Hokage to gain everyone's recognition, but after that? It was all a big blank.
"By the way," Sakura said hesitantly, "does it really not bother you that I might become Hokage? We're the same age, so it could be years before I step down… If I get the job, your dream might never come true, assuming I don't kick the bucket in the meantime… oh, would you quit it, you two!?"
Naruto and Sasuke reluctantly let go of each other and dusted stray grains of rice from their clothes.
"I think it's amazing that you wanna be Hokage too, Sakura-chan! I mean… our dreams are the same, that's gotta mean something, right? Like… almost like we were meant to be together, or something!" said Naruto, rubbing the underside of his nose in embarrassment. "But… y'know… to be honest," he added hesitantly, "I wasn't sure what to think of Sakura-chan as Hokage at first, but then I thought about why I really wanted to be one in the first place. I wanted to be Hokage to make everyone in the village notice me, but I've already got that, ya know? And even before that, I had you guys and Kakashi-sensei, and now I've even got my dad back too…"
A hint of sadness appeared in Naruto's smile.
"Honestly, it almost feels too good to be real, ya know?" he said wryly. "Like I'm gonna wake up one day and it'll all be gone…"
Sasuke grunted.
Before Tsunade's death, Naruto had never truly known loss. But now that he understood just how precious and fragile the people he loved were, the thought of losing them terrified him, and with the inevitability of all-out war in the coming days…
It was a brand‑new feeling for the young, happy-go-lucky teenager.
"Well, it's about time we went back," said Sakura as she stood and stretched her arms above her head, the motion making her chest jiggle as it rose. "See you in an hour, maybe?"
"Wait, I almost forgot!" Naruto exclaimed, slapping his forehead. He rummaged around in one of his pouches and produced what appeared to be a large piece of red cloth from a sealing scroll. "Jaja~n!" he said with a broad grin. "It's your very own Sage cloak! Pervy Sage had the toads make one for you too, since he wasn't sure if Shikkotsu Forest had that sort of tradition for its graduates, ya know!"
Sakura clapped her hands over her mouth in surprise. This was the fit— the one Naruto had been meant to wear when he fought Pain, and then promptly went on to never wear again! With this, the aura farming possibilities were endless! She could finally look both sexy and cool!
"I've got one too, see?" Naruto continued babbling, as he slipped on the crimson and black flame-patterned robes. "Put yours on too, and we'll match, ya know! Oh, but Pervy Sage wasn't sure about Shikkotsu Forest's colours, so they might not be right…"
"Red on red kinda clashes with my red outfit, but this'll pair really nicely with my white and pink dress!" Sakura squealed in happiness. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Naruto!"
"You're… welcome!" Naruto's muffled voice echoed from Sakura's cleavage as she pulled him into a hug. "Ugh. Can't. Breathe."
Sasuke couldn't see what was happening, but he had a fair idea. Gripped by jealousy, he pictured Naruto writhing in agony, rolling helplessly across the ground in a futile attempt to extinguish the inextinguishable black flames of the Amaterasu…
"Ah, we're going to be late!" Sakura blurted out. She reached out and grabbed Sasuke's wrist, pulling him along. "See you later, Naruto!"
…
By the time the thirty-minute recess had ended and she and Sasuke returned to the Jōnin Assembly Hall (provisional name), Sakura still hadn't come up with any good ideas… The best she had was following Lady Tsunade's playbook: heavy investment in the medical sector.
As she climbed on stage and joined the other candidates, which now included the seeded Jiraiya and Orochimaru, she couldn't help but feel self-conscious. She glanced at Mitokado Homura, who had taken Shikaku's place at the podium, since the Jōnin Commander had become a candidate as well.
"As is tradition, the Hokage's nominee speaks first," said Homura. "Jiraiya, if you would be so kind as to offer a few words on why you should become Hokage…"
Jiraiya took one step forwards… and without any warning, he leapt onto the podium, nearly scaring Homura to death. He whipped his long, spiky white hair in a frenzy, striking a kabuki pose.
"The one and only white-haired toad user, the Legendary Sannin, the Great Toad Sage, Heaven's Equal… Jiraiya-sama!" he exclaimed. "That's me!"
Sakura almost felt as though she could hear a crow flying overhead, calling, idiot, idiot, idiot…
"As for what you can expect from me, should you choose me to become the next Hokage… Well, maybe this'll give you an idea!" Jiraiya went on. "When I become Hokage… all kunoichi will be required to wear low-cut tops, push-up bras, and sexy miniskirts as part of their uniform! That is all."
The female Jōnin immediately began heckling Jiraiya as he jumped down from the podium and took a deep bow.
"Boo!" jeered Kurenai, who had somehow managed to become visibly pregnant despite her husband's death. "Enemy of women!"
"Push‑up bras are torture," said Sakura. "At least make it something more comfy."
"Woo! Let's go! Mini‑skirts are totally in this season!" yelled Anko, who had apparently been promoted to full Jōnin some time during the time skip. "And why don't you go and Twin Snakes Mutual Death Jutsu yourself, Orochimaru!" she snarled. "I'll take old pervs over your freakiness every day of the week!"