Sakura grit her teeth as Shion shrieked in her ear and pummelled the back of her head with her delicate fists. She was sorely tempted to fling the irritating shrine maiden off her back and give her the old Uchiha evil eye treatment, but somehow, she managed to resist.
"Eeeek!" screamed Shion, as Sakura executed a totally radical flip, purely to spite her. "I'm slipping!"
But Shion was not, in fact, slipping. Since Sakura had trained herself to emit chakra from all 361 of her Tenketsu, she could make anything stick to any part of her body, even through multiple layers of clothing— and that included annoying women.
Sakura's portable radio suddenly crackled to life, and Hinata's soft voice rang out in her ears.
"It looks like that Taruho person from before is trying to intercept us," she said. "Should… should we maybe stop and let him catch up to us?"
As team leader, the final decision in such matters rested with Sakura. But she was already fed up with this mission and especially this priestess, so the last thing she wanted was to stop every ten metres to let the dead weight catch his breath. Humans in this world were generally fitter than those on Earth, but there was still a stark difference between ordinary people and shinobi, after all.
"We're deviating a little to the north," Sakura shouted to the others. "Follow me!"
Regular people had no business getting involved in fights between shinobi. More than being a burden, Taruho might actually prove to be a dangerous distraction for the soft-hearted members of Team 7, and as temporary team leader, that was something Sakura could not accept.
And so, the four shinobi and the holy priestess continued their journey through the dense forest into the vast, unmapped regions of the continent's western reaches. Thankfully, Shion's throat gave out long before the sun began to set, so at the very least, Sakura enjoyed a few blessed hours of peace and quiet before it was time to turn in for the night.
"We're taking a break?" asked Naruto, as he and the others landed beside Sakura near the edge of a cliff overlooking yet another sea of trees. "I can keep going all night long, if ya know what I mean…"
Sakura didn't know what he meant, and neither did she especially care to find out.
"It's the V.I.P.," said Sakura tersely. "Apart from her special sealing powers, she's just a regular teenage girl. It'll be no use escorting her to the Sealing Shrine if she's too exhausted to do her job."
"I'm hungry," muttered Shion morosely. "I'm tired, I'm sweaty, and my arms hurt. Ugh, this sucks. This day cannot end soon enough."
Wordlessly, Sakura flipped open her food pouch and offered Shion a military ration pellet. But the moment Shion gave it a sniff, she wrinkled her nose and batted it out of Sakura's hand. Too tired to react, Sakura could only watch helplessly as the pellet sailed through the air and splattered on the ground.
A vein pulsed on Sakura's forehead.
"That does it!" Sakura roared, making Shion flinch. "That was the last of my Curry of Life rations! Do you know how popular those things are? Do you have any idea how long I queued for that!?"
Sakura scooped up the dirty, half-squashed pellet and advanced towards Shion menacingly.
"I was saving it for a rainy day!" Sakura went on, her voice rising with her every word. "But you looked so pitiful, I thought maybe you'd be happier having it than me!"
Shion cowered in fright as Sakura stormed towards her, but before she could get any closer, Sasuke stepped in from behind and hooked his arms under hers in a full nelson, locking her in place.
"Oi, fondling!" yelped Naruto. "Getting handsy is a yellow card, ya know!"
"Let go of me, Sasuke!" Sakura hissed, struggling against his grip. "I'm not going to hurt her— I just want to teach her a lesson about not wasting food!"
All the bottled-up frustrations she'd buried had just come flooding out at once.
"Just take a deep breath," said Sasuke calmly. "You're not thinking straight."
"Like you're one to talk," sighed Sakura, slumping in his arms.
It had been a while since her Uchiha blood had made her emotions run wild. You'd think those Uchiha Curse of Hatred™ mood swings would ease up, considering she was currently on her period and literally losing that rage-soaked blood, but if anything, it all just made her feel even worse.
After three years, Sakura had mostly grown used to her new feminine condition. There were aspects of being a woman she liked more than others, like being able to use her own chest as a pillow and getting free stuff just for being cute— but she doubted she'd ever get used to the shittier parts.
The original Sakura's hot flashes, cramps and mood swings had been bad enough, but at least she had Naruto as a punching bag to vent her pent-up frustrations. The new Sakura naturally had the same problems— just with more responsibilities to look forward to instead.
…
Daylight was fading fast, so Team 7 set up camp near the edge of the cliff, beneath a tree. Unfortunately, it didn't look like Sakura would be stealing Shion's breasts tonight— no one had brought any tents, so they'd all be resting in close proximity under the open sky, arranged in a tight defensive formation around Shion that left no openings.
"Here, for you," said Sasuke as he approached Sakura from behind, nudging her cheek with something cold and soft. "I made this in the kitchens, back at the compound."
"An onigiri?" said Sakura, looking up and accepting the rice ball. "Thanks, Sasuke…"
Sakura took a dainty bite. The rice was lightly salted, and at its centre…
"Tuna steak sauteed with onions and red chilis in tomato sauce," explained Sasuke. "My mum… she used to make these for me, before… before."
He paused briefly.
"She called them Uchiha-style onigiri, because—"
"Because they're red inside?" guessed Sakura. "Like the Sharingan."
Sasuke nodded. It was hard to tell since it was getting dark, but they were indeed red inside.
"I thought you'd might like one," said Sasuke awkwardly. "Tuna is rich in iron… I've heard."
"That's very thoughtful of you, Sasuke," said Sakura with a warm smile, as she licked her fingers clean. "That was delicious."
It was a thoughtful gesture, giving her a snack that would replenish her lost blood iron— especially compared to Naruto, who was oblivious to Sakura's suffering, busy as he was shaking the flavourings into his cup ramen and smashing into bits the dry noodles inside. It was too risky lighting a fire to heat any water, so he was stuck eating his dry ramen as-is, the poor bloke.
Sasuke suddenly spotted a grain of rice clinging to the corner of Sakura's mouth.
"You've got a… right there…" he started saying, but his voice trailed off.
Instinctively, he reached out to brush away the grain of rice— only to lose his nerve at the last second and pull his hand back. But by the time he'd worked up the courage to do something properly cheesy, like plucking it off and eating it and saying a pick-up line, it had already fallen off and slipped into the cavernous depths of Sakura's cleavage— a dark place no grain of rice had ever returned from alive.
"…I'll take first watch," said Sasuke, feeling strangely disappointed. "Get some rest, Sakura."
"Zzz…"