Chapter 348: On Bazett's Moe Points
As a creator, Shinji has never been one to favor any single demographic. When it comes to fanservice, he has always believed in equal opportunity benefits for all.
After satisfying certain… unspoken preferences of the female viewers, it was time to let the male audience feast their eyes as well.
And sure, due to rating restrictions, the little loli characters absolutely cannot be used for swimsuit fanservice—but isn't there a full-grown adult like Bazett in the show?
Thus, Bikini Bazett (Tourist-Vendor Limited Ver.) made her grand debut!
Even though Shinji, trying to avoid complaints about indecency, added a vendor's apron on top of her swimsuit… the final effect was somehow even more potent!
Because the apron only covered Bazett's front. And thanks to the swimsuit design being basically just a few strings, the entire back was practically fully exposed.
Which means—rounding things very generously—it was basically Nude Apron Bazett!
How is that NOT completely lethal!?
What can we say—when it comes to NSFW-level fanservice mastery, Shinji Matou's skills are on a downright grandmaster level.
—It's just that being called a "Grandmaster of Goon" doesn't exactly sound flattering.
And yet, even for a battle-obsessed warrior like Bazett, suddenly being shoved into a fanservice scene—something that should feel wildly OOC—Shinji managed to produce a shockingly convincing reason:
Bazett needed to work part-time to earn money.
After the fight at the Edelfelt estate, the grudge-holding Luvia used her family connections to dump all responsibility and financial damages onto Bazett.
Not only was her bank card frozen, even the cash she had was forcibly wiped clean.
Compared to Bazett's earlier triumphant line—"This is the result of political maneuvering"—Lady Luvia personally demonstrated to this straightforward warrior what it truly meant to face a real big shot.
Bazett's misfortune delivered a brutally clear message:
Wage slaves can never win against capitalists. These people should really be—
Cough cough!! Moving on.
After being screwed over by who-knows-who and performing a tragic drama of "Arrived in Fuyuki, got off the plane, assets wiped to zero," Bazett was forced to earn her keep through part-time work to survive and complete her mission.
In her own words:
"The mission is what matters! Money can be earned with a little part-time work. If I really had to, I could even chew on the grass by the roadside!"
Very inspiring words—but when you imagine her saying this while wearing a bikini and an apron, selling popsicles at a tourist spot… she looks extremely, extremely—pathetic.
Even Illya and the others, who were supposed to be her enemies, were completely speechless.
"She's a totally different person from before." —Chloe
"Her situation, her attitude… even her face feels kinda washed-out and loser-colored…" —Illya
"Is she really a Sealing Designation Enforcer?" —Miyu
You can't blame the girls for doubting. After all, the inspiring popsicle-selling Bazett was worlds apart from the terrifying battle maniac who'd first appeared. The contrast was too extreme to process.
On the other hand, viewers outside the screen instantly found this gap moe Bazett extremely endearing.
Her popularity, which had tanked after she beat up the main cast, suddenly skyrocketed once this episode aired.
At the same time, descriptors such as "pure," "easy to trick," and "gap-moe" quickly became attached to her.
Online, people even used "Hello Bazett" as code for calling someone easy to fool.
"That's the brilliance of Shinji's storytelling," Fujita said smugly, pointing at the screen where Bazett was trying to rebuild her life through popsicle sales, launching into his lecture on "Shinji's Underhanded Techniques."
"Shibamatsu, you know about that 80/20 rule from adult literature, right?"
"…No, I don't."
Feeling the stabbing gazes from all the girls in the room, Shibamatsu denied it with righteous conviction.
He frantically shot Fujita a look—"You'd better shut the hell up!"
But Fujita, already intoxicated with his own 'brilliance,' had completely lost control of his mouth.
All he wanted was to reveal the "truth" he had "uncovered" about Shinji Matou to everyone present.
"In adult stories, there's this idea," Fujita began, voice brimming with confidence. "If you want to depict the downfall of a strong woman, instead of wasting tons of effort describing the process of her humiliation, it's far more effective to use the first 80% of the text to portray how strong, invincible, and godlike she is. Then, use the last 20% to describe her defeat and humiliation."
"That method gets results far superior to writing every detail from start to finish!"
Shibamatsu: "..."
"Shinji uses a similar technique on Bazett. He deliberately portrays her as an undefeatable war goddess in her first appearance—divine, overwhelming, unstoppable. And since she shows up as the enemy of the main cast, her popularity naturally bottoms out at the beginning."
"Then, in her second appearance, he depicts her as a total useless mess. And just like that, Bazett's dopey-cute side digs deep into the viewers' hearts. They start seeing her as this earnest, lovable girl—and they fall for her."
Finished with his grand lecture, Fujita lifted his chin proudly, wearing his signature 'everyone else is an idiot but me' expression.
"You're completely wrong."
Shibamatsu waved a hand in immediate denial. "Shinji only wrote Bazett this way because that's how she actually is in reality."
"I heard that after the Enforcers watched the show, they tried probing her—and they found out she's exactly like the show portrays."
"Nani!?"
Fujita's eyes bulged.
"Her proud exterior is just a shell. On the inside, she's genuinely a really simple, innocent girl."
Shibamatsu's expression twisted strangely. "Rumor has it that a bunch of Enforcers formed a Bazett Fan Club. They even announced they're going to protect 'their Bazett' so no outsider can trick her away."
"No way…"
Fujita stared, dumbfounded.
But he quickly forced himself calm again and muttered stubbornly, "Tch. That just means Shinji already knew about her personality and wrote accordingly. As for that so-called Bazett Fan Club, it was probably already around ages ago."
Actually, no. The Bazett Fan Club really was only recently created.
And the Enforcers—those beasts—had privately cried their hearts out about it, regretting it to the deepest pits of their souls.
"If we'd known she was this easy to wife-steal, we should've acted earlier! Now look—our internal prized meat's being eyed by outsiders! Uwaaaaah!!"
These people weren't even face-fetishists. The real point was that Bazett came from a prestigious old magus family—marrying her was a straight-up jackpot.
Never mind that Bazett was actually attractive. Even if she looked like a palette-swapped Sun Erniang the Demoness, magi would line up to marry her.
They only held back before because her aloof exterior fooled them into thinking she was basically a stone woman.
Now? Too late for regrets.
As for the general audience—they were just enjoying the show.
To them, the funniest part of Bazett's popsicle-selling arc was how she tried to force-sell three popsicles to Illya and the others at a ridiculous 300 yen each—textbook tourist trap pricing.
The three girls were so flabbergasted by the pushy sales pitch that their faces turned pitch-dark while they begrudgingly ate their ice pops.
"…I feel like… we just got hard-sold by a useless loser…"
"Yeah… kinda feels like that…"
"…Agreed…"
Watching the trio sit in a row, gloomy-faced, munching on popsicles, Mordred burst into a Decepticon-like roar of laughter.
"WAHAHAHAHA! You three are too stupid! This is hilarious! Ahahaha!"
With tears streaming down her face, Mordred wiped her eyes while laughing, looking absolutely punchable.
"Hahaha! I can't believe you actually fell for something like that! Pathetic!"
"!!"
Feeling her reputation gravely slandered, Illya shot to her feet and fired back at Mordred.
"Miss Mordred! If you were at a beach resort, and your father Arturia sold you a popsicle for 1000 yen, would you buy it?"
"Of course I would!"
Mordred didn't even hesitate.
Illya yelled at Mordred, "You're even dumber than I am, you know!"
Mordred whistled and shrugged. "Totally different. This is Father's popsicle."
"How is that different at all?!"
Rin, who was currently broke enough to consider selling her dignity for pocket change, overheard the two of them. She quietly leaned toward Shinji and whispered, "I think… I just discovered a great way to make money."
Shinji let out a cold, knowing chuckle.
"If you manage to get a popsicle that Arturia has taken a bite out of, Mordred will hand over her entire life savings."
"Really?"
Rin's eyes glittered instantly. She turned to look at Arturia, clearly plotting to scam a half-eaten pastry out of her.
"Of course."
"Then… should I try?" Rin gave a sly little fox grin.
"Go on, go on."
Shinji wasn't lying.
But he also wasn't telling the whole truth.
Just earlier tonight, he'd tricked Mordred out of her allowance by selling her a photograph of Arturia.
Even if Rin managed to obtain Mordred's "entire fortune," it wouldn't be much at this point.
But the price Rin would have to pay… was to steal food directly from the lioness Arturia's mouth—and the food was a pastry specially made by Shiki.
"Tsk, tsk."
Watching Rin's tempted expression, Shinji felt the corners of his lips curl upward, an inexplicable sense of joy bubbling up inside him.
"Shinji, isn't that going too far? Rin's going to get her hand bitten off by Saber."
Shinji snickered. "Not necessarily. She could also get blasted away by Excalibur's Invisible Air."
"Master～～"
Suddenly, Arturia's voice echoed right behind Shinji, immediately freezing his triumphant grin.
"Using Rin as a pawn to disturb my pastry time? Such despicableness shall not be tolerated!"
Arturia raised both hands. The sound of wind began spiraling around Shinji's ears.
"Ah… ah… a-h—hey~"
No amount of comedic timing could save him now.
Arturia's hand chopped down.
"Enough talk—Barrier of the Wind King!"
Beside them, Rin was absolutely beaming, looking one smug chuckle away from donning strategist robes and fanning herself with a jewel-studded war fan.
"Shinji, did you really think I'd fall for that?" Rin said proudly, lifting her tiny nose. "I saw everything when you tricked Mordred at the entrance earlier."
"Tsk, even the best-laid plans can go awry."
With his hair sticking up like a chicken coop, and his body pinned under the sofa's armrest, Shinji could only groan in bitter defeat.
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