Chapter 248: Shinji: Alcohol Really Isn't a Good Thing!
Facing Arturia's questioning glare, Shinji shrugged innocently.
"There's simply no helping it. Tonight was the premiere—I didn't use my wallet at all. I probably left it in the office when I changed clothes this afternoon."
It was undeniably a bit embarrassing: He's the president of Type-Moon, and he couldn't even pay for dinner at Saizeriya.
Mordred, on the other hand, seemed delighted to hear Shinji had no money. She excitedly slapped her wallet on the table.
"Father, let me treat tonight!"
Even though Mordred hadn't been in the modern world for long and hadn't even finished filming a single movie—unlike Jeanne, who already had a commercial deal—Shinji still provided his Servants with a monthly salary to support their daily lives.
Besides, Saizeriya was just a family-style restaurant with very affordable pricing. Even if you ate until you burst, it wouldn't cost much.
That "luxurious" bottle of red wine? It was only considered extravagant by this restaurant's standards.
So, even though Mordred didn't have much money, covering a meal like this was no problem at all.
But just as she was about to treat everyone, Arturia cut in with an objection.
"Don't bother, Sir Mordred. You can pay for your own share. I'll cover Master's portion."
With that, she handed her wallet to Shinji.
"Let me be clear—there's not a lot of money in there. If you go overboard with your order, we'll have to leave you here as payment!"
"Come on, I'm not you," Shinji rolled his eyes, picking up the menu.
He ordered a Neapolitan pasta and the restaurant's signature grilled escargot.
Though the name Neapolitan made it sound like a dish straight out of Italy, it was actually a Japanese take on Italian cuisine.
Shinji had always been curious—should this be considered Italian or Japanese food?
There were actually quite a few dishes like that in Japan—foreign in name, local in spirit. Take the well-known "Tianjin rice" (天津飯) from Japanese-Chinese cuisine, for example. It had nothing to do with the actual Tianjin city in China.
While Japan liked to use place names for these pseudo-foreign dishes, the West preferred adding personal names instead—like General Tso's Chicken.
Shinji didn't really mind this kind of practice.
Any food hoping to enter a foreign market had to go through some kind of "localization" process.
People often liked to argue about whether Chinese food abroad was "authentic," but Shinji thought that kind of mindset was dumb.
If it were truly authentic, it wouldn't survive in a foreign country—it'd be completely incompatible with local tastes and eventually weeded out.
It was like feeding salty tofu pudding to someone who only liked sweet things—you're not solving anything, just creating conflict.
In Shinji's view, it didn't matter whether Neapolitan pasta was Japanese or Italian. As long as it filled his stomach, that was good enough.
But Arturia didn't see it that way.
"Master, is that all you're ordering?" she asked. "Don't you want a bit more?"
"That's enough. I'm not you—I can't eat that much in the middle of the night."
"Master… are you calling me a glutton?"
Arturia's face flushed red with indignation.
Shinji replied, "Drop the 'are you' part. You know your appetite."
"Hmph. I'm mad now, Master," Arturia huffed, slapping the table.
She pushed her steak plate in front of Shinji.
"As an apology, cut my steak for me. It's too tough—I can't manage it."
"You'd do a better job than me," Shinji's eyebrow twitched.
Even though the Age of Mystery had declined and Heroic Spirits' stats were nerfed, there was no way the King of Knights had trouble cutting steak with a fork and knife.
She could probably slice through the entire iron plate if she wanted.
Tough? What, was this steak made of diamonds?
"I swear, you…"
Shinji looked at Arturia, about to say something.
But as he looked at the golden-haired girl giving him a slightly coquettish gaze, her emerald eyes seemed like deep, still water—mysterious and unfathomable.
Those long lashes, faintly flushed cheeks, and those soft, pale lips gave off a beauty that could steal one's soul.
"Are you drunk?"
Shinji frowned as he asked.
"I'm not drunk!" she snapped.
Well, yep, she was definitely drunk.
Shinji tilted his head toward Mordred. "Your dad's got weak alcohol tolerance?"
Mordred shook her head slightly. "I'm not sure. Father has always been very self-disciplined—aside from certain rituals, she rarely drinks. I honestly don't know her alcohol tolerance."
Shinji mentally translated that to: Arturia has no tolerance to alcohol.
Unless you're naturally gifted, most people's alcohol tolerance has to be trained over time, glass by glass.
"Well, guess I'll take one for the team and serve the king," Shinji muttered.
He didn't make a fuss and picked up the knife and fork, leaning in to start cutting the steak seriously.
From his experience with drunken women, arguing was a no-go. Best to just go along with them and be gentle.
Unless, of course, a chastity emergency occurred—that was another story.
That said, in the absence of any business entanglements, Shinji wasn't opposed to sacrificing his chastity to a cute girl.
Especially one like the very King of Knights sitting in front of him.
At least, her drunken behavior was leagues better than that of the rich young mistress from before.
Though flushed and acting a little off, Arturia wasn't screaming, wasn't smashing things, and—thankfully—wasn't trying to rip off Shinji's clothes.
It left him both slightly relieved... and slightly disappointed.
And also, a bit curious.
'Was Lissy really drunk that time… or did she just use it as an excuse to make a move?'
While Shinji spaced out in his thoughts, Mordred was about to ask her Master a question—when Arturia suddenly waved at her.
"Don't mind him, Sir Mordred. Let's keep chatting."
"Oh… okay."
Mordred pulled her gaze back.
Normally, getting to chat with her father would make her so happy she'd be firing twenty rounds of Mana Bursts into the sky.
But right now… she looked distracted.
'Master's just cutting steak for Father… Yet… What kind of atmosphere is this? Why does it feel like they're flirting? Ugh! Why do I feel like I'm the third wheel here?!'
Suddenly, Mordred realized why Shinji had looked so annoyed with her when he walked into the restaurant.
"Damn it, Master! You thick-browed, shifty-eyed bastard—what are you trying to pull with my father?!"
Smack
Mordred got a karate chop to the head from Arturia.
"What do you mean your father? Am I yours? If I am, then what's yours is mine hm?"
"..."
Shinji's hand trembled as he continued cutting the steak, listening to that barrage of drunken nonsense.
Smack
This time it was Shinji's turn to take a chop to the head.
"Cut properly. Don't disrespect the food."
"Alright, alright. The steak's ready, Your Majesty. You may feast!"
Shinji placed the neatly sliced steak in front of Arturia. Then, without missing a beat, he reached for Mordred's plate and started cutting her steak too.
"Hey! It's too late to try and win me over now."
Mordred frowned.
"I'm not trying to win you over. Just cutting it since I had the knife in hand," Shinji replied without stopping.
"If I were trying to butter you up, I'd go to the game store next door, buy you a console, and tell you to go play while we talk."
"Like you could afford it, you broke-ass Master," Mordred shot back.
"I do have money. I've got a card," Shinji said, pulling out his black card—and instantly realized his mistake.
"Master～～"
Arturia and Mordred stared him down, eyes full of accusation.
"So the truth comes out—you planned to sponge off me tonight, didn't you?!"
Shinji cleared his throat and said sheepishly, "Ahem— I just thought maybe Saizeriya doesn't accept cards, you know…"
"..." x2
Seeing those two identical faces still locked in identical scowls, Shinji could only scratch his head and give a silly laugh.
"Haha~ What's wrong with living off a woman?"
"..." ×2
Shinji raised the knife and fork in his hands and gave a mock French salute.
"Alright, I accept my punishment! Whatever you say, I'll do it!"
"As punishment for lying to us, keep cutting the steak!"
"Yes, yes, Your Highnesses."
"Less talk, more cutting," Arturia snorted. "Come, Sir Mordred, let's drink."
"Good luck, Master~"
This time, Mordred didn't hesitate. She smugly made a face at Shinji.
Arturia and Mordred clinked their glasses and each took a small sip.
"Ah~ Steak cut by someone else really tastes better," Mordred said with exaggerated satisfaction, waving her forked piece like a trophy.
'Ugh, smug little brat!'
Shinji mentally cursed.
'Hmph. Don't get cocky. One day, you'll be kneeling before me, singing 'Conquered', and struggling to get through the lyrics!'
Ambitious thoughts aside, Shinji knew he hadn't even made progress with the older one (Arturia), let alone thinking about the younger one (Mordred).
So, faced with the pressure from the King of Knights, he quietly lowered his head and kept slicing up steaks like a dutiful food processor.
And why was he cutting for them and not just Mordred?
Oh, you sweet summer child—did you think Arturia only ordered one steak?
Shinji estimated that most of his night at this point would be spent doing one thing: cutting meat.
'Tch. Man plans, fate laughs.'
As the two British knights chatted and laughed, Shinji was stuck in silence, working like a kitchen assistant. The bitterness in his heart was real.
In fact, when Mordred suddenly butted in earlier, Shinji had deliberately let Arturia treat him to dinner, hoping he could return the favor later, one-on-one. Build that rapport, bit by bit.
Sure, he didn't mind the idea of having both father and daughter in his arms—but come on, the affection level clearly wasn't there yet!
Thanks to Mordred crashing the party, Shinji's standing with Arturia had just taken a hit. Down a whole tier, probably.
Still, Shinji wasn't too down about it. To him, the campaign (or rather, conquest) of Arturia was more of a fun little side quest in his currently goal-free emotional life.
Of course, if he did manage to win over this proud British rose, that would be one hell of an achievement.
And if not? No big loss. It's not like he'd invested much to begin with.
But then...
"Master's really the worst! I work so hard, you know!"
"Yeah! You keep throwing weird photoshoots at us!"
"Master is always underestimating me just because I'm a girl! That's what you think, right?!"
"Father isn't a woman! She's Father! That's that!"
"Yes! Well said!! A steak for you, Sir Mordred!"
"Thanks, my King! I knew you loved me best! Hahahaha!"
...
'These two are definitely going all out...'
Listening to the way these two Servants casually roasted him while he kept cutting food, Shinji's smile gradually froze.
But then... something felt off.
Arturia and Mordred had not stopped drinking since they started.
'Wait a sec…'
'Arturia can't hold her liquor... but what about Mordred?'
Watching the two proud British knights down glass after glass, Shinji's expression started to shift.
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆
One hour later.
"Sir, we're about to close... uh, could you...?"
The waitress smiled awkwardly at Shinji, gesturing to the table.
Shinji looked at the two knights slumped face-first on the table, sound asleep. His eyebrow twitched to a flamenco rhythm.
"I knew it, no matter where, alcohol really is no good!"
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