Chapter 303: Senti
Only a day after the cataclysmic destruction, the world had already shed its torn and battered visage. What replaced it was the gentle rustle of wind through grass, the expanse of the high sky, and drifting clouds—peaceful and serene.
All that could be said was: Su lived up to the name Su.
"Fu Hua," dressed only in a thin, white nightgown, had come alone to what could be considered the edge of this small world. She sat quietly atop the soft grass.
Slowly, she curled up, hugging her knees to her chest and burying her face in them.
After a long silence, a faint phantom appeared behind her—white robes, long sleeves drifting like silk in the wind.
"What are you thinking about?"
The real Fu Hua leaned forward slightly, her voice calm and gentle.
"Fu Hua" remained in her withdrawn posture. After a moment, she murmured sullenly:
"You got hurt."
"Mm. It caught me off guard. And that strike of yours carried the power of the Herrscher of Sentience—it wasn't easy to endure, even for me."
"…Sorry."
"It's nothing. No big deal."
Fu Hua smiled and floated down to sit beside "Fu Hua," gazing up at the drifting clouds. Her relaxed, tranquil demeanor made it feel like she was truly savoring the fresh breeze of the open plains.
"Fu Hua" couldn't help but lift her head to look at the real Fu Hua's face. Her eyes were red and watery.
"Why don't you scold me?"
"Well… Sigurd already handled the scolding part. Doesn't seem like there's anything left for me to do, right?"
"Then… do you hate me?"
"Of course not. I admit, for a long time, I had no tolerance for anything related to the Honkai or Herrschers. My answer was always to strike down evil. But over the years, I've changed. When you were at the base, spending time with the other girls… tell me, did you hate any of them?"
Fu Hua's gentle voice brought back memories of that time—of the base, the people, the laughter.
It had been, undeniably, a happy time.
"I didn't hate them… But they all knew who I really was, didn't they? So they were lying to me the whole time."
"That's not entirely true. Seele, Rozaliya, and Liliya—at the very least—treated you like the real me. As for the others… yes, there was some concealment, some hesitation. But don't blame them. No matter how many Herrschers stand on humanity's side, that doesn't erase the inherent risk of being a Herrscher. Caution is inevitable."
Fu Hua smiled apologetically and reached out a hand, attempting to pat her on the head.
But "Fu Hua" dodged away.
Fu Hua paused, then withdrew her hand and sighed faintly.
"Ah… I really don't know how to deal with you. Maybe Little Xuan would have better luck here."
"I don't want to see her. She lied to me too."
"She'd be hurt to hear that. Hiding the truth was a last resort. But whether or not she truly cared about you… that should be something you can feel, isn't it?"
Fu Hua spoke with patient sincerity.
It was true that the Book of Fuxi had helped in deceiving "Fu Hua." But if she hadn't sincerely acknowledged and accepted her, she would never have gotten that close. That playful, sharp-tongued little book was actually quite picky. Her seemingly cheerful and overly friendly attitude masked a nature forged by centuries of distance—she didn't open up easily to just anyone.
Perhaps something in Fu Hua's words struck a chord. "Fu Hua" wiped at the corner of her eyes and stood up.
"I'm not Fu Hua! I'm just a Herrscher! You don't need to treat me this well! For all you know, we'll be enemies again soon!"
"A Herrscher is indeed a Herrscher," Fu Hua said calmly. "But as for whether you're not Fu Hua… I wouldn't be so sure."
That made "Fu Hua," her eyes still red, freeze in place.
Fu Hua leaned back and lay on the soft grass, hands folded over her abdomen, and sighed.
"I've been thinking a lot lately," Fu Hua began, lying on the grass, her voice as calm as ever.
"Among all my Herrscher students, they almost all developed a distinct Herrscher personality. While there are exceptions, in most cases, a Herrscher personality is essentially just a different facet of the original self—brought forth by the Honkai. Can you really say that Wendy's other self isn't Wendy, or that Mei's other self isn't Mei?"
"…What are you trying to say?" "Fu Hua" asked, frowning, confused and cautious.
"I'm saying this: perhaps you're simply another side of me. What makes you special is that I possess thousands of years of conscious cultivation—layers upon layers of memories, emotions, states of mind… All of it may have been too heavy, so much so that when you came into being, those things overwhelmed your initial awareness, distorting your self-perception. But in essence, just like Wendy and Mei's Herrscher selves—you are my Herrscher personality. You are me. That's a pretty reasonable conclusion, isn't it?"
"…That's… that's even possible?"
"Fu Hua" bit her thumb and began spinning in place in a flustered circle.
She tried to poke holes in Fu Hua's logic—but found, frustratingly, that this might be the most accurate explanation.
She was the Herrscher personality of that ancient relic. Just another side of Fu Hua. The only reason she couldn't recognize it was because Fu Hua's overwhelming consciousness had smothered her birth, skewing her sense of identity and making her mistake herself for the original.
It was… perfect. Flawless logic.
Her eyes lit up. Despite the redness still lingering from her earlier tears, excitement sparkled in her gaze.
"So I really am Fu Hua! I wasn't wrong all along!"
"If Wendy's other self says she's Wendy, and Mei's other self says she's Mei—can you say they're wrong?"
"No! Of course not! Then why didn't you tell me this earlier!?"
"I tried," Fu Hua replied with a helpless smile. "But you were too worked up. Then you shattered the vessel I was residing in, and I had no choice but to return to my body to recover."
She patted the grass beside her with one hand, inviting "Fu Hua" to lie down too.
Without hesitation, "Fu Hua" plopped down beside her, arms wide, forming a star shape as she turned to grin at Fu Hua.
"So I really am Fu Hua!"
"Yes, yes," Fu Hua replied patiently. "Sigurd was right about one thing—who you are depends on how you see yourself. If by logic, you are another side of me, and if you believe you are me, then that's all that matters. There's nothing to doubt."
"I'm the other side of the old Timer," she nodded, satisfied. "Which means you're the rigid, fossilized, hopelessly old-fashioned Fu Hua—while I'm the progressive, open-minded, and modern Fu Hua! Yep, that settles it!"
"…Rigid… fossilized… hopelessly old-fashioned…"
Fu Hua's eye twitched.
Fu Hua smiled gently—but her willow-leaf brows twitched ever so slightly.
"Fu Hua," the excited one, didn't notice this small change. She suddenly rubbed her arms and sneezed:
"Achoo! That's weird—why do I feel chilly all of a sudden? Is it because Su adjusted the temperature and I'm just in sleepwear?"
"…That's probably it," the original Fu Hua replied with a faint sigh in her heart, her expression returning to serenity.
'Forget it,' she thought. 'She just took a serious beating, this is not the time to press her too hard. Better to ease up a bit… I don't want to traumatize the child.'
"Hehe! Ehehehehe!"
Tear stains still lingered on "Fu Hua's" cheeks, yet she was already grinning like a fool, lost in her own little world.
Watching this scene, Fu Hua felt something… strange.
'Wait a minute… Didn't I once say I wanted to raise a little ball of sunshine like Kiana? Innocent, adorable, determined…'
Looking at this girl now, she checked all the boxes.
'Could it be… that wish actually came true?'
"Hey! Hey! Old Timer, help me think—where did I mess up last time? Let me see… First, I wasted too much energy fighting that blood-tank Kevin, and then… and then my mental state was all over the place, so I couldn't fight properly! Yeah! Those two were the reasons! Normally, there's no way I'd lose to some lab rat!"
She leapt up and waved her arms as she spoke, probably picturing herself unleashing divine justice on Sigurd.
Fu Hua sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of her nose.
Okay, she had been too idealistic. She just wanted a sweet, lovable kid—completely forgetting how often Sigurd had nearly lost his mind from Kiana's chaos and lack of self-awareness.
"…Better not go," she said wearily.
"Why not?! Aren't we supposed to redeem ourselves?!"
"First of all, it's you who wants to save face. That has nothing to do with me. More importantly, this body is still mine too. If there's no real need, I'd rather not get it wrecked again."
"…Wait, are you saying I'd lose in a fair fight?!"
The girl's eyes widened in offense, full of outrage.
Fu Hua paused, carefully choosing her words to sound as diplomatic as possible.
She nodded… and smiled.
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."
"OLD TIMER!!!"
"Please listen—don't throw your life away trying to prove a point. It's not worth it."
"ARGH! You're killing me here! How could you side with someone else like that!?"
"Senti, let's be rational and practical, alright?"
"Senti? What kind of stupid name is that!?"
"Well, you are a Herrscher personality who controls the Authority of Consciousness—'Sentience'—so calling you Senti makes it easier to tell us apart. But that's not important. What is important is that you stay rational. Self-inflicted suffering is not a virtue."
"OLD TIMER!!!"
A gentle breeze carried the earthy scent of grass across the field—fresh and soothing.
And somewhere in the distance, the clear, energetic voice of a very loud, very spirited girl echoed far, far away.
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[1] https://www.patreon.com/collection/95348?view=condensed
[2] https://www.patreon.com/posts/140631608
[3] https://www.patreon.com/posts/140631608
[4] https://www.patreon.com/collection/95348?view=condensed