Chapter 12: Bear The Pain, Memory Retain, Or Be Consumed Where The Dark Reign (2)
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Year 1497, Month 2, Sunivi Calendar.
"Kevin, we are friends, aren't we?"
"Why ask such a thing? Also, I've told you many times to call me Sa-je, Theo Sa-hyung."
"I never asked, what do these words mean?"
"It's the culture of the martial arts people. You know Jiang-hu from the stories, right? Old Man Dae told me a lot about his homeland, the sects, clans, and warriors... Anyway, Sa-hyung means older brother or senior colleague in a field, Sa-je means younger brother. So, I am Sa-je to Theo, and Theo to me is Sa-hyung."
"You really love to chatter, Sa-je."
"Jeez, you're the one who asked. You always are—"
"Anyway."
"Don't ignore my words!"
"Whatever happens in the future, we'll remain friends, right?"
"Instead of talking nonsense, let's train harder and become the village heroes, Sa-hyung."
"Hmph, say that after you defeat me!"
"Hahaha!"
The faces of the two youths held a faint glow, and in their childhood, they were each other's support.
Year 1500, Month 2.
"Let go of my foot, fucking bastard!"
Unconcerned with covering his arms in energy, Theodore focused his awareness on his leg to protect it from the hand trying to crush it.
Bam!
And with that leg, he kicked Kevin's face.
"In your dreams, Bitch!"
No, he had tried, but Kevin moved his forehead, and the leg struck his scalp, almost negating the impact, and there was a thin, transparent layer covering that spot.
"Damn it! Fuck you!"
He concentrated his strength into his arm and pressed on Theodore's calf even harder.
"Stop! This is not the time to fight!"
From behind, Stella shouted angrily.
"We should inform the teachers instead of this silly skirmish! Stop immediately!"
"Brother! Didn't you say you wanted Theo Sa-hyung to be the leader? Why are you fighting him? Theo Sa-hyung, don't be too harsh on my brother either!"
Crawling desperately, Luna shouted.
With their words, the others also shouted at the two.
Theodore's face was strangely cold, unaffected: "Instead of wasting your time on us, try surviving first."
"Whether we fight each other, it's none of your business, neither you, sister, nor Stella."
"...Brother."
"Focus on getting out instead of wasting my time."
"I just—"
"You what?"
He didn't even turn to her.
A past where Luna was 11 years old.
"...I hate living. We're always hungry, we have no home, and you suffer to gather food for me. Even the grown-ups say I'm cursed. I hate everyone!"
For little Luna, crying was normal, hunger was normal, freezing from the cold was normal.
People screaming at them was normal, and their lives being despised was normal.
Therefore, Luna hated "normal things," for what was normal was synonymous with pain.
But Kevin pushed her forward no matter how much it hurt, and found ways to make her happy.
"The world is splendid, so splendid, Luna. Even if fire burns a tree, we can always plant another. Don't cry, your brother is always by your side!"
And in the present.
"We are no longer wretched little kids. The world is ugly, so ugly, so don't cling to even a speck of your delusions."
"No, I don't want to! I don't want to!"
Words of consolation were no longer spoken, only truths that everyone knew.
So tell me.
Do people love the truth?
Sweet lies make one beloved, immersed in fantasy.
Bitter truths make one an outcast, alone before reality.
In the past, Luna survived thanks to sweet lies.
"You're lying, you're lying because you're angry, right? Sorry, I won't cry anymore, I won't get upset. Please, don't be angry with me, I promise!"
Fearing her brother would reject her as people did in the old days, she began to plead.
Unaware of her own psychological state.
Kevin bit his lips until they bled, and did not soften his expression.
It was time to cut the cords of lies.
Precisely now, when her mental state was "wavering."
"They say the past is an engraved stone, but it's like a dream, changing to suit our emotions. Therefore, memories are never objective. The world I remember no longer exists. Wake up from your dreams! You fool!"
"Brother!"
Luna's tears flowed unconsciously.
"Stop crying."
Even though he couldn't see her, Kevin knew she was crying.
"Hey! Why are you so harsh! She's just worried about you!"
And with an angry voice, Stella intervened.
"So what?"
"Why are you—"
"Quiet. Do you think you're different? You always place the interest of the group above individual interests, and above that, above your own interest. Do you think anyone will thank you? Suppose they do, then what? That's it."
"That was never my intention—"
"Bullshit. I hate fools more than anyone. The line between kindness and foolishness is as thin as that between life and death. All this kindness of yours will only lead to exploitation and then being discarded like trash. What then? Should I let you do it again and abandon my own interest? Hahaha, pitiful, truly pitiful."
"...Kevin, why are you so harsh with me..."
Stella's voice diminished, and gradually ceased to come out.
"This harshness is what you must taste for those dreamy ideas. Ooooh, sorry sister, okay, I'll stop and obey the cowardly others for the greater good, ignoring my burning heart's desire to excel. Am I seeing things right?"
Kevin wore a dissociative expression.
Chae Nayun, having had enough of words their speaker might regret, spoke trying to put on a cold front: "Kevin, stop the nonsense. You're disrupting the others and ruining their focus."
"Chae Nayun, the fool who wants to become a swordswoman, the idiot who doesn't even know the path of her own dreams, a slave to orders with no will like you wouldn't understand. Your hypocrisy in pretending to be good won't work on me. Shut your mouth, shut it and leave me alone."
"That's not what I meant!"
Nayun frowned and spoke, but the momentary tremor of her body betrayed her.
Not to mention her voice, louder than usual.
"...Fool."
She couldn't bring herself to say more, and whispered to herself.
Her focus turned to crawling, afraid of revealing more of her emotions.
Because she felt that hearing more of Kevin's words would make her cry.
Because crying is the easiest thing.
"Kevin! You!"
Everyone was aware of the harshness of Chae Nayun's life; they knew her psychological trauma, so they rarely mentioned her sense of being lost.
Therefore, Kevin's words ignited their anger.
But the gravity field didn't leave them much room for distraction.
It was a strange feeling; something seemed out of place.
But Stella's emotional state was shattered by Kevin's words, so she didn't notice.
"The rule is simple: get out before the time expires. Your emotions won't help in a situation like this. I don't need your pity."
He said nothing more after that.
Usually, Stella would scold him. Usually, she would tell him to calm down.
But she didn't.
No, she couldn't.
Only slight tears slid down, and a bite on the lips that drew blood from a girl in her sixteenth spring.
It hurts terribly; the deepest wounds can only be inflicted by loved ones.
Kevin looked at Stella and his sister with intense focus, carving their crying faces into his memory.
He would never forget this deed of his, never forget the ugliness of his words, nor the regret of this moment.
Kevin bit his lips but refused to take back his words.
It wasn't about his pride.
It wasn't about his desires.
He did it because it was necessary.
Ugly, despicable, vile, but necessary.
That's how the world works.
"...I will tell brother Jung Dae. When he hits you, you'll apologize and say: 'It's my fault! I didn't mean what I said!' So let's move forward."
Luna placed her hand over Stella's, then said, staring at Kevin.
"So let's continue, then he'll come to his senses."
"...Yes."
Stella replied weakly.
"Finished your dramatic story?"
Theodore mocked.
"Heh, the big girl has become a man now?"
Kevin replied coldly.
"Here!"
Veins appeared on Kevin's arm.
"And now!"
Theodore tensed the muscles in his leg.
"I will be number one!"
Bam! Bam! Crack!
A leg kicks and an arm crushes.
Completely ignoring the shouts from the rest.
A natural reaction; when one's mental system breaks, they tend to occupy themselves with shouting to lessen their fear.
And sometimes, with fighting, as Kevin and Theodore are doing now.
Accumulation built on competition, difference in status, and comparisons, not to mention the deep despair for societal acceptance, leads to building a wall.
A wall neither of them had forced themselves to climb.
And today it was broken.
Leon might have been the final straw, but what happened was merely life's inevitability.
It just happened faster than expected, that's all.
Bam! Bam! Crack! Crack!
"You, whose parents feared him so they fled and abandoned him! Oh cursed orphan! Oh poor in wealth and mind! Oh unmanly, you effeminate!"
"Heh! Oh crybaby! Oh sisterless, you honorless! Oh ugliest of creation, oh ape not even loved by his own mother!"
"Oh burden on logic!"
"Oh vile-faced!"
"You, so ugly that if the blind saw you, he'd regret being sighted!"
"The deaf, if you conversed with him, would pierce your throat from the prostitution of your voice!"
"Oh slave to desire!"
"Oh weak in bed!"
The two faced each other crawling, hitting, insulting.
This was not a competition, but an ugly fight.
No rules, no referee, no audience, only pure violence.
"Why... why are they doing this! Now when we need them... just... why?"
Luna's tears flowed while Stella bit her lips, trying to restrain her anger and sorrow.
Even though they focused on getting out to ignore their fears, emotions always invade hearts uninvited.
And in such a situation, it's hard to rein in the mind to gather the heart's fragments.
As if Kevin's harsh words weren't enough, now he and Theodore are hurling the vilest traits and titles at each other.
"Leave them. This isn't something we can intervene in. That's how men are when they compete. We should support each other and the rest of the class to get out. That's the best thing."
And right behind them, was Chae Nayun.
Crawling slowly, weakly, but her eyes fixed on the door.
"We don't have the strength to intervene, or the time."
Luna whispered, trying to wipe her tears: "...Sagu... what are you—"
"Just move forward. We must complain to Theo sahyeong's grandfather about what that strange swordless man did."
Saying that, Chae Nayun hid her face.
A glimmer in the others' eyes was not concealed, because of Chae Nayun's words.
Right, as long as they report Leon, their justice will come!
What... dreams.
Poor children.
Chae Nayun herself believed this dream.
If she couldn't reclaim her right, she must bring someone who could.
That's how the world works.
Despite saying that, seeing the two fight pained her heart, but it wasn't the time for crying.
Her body trembled slightly—anxious, fearful, sad.
But she focused her awareness on moving energy in her body to ignore her fears, seeking solace in success.
And that's what Stella and Luna did too.
And the rest, in their eyes disappointment, despair, and hope that their lost pride would be restored.
Thus the place sank into painful silence and enveloping coldness.
"Hahaha!"
Theodore laughed while approaching the door.
"I'll crush you!"
Kevin also laughed savagely, concentrating his strength in his arm while pulling himself and pressing on Theodore's leg.
"Why don't you just surrender, you degenerate!"
Bam!
Theodore kicked him, but Kevin covered his head with extremely light energy.
A strike covered in energy matches the strength of an adult, and even carries greater hardness.
And of course, the weak body suffers cramps and complications.
Energy, in essence, is extracting the weight of muscles and multiplying the speed of their contraction and relaxation, thereby increasing strength.
That's why there are four walls of talent: Will, Mind, Energy, Body.
The Wall of Will is an extension of knowledge and understanding it, then causing an effect through it.
The Wall of Mind is recognizing one's own tendencies, internal contradictions, and senses, and how to use that knowledge.
The Wall of Energy means understanding energy, possessing it, then using it to increase its quality and quantity.
And finally, the Body: muscular capability, bone and tendon structure—in other words, physical development.
There is no wall above a wall; the relationship between talent walls is relative.
For some, one wall is better as a foundation than another, and vice versa.
For example, Kevin broke the Walls of Energy and Mind, so he has better energy control and better senses and understanding of knowledge.
That's why his reactions are extraordinary; the reason is he understands how his own body works, but he didn't focus on the Body because achieving it is difficult for him.
Conversely, Theodore has a high-level body and energy control, but lacks the obsessive knowledge of his environment and himself despite being intelligent.
"Aaaaaah! What joy! Oh what delight to be crushed in my hands!"
Theodore laughed coldly then focused on pulling himself.
"It's a legs, you Fucker, not hands!"
His endurance is less and he is weaker.
But he didn't let go of Theodore's leg; his body trembled violently.
The current fight, though simple, required a high understanding of the opponent's and one's own capabilities to maintain maximum strength while also depleting the opponent's strength.
Kevin's face was unclear while looking at the ground.
And what adorned his expression was nothing but a distorted smile.
A severely distorted smile.
"Rejoice more in your victory, rejoice! Only then does the taste of snatching it become sweeter!"
He didn't voice his thoughts, and instead, focused on a new approach.
Blood moved swiftly through his body; he lightly closed his eyes while focusing on transforming energy.
Toward the legs.
He felt the pressure increase on his body while it lightened on his legs.
Ignoring his pain, he inhaled.
His combat path was still at the beginning, still stuck at the first star.
Still, he had years of diligent training and work, not to mention Jung Dae's experience which always helped him.
Jung Dae gave him a breathing technique book given to him by his old village elder, then taught him everything he knew about combat and body science.
A breathing technique that reduces pain and increases muscular capability, compensating for his physical ability against Theodore.
This book is what helped Jung Dae endure the hardships of the long journey from the Yonam Empire to the Black Sand Village.
As he exhaled, the exhalation came out as light white mist.
Then...
Bam! Bam!
He kicked the wooden floor with all his strength consecutively.
And naturally, it was pierced.
He didn't stop.
Bam! Bam! Bam!
He kicked the floor again and again, making the hole larger.
"Hahaha, rage all you want, you fool! Your tantrum won't solve anything!"
Believing Kevin had given up, Theodore tried to lightly shake his arm free from his leg.
But the arm never let go.
"Hahahaha! Hahaha!"
Kevin laughed madly, the blue slit in his eyes becoming sharper.
His face, stuck to the ground, was raised while veins throbbed in his neck.
"Fool! A true fool, Sa-hyung!"
Theodore felt an uncomfortable sensation and tried to pull himself forward.
But!
"What!"
He found he couldn't advance even an inch.
"You're stronger than me normally, but in this stifling environment, you can't use all your strength, because if you do, you won't have any energy left to reach the outside first! Stop me if you can! For I shall take the title of the best!"
Kevin extended his relaxed arm with all his might.
The movement was slow due to gravity, but for Theodore, it was a death sentence.
"Parents teach their children morals; where are your morals, Fucking honorless!"
Bam! Bam!
He kicked Kevin to free himself.
"Where is your damned mind? Huh? You donkey! I'm an orphan!"
But he blocked the kicks with his arm.
"Don't use that as an excuse! Old man Jung Dae is still alive!"
"And what's that to me!"
Kevin concentrated his strength in his legs onto the hole in the floor, enduring the jagged wood piercing his socked legs while splinters penetrated his shoe.
Blood mixed with wood, but the injury was reduced due to the core energy covering them.
In return, Theodore was pulling himself forcefully and trying to hit Kevin's face to make him let go.
Trying to turn wasn't an option because gravity would crush his midsection, so he tried to make Kevin suffer.
And since he was ahead of everyone, contrary to his apparent frenzy, Theodore's heart was calm.
"A little more... and my plan succeeds."
Kevin also had his own thoughts.
"Just when will the moment come? When he loses his nerve, I am the winner."
And thus, the back and forth between them continued.
They were the closest to the door.
And after 5 minutes of stalemate between the two, the moment came.
"Farewell, Sa-je!"
Saying that, Theodore did what no one had been able to do the whole time.
Bam!
He didn't kick Kevin. Instead, his open palm struck the floor.
Bhooff!
"You Motherfuckerl!"
Then, while forcefully kicking Kevin's face, he pulled himself.
With a strong push, he raised his body.
Standing under the pressure of gravity, towering on his feet.
Then, he took a step forward.
A slow step, a heavy step, a firm step.
He didn't cover his body in energy, nor focus on repelling the gravity field.
No, no.
He had memorized the pattern of energy movement through his body and the flow of his own energy, then aligned his energy to match it.
That was Sensing and Absorption.
He managed to absorb a minuscule amount of the surrounding energy, restoring his own, and at the same time making that minuscule amount his.
"...Impossible."
Kevin uttered in disbelief.
His words reflected the others' emotions.
Only those who taste the experience realize it; only those who collide with it realize the enormity of the walls called difficulties.
Under the pressure of this energy field, before the crushing despair of gravity, Theodore stood on his feet!
Just how strong is he...?
Unconscious thoughts surfaced.
Just how strong is he!
Why him?
Why him!
Why not me!
"Haaaaaaa!"
Inhaling the crisp air, Theodore spread his arms, closing his eyes under everyone's gaze.
The midday sun reflected on the body of a red-haired youth, while blood covered his face, a slight smile on his lips.
But the shock didn't end here.
"Hahaha."
A light laugh.
"You really are something, Sa-hyung."
A dry laugh, but tinged with a strange joy.
And while staring fiercely at Theodore, Kevin was also standing.
Theodore thought he would be angry, from the fact that Kevin was still keeping up.
But.
He smiled with joy.
"I truly love you so very much, Sa-je!"
To compete with me to the last breath, yes, like this, exactly like this!
"Let's kill each other!"
Kevin, in turn, also laughed.
Saying that, Kevin advanced, passing through the door.
And Theodore didn't lag behind; in fact, he was slightly ahead.
The sight was simply...
Extremely beautiful.