I frequently visited the rose garden in the house I grew up in. My mother used to tell me I was just like the roses. She probably meant to tell me I was beautiful, but I felt stifled among them all. Despite that feeling, the rose garden was my only comfort place when my mother was gone. I could ignore where I was when I was in the garden, but only for a moment. The garden was still a part of my father's domain, and I was caged.
When I was thirteen, my horns started to grow. The twin horns that grew above each of my temples were a dark purple that got lighter at the tips. With the appearance of the tall horns, my Human mother disappeared. Afterward, I was raised by the people who worked in the large mansion. I never saw more than a silhouette of my father — a large figure with two tall horns.
For five years after my mother disappeared, I remained in that house. For the first year, I'd sleep in my mother's bed and cry, wondering where she went. By the second year, I'd cemented the idea into my head, that my mother had left me because I grew those horns on my head. My resentment towards my absentee father grew. The employees of the house told me he had a great plan for me, but I wouldn't let myself be a part of it. When I turned eighteen, I ran away.
Living on my allowance and pawned off jewelry wasn't hard, but getting more money was. Those dreadful horns on my head wouldn't go away and try as I did, I couldn't transform like other Monsters could. When I couldn't get a daytime job anywhere convenient I looked to nighttime jobs. Vecherinka's night clubs were Monster friendly, and I was able to get a job as a barback. In time I was able to become a proper bartender.
Even in Vecherinka, my horns were a point of contention. Although Humans couldn't do anything to really physically hurt me, it didn't stop them from trying. Groups of Humans would corner me and hurl all sorts of verbal and physical abuse at me. I let them. I felt like I deserved it. I hated being half Monster just as much as they hated Monsters. I never associated with Monsters, and although deep down I knew that not all of them were evil, I hated them. I hated the Monsters that raised me in that house, I hated my father, and I hated myself.
***
The City didn't evoke any sense of wonder in me. There were no real opportunities here, and part of me was paranoid that my father's existence would come back to bite me in the ass one way or another.
I was up late often, thanks to my job. A part of me was envious, hearing all the people my age come in drones and act as if everything was so new and beautiful, but I'd seen The City from above, atop the hill I'd grown up on. Up there, The City felt so small.
"It will be yours," my nanny told me when I looked down at it.
Objectively, it was definitely a beautiful sight; those sparkling towers and lights from high above. I didn't know what the full extent of my father's plans for me were, but I knew I didn't want anything to do with whatever was his. Even if I was still where he could reach, I preferred the "freedom" I had living as a somewhat regular girl in the City. Even if I wasn't socially suited for the job I had, and even if I had limited options for renting a place because of my horns, I was living just fine all on my own. All on my own.
I was all on my own.
To be completely honest, I hate being alone.
When I woke up, I got ready for the day. During breakfast, I watched videos and romantic dramas which did well to make me swoon and squeal and also make me feel more alone. I didn't have social media and my contacts were all work contacts, so I didn't speak to anyone outside of work either. I'm sure they tried to invite me to get togethers in the past but they'd since given up. Then, when I had to go out for any reason – which was usually work – I would commute to Vecherinka and continue to feel alone.
My Human coworkers made me feel awkward, and I felt anxiety grip me when I even thought of befriending a Human. My Monster coworkers were kind, but they were Monsters; I didn't want to befriend any Monsters. The only person I spoke to regularly was Riza.
Looking at my wristwatch, I took note of the time. Five o'clock. This was when Riza appeared. Looking to the entrance of the club, I saw her come in as usual. Riza looked like a comic strip: Her skin was pale and her hair was black, and her clothes matched. She always dressed well and covered her eyes with dark shades. It was wishful thinking on my part, but she always seemed to come and see me.
What an embarrassing idea, I thought.
But as usual, Riza took a seat in front of me.
"Hey there, Valya," she said.
Her voice was deep and husky.
"Riza, hello," I smiled. "What will it be today?"
"A Copper Mule, please," Riza said.
Riza always ordered the same two drinks.
I prepared her drink and set the glass in front of her. She smiled at me and took a sip. She sat quietly as she drank, as always looking out to the room for a while.
"You know, I could always have this at home, but I come here anyway," Riza said, turning to me. I could see myself reflected in her shades.
"Why's that?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"I like to watch other people," she turned her head towards the rest of the room, "I'm not very energetic or social, but I can get my fill watching everyone go about their days much more interestingly."
"Well, I suppose this is as good a place as any. " I remarked.
Riza turned back to me, her hidden eyes no doubt observing me.
"You mustn't do what I do though. You don't want the world to leave you behind, Valya. You could do so much more," she said, her smile steady.
I stared at her for a moment, my blank expression reflected back at me from her glasses.
"You're right," I said, puzzled, but wanting to move on.
"I know," Riza said and took another sip.
Riza was often cryptic. She was eccentric, and I heard gossip about her from coworkers. They theorized she was actually the owner of this place, Kandelika, and she was a disguised Monster. I could believe it, with how odd she was. She always came alone, something Humans didn't often do. I brushed it off though, I enjoyed speaking to her anyway. When Riza had had her fill, she paid and tipped handsomely. Sometimes she left without a word, just like today. I watched her go and looked out to the rest of the club.
"You could do so much more," I muttered under my breath absentmindedly.
Her words filled my head.
***
Getting home was a drag. Being at work wasn't my favorite either, but it wasn't always sure if I'd get home alright. Past the red lights of Vecherinka, groups of Humans waited for the lone Monster leaving the district or groups that contained Monsters and Humans together. Sometimes I'd pass by a Monster being hassled to which I'd look forward and rush by. But other times I wasn't so lucky, and perhaps as if to bite me in the ass for being a bad samaritan, no one would come to my rescue.
Once I'd walked to Nizhnayaya, I'd try to hail a cab, but it wouldn't always work. They'd drive right by, or stop for others. Drivers didn't like to stop for lone Monsters. On lucky nights, I would actually get a cab. Or I wouldn't miss the bus. But on most nights, I had to walk home.
Tonight was one of those times – and I could already see them from a block away. Sighing, I considered my options.
Being a bit over six feet tall didn't make the horns on my head any less noticeable. They probably noticed me already too. I could make a detour, but I could be followed and others could be there as well. I continued to walk, deciding to just get tonight's karma over with.
The group was quick to surround me when I got close.
"Look at her, I guess she felt confident today," said a man with heavy eye bags.
He looked like he'd fall over if I so much as brushed against him.
At least six Humans surrounded me, all men. I was probably – well, most definitely – stronger than all of them. I was painfully aware of my strength once it had begun to manifest in my childhood, and I've had too many accidents. I wouldn't use my strength, even now.
The group spared no time in becoming physical. Provocations were hurled at me, but when I remained apathetic throughout, they got angrier. Something hit me hard on the back of my head, making me stumble. Another blow to my legs made me fall to the ground. Not even a moment after, I was being beaten.
Even if I was physically stronger, the repeated blows did start to hurt. All I could really do was curl up on the ground, covering my head. Funnily enough, I dreaded the idea of my horns being damaged. As much as I hated them, the thought of the pain was scary.
Then, as suddenly as the assault had begun, it paused.
"Who're you?" I heard one of the men yell.
Unwilling to get up yet, I stayed curled up, listening as the group's yells seemed to be directed at something else now. I raised my head after a flash of blue light lit up the dim street. The scene playing out before me was unlike anything I'd ever seen before.
Dressed in dark clothes, a man was making easy work of the group that had attacked me. None of his movements were wasted, each kick and punch accompanied by a fleeting blue flash. The Humans were powerless against him.
He wasn't a normal person.
Before I knew it, he was the only one standing. My eyes took him in as he turned towards me. He had a relaxed air about him as if he hadn't downed a whole group of people. The first thing I noticed about him was his hair. It was a chartreuse yellow – a stark contrast to his dark skin and clothing. What's more, it was big. His hair grew freely into a natural afro. It was quite eye-catching... I felt like I'd seen it before.
He came towards me and extended a hand.
"Are you alright?" he asked me. He had a faint accent I'd never heard before.
"I'm alright…" I said, taking his hand. He helped me up and I looked around at the unconscious and groaning men on the floor. I looked back at him, feeling a bit bewildered.
"You're not Human?" I blurted out the first thought that came to mind.
It was the only thing I could say after seeing what he'd done. He looked nothing like a Monster, but there was no way a Human could move like that
"We should probably get out of here first," he said.
***
My rescuer introduced himself as Kodeko. Kodeko explained to me how he'd noticed the commotion while going toward Vecherinka as we walked. I didn't actually know where we were walking to, but it was along my route home.
"Thanks for stepping in," I said, still feeling odd about it all.
The last thing I ever expected was for anyone to help me.
"Don't mention it. Let's make a stop here," he nodded his head towards the convenience store we were passing.
I entered the store with him. A bored cashier paid us no mind, and I stared at Kodeko's back, realizing I'd completely fallen into his rhythm, following him without question. I'd been preoccupied waiting for a chance to ask him about what he'd done back there.
Kodeko looked through the shelves of the first aid section and grabbed a kit.
"This should have everything," he shook it and smiled at me.
"Wait, that's not for me is it?" I realized what was going on.
"Of course it is. I couldn't send you off all battered."
I followed after him again as he walked back to the front, my lips pressed together tightly as I stared into the back of his head. I watched the transaction, shifting my weight from one foot to another. I saw Kodeko and I displayed on the security cam monitor behind the cashier and I realized how messy my hair looked. My cheeks warmed and I smoothed the stray hairs. Afterward, we stepped outside again, going over to the bench outside the store.
"Why're you being so nice?" I asked him as he opened up the kit. Kodeko looked at me, a puzzled expression on his face.
"Why wouldn't I be?" he responded.
"Well... It was dangerous, and I'm a Monster, so I would've been fine. My skin doesn't even scar."
"Then why didn't you fight back? Or run?"
When I was silent, he sighed. He had me give him my arm and began to treat a bleeding wound I hadn't noticed on the backside of it.
"Nevermind all that. I wasn't going to walk by someone getting attacked like that. I'm more than strong enough to take a few guys like that," Kodeko said.
I watched his face as he worked, then asked, "You're not a Monster, are you?"
Kodeko paused, then shook his head.
"No, I'm... it's hard to explain, but I'm Human."
"You're a Human with Monster-like strength. Are you planning on becoming a hero?" I asked, my voice coming out more harshly than I intended.
"I have to. I want to. You don't sound so convinced," Kodeko responded with a chuckle.
"Sorry. That sounded way meaner than I wanted it to. I don't talk to people much. Can you tell me more?"
Kodeko finished patching up my arm and looked out to the street, probably pondering his response.
"Well, I wanna get out of here – The City, I mean. And it feels like I'm chasing a myth, but I wanna defeat The Tsar," he said.
My heart began to beat a little faster.
"The Tsar? That's a grand feat," I murmured, staring out onto the street as well.
"Yeah. I can do it. I either die trying or die doing nothing at all."
"If you succeed, I could get out of here too. So I guess I'll be rooting for you," I said. "Thanks for everything, Kodeko. I really appreciate it,"
"It's no problem. And, Valya?" Kodeko held out the first aid kit to me. "Even if your skin doesn't scar, your heart does. I hope you'll treat yourself a bit better."
I took the kit, gripping the handle and avoiding his gaze.
"You're really nosey," I mumbled.
"Isn't that the quality of a hero?" Kodeko grinned.
I opened my mouth to respond but no words came back. He was right. My eyes met Kodeko's and after a pause, I closed my mouth and pressed my lips together again, making Kodeko laugh.
"You know I'm right. Anyway, are you alright getting home?" he asked.
"I'll be fine, it's just the outside of Vecherinka that sucks. I can't impose on you any longer," I said, standing up abruptly. "Hey, can I have your number?"
I don't know what possessed me at that moment.
Kodeko looked a little surprised but took out his phone, nodding.
"Sure," he said and I followed suit as we exchanged numbers. Afterward, we bid each other farewell and I promptly walked home.
***
I spent around two days just staring at Kodeko's number on my phone. I felt a bit creepy looking him up on social media, but there wasn't much to see anyway. He hadn't posted in over a year, and there were only a handful of posts on the singular account I found. I supposed he wasn't so into that kind of thing, but then again, neither was I.
"A hero," I muttered as I stared at the popcorn ceiling of my room.
Riza's words echoed in my head as well. She said I could do so much more. Was it selfish of me to suddenly ponder about heroes after being saved? Despite the fact I'd never so much as helped anyone else? I quickly sat up and looked at my vanity mirror. I stared at my horns and frowned. I was half Monster and just as strong as any other Monster, yet I did nothing. Maybe Kodeko was like me and not fully Human… but he was much braver. And charming. He even saved a Monster like me.
I mentally reprimanded myself, I lay down again and stared at Kodeko's contact once more. I always fall into pessimistic thoughts like that. I thought of Kodeko's words again, closing my eyes and remembering the resolve in his eyes.
To defeat The Tsar and leave the City. It was so selfish of me but I wanted it too. I touched one of my horns and thought back to my childhood, my father's silhouette, my horns growing, and the disappearance of my mother. If I could beat him, and if I could leave this prison, I'm sure I could be happy.
Gathering my courage for a few more moments, I stared at the green call button. I let out a breath and pressed it, calling Kodeko's number. It rang for a few moments before he answered.
"Hey, Valya What's up?" Kodeko's voice came through my phone.
"Hi. Kodeko. I was thinking about what you said last time and... I want to help," I paused. "Oh! But before you say anything I wanted to say that I can help with The Tsar. The Tsar he's actually… he's actually my father."
He didn't say anything for a moment, and I felt terribly awkward, wincing at my subpar delivery, and being on a phone call for something other than work, but then he spoke.
"Wait, did you say The Tsar's your father?"