"Hahaha! I never thought we Yellow Turbans would one day produce a scholar!" Guan Hai laughed heartily. "Once we surrender in a few days, I'll go learn to read too! Come, come, write my name for me. I've been called Guan Hai for so many years, but I don't even know how to write those two characters. Yuanjian, write it down for me!"
For common folk, becoming literate was no easy feat. Someone like Liao Hua, who could now read military texts, was indeed an anomaly.
As Liao Hua wrote Guan Hai's name on the ground with his hand, a group of Yellow Turban leaders eagerly gathered around, their faces full of envy.
"Our late leader, Xuan Gao, sacrificed his life to give us this opportunity. Lord Xuande has already promised to teach the people under his rule how to read," Liao Hua said, his eyes reflecting admiration as he thought of the leader he had never met.
"No wonder Lord Xuande is so respected! I've never called anyone 'lord' so naturally before," Guan Hai said as he looked at the two characters on the ground, vaguely recognizing the shapes. He vaguely recalled that Zhang Jiao had written his name in a similar form before.
"Liao, help us write our names too. We've never seen our names written down," another leader chimed in, and the rest quickly echoed the sentiment.
"No problem," Liao Hua nodded. He proceeded to write down the names of everyone present, and they all gazed at the ground with excitement, newfound respect for Liao Hua in their eyes. Literacy always inspired admiration.
That night, Liao Hua brought a gourd of strong alcohol for disinfecting wounds and a dried chicken as he entered Guan Hai's tent. The Yellow Turbans didn't have many tents; many of them simply gathered some branches and leaves to sleep on, with no blankets to speak of.
"Yuanjian, you have something to say to me, don't you?" Guan Hai's mouth watered as he saw the food Liao Hua was carrying. After eating nothing but vegetable dumplings for so long, he couldn't help but drool at the sight of dried chicken.
"Eat first, then we'll talk," Liao Hua said, handing the dried chicken and gourd of wine to Guan Hai.
Guan Hai accepted the food and wine but hesitated, then sighed and put them down. "Yuanjian, speak your mind. The brothers can't even fill their bellies with vegetable dumplings. I can't eat this. I'll chop it up and make porridge for everyone."
If it weren't for the loyalty and camaraderie among the Yellow Turbans, they would have scattered long ago. The fact that the Yellow Turbans in Qingzhou had survived without internal conflict was due to the strong leadership and the bond among them.
"Sigh, Guan Hai, do you realize the trouble you've caused?" Liao Hua opened the gourd and poured two cups of wine.
"What trouble?" Guan Hai asked, puzzled. "If it's about my siege of Beihai, I'll just surrender when the time comes. There's nothing to worry about."
The aroma of the wine was tempting, and seeing Liao Hua pour him a cup, Guan Hai picked it up and took small sips. He couldn't even remember the last time he had tasted alcohol, but this wine was exceptionally good.
"Do you remember our late leader, Xuan Gao, the disciple of the Celestial Master, Zhang Jiao?" Liao Hua sighed.
"How could I forget? He was a hero of the Yellow Turbans. We still honor him with sacrifices throughout the year," Guan Hai replied indignantly. "If it weren't for him, could you be in Taishan right now, learning to read and write?"
"I remember. Without our leader, we Yellow Turbans would have been trapped and eventually exterminated in Qingzhou. He used his life to pave a bright future for us," Liao Hua's eyes welled up with tears. Now that he could read, he understood things he hadn't before.
"Yes, without him, we Yellow Turbans would have no path but death," Guan Hai said somberly as he drank. "But why did he have to die? I used to think it was because Taishan wouldn't accept Yellow Turban leaders, but you and Yuanfu are fine. Why did our leader have to die?"
"Because as long as the leader lived, the Yellow Turbans would always be seen as a threat. If he called for a fight, the Yellow Turbans would rise again. That's a risk that no one could ignore. Neither Yuanfu nor I have that kind of influence. Do you understand?" Liao Hua explained solemnly.
"I don't understand," Guan Hai shook his head. "The leader did so much for us. If he asked for our help, wouldn't it be right to give it? Wouldn't you, Liao Yuanjian?"
"Of course, we'd repay such kindness a hundredfold," Liao Hua said earnestly.
"That's what I thought. The leader did so much for us; it's only right we help him in return," Guan Hai said, clapping Liao Hua on the shoulder. "That's the way it should be."
Looking at the strong man in front of him, Liao Hua felt a deep sense of sorrow for the first time. Guan Hai simply couldn't understand the bigger picture.
"We should repay him, but as long as the leader lived, the Yellow Turbans would never be trusted. Lord Xuande would always see us as a threat. Imagine you're Lord Xuande, and after unifying the land, there's someone who could ruin everything at any moment. What would you do?" Liao Hua tried to explain.
"That wouldn't happen. If the leader were alive, he wouldn't do something like that," Guan Hai replied, his thinking simple and direct.
"It's about preventing that possibility. As long as the leader lived, we wouldn't have the life we want. The Yellow Turbans would always be seen as a danger," Liao Hua said heavily.
This time, Guan Hai didn't respond immediately. He nodded slowly, half-understanding.
"So, Yuanjian, what are you really trying to say? I still don't get it," Guan Hai asked after a while, picking up his cup and only realizing it was empty after taking a long sip. He scratched his head, confused.
"Sigh, it seems I can't make you understand quickly," Liao Hua sighed. He couldn't bring himself to say, "Only your death can save the remaining Yellow Turbans in Qingzhou."
"Hehehe..." Guan Hai chuckled dryly. "What can I say? I'm a simple man, not as smart as you. I'm just like Zhou Cang—a good fighter but not too bright."
Liao Hua said nothing more, just looked at Guan Hai with a sigh.
That night, Guan Hai tossed and turned, thinking about what Liao Hua had said until he finally fell asleep. But within an hour, he jolted awake. His muddled mind suddenly grasped the full meaning of Liao Hua's words. In an instant, he understood what Liao Hua had been trying to say but couldn't bring himself to say outright.
With bitterness swelling in his chest, Guan Hai thought to himself that he would have preferred to remain ignorant.