I can't sleep.
In Northern Dukedom, they all sleep so early. As an Earth-person, and someone who sleeps late at night, I can't get used to this. Even in the Central Empire, we sleep at 9pm! They sleep here at 7pm! That's sooo early! And because of exhaustion as well that I actually followed their time of sleep, now I woke up and the drowsines won't visit me again!
I turned my head to Lia and she's sleeping peacefully. Eri too.
I took a deep breath and opened my hands.
Because of Asher and Ziel's investigation, I only learned a few things from Asher. I can now control my mana, but Asher haven't taught me about making magic circles yet. As far as I know, magic circles have formulas and such to be able to cast a magic.
I once asked Lia to teach me magic but...
"I told you, you have to think like there's a fire in your hand—and then do it like this, and then swoosh it! And it'll go boom!"
Is what she told me. So, I decided not to ask her to be my magic teacher again.
I turned my head to the side drawer and opened it.
I'll just continue reading this book instead.
The last page I read is about how they were cursed. It really is cruel that even though they are celestial beings, they cannot defy the curses and orders of the Gods higher than them.
I opened the book and navigated the last page where I paused my reading.
[ The two gods were cursed, bound by a fate cruel and merciless. And their incarnations, who dared to rise and fight for their rightful freedom, became entangled in the curse as well.
Yet beneath the surface of rebellion and divine punishment, there lies a deeper transgression. One that the incarnations had kept hidden from the world. The forbidden love shared by the two of them. A love quietly accepted by the three remaining incarnations, who bore witness to it without protest.
But that love, sacred and unspoken, only served to deepen the cruelty of the curse.
It condemned 'him' to suffer a fate far more harrowing than death.
Every time 'she' died, 'he' would too—bound by a thread of soul and sorrow that could not be severed. And with each rebirth, 'he' would be cast into the world where 'she' had been reincarnated.
Yet 'she' would awaken with no memories of their past lives. No recollection of him, of their bond, or of the love they once shared.
But 'he' would remember—every time. ]
What? Two of them...became lovers too?!
Who!? There's no mention here! But...could it be Godmother Ashley? She's in another world, and was exiled from this world. And the 'he' here...who is it between Asher and Abel? Asher said he's been hopping worlds to look for the holy crystal, that means he wasn't reincarnated, right? As for Sir Abel...I don't know much about him yet.
I should continue reading this to find out.
***
"Ali? Are you alright? Did you not sleep well?" Brother Dae asked. We're currently at the attic of Sis Kae's mansion while waiting for Themis and Ryna to send our snacks here.
"I'm fine, brother..." I am not. I really couldn't sleep properly last night. I found out a lot of things, and I can't believe I'm finding out all those information myself.
I am confused and curious about everything I just read last night. I don't know if I should believe what's written in that book or not. I also wanted to see Asher to confirm everything in the book, but...there's no way I can. I don't know, I don't know anymore. Asher is a liar. Everything he told me before about the 'Astra's Three', were lies. I already know this, that he lied because he didn't want me to know about their past. But...I don't know, it's annoying. I can't even figure out why it annoys me.
Plus, during our conversation, Asher said that my godmother left the world after she sealed the so-called black magician. But what's written in this book contradicts that. My godmother was immediately exiled after the Gods have decided on their curses. Her curse includes the banishment from this world, so she can never go back here. So, how did she sealed the black magician? Even when they unsealed Lia, they mentioned about my godmother. Could it be that she really was the one to sealed her?
Another one that confuses me is when Asher said that the black magician had subordinates that initiated the war years ago. Is that actually true? Or could it be that Virexon's subordinates were the ones that started the war, and Asher only lied to me to follow the story written in the Odilia Book? That Athalia really is the black magician?
"Are you truly fine, Princess Ali? Did you have a nightmare? Was the bed not comfortable? Is it not to your liking? Is it too small for---"
"Calm down, Sis Kae. Our room is absolutely comfortable and I love everything! From the walls, floors, and the designs! Don't worry about me please," I spoke, trying to smile properly so they won't be concerned about me.
"Ohh...understood," she said, even Lia is staring at me. I wonder what she's thinking?
'Do you have some questions regarding the book that you read last night?' My eyes widened as I turned to Lia. She leaned on the backrest of the couch here and crossed her arms, looking at me with a meaningful smile. I thought they haven't finished reading the book? Or maybe they found it boring because it's just their lives written there?
'Yes, actually...Alina, the fourth Astra. And Asher---were they lovers?' I asked.
It was written in the book. That besides the two Gods, there are two incarnations who also fell in love with each other. If it was a taboo for the Gods, it wasn't allowed for them as well, since they are basically cousins. Raini also tried to intervene when Asher and Alina were about to get another curse. Raini saw them as their children, but he also confirmed that he is not against of the romantic relationship between them. After all, the first humans in Lumia were made by their divine essense as well, and were tasked to multiply despite the fact that they are basically blood-related. However, Raini couldn't stop the other Gods from removing the curse, but out of respect for Raini, they decided to not add a curse, but turn it into something...far more unbearable.
The 'he', was Asher, and the 'she' was Alina.
'Yeah...' I lowered down my head as I stare at my clasped hands. I don't know how I should respond to that. They've been living for more than a thousand years, and their life...once peaceful and quiet, became miserable just because they loved each other romantically? How...cruel is that?
'And did you know? Your mother, Iliana, got your name from our sister, Alina? She said you got the same hair as Ali, and that you're as pretty as her. So she decided to name you after her,' I know Lia just said that to try and change the atmosphere of the topic, haha.
Does that mean Mom read the book as well?
'Don't get confused. We never let Iliana read the book. But, Ashley told her stories about Ali,' it looks like she guessed what's on my mind. Or maybe she read it?
'I got her hair?'
'Yep, her eyes are red as well. Her appearance copies her creator, Aisha,' I can already visualize how beautiful she is. I'm pretty sure she is extremely gorgeous.
Somehow, knowing that Asher actually have a lover before, and that they were cursed as well for loving each other...it makes me pity them. And why is my heart racing so fast? Is it because of empathy? Their stories, all of them, it breaks my heart.
'Is there no way for Sir Abel to...get his divine layers back?' I asked. Sir Abel's divine layers was reduced to two, just a level above from the normal layers of the humans.
'He's trying to find a way with the help of Deo. Raini also told us before, it is not impossible to re-made the layers...but it's been how many centuries and he still haven't found a way,' Lia replied. I pressed my lips together as I stare at her.
'How about you...?' Out of them all, hers is the most painful, isn't it? Bearing the Unyielding Flame for all her life, having her flesh and internals burning as long as she live.
"Haha..." Sis Kae, Brother, and Eri all turned to Lia when she chuckled. She then looked at me, her smile so soft and gentle. I don't know what's she's thinking about. If I don't know anytiing about her curse, I would think she's not facing any problems at all.
"Your Highnesses, Young Lady. The snacks and tea are here," Themis spoke from outside the room.
"Come inside, Themis," brother Dae answered, and the door opened after he gave them permission to enter.
Themis, Ryna, and two more maids placed the snacks on the table between us. There are cookies, cupcakes, breads, muffins, macarons, and more. There's also two kettles here, the other one definitely have honey milk inside.
"Thanks everyone," Sis Kae and I said at the same time, we looked at each other and then laughed together.
"Now, let's eat!" I spoke cheerfully.
But I still can't ease my mind and my heart from all the information I got. I am so confused.
'Lia, was the one who sealed you really my godmother?' I asked, reaching for the chocolate cupcake in front of me.
'Not her personally, but her mirror clone. She can't go back in this world anymore, unless the curse is undone. So when the remaining Gods sensed that Virexon came back, they informed us right away. Sis Ash couldn't come here, so we made a mirror clone for her...actually, you'll read it in the book anyway. After all, that book writes our story...everything that happens in our lives is written in there, up to now,'
Lia explained. I was a bit caught by her last words, but I ignored it. Maybe I should really just continue with the book.
I haven't read anything yet about Dearil. Should I just skip everything and look for his name? Yes, I should try that.
Come to think of it, Asher said that Dearil was born after Raini planted the Essense Tree, so why wasn't it mentioned in the book yet?
Maybe...everything that Asher told me includes lies?
I don't really know anymore.
'Lia, if my godmother can't go back here. How did she became my godmother? And how did Mom knew her?' I asked. I need to get answers for all these questions in my head.
'Your mother...was once an adventurous lady. Before she ascended to become their house's head, when her family was still peaceful...she traveled the whole Ciera Empire. And found something that should not be found,' What is it? And why is it not written in the Odilia book?
'Is it my godmother's mirror clone?' She nodded her head once, so no one would notice it. Even though we're talking in our minds, we still try to converse with Sis Kae and the others, that way they won't be suspicious of us.
'That's right...' I did not respond for a moment.
'Is it actually made of mirror?'
'No. It looks exactly like how Sis Ash looks. Using her own magic, she woke Sis Ash up again...' Ohh, that's kinda cool.
'Iliana may not know that Sis Ash is one of the Astras that time. But as Sis Ash tells her our story, she figured it out. They even became best friends. Haha...she had the audacity to make an Astra a godmother for her daughter, and even named you after Ali...' I can't help but smile after hearing those. My mom was amazing, huh?
'Ahh, come to think of it Lia...if Asher is here, where is the fourth Astra?' I asked. Lia turned her head to me, and then gave me a blank expression.
'She'll come to us once she remember everything...I'm sure she will remember her identity, now that she's back in her world,' I see.
'Won't Asher look for her?' I asked.
'...'
She stayed quiet, so I turned my head to her. She had her eyes closed, and her head leaning on the backrest.
'He won't be able to find her,' What does that even mean? I thought she's in this world as world?
'Why is that?' I might be a little nosy right now, but I just can't stop asking.
'Unless she remembers it all,' So, they won't be able to see each other unless Alina remember her identity as one of the Astra?
But, well, good for them now. Alina is back in her original world, so she will definitely remember her past memories and her duties in Lumia.
As of now, the fourth Astra is just out there...living her life peacefully, huh? I can't wait to meet her.
'Lia, Asher said that the one who wrote the Odilia book was Virexon...right?' I noticed her creasing her forehead. Is that not right?
'Hmm, that I don't know. Or maybe he really did? Because why else would I be known as a fucki—as a black magician if he didn't?' She was about to cuss again. Good thing she refrained herself from saying it.
'But I heard that the ones who writes the Odilia book are the heads of the family. The original copy of the book is passed down to every generation's family head and they write their life down there, their achievemens and such,' Wow? I never knew that. They are amazing! Does that mean Aunt Chan have the original book right now? And is the reason why Mom's story with Godmother Ashley isn't written in the book because she chose not to include it? After all, Godmother Ashley is an Astra. It might cause issues if she revealed that she's friends with an Astra, right?
Oh, anyways, if Felicia Odilia died...that means it was really Virexon who wrote Felicia's life in the book, and he tweaked it to be favorable to himself and make the Selene a villain? He's a demon, indeed.
'I see...' that's the only words I could say.
Asher truly have lied to me, but I understand why he did that. He didn't want me to know anything about his, and he planned to hide it from me. After all, I'm just someone he babysits, nothing more. I just hope he doesn't remember his lover everytime he mention my name...I hope I am not hurting him because of this name.
Wait...Asher's current age is three years older than me, right? Does this mean he was only three years old when he made that barrier in Antares Palace before? Dang, he's really amazing. This means, Alina Astra is also three years older than me, huh? After all, they die and gets reincarnated at the same time.
Hah, the history of this world is just so...painful. Painful, complex, confusing, and gives me a headache. I really should just look for Dearil's real name in the book. I need to release him before Asher and Ziel comes back.
***