Well, that's definitely a reaction at least…
Her brows frowned almost instantly after I said that, and she got up from my lap with a sigh.
Am I in trouble?
I feel like that's the case…
Even though I don't know why…
Was my answer that bad? I honestly thought it sounded pretty romantic in my head at least. But given her scornful expression, I think I may have actually failed the test, if that was supposed to be one.
"Listen…"
She turned towards me, pointing a finger straight into my chest as she spoke.
"I get the flirty part, and I do appreciate it, but above all I'd appreciate it if you thought about your own safety once in a while, instead of how to make my heart flutter."
"I don't recall not thinking about myself though…"
Yeah, she definitely didn't like that one. Because this time, she straight up closed up into my face.
"'I can't pity myself because I have you!' As romantic as it may be, in your case it's simply worrying, you idiot. You should absolutely pity yourself. Granted, I don't mean in a "I'm a total loser" way, but in a "I should try and keep myself safer!" Way, you cursed little shit."
"Cursed…Didn't we skip a few levels of unlucky to get there?"
"Don't dodge it. I know you're a smooth talker, but it won't work with me."
"…alright, alright. I'll try. Though I have no idea what exactly I should even do. Like, it's not as if there's a clear threat I just have to avoid, no? How do I even keep myself safe from misfortune so great I may as well be cursed?"
With a hmph, she got out of my face, definitely seeming a lot calmer now. As she replied, a cup of tea appeared in her right hand, as she sipped casually.
"You're not wrong there. Misfortune comes in all forms and shapes after all."
"Right?"
"However, there is a specific thing that you can, or rather, you have been doing already either way, but regardless."
I'd need to be a lot dumber than I'm willing to give myself credit for, to not pick up on what she's saying by now…
"Getting stronger, huh?"
"I'm not telling you to speed run things. Your training isn't something we can force after all, not in your condition currently. But you should at the very least keep it consistent, no matter what."
"You said it yourself, I'm already doing that. So what else exactly should I even do?"
She sighed. Putting her cup down on the table, before Turing towards me again.
"Genuinely, you're so slow when it comes to yourself that I sometimes forget how smart you really are."
"I don't recall being particularly smart either though…"
"Shut up."
"Yes mam…"
"While unpredictable in nature, misfortune is still predictable to some extent in outcome. Take for example not too long ago, when that random guy bumped into Nala in the street, insulted her, and you almost chopped his head off."
"That- would've probably not ended well if you didn't appear, now that I think about it."
"Probably is an understatement. As I said back then, you would've just gotten yourself a ticket straight into the newspapers, as the killer Ashford Eldest son, before even clearing your name."
"That's-… ohhhh. I see what you mean now."
It really is simple enough to make me feel slow for not noticing.
"Granted, there's nothing you can currently do if the blue haired lizard or other strong opponents that out league you appear, but that's exactly why I'm here. You may not be able to prevent violent misfortune most of the time, but you can avoid the latter type. Whether it's someone provoking you, mingling in businesses you clearly shouldn't, going in dangerous zones, and so on."
"Putting my emotions aside and avoiding aggravating or escalating my situation, right?"
"Though I don't actually expect a mindless no brain hero like you to actually manage to stay out of dangerous situations, you can, and should avoid escalation 90 times out of 100."
"I'm not a hero-"
"Yeah, yeah. We're not going over that. It's besides the point for now at least. Your credibility aside, we've already seen it countless times in action. Why did you go inside Alduin's barrier? To help your father. Why did you cause a commotion in front of those gate guardians? To help Maia. What happened in the alley? You saved Juna and Jun. I'm well aware that it will happen again, which is exactly why I'm not expecting you to stay out of your heroic shaningans."
"I just did that because I wanted to, not because I'm a hero…"
"If you say so, my dear. But regardless, I'm hoping you got the point by now. Though not even I can always be there in case of an emergency, I will still come, no matter what. You can rest assured about that. However, I need you to also stay put as much as you can, so there won't be any escalation, nor need for my intervention."
It's gotten a lot lengthier and scolding than I thought. But I can't deny any of what she's saying, no matter how much I'd try most likely. Mio is right. It's annoying on one end honestly, being scolded so openly and casually, by the person I love and all… above all however, its genuinely heartwarmingly comforting, in the deepest way possible.
I'm annoyed by what she's saying.
But I can't deny it.
I won't.
I don't want to.
I understand everything she's saying.
Which is why I'll do as she says.
Because it's so obvious that it would be stupid to think otherwise.
She's talking from the perspective of someone who's genuinely worried for my wellbeing.
Similar to how mom, dad or Maia often are towards me, yet completely different.
A straight face and a scolding tone that leaks not a single drop of malice.
Words so sharp, yet not a single cut in sight.
Of course, getting scolded in itself isn't a pleasant thing, you know? It most definitely hurts.
But instead of physical pain, or even emotional pain, it's a bit more complicated.
Let me think for a second…
Ah, I think I get it.
It doesn't hurt because she's being strict in itself.
It hurts because she needed to tell me all of this, in a scolding manner.
It hurts because I genuinely think I shouldn't have even made her need to do it.
It hurts because I made her worry.
"I see."
I turned towards her, which she noticed and reciprocated.
"You're right, Mio. I should've been more careful until now. I'm honestly surprised I haven't caused myself any more real trouble out of a trivial matter, outside of that one guy that pushed Nala."
"That may just be your one and only speck of luck."
"Haha, maybe. But still, I get what you're saying."
It's weird.
Really weird.
Even though I just got scolded, I feel absolutely no discomfort anymore, nor pain.
On the contrary; my lips were curled upwards.
"There's no point in understanding what I'm saying if you're not-"
"I know. Which is why, I promise. I'll do my best to stay as safe as I can- although I can't guarantee it in certain situations… but still, in most others, I will. Probably. Yeah, I get why you're worried now, actually. I'm not really convincing myself either…"
"Tell me about it, you damn smooth talker."
"But even then. Even if I can't fully promise it, I'll still try. I'll try to make you worry, as least as possible from now on."
"As least as possible, huh?"
She sighed again. However, this time, her lips also curled up the same way as mine.
"I guess that works for now."
I feel like there was no other way of going around it.
Putting aside motive, it is true that I do act in dangerous situations more often than not. Though I didn't mention it since it technically wasn't my misfortune to run into it, there was also the incident with Lina where we got involved, and ended up arresting a whole group of child traffickers.
But still, I'm also aware of how many scenarios could actually arise, which are avoidable in terms of escalation, or aggravation. So while I can promise to try and keep myself safer than I have until now… that's only on paper.
It's pretty obvious that Mio is aware of that too.
"Want a sip?"
She said while picking her cup up again.
"No, I'm not sure why my gut feeling is telling me so, but I have a really bad feeling about that tea you're drinking…"
"Hm? You think it's poisoned or something?"
"Rather, it's more like I have a feeling I definitely won't enjoy it."
She smiled.
"Ehhh… you really do have great guts then."
"What kind of tea is that?"
"It's the same as what you and your family were drinking earlier, actually. But mine has a single extra ingredient- or I guess, its essence."
"Like some kind of juice?"
"Something like that, sure. It's close enough, I think?"
"Well, I have a feeling I should probably not find out what it is yet, so let's leave it at that. I'll have another regular cup myself though."
She didn't move a single finger, probably because she was in the middle of a sip, but regardless a cup of completely normal, and pretty damn good by the way, tea appeared on the table.
"Thanks."
"Are you sure you don't wanna ask any more questions? It's not always that you get to be alone with me after all."
"There's so many questions that I would ask, that I think it would just spoil the mood. I'd rather not. Not to mention…"
I paused, in order to take a sip.
"Even if it'll be as Luna, you'll always be by my side, no? So why does it matter if I'll have time alone with you or not, if I'll know Luna is you?"
I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart thought… that things would come out that way.
-no. Perhaps I didn't think so, rather, I hoped that would be the case.
Her expression changed instantly.
Not putting down her cup, and not even turning around towards me this time, it simply changed.
This was the first time I had seen Mio look so stressed, and hurt at the same time.
"That's why I asked if you're sure…"
"What do you-"
"Why do you think I never told you Luna is me until now?"
And at that moment, with that simple question, I was forced to face the reality that completely shattered my hopes.
I frowned in distress, my heartbeat racing with panic.
"W-wait, isn't that a bit too sudden??!"
"Sudden? You've already known Luna for around half a year or so, you know? Yet I've never mentioned a single thing."
Please, please, please don't tell me I'm right…
"Wait, seriously- Mio!"
"I'm sorry, Cael. I was the one who told you there are a lot of questions I won't answer, so maybe that also conditioned you into not asking anything relating to the matter."
"I'm telling you to wait!"
As panic took over me, I plunged forward, turning her around facing me, from the shoulders. The cup fell from her hand, yet no liquid spilled.
No shattering occurred.
And the cup simply disappeared.
"But that didn't mean I didn't want you to still ask… about us. Why do you love a total stranger? Why do I also love you?"
But she didn't stop.
"Seriously, Mio… t-this… it's not funny…"
"Why do I know you? Why do you know me yet you don't remember a single thing? Why did you react like that when you first saw me?"
"Please…"
Her face was distressed yet somehow seemingly straight. Her tone was so monotone it stung at least 10x harder than the scolding from earlier.
"Why did you think it would ruin the mood if you ask? Why were you right? Why are you not asking me? Do you really want to find out? Why don't you?"
"Stop… please!"
I know it was pointless. Shaking her up in a desperate attempt at making her stop. But I couldn't help myself.
I don't know why I reacted that way either.
"Why are you so happy to be in my presence? Why are you so desperate for me to stop addressing this? Why do you know, yet you don't remember?"
"M-Mio… come on, hey!! This isn't funny!! Mio!! Let's just go back to normal, okay?!"
"Why are you assuming things will go back to normal, and I'll just play the double agent as Luna and Mio with you, simultaneously? Why were you hoping things would turn out that way? Why do you feel that way?"
Clicking my tongue in frustration, I let go of her shoulders, and grabbed her clothes instead. My head was instinctively lowering itself in her chest.
"Please… stop."
"And most importantly… the question you've surely thought of in the back of your head before, or rather, probably ignored it until now, and maybe never even got to properly ask yourself."
"N-no… don't say it… please."
"If I know so much about you, even though we've never interacted before in the 7 years since you got reincarnated, then that must mean I've known you since before that, right?"
Tears began rolling down my face. I must've been making a whole mess out of her clothes.
Damn it… so she does know.
"Yet… there's only one possible person that fits that criteria. However, as we've already asserted by now, you have really good guts, don't you? Which means, there's no doubt that you can already tell."
Don't say it…
I'm begging you!
"The fact that I'm Not "Satou Hana"'s Reincarnation. Though I don't know the exact context, I do know that the Goddess told you something about her shortly before her death. That something should've helped you piece things together by now."
…it's exactly as you're saying.
"S-she did… s-she t-told me… "she's not the one…I'm sorry." T-then later that day… Hana…"
"Died. Right?"
I clenched my jaw. Damn it. She really doesn't intend on leaving this unclear. I couldn't reply.
"Then why did she apologize if she knew? You've probably figured out she's a goddess even without me referring to her as such, so why? If she knew Hana would die, why not tell you how to stop it instead? I guess it was just inevitable. Some things are simply not meant to be interfered with after all."
I couldn't even think straight at that point. Simply clinging on to her, I silently listened.
"Why would she apologize? Did she cause it? That's unlikely. I'm sure you already know she's on your side after all, there's no way you'd misunderstand that. To begin with, what does "she's not the one" even mean, right?"
"That's a pretty odd thing to say about a girl that's about to die. Why wasn't she the one? Who is the one? But… I'm pretty sure those answers have already been answered inside you, the moment you saw me earlier in court, right?"
I nodded.
She was absolutely right.
At that moment, when I first laid eyes on Mio, and later on during the court when I was filled with euphoria from our unparalleled synchronicity and terribly good match, I already got to that answer.
"That's right, Cael. The reason she apologized to you was simple. She simply knew it was a predestined event, and was sorry that she'd have to see you suffer because of it. After all, she cares about you more than anyone other than me."
"But then if we take that, on top of her flawless, and frankly speaking, weird timing of appearing. What do we get? On top of that, we also have to add the other factor, or in other words, the answer to what "she's not the one" meant."
"Cael, I don't blame you for not being able to reply. But…"
She pushed me away slightly, then wrapped both hands around my face, and forced me to look at her.
When our eyes met… tears began running down my face, faster than before.
My whole body was shaking.
I hated it.
I hated it so much that I could do nothing but cry and grind my teeth against each other in frustration.
Mio was also crying.
But unlike me, who was a total mess already, her cries were silent.
"I want you to accept this truth, and look me in my eyes when I put it out loud for you. I know it's hard, and you're going to forget about it soon either way… but I need to tell you."
"I have to lay down the foundation, and clear a pathway for you. But that's all I can do. I can force you to face it inside yourself, but only slowly… and for now, in a really unconventional way."
"I'm sorry, Cael. But the only one who can truly make you come back to who you really were, is you. But I don't expect, nor want you to face it yet. You're still unprepared, and honestly speaking, unneeded to be complete yet."
"Cael…"
"Your previous life on the planet known as "earth" and in the country known as "Japan" bearing the name "Hayase Akio" wasn't your first life."
"The reason why the Goddess approached you when she did, and the reason she apologized… was to lessen your burden."
Deep down, I probably, or rather… I already knew. I've never thought about it, yet never questioned it either.
Every single one of the questions that she flatly laid out, they were things I subconsciously noticed, but avoided to the point where I wouldn't even form the thought of questioning them.
Why?
I don't know.
I genuinely-
I seriously don't know.
"It's because of my failure in our first life, that you ended up this way. I'm sorry for not being able to stand by your side until now, Cael. You must've been looking for me all this time, haven't you?"
"That's why you were confused, when you felt the presence of a familiar soul. That's why you confused Satou Hana with me at first. Not because you don't love me, but because you've been stranded from any one of us for so long, that you clung on to the only familiar presence you felt."
Letting go of my face, she then hugged me, burying my face in her chest.
"It's my fault. If only I was stronger back then… if only you hadn't prioritized me over everyone else- if only I had survived. You wouldn't have been reduced to someone who rejects his heroism to such an extent, even though it's his core."
"Because you lost me… because you lost everyone. The goddess was trying to mellow out your sorrow, by letting you know that you weren't about to lose me again, Cael. When she said "she's not the one" she meant that she wasn't me."
"I don't even want to imagine how hard it is for you to hear all of this now. Which is why once again, I'll apologize as well. You don't need to know anything else for now. I can't tell you any more either. It's something you'll eventually face on your own after all. And I have no doubts that you'll come back to your complete self."
"But for now, I think it's time I end your suffering, isn't it?"
Pulling me away for a second, the next moment I found my head on her lap. I looked upwards at her, desperate to see what face she had- but surprisingly, it was the complete opposite of what I thought.
Tears had stopped.
There was no discomfort.
No sadness.
She was smiling.
It wasn't a facade either.
It was a genuine smile.
"Ahh, ah. I'm so relieved I managed to actually say all that. I had to prevent my body from shaking with mana, just to maintain my composure. But still, I'm relieved I managed to lay down the foundation."
Placing her palm over my face then, a purple and black mixed aura lit up from it. And slowly, but steadily, my eyes, senses, and consciousness, began to fade.
"You'll be asleep in a few minutes. And with that, I'm leaving the rest of you to lock his memories of this conversation. Though I'm sure you would've already done that anyway."
Rest of you? Who is she talking to…
It's almost as if she's talking to more than one person…
Wait… could it be?!
"Cael, I'm sorry once again, but I can't be by your side as Mio, just yet. At the very least, not until you reach your goal of becoming an adventurer, and you properly integrate yourself in this world."
"There's plenty of danger outside your current capabilities that will arise due to your curse, but don't worry. I'll be destroying anything that stands in your path."
"You've already prioritized me and my dream once before, which resulted in you losing everything, even me. But things are different this time. You won't lose any of us. I promise."
"I'll stay by your side with my mask known as Luna, orbiting around you the same way a moon orbits around its world, and protect not just you, but our entire family and friends too. I can do that now, you know? After all, I'm The Strongest."
"I'm not someone who needs protection anymore, nor someone you have to worry about. Which is why, please, don't prioritize me. A hero needs to always be available for anyone else, not just his lover."
"Even if it means putting myself aside for a few years, I don't mind. After all, just like everyone-no. More than anyone else, I love the light that comes out of you, when you save people."
"Which is why, I want you to do whatever you want. Save as many as you can, mingle with as much unneeded business as you want. I'll make sure everything will play out fine in the end."
"Do you know about it? That old cliche saying. "A hero saves everyone. But who saves the hero?" The answer to that, in your case at least, is simple. I Will."
"I'm the strongest after all. So I'm the only one who can do it. So once again, please keep doing whatever you want, except prioritizing me. We won't repeat that tragedy anymore. I'll make sure of it."
"You're my hero after all. I don't mind it at all. It's fine Cael. It's really fine."
Ah… I'm so sleepy I can't even open my mouth anymore…
I'm hearing what she's saying at least, and I am understanding… at least what I can.
But even then… it's still leaving one hell of a bitter taste behind, for fucks sake.
"It's about time you fall asleep by now. So I'll end it here. I'll be standing by your side as Luna, always. That will never change. Though of course, that's only relatively speaking, since I don't always have free time being the commander and all."
"But regardless. Until you fully integrate yourself as the hero everyone needs, until your goal and dream of becoming an adventurer isn't achieved, I can't be by your side as Mio, or your lover. A hero can't save everyone if he has someone else he worries about, you know?"
"But rest assured. After you've achieved your dream, and integrated yourself properly… when you need me the most. When you're so broken that you feel like just killing yourself, and when you can't take it anymore. I'll step in, not as Luna, but as Mio. Your lover, and The Strongest."
"That way, unlike our first life, we'll be starting our relationship as lovers from the start. You won't need to worry about my safety, and I'll be able to save you when no one else can. There won't be any hero and damsel in distress dynamic between us then."
Yeah… once again, as frustrating as it is, although I don't know- or I don't remember why I understand what she's saying… it doesn't sound that bad.
But the transmission method is really not that pleasant.
All I was hoping for was to just go on with my life, with Luna by my side most of the time, then being a lovely dovey with the commander in secret…
But I guess that's not possible, huh?
Damn it.
My eyelids gave up.
My consciousness was soon going to follow.
"Of course, it's not like we can avoid meeting whatsoever, since Maia is my best friend and Lieutenant… but that's also why I wanted to talk to all of you."
"I've flatly laid out my intentions regarding our future. Which is why, I'm counting on you guys to do the rest. Please don't let your feelings overwhelm him anymore. Please allow him to live normally, even if he has to interact with me."
"Though it's probably impossible to negate your attraction and affection towards me, I guess you'll sort something out yourself. Though just to let you know, even as Luna, I won't think you're cheating on me with myself or anything, since we won't be in an official relationship until it's time."
That sounds so annoyingly complicated. But haha, I guess I'll have to sort it out somehow when time comes.
"But this time seriously. It's time to end it. I'm not sure when the next time I'll be seeing you as myself is, but there won't be any secret meetings between us anymore. Not until it's time for Mio to step to your side."
"Until then, please take care of Luna, alright? Though you two will never be in a real relationship, she is still me after all. She's not a fake persona, she doesn't have a different personality than me. Her words are just limited by our circumstances."
Don't worry… I was planning on taking care of her from the start.
"Having her by your side may be going against the whole "a hero shouldn't have a lover" thing from earlier, but it should be fine if it's never official. Either way.."
A-h… I… don't think- I can…
"This is it, Cael. This spell will keep you asleep until tomorrow morning, so make sure to eat plenty at breakfast, alright?"
I…wi-
"Good night, Cael. I really, really, really… love you, so much."
I-… Lov———
But before I could even finish my thought, my consciousness had already faded.