The Colour Of Dissonance
Monday, 23rd October 2023
Classroom No. 10's air conditioners often malfunctioned, and that day, both of them had apparently stopped working. After enduring the heat for a while, the class continued. Still, when Sameer Sir arrived, he instructed us to move to Classroom No. 5 in the adjacent branch.
The class continued there. After which I went to grab a bite during the break.
While returning to reach the washroom, we had to pass through classroom no. 3. As I entered that class, I was slightly surprised to see Sanjana J there along with Naira. Sanjana was there solely to study; she hadn't attended the previous lecture and wasn't planning to attend the upcoming math lecture either.
As I was heading towards the other door of the classroom to go to the washroom, she called out to me,
"Hey Tanish, listen," and asked about the recent message posted by the teachers of BS college.
I turned around and explained to her that we needed to post our weight, height, and blood group on the official college group.
I then forgot about going to the washroom and ended up sitting on the bench next to Sanjana and Naira. They were discussing the grand garba. I still regretted that Naira hadn't been able to attend that night.
"Tu bhi toh gaya tha na?" Naira asked me.
"Haan, tu bhi toh gaya tha wahan," Sanjana repeated after her.
I asked them why they hadn't come. Naira explained that there were some people at the event whom both she and Sanjana didn't like, which was why they chose not to attend. I quickly realized they were referring to certain individuals who made them uneasy.
Sanjana mentioned that she needed to get home before her brother, which was why she wasn't attending the math lecture. That was when I realized for the second time that her brother was about the same age as my younger sibling, Vihaan.
My attention then shifted to Sanjana's module, and with a hint of regret, I said,
"Look, she even understands organic chemistry."
I felt a pang of self-doubt, realizing that I was the only one struggling with it. October was coming to an end, and our first attempt was just two months away. I had firmly decided to give up on mastering organic chemistry by now.
"It's not organic chemistry; it's the inorganic chemistry module," Sanjana corrected me.
"No, but you still know organic chemistry, right?" I asked.
"Naira knows organic chemistry, too," I praised Naira as Sanjana nodded, and Naira laughed in response.
Sanjana then shared how she had skipped the 'carbon' chapter in her 10th grade by randomly opening her module.
"There was a chapter on carbon here," she said, placing her hand on the page. "Shhh," she whispered, turning the page and concluding with a grin,
"Chapter skipped."
"Yaha itna shor kyu hai?", she suddenly asked Naira after chatting for a few minutes.
"Why is it so noisy here?"
She repeated this, since Naira continued to talk even after Sanjana had asked the first time.
"Mai yaha isliye padh rahi thi kyuki yaha shaanti thi," she said for the third time, emphasizing her point.
Her comment reminded me of something from a few months earlier. I recalled Sanjana telling Naira that she found it difficult to study at home. I remembered her words,
"Whenever I sit down to study, I feel like…do min kuch kha lete hai, do min kuch pee lete hai, do minute kuch dekh lete hai."
Sitting there, I wondered if she was hinting that I should leave. Feeling it was best to avoid any misunderstanding, I decided to get up. I had completely forgotten the reason I had come to that classroom in the first place. When I returned from the washroom, I noticed that Naira had already left. I bid farewell to Yash, who was sitting on the first bench, and then to Sanjana.
During math class, we received a circular on the AOS Academy official group about our upcoming trip. This time, we were being taken to Khopoli for two days and a night, with a fee of thirty-six hundred rupees, on the ninth and tenth of November.
As soon as I read the message, I told everyone around me that I was going on the trip. Last year, my father strongly urged me to go on the Imagica trip, but my mother didn't want me to go, so I had to refuse.
But this time, there was nothing that could prevent me from going on the trip. My family had always been supportive of my trips, and they never put any restrictions on such plans.
However, my joy was abruptly interrupted by a sudden realization: "When are we leaving for our native (Gwalior) for the Diwali vacation?" I asked myself.
As I ran through our plans, it hit me — our departure was fixed for the ninth of November, the exact day of the trip.
As the realization sank in, my heart felt heavy with disappointment. The thought of missing out on this year's picnic, something I had been looking forward to, was disheartening. The excitement of the trip was overshadowed by the frustration of having to choose between two important events.
The disappointment was compounded by the fact that choosing between the two wasn't an option for me. Our train tickets for the Diwali trip had already been booked. Cancelling and rebooking them would be incredibly difficult, especially given the festival season and the high demand for tickets.
I wrote a note on a piece of paper explaining to Piyush how I would be missing the trip due to the conflicting dates. Reading it, he burst into loud laughter, probably on my unfortunate luck, as if the situation itself was amusing, which only added to my feeling of frustration, making the whole situation feel even more ironic.
The next day was Naira's birthday, which was a bittersweet moment for me. I was still troubled by the conflict with the trip. Adding to my frustration, the very next day was also Dussehra.
It felt like yet another example of how everything seemed to converge on the same day. With Dussehra being a public holiday, I wouldn't be able to see Naira in person to wish her on her special day. As a result, I would have to settle for sending her birthday wishes via WhatsApp instead of delivering them in person during class.
After class, I happened to see Naira downstairs and decided to wish her a happy birthday right there. She was rummaging through her bag when I approached and said, "Happy birthday in advance."
She turned around, looked at me, and said something in response that I honestly couldn't recall. All I remember is that it was something amusing, as her mischievous laughter still lingers in my memory.
The next day, I had to settle for sending my birthday wishes via WhatsApp. Naira's reply was a simple "Thank you," accompanied by a smiling emoji that always reminded me of her face.
A day after her birthday, I wished her a belated birthday. When I saw her, her cheeks still had a pink blush from her makeup, and the tint of her lipstick was noticeable. Her eyes also seemed to sparkle with a special glow, adding to her overall radiant look.
"Is it still there?" Maybe she had washed her face and came back, because when she returned, she asked me with her ever-present laugh.
********
Monday, 30th October 2023
[21:52]
Sanjana 3:kya tu kal black pehenra hai?
I had received a text from Sanjana about the Halloween celebration planned by AOS with the following details:
"Join us for a spooky Halloween bash! Unleash your inner monster, wear your best black outfit, and embrace the darkness."
I remembered how Sanjana had mentioned her love for dressing up and participating in such events. It was clear that she would definitely attend the Halloween celebration.
Her text that night seemed fitting, as Batch 1 was generally not very interested in such events. Given that, there was a chance that not everyone would come in a black outfit, making Sanjana's question even more relevant.
It had been nearly twenty days since we last talked in text. She had also not attended classes for the last few days.
I, on the other hand, had no plans for a black outfit and had even forgotten about the celebration. With Batch 1's attendance having dropped significantly after the segregation of Apex batch students, there was little enthusiasm for the event. The Bollywood Day, a few months earlier, had also seen a sparse turnout.
However, Sanjana's text rekindled my interest. I found a black shirt I already had, and her message motivated me to get into the spirit of the celebration.
Me: Yaar black toh hai
But wo bhootiya bilkul nhi hai
Sanjana 3:sirf black hi pehenna hai
bhoot voot kaun banega
I didn't know much about Halloween except that it was scary. In fact, hadn't even read the entire message .
"kya tuzhe pata hai ki koi aur pehenne wala hai kya?"
Tujhe being typed as tuzhe reminded me of my Maharashtrian friends from my building.
The day before Bollywood Day, Sanjana had asked me the same question. Taking her suggestion to heart, I said I'd check with everyone to see who would be wearing a black outfit the next day.
I began messaging everyone with a single question: Who was planning to wear a black outfit?
After about half an hour, I had gathered all their responses. I compiled the names into a list and sent it over to Sanjana. Meanwhile, this discussion had already begun to spark a quiet buzz within our group. Kavya, Shaurya, Karan, Prashant, and I were all set to come dressed in black. Lizz, however, was still unsure if she would come for the lectures.
As I was putting my phone down, satisfied with the coordination for the next day. My mother walked in and suggested I move to the hall to study. Perhaps she noticed my WhatsApp activity, as she scolded me, and I was soon subjected to the same old reprimands that never failed to dampen my mood.
Frustrated, I moved to the hall, where I continued to grapple with the same irritation that had taken hold of me.
Just then, I noticed a message count badge from WhatsApp. Opening it, I saw it was Sanjana:
'thank you so much, problem solver."
Her playful tone and those last two words brought an unexpected smile to my face. Those words, laced with her unique, mischievous flair, made Sanjana truly one of a kind.
For a few moments, I stayed there, just grinning at the screen.
Nothing,
It was just the very first of the many instances,
That
"Coincidentally, Sanjana J always had something to say,
Which brought a smile to my face,
Every time I was frustrated with something".
The next day, I put on a black shirt and denim, ready to go to the coaching. In my rush, I somehow managed to forget that the class was at 12 PM instead of 11 AM.
Realizing my mistake, I was left with an entire hour to kill. The minutes dragged on slowly, but then Ramesh arrived in a black T-shirt, and with him, the time seemed to pass much more easily.
As the class time drew closer, the door swung open, and in walked Naira. She was dressed in a black top, layered with a black jacket or shrug, her hair flowing freely. And then, there was that smile of hers—the one that could light up a moment.
In that instant, the entire room seemed to glow just a little brighter.
"Chalo, ye bhi aa gayi," I thought to myself, as if her arrival somehow completed the scene.
If Naira's arrival lit up the class, then it wouldn't be wrong to say that Sanjana J's entrance completely changed the atmosphere. She hadn't come to the organic chemistry lecture, choosing instead to sit in the library. The same girl who, the night before, seemed so excited about wearing a black outfit for the Halloween event, then walked into the class after the lecture had ended.
She appeared taller, thanks to the heels she was wearing. Her jet-black hair framed her outfit—black, of course—but it was difficult for me to describe exactly what she wore.
However, when Shaurya commented that she looked just like the nun from The Nun movie, a similar image flashed in my mind. I couldn't help but agree, nodding as I told him that Sanjana really did resemble the nun.
She didn't say a word. Quietly, she went and sat beside Naira, remaining silent for the rest of the lecture. We had our usual fun during Sajit Sir's class, laughing and joking around, but every time I turned to glance at the back, I could see Sanjana's eyes never left her notebook. Not a single smile crossed her face.
I felt a strong urge to ask her what was wrong, but then, a lingering thought held me back: Why would she share her pain or sorrow with me, anyway?
All of us guys took a photo with Sir in our black outfits, marking the end of the lecture. All the boys took a picture with Sajit sir before the lecture ended.
But even as we left the academy, I hadn't seen a single smile cross Sanjana's face.
Pausing midway on the stairs, I pulled out my phone to check the bus timings. The screen showed the next bus wouldn't arrive for another half hour, though the app often misled me with its timings.
Should I head to the bus stop now and risk waiting in the heat, or stay here a bit longer, savoring the comfort of the AC before stepping out into the sticky afternoon?
I wondered.
"Tuh-nish," hearing the distinct pronunciation of my name, I turned around. Naira had paused on the opposite set of stairs, descending slowly before stopping right across from me. There was a curious smile on her face as she asked,
"Yaha akele kyu khada hai?"
I was a bit surprised to see her there, given that her society was closer to the other staircase, the one she always took.
"Nothing, just lost in thought," I replied honestly.
She gave a reassuring nod, as if to acknowledge my answer, before continuing down the stairs. Perhaps, seeing me alone on the staircase, she thought I was upset or troubled by something.
Her concern reminded me of what she'd said the day after the Ganesh Chaturthi celebration—that she hated seeing me cry and had felt really bad for me that day.
"Bye,"
I called out, snapping out of my thoughts as she continued walking down the staircase.
"Bye bye,"
She replied, turning slightly to wave before heading off.
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