The Month Of December Has Always Been Full Of Memories
Friday, 1st December 2023
"Listen, listen… send me something related to Synergy. I didn't understand anything. Send something interesting," Naira prompted with a small smile, her eyes half-squinted as I stepped into the academy.
For a moment, I wondered how I'd forgotten to send her the book chapters — especially to Naira, who was probably the most curious reader among them all, always waiting to read what I'd written.
When I finally did send her the first couple of chapters from Part One, she seemed puzzled. After all, those chapters weren't about her, or Sanjana, or anyone from our batch — they were mostly about a few old encounters, the ones with my exes, which were removed later.
God knows what made me start the book that way in the first place.
The corridor was crowded; there wasn't even space left to sit. Every classroom had a lecture going on, and we were all waiting outside for the upcoming JEE+Board level test. Ramesh and I stood there for a while, talking. As soon as a spot on the sofa freed up, we went over and sat down. Just then, he reached into his bag, took out a packet, and handed it to me.
I remembered how he had said the day before that his gift was somewhat similar to Kavya's. As I held it in my hands, I could see what he meant. Among all the gifts I had received, Ramesh's was the most beautifully packed—with neat folds, perfect edges, and a heartfelt message that made it stand out.
We sat together on the sofa. Talking to him had its own warmth—a calm, thoughtful rhythm. It was one of those little moments I knew I'd miss deeply, especially once these final two months ran out.
I got up only when he asked me to fetch him some chewing gum—he was always strangely concerned about his breath. I returned in barely five minutes, only to find my seat then taken—by none other than The Sanjana J, who had surprisingly shown up for the board-level test on Thermodynamics and Magnetic Properties of Matter.
"Are yaar, I was already sitting there," I said, more out of habit than protest. Sanjana, of course, wasn't going to move. She just glanced away from Ramesh and looked at me, unfazed, so I had to sit on the other sofa. There wasn't much time left—I managed to glance through a few final concepts before we were all called in.
We were assigned Classroom Number 10, where Sanjana could be seen scanning the room, deciding where to sit. I found myself waiting for her to make up her mind—only then would I choose my seat. The plan in my head was simple: if she sat in the front, I'd take the seat behind her and make Ramesh sit behind me; if she chose the back, I'd do the opposite.
She finally settled on a bench, and I slowly moved to the one behind her—but just then, she turned and asked me to sit in front of her. And so, it played out almost perfectly: the three of us—me, Ramesh, and Sanjana—ended up sitting one behind the other, with me in the middle.
The question papers were handed to us, and once again, multiple-choice questions were going to play their trick. Magnetism was one of my strongest chapters. Thermodynamics? I hadn't even glanced at it before the test—I trusted my understanding enough to take that risk. And Kinetic Theory of Gases was always fresh in my mind.
"Do you need something?" I whispered to Ramesh, who seemed lost in thought—either the paper was unexpectedly easy, or unexpectedly difficult.
I turned slightly to check on Sanjana. Since she was seated right behind me, it was easy to ask if she needed anything. Whether she appeared composed or quietly anxious, I couldn't quite tell—but I asked anyway.
After a while, Sanjana quietly asked me for the MCQs. Without a word, I slid my paper to the center of the desk, just enough for her to see. She leaned forward slightly, her eyes scanning the sheet as she marked her answers. Neither of us said anything—it was all silent.
I don't really remember whether Ramesh got up first or Sanjana. But when I finally stepped out of the classroom, I saw Sanjana sitting alone on the sofa, with no familiar faces around.
I went over and sat beside her. We discussed a few of the test answers—and that was when I realized that one of the MCQs I'd shown her had turned out to be wrong. She had actually marked the correct option but changed it after seeing mine.
As always, guilt washed over me, and I found myself apologizing right there, again and again… typical me, being a bit too dramatic about it.
"I thought… Tanish ko mujhse thoda zyada aata hai. So, I changed my answer," she explained, almost casually.
"Are yaar, sorryyy," I said once more.
"It wasn't even an actual test… so it doesn't really matter," she replied calmly, with that same practical tone she often had.
When Yash joined us, the three of us ended up discussing a few more answers—especially the long questions.
And then, after he left, Shaurya came over to keep us company. He started telling us about a short film his group was making. For their English project, the Radcliffe students had to prepare either a skit or a movie.
And of course, that's when his antics really began.
Out of nowhere, Shaurya snatched Sanjana's slipper and started running around the corridor—holding it in his hand, darting from one spot to another.
Sanjana, still sitting on the sofa, began yelling after him:
"Shaurya… Shaurya, give it back… Shaurya…!"
And then, in the middle of it, she shouted, "Abe, Shaurya tu chutiya hai kya?"
Unfortunately, Adarsh sir, who was sitting on the next sofa, heard it. I quickly signalled Sanjana to calm down.
Meanwhile, Shaurya kept teasing her, now even pretending to hit her with her own slipper, and Sanjana kept sliding further down the sofa to dodge him.
In all that, I had to shift too—until I ended up squeezed into the corner.
Finally, Adarsh sir spoke up, trying to sound serious but clearly amused:
"Sanjana beta, you shouldn't say such things…" he paused for a second, then turned to Shaurya, "…and you, why are you running around with girls' slippers?"
After Adarsh sir's scolding, Sanjana finally got her slipper back, and Shaurya disappeared into the classroom for the chemistry lecture—which, by the clock, was still about half an hour away.
Sanjana buried herself in her phone, scrolling silently. I, on the other hand, was bored out of my mind. That's when I came across a random Instagram post about the concept of a "backup partner." It threw me off a bit—half curious, half puzzled—and almost without thinking, I asked Sanjana what she thought about it.
She paused, looked up, and started sharing her thoughts. But halfway through, my mind wandered off...
Because suddenly I remembered what Lizz had said: "Sanjana must have totally forgotten about your book by now. You'll have to remind her."
And it was important. After all, she was one of the main characters.
"Bhej na…" she finally said, her face suddenly serious, not at all surprised by the reminder. Almost as if, yeah, she really had forgotten.
I sent her the first two chapters right away, for the second time—and almost instantly, that familiar fear crept in.
What if she judged me?
The parts I'd written on her, the small details, the conversations—would they seem silly to her?
"Dekh… I've written about a lot of people in the book, so please don't judge me," I told her honestly.
She reassured me she wouldn't.
But the thought refused to leave my head.
The corridor had begun to fill up again—people walking past, the noise growing—but in my mind, I was stuck on just that one thing: what if she judged me?
I brought it up again. She brushed it off, still calm.
But when, for the third time, I repeated it, she finally snapped—in a playful way.
"Ruk ja… abhi toh mai full judge karke hi padhungi!" she teased, flashing a devilish smile.
Then, with a small flick of her thumb, she switched apps from Instagram to WhatsApp.
And before either of us could say anything more, she told me to come along to the classroom where the lecture was about to start.
Inside, there wasn't anyone except Shaurya.
He'd been sitting there all this while; I kept wondering why.
As soon as I walked in, the usual argument over seats kicked off. Shaurya had kept his bag on the third bench — the spot where Naira and Sanjana usually sat. So Sanjana placed her bag on the second bench, which was mine. Neither of them looked ready to budge, and finally, I had no choice but to dump my bag on the first bench.
Keeping the bag, I went back to sit with Shaurya on the third bench, where he was hitting and fighting with Sanjana. I couldn't help laughing at them bickering over seats like kids, and said,
"Tum dono kutte-billi ki tarah lad rahe ho…"
"He called you a dog," Sanjana said, laughing and pointing at Shaurya.
"No, I called you one… he's the cat," I shot back.
And from there, Shaurya wouldn't stop, going on and on that I'd called Sanjana a bitch.
Then the conversation drifted, as it always did.
That's when we landed on Prashant — and Sanjana revealed something I had never expected: Prashant hadn't just had a crush on Sanjana D; he'd also liked Sanjana J.
Sanjana told us how he'd once said that to her on Snapchat, and how she got irritated enough to stop talking to him altogether. She even teased that Prashant probably liked every girl named Sanjana. It made sense now — she'd once told me she didn't like him right from the start; and now I understood why.
Then came the inevitable: we ended up sharing bits about our own pasts.
Sanjana talked about her exes; I too rambled about mine.
At one point, she turned to Shaurya, pointed at me and said with a small laugh,
"Tu isko pooch… iski kitni thi…"
She paused, still smiling, and then added,
"Das bhai… das bandiyan thi iski."
I laughed too — not exactly embarrassed, but enough to hide my face behind my hand.
It wasn't something to brag about, but the way she said it made it all sound harmless and funny.
"Aree wahh, you also read his book?" Naira asked Sanjana.
The class had just begun, and as always, both of them were sitting behind me.
"I read the first one," Sanjana replied — the one where her introduction came in.
I hadn't sent her the chapters about the exes, thinking she might find them as boring as Naira had.
On the other hand, Naira had gone ahead and read the next two chapters too.
"Tu ne Sanjana ke baare mein kitna sahi likha hai," she said, smiling.
Hearing that, Sanjana casually flipped her hair and blinked — as if silently acknowledging it.
I went a bit blank for a moment… but seeing her reaction, strangely, I didn't feel all that embarrassed.
____________________________________________________________________________
Monday,4th December 2023
The second last day of A Proper Lecture
I opened my eyes at two. Maa was still on a call, her voice drifting in from the next room.
Before I realised it, another fifteen minutes had somehow disappeared.
Fuckkk. At this rate, I could actually end up being late today. Chemistry class was at half past three, and I had to reach by three — no excuses. No one was going to save my place, and the thought of sitting anywhere other than in front of Naira for a five-hour lecture? Just unthinkable. Having her behind me meant more than I could even put into words.
To buy those extra minutes, I gave up a chapati and made do with just two. The dal smelled ridiculously good — typical, on the one day I couldn't stop to enjoy it. Fuck, there really wasn't time.
And then there was Shaurya. Just the thought of him pulling one of his usual stunts — quietly shifting Naira's bag for the fun of it — made me uneasy. It wouldn't take much to ruin my plan completely.
I stood there for a moment, thinking about it, feeling that familiar mix of irritation and quiet worry.
Still, there wasn't time to dwell on it. I packed my things quickly, stepped out of the house — and thankfully, managed to catch the bus.
Even with all that rush, I still reached about twenty minutes early.
As I stepped into Classroom Number 9, the first thing I saw were Naira and Sanjana's bags already resting on the third bench — just as I'd hoped, or maybe quietly counted on.
I placed my own bag on the second bench, settled myself on its table, and took out my phone. For now, there wasn't much else to do except wait. So I did — half scrolling, half watching the door, time stretching in slow, silent minutes.
After a while, the door opened. Naira walked in first, her best friend right behind. They quietly settled into their places, slipping into the soft routine that always seemed to happen before a long lecture.
Sitting on the table, right in front of them, I found myself thinking this was probably the best chance to start a conversation — or at least get Naira's attention, even if just for a moment.
So I turned to Sanjana and asked whether she'd read Chapter 4 of the book. She shook her head, saying no — exactly what I'd expected, if I was being honest.
A few minutes later, Shaurya arrived too. And almost as if on cue, his mischief began.
He started shifting Naira and Sanjana's bags around — nudging one forward, pulling the other back. As always, they let him be; it had almost become routine by now. They'd settle near him without thinking twice, and when his teasing crossed the line, they'd just raise their voices and scold him, half-serious, half-laughing.
From where I sat, my eyes kept following every small move he made. Each time he pushed Naira's bag a little further back, all I could think was: I hope she notices... I hope she moves it back quickly.
It wasn't anger, really. More like a quiet, restless anxiety — a need to keep everything just as it was: her sitting exactly where I wanted, for the next few hours at least.
Finally, the three of them stepped out of the classroom, leaving their bags where they had first placed them.
"Chalo, he's finally done with his mischief," I muttered under my breath, letting out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding.
But that relief didn't last long. A few minutes later, Shaurya slipped back into the room — calm as ever, as if nothing had happened. Without a word, he picked up Sanjana's bag, placed it on a bench behind, and quietly walked out again.
By then, the classroom had slowly begun to fill. A soft murmur spread as more students walked in, found their seats, and settled in.
Naira returned first. She didn't say anything — just walked to her spot and sat down, as if everything was perfectly normal. Then, a moment later, Sanjana walked in from behind.
She saw her bag wasn't where she'd left it. But she didn't react, didn't ask anything. Instead, she simply lifted it, placed it on my bench in front of me, and turned to leave the room again. Neither Shaurya nor Naira seemed to notice — or maybe they just didn't pay attention.
For a few seconds, I just sat there, staring at her bag now lying on my bench.
Of course, it wasn't hard to guess why. Shaurya's mischief clearly wasn't going to stop anytime soon, and for her, keeping the bag near me probably felt like the simplest fix.
I stayed sitting on the table for a while after that — legs stretched out comfortably on the bench below, eyes still drifting to Sanjana's bag every now and then.
A few quiet moments passed. Then, without really thinking about it, I got down from the table and sat properly on the bench.
There was still time before class began, and it didn't seem like Sanjana was going to sit all the way on the opposite end, like Kavya sometimes did.
So, in the end, it just felt better to sit properly.
After a little while, she came back into the room and quietly sat down next to me, with her phone in her hand. I reached into my bag, took out the small box, in which I had brought some matri and namkeen from home as evening snacks. Without overthinking offered it first to Naira, who took a few and then to Kavya, who had arrived by then and had chosen the spot next to Naira — since Sanjana was now sitting with me.
When it came to Sanjana's turn, she was already on a call. I thought about asking again but stopped myself, and let it be. Then Suman ma'am walked in. Almost in reflex, I slipped the box back into my bag, and like everyone else, stood up from my seat — which was out of my habit since I never got up at any teacher's arrival in the class.
Then began, once again, the entire chapter from the top: types of ligands, coordination numbers, and Werner's theory among other familiar topics. On one side sat Sanjana, carefully noting down every word—her handwriting neat and deliberate. And then there was me, simply scribbling away without much thought. I had always preferred to make proper notes later at home, copying everything into a cleaner, separate notebook.
In front of us, the first bench lay empty; behind us sat Kavya and Naira, and further back, Shaurya. While talking to Naira in between, I actually realised that whenever Sanjana was around, it somehow became easier to talk to Naira—and since the trip last year, Kavya too had blended comfortably with them.
"Ek minute ha…" I said to Sanjana when I realised she had rested her elbow squarely on my water bottle, which was kept on the bench. I lifted it to take a sip, then placed it back exactly where it was. Without missing a beat, casually returned her elbow to the very same spot.
She looked entirely absorbed in her notes—sitting cross-legged, leaning slightly to the side, as if she were an empress on a throne, and my water bottle had become the armrest of her royal seat. It was an oddly amusing sight, and for a brief moment, even the dull repetition of the lecture felt a little lighter.
"Acha, sunn..." Sanjana said, breaking into my thoughts — and right then, I was still caught up thinking about that whole empress on the throne idea.
"Acha?... and sitting beside her, who exactly are you? Her commander-in-chief?" my inner voice teased, almost before I could stop it.
I couldn't help it — a sudden laugh escaped, which turned into a small coughing fit loud enough for Sanjana to notice.
"Are you okay?" she asked, looking a bit puzzled.
"Ah... woh... I just get lost in my thoughts sometimes," I blurted out, not really sure what else to say.
"Hehh??" she seemed properly surprised at that, and then laughed too.
Inside, I found myself laughing again.
"I wouldn't mind being her commander-in-chief though… she's a good friend," I thought to myself, amused at how easily my own mind drifted there.
When the topic of coordination compounds' nomenclature came up, ma'am asked us to solve a few questions from the module.
I glanced over at Sanjana sitting next to me — it was clear she wasn't following much of it. The whole concept seemed to completely throw her off. Even after Suman ma'am's explanation, she still looked puzzled, mentioning that back when Meera ma'am had taught it, it had gone straight over her head too. Bis, tris, pentakis... — all of it just seemed like a mess to her. I tried to explain a bit and helped her work through some of the module questions.
When the break was just a few minutes away, I turned around to ask Naira if she'd like something to eat.
The treat I'd once promised — "if India wins the 2023 World Cup, I'll get samosas for the whole class" — had obviously failed, since India lost the finals. So I'd decided instead to give everyone a treat on my birthday… which still hadn't happened.
She readily agreed — and seeing that, I felt oddly happy: hayee,
I asked Kavya too, and then Shaurya, since they were part of the plan as well — and they both agreed.
Ramesh came to mind too; he hadn't come for the lecture today. If he had, of course I would've bought something for him as well.
As ma'am left the class for the break, I got up from my place. Kavya, who was already standing, asked me softly:
"Usko nahi dega kya?"
I glanced over at Sanjana. She was still bent over the module, solving the leftover questions — and maybe hadn't even heard us.
"Hey, listen — I'm bringing something for everyone to eat. Tu kuch khayegi?" I asked.
She lifted her head from the book, a little surprised:
"You're bringing…?"
"Yeah, I am. Tell me — samosa or vada pav?"
"Samosa," she replied.
I quickly checked in my mind which shop to buy from, and hurried outside.
But when I reached there, I was surprised — no samosas were ready yet; they were still sizzling in the oil.
Seeing that really sank my mood for a second.
I stood there for nearly ten to twelve minutes, hoping they'd get done soon. I'd left in such a rush that I'd even forgotten my phone back in class. All I kept wishing was that ma'am wouldn't come back early and start teaching before I returned.
At one point, the electricity even went out for a few minutes, and then came back.
Finally, as soon as the fresh, hot samosas were lifted from the kadhai, I quickly had three packed, plus one vada pav for Naira.
On the way back, I almost ran — properly ran.
I got back to the class and dropped the bag in front of them. As they started taking out the samosas and vada pav, Kavya told me, "Mam came in for a minute, but we told her we weren't done eating yet."
I checked my phone — there was a missed call from Naira. She quietly said she wanted one more vada pav — she was really hungry. A little later, Shaurya came back too and said he also wanted a vada pav instead of a samosa.
The samosas were really hot. The moment they broke them open, steam rushed out from the spicy filling. Sanjana couldn't even eat hers properly. She half-laughed and said, "Somebody please stand on the bench and keep these near the AC— it'll cool down faster!"
I took out the leftover evening snacks I'd brought from home — some matri and namkeen — and started eating those instead. I hadn't bought anything for myself from the shop anyway, since I'd already had a samosa earlier in the afternoon that maa had brought on her way back from the temple.
After a bit, I asked Naira softly if she was still hungry. She nodded, "Haan." And without thinking twice, right in front of everyone, I stepped down from the bench and half-ran to the shop downstairs from the academy. I picked up two packs of Craxx Curls — her absolute favourite.
As we all finished eating, I ended up telling them about the extremely awkward thing that had happened while I was running back to class. When I entered the academy, Githika, Harsh and a few others were standing near the entrance. I was in such a hurry that as I rushed past, Githika's whole hand accidentally brushed right across my chest. It had made me really uncomfortable, and as I explained it to them, I even showed with my own hand how it had happened — the way her hand had run against my t-shirt.
Sanjana couldn't help it and burst into laughter. The others didn't really laugh, but they didn't ignore me either; they just listened, half-amused, half-surprised.
After a while, ma'am came back to class and by then, we were all done with the break. It was past seven in the evening, and the whole class had gone extremely silent.
"Kaafi shaanti ho chuki hai.", I said to myself, but loud enough for others to hear.
"This is why I love evening classes," Sanjana said quietly, still writing in her notebook.
"Acha… because of the silence? But even morning classes are the quiet ones," I replied, since I was a morning person.
She shook her head and quickly disagreed; she was very much a late-night person.
A little later, after writing for some time, ma'am told us to stop and started teaching from what she'd written on the board. I picked up Sanjana's mechanical pencil — the click-to-press kind — and absent-mindedly tried to write something. I pressed the button on top without even checking if the lead had actually come out, and kept trying to write anyway.
"Aapne galat stream pakad li hai," she turned her head towards me and said softly, smiling wide.
We both burst out laughing.
"No, I thought you'd say 'aapke pen pencil pakadne ka tareeka thoda kezual hai'," I teased, and she laughed even more at that.
Then she showed me properly how to click it, told me where to press, and put the lead back in place. She handed it to me to try, but somehow it still didn't work. Smiling, she held my hand gently, moved it slightly higher up on the pencil, and then it finally worked.
"This is why I always say that one should befriend intelligent people," I told her a few seconds after giving it back.
"What, what?" she asked, curious.
I repeated it, and she laughed for the third time — slowly nodding her head with a tch as if saying, "Well, obviously, I am super smart."
Surprisingly, the class that was scheduled to end at 8:30 pm ended half an hour earlier. We all stepped out of the classroom — and it felt like a pleasant moment, as everyone gathered together just outside.
Naira was wearing a different jacket this time — white with red, quite similar to Ved's. Coincidentally, we both turned to each other at the same time and both waved hands to each other, exchanging smiles — just a simple gesture, but it felt nice.
Everyone was milling around outside the academy, standing in small circles, talking without much hurry. And then, almost all at once, people started leaving — one after another.
Before leaving myself, I went to the washroom. When I came out, I noticed that Sanjana was the only one still waiting outside; everyone else had already gone.
"How're you going?" I asked, after quickly saying bye.
She turned around and replied — something about her mom or someone coming to pick her up.
We were standing at a bit of a distance. I turned, climbed down the staircase, and walked slowly towards the bus stop.
____________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, 5th December 2023
Our Last Day Of Lecture In Synergy
That morning, we had a JEE-level test first. Afterwards, we all headed to Classroom Number 9 and left our bags there, since the lecture was still almost an hour away.
The arrangement ended up almost exactly like usual: Naira's bag on the third bench, Shaurya's on the fourth, and mine on the second. As expected, Sanjana didn't come for the test.
Time kept slipping by, as it always does — and as the lecture hour drew closer, the classroom slowly began to fill up.
And then Sanjana walked in.
Without even glancing towards Shaurya or Naira, she quietly placed her bag once again on my bench — almost as if it had become her usual spot.
For a second, I noticed it more than usual — Shaurya and Naira just kept looking at her for a moment — almost surprised by how quickly she came in, placed her bag, and walked away without a word.
There was that same seriousness on her face; she didn't even pause or look around.
Maybe after Shaurya's mischief yesterday, she herself didn't want any more drama.
And that's why, instead of leaving her bag with Naira like before, she chose to put it directly on my bench.
By the time she returned, I had already slipped down from the table and sat properly on the bench — just like the day before.
Sanjana had barely sat back down when suddenly Naira got up from her seat, turned to me, and asked,
"Tanish, can you move one bench back?"
She wanted to sit next to Sanjana.
"No… not happening!" I replied instantly, almost without thinking.
"Then can you move one bench ahead?" she asked again, for the same reason — so she could be right beside Sanjana.
But by then, it felt like I had quietly decided that no matter what, I wasn't going to move from my place today.
It was always the same — in all their fun and playful chaos, somehow I'd end up being the one who had to shift.
And in that moment, it really got to me.
I even told the three of them — with a hint of irritation — that it always turned out this way.
At that point, the classroom was still empty except for us. Shaurya was there too, and I felt my annoyance shift towards him; after all, it was usually his teasing that set all this off.
He didn't say anything back.
Just quietly listened to my little outburst — and then fell silent.
For a few moments, the whole classroom felt unusually calm.
Sanjana seemed lost in thought; Naira had her eyes on her phone; and even Shaurya, usually so restless, sat there quietly.
Then, breaking that small silence, Sanjana turned to me and asked in a soft voice,
"Why don't you two sit together?"
"Yaa… maamu never sits with me," I replied, half teasing. I'd always used maamu for Shaurya, Naira, and really anyone I found cute — it had just become my way.
"He always sits on the front benches," Shaurya added, explaining it for me, almost like it was obvious.
Everything started to unfold almost exactly like the day before. Naira kept reassuring Sanjana that Shaurya wouldn't pull any tricks this time. But Sanjana didn't seem ready to listen; she wouldn't even glance back toward where Shaurya sat. At one point, I noticed Shaurya quietly lipsyncing the word "EGO" to me — just like he had done the previous day.
After a few minutes, though, things eased back into normal. Sanjana began telling me about her practical submissions — how rushed and tiring it had been. Then I mentioned that Lizz and I had gone together to SV for ours, and she looked genuinely surprised. "I can't believe Lizz took the bus!" she said — and I understood why; everyone knew Lizz rarely used public transport.
We both had our elbows resting on the table, heads propped on our palms, as we talked about everything from my handwriting in the practical books — which, according to me, clearly showed my hidden MBBS degree — to our respective schools. She laughingly called mine a jail; I teased hers by nicknaming it Faraday.
Just then, from behind, I heard a few comments being thrown around. I turned to see Parth and Amit, half-laughing as they looked in our direction — maybe at me, or maybe at the two of us together. And in that moment, my mood dipped. It made me realise the quiet difference between sitting and talking like this with just any girl, and doing the same with The Sanjana J. I felt a flicker of awkwardness pass through me, and without really thinking, I straightened up and sat properly again.
Meanwhile, the classroom gradually filled up, the steady hum of voices mixing with the scrape of benches and the thud of bags. Finally, after Suman ma'am had already entered, Kavya arrived, a little late. Just then, Naira turned around and asked Sanjana one last time if she wanted to come back and sit with her.
"Meko dono chalega", Sanjana replied, shrugging lightly and glancing back at Naira. And so, Kavya ended up taking her place beside Naira — while Sanjana quietly stayed where she was.
The last bit of Coordination Compounds still had to be finished today — and then we had to cover the D-block elements too.
The class was scheduled from 1 to 6 pm — another five-hour stretch, and it was going to be our very last day of lectures in Synergy. It was probably going to be the last time Naira would sit behind me as well. But strangely, I couldn't really feel anything about it yet. Maybe it hadn't sunk in.
From behind, there was a constant stream of voices that day. A few more students from B2 had joined in, sitting at the back and trying to prepare for the upcoming board-level test.
And then there were Diya, Paramjeet, and Krish — their gossip kept going on and on, to the point where it was starting to get genuinely irritating.
Suman ma'am, whom we'd rarely seen lose her calm, ended up raising her voice in the very first few minutes of the lecture — surprising everyone a little.
When the non-integrated batch students began coming into the classroom, one of them caught my eye — a guy named Ishaan.
I remembered him from the Bollywood party: how, in the beginning, he wasn't at all ready to dance.
And then, later on, when Meera ma'am arrived, something sparked in him. Out of nowhere, he'd asked them to play a song of his choice — and ended up dancing with so much energy, even moving around near ma'am herself.
I leaned over and told Shaurya about it — though honestly, I'd probably told him this story before too.
Naira, sitting behind, must've caught a bit of our whispered conversation.
So I turned around slightly and shared the whole story again with her and Kavya — and they listened, smiling at the memory.
I could sense the presence of everyone sitting behind me that day — each voice, each movement — except for her, sitting quietly beside me. Sanjana was completely absorbed, drawing diagrams carefully with her pencil and scale, not distracted by anything around.
After a while, she got up and stepped out of the class for a moment. When she returned and sat down again, I watched almost without meaning to:
She moved her hand through her hair once.
Then again — this time, her left hand brushing them back.
A third time — with her right hand, gently placing them near the center before sweeping them behind her shoulders.
And then, almost as if nothing had changed, she rested her elbow once more on my bottle lying on the bench — the same small habit as before.
A while later, I heard a voice from behind.
"Tanish bhai…" It was Paramjeet, holding up a zero.
"Fuck! Really? A zero??"
It took me a moment to realise I'd actually scored zero in the last JEE test.
Ouch. But honestly… it didn't sting as much as it should have.
Prashant had topped the test — which was hard to believe — and on the other hand, Sanjana had come third from the top. Krish and Paramjeet, still sitting behind, asked for my paper and began re-calculating my marks themselves.
And here I was, right next to the third topper, feeling quietly embarrassed each time I glanced sideways at Sanjana. She looked genuinely happy — her smile even showed when she turned slightly towards Naira to say something.
I, meanwhile, was third… from the bottom.
It reminded me of my school days back in 9th grade, when I'd just switched to arts, knew nothing, and my then-crush Aastha would top from the top while I hovered at the very bottom.
The only difference was: with Sanjana, there was no love story. Nothing of that sort at all.
Whenever she asked me something during class, my embarrassment only deepened.
I'd lower my head and, half-jokingly, join my hands and tell her, "Bhai, please do your work on your own."
And as always, she'd laugh and say what she always did: that these JEE tests weren't the real exams anyway. When Paramjeet handed my paper back, he said my final score was thirty out of three hundred.
And somehow… it still didn't bother me much.
Break began, and I had barely stepped out of the class when Dipali ma'am spotted her chance.
"Kya hai haan, Tanish? What are you doing?" she called out, her voice making me turn around.
She was holding the rank list in her hand.
"Here, look at this…" she said, calling me closer and handing it to me.
"Arre ma'am, leave it… I'd just marked random guesses to see if they'd work or not," I brushed it off quickly and turned away, heading downstairs.
Hunger was gnawing at me badly, but I didn't have much money left. What could a single bhajiya pav really do anyway? Still, munching on it, wandering around a bit, I ended up at the shop below the academy.
Outside, I saw them all standing together — Naira, Sanjana, Kavya, and Shaurya.
As I was going inside the shop to search for something nice to eat, I heard Sanjana saying to Naira,
"Lizz didn't contact me during the practical submission…"
Hearing what Sanjana had just said, I, who had already stepped inside the shop, quickly turned back and came out. Almost without thinking, I told her, "Lizz was actually going to call you on the third day of the practical submission. She had planned to go with you that day since I didn't need to go myself since all my submissions were already done." Sanjana listened quietly, then turned to look at Naira. But neither of them said anything back; they just stood there silently for a moment.
I went back inside the shop and asked for a packet of Kurkure.
"Tuh-nish…," came that slightly senior-toned voice from my left.
Turning around, I saw that Sanjana and Naira had walked in right behind me.
"Don't get that flavour," Sanjana said, nodding towards the green chutney pack I was holding. It wasn't exactly my favourite either — but still, I was about to buy it.
"No… it isn't that bad," Naira added gently.
I paused, a bit caught between the two of them. But then again, if Naira was saying it, who was I to argue?
Just as I was about to take out my wallet, Naira stopped me. "Wait, let it be — I'll pay for it," she offered. She reminded me I had paid for her favourite Craxx Curls earlier. Then, without hesitating, she called her mom, quickly shared the QR code, and got it paid from home.
Right then, Kavya joined us at the shop, and the four of us started walking back towards the academy together. On the way, quite unexpectedly, Sanjana took a few from my packet, tasted them, and nodded, saying they weren't bad at all.
"You know, once I ate that black Lays packet when I had a cold. And guess what?" Sanjana said as we reached the door of the academy, her tone half amused. "I actually started crying."
Naira and I both laughed softly, and then we drifted into a few more small, random topics as we stood there.
"Toh kal ke samose ache nahi the kya?" I asked them, remembering yesterday's treat, as they began walking a little ahead together. Kavya had already gone inside by then.
"Yeah, it was good… just too hot," Sanjana turned around and said, making me recall her idea of cooling the samosa near the AC.
"Frankie could have been better," Naira added, almost thoughtfully.
"Koi baat nahi, next time frankie bhi ho jayega," I replied, looking at her with a small grin.
"Areee, it's okay," Naira said lightly — and with that, the two of them continued walking away from the academy gate, disappearing slowly into the quiet of the evening. I stood there for a second, then turned back and stepped inside the academy.
And then the lecture, which continued for another hour after the break, finally ended.
The last day of lectures at Synergy was done.
I could sense an odd heaviness settling over me. Naira smiling faintly as she lifted her bag onto her shoulders; Sanjana, already lost in her phone; Kavya quietly packing her things; and Shaurya, still talking as if nothing had changed. Ramesh and Lizz weren't there — probably at home — but it still felt like everyone was gathered in that one moment.
"Ab ye log kaafi kam dikhai denge", I thought to myself, while stepping out of the classroom.
The walk to the bus stop felt longer than usual. I kept replaying small moments in my head, of which Naira's smile remained at the top, almost as if I didn't want the day to really end yet.
At the stop, Ramesh's texts started coming in — half-angry, half-laughing. "Bhai, kaise ho gaya zero marks?!" I typed back short replies, told him whatever little I could.He said he'd already planned to catch up on the topics he'd missed, probably from some YouTube channel.
But even as I read and replied, my mind stayed partly in the classroom we'd just left. I reached home a bit late. Maa was worrying if I had eaten something, but how could I tell her that I ate a lot, but still wasn't full.