Gabe wasn't sure what had changed in the last few hours for him to be moved from tending the wounded to tending to the King himself. One moment, he had been cleaning bloodied bandages and assisting healers, and now he was here, inside the King's private tent, preparing his bath. His hands trembled slightly as he poured the warm water into the metal tub, watching the steam rise in wispy tendrils.
How much must this thing weigh? The soldiers had been hauling weapons, rations, and medical supplies, yet they still carried a massive metal tub just so their King could bathe in comfort. The thought was almost absurd. A testament to how little mortal suffering meant to Deroki. War was raging, men were dying by the hundreds, and yet here he was, making sure the King had his soap and scrub placed neatly on a tray.
Gabe clenched his jaw. He had spent the past week stewing in bitterness, hatred burning in his veins. Deroki had crushed his heart without a second thought, discarded him as though his feelings meant nothing. Gabe had sworn he would never forgive him. And yet, standing here now, a strange realization settled over him. He couldn't bring himself to hate Deroki with the same intensity anymore.
It wasn't that he had forgiven him. Far from it. But something inside him had shifted. He could see it now, Deroki's indifference wasn't personal. He wasn't cruel for the sake of cruelty. He was simply... above it all. Detached. Just as a human might not think twice about stepping on an ant hill, Deroki couldn't be bothered to care about the fleeting lives of mortals.
But Gabe wasn't an ant. And he refused to be crushed under Deroki's heel.
With a slow, steadying breath, he stepped back, brushing his damp hands against his trousers. The bath was ready. Now, he only had to face the King.
Gabe stood in the corner, his back pressed against the fabric of the tent, fingers curled into fists at his sides. The dim glow of lanterns flickered, casting elongated shadows on the walls. The warm bathwater steamed gently, filling the air with the faint scent of herbal oils.
Minutes stretched endlessly before Deroki finally arrived. He walked in with his usual air of authority, his presence heavy, commanding. Without sparing Gabe even a glance, he shed his robe in a single, fluid motion, the fabric pooling at his feet. His body, honed from battle, but unlike the soldiers it bore no scars of wars. He stepped into the water, submerging himself with a quiet exhale, his powerful frame sinking beneath the surface.
Gabe remained frozen in his corner, his pulse hammering in his ears. He had imagined this moment countless times, rehearsed words in his head, planned how he would face Deroki again after everything. Yet, standing here, in the intimacy of the bathing chamber, all those thoughts crumbled into dust.
Steeling himself, he forced his feet forward.
He stood behind the tub, dipping a sponge into the warm water before squeezing it over Deroki's shoulder. Droplets slid down his toned skin, vanishing beneath the surface.
Before Gabe could move again, a strong hand snapped around his wrist.
Deroki's grip was unyielding, his fingers wrapped tightly around Gabe's arm, halting him in place.
"What are you doing?" Deroki asked, his voice edged with quiet authority, sharp and piercing, laced with suspicion and irritation.
Gabe swallowed hard, forcing down the lump in his throat. "Helping you clean."
"I don't need your help," Deroki gritted out, his grip tightening before releasing him. "I am fully capable of doing it myself."
Gabe rubbed his wrist where the warmth of Deroki's fingers still lingered. "I'm sure you are." His voice was soft, steady. He reached for the sponge again, moving to the front of the tub this time, deliberately placing himself in Deroki's direct line of sight and kneeled beside the tub. "But I want to help you anyway."
Deroki's expression hardened. His face, once so familiar, so full of teasing smiles and mischief, was foreign now. No smirk curled his lips. No amusement danced in his eyes. There was only coldness, irritation...and something else. Something unreadable.
A bitter scoff left Deroki's lips. "Merisel put you up to this, didn't she?" His voice was low, accusing. "What did she say to you? Was she crying when she asked for help? Did she beg you to make me stop?"
Gabe stilled, the sponge hovering over Deroki's chest. The words were meant as a jab, but the quiet pain beneath them was unmistakable.
"It wouldn't make a difference, would it?" Gabe murmured, kneeling closer, dipping the sponge into the water once more before running it gently across Deroki's chest. His voice was barely above a whisper. "Because your pain didn't start yesterday. It didn't start a year ago. It has taken centuries to settle in your bones, to carve itself into your soul." His throat tightened, emotion creeping into his voice. "No matter what I do now...you won't change your mind, will you?"
Gabe looked up then, meeting Deroki's gaze head-on.
For the first time, the King wasn't looking at him. It was Deroki, the god, his soulmate looking at him. His eyes, so often cold and detached, were locked onto Gabe's with an intensity that sent shivers down his spine.
But there was no answer.
Just silence.
"If you already know the answer, then why do this?" Deroki's voice was low, edged with something sharp, something vulnerable he was trying to hide. His golden eyes searched Gabe's face, waiting for an answer he wasn't sure he wanted to hear. "Why try to lure a man you probably despise?"
Gabe's breath hitched, but he held Deroki's gaze. "Who said I despise you?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "I never have."
Deroki scoffed, but there was hesitation in his expression.
Gabe took a slow breath. "I might not like the things you've done. The things you're still doing. But that doesn't mean I hate you." His chest tightened, emotions surging like an unstoppable tide. "I was angry at you...so, so angry. I thought I could never forgive you." He shook his head. "But not anymore."
Deroki's brows furrowed, his jaw tight.
"The world is crumbling around us," Gabe continued, his voice thick with emotion. "Everything we know, everything we've fought for, it's all going to end, isn't it?" He let out a shaky breath, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. "Maybe I just want...a moment. A moment of reprieve. A last chance to feel something pure. To want someone and be wanted in return."
His voice wavered, but he pushed forward. "This is my last birth. My last life. I won't get another." He swallowed, his eyes stinging. "So let me have this, Deroki. Let me have the one thing I've always wanted. Just once, without the weight of betrayal, without the shadow of the past."
"You want to sleep with me? Is that it, Gabe?"
Deroki's voice was low, dangerously quiet as he gripped Gabe's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. There were no teasing smirks this time, no endearments, no playful pretense, just raw, unfiltered Deroki. The god who had once loved him beyond reason. The god whose heart Gabe had shattered.
"I'm sure we've done that a million times before," Gabe murmured, watching as Deroki's jaw clenched, his golden eyes darkening with something unspeakable. When Deroki's gaze flickered to his lips, something deep in Gabe's chest tightened, his heart slamming against his ribs. How cruel of fate, to give him the most beautiful, most loyal man in existence, only to wrap their love in thorns, making it impossible to hold without bleeding.
"But it's not just about sex," Gabe continued, his voice softer now. "It's about wanting to feel the real you. The man who isn't trying to lure me into immortality. The man who isn't seducing me just to break my heart. I want you, Deroki. The real you. The one who loves and hates me in equal measure." His breath hitched. "The one who is ready to burn the world to the ground because it wronged him."
Deroki's grip tightened ever so slightly, his thumb brushing over Gabe's jaw, a touch that felt both possessive and reluctant. His eyes searched Gabe's, as if trying to find the lie in his words.
"And you want to come along for the ride?" Deroki whispered. "You want to see what you've done to me? To witness the darkness inside me?" His lips barely ghosted over Gabe's, feather-light, like a dangerous promise. "You will only hate me more."
But Gabe didn't move away. His breath mingled with Deroki's, his pulse roaring in his ears. "Maybe I don't care anymore," he whispered back.
***
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