Konohagakure
The morning air carried the faint scent of dew as sunlight filtered through Konoha's rooftops, painting the bustling streets in soft golden hues. Rei walked briskly, navigating through the steady stream of villagers preparing for another day. The warm hum of conversation surrounded her, blending with the occasional clang of shopkeepers setting up their stalls. She moved with purpose, the weight of her brother's mounting bills and the reality of her restricted missions pressing heavily on her mind. Even here, amidst the movement and life of the village, Rei felt strangely distant, like she stood behind an invisible barrier separating her from the world she once felt a part of.
Her thoughts drifted as she rounded a corner near the village bulletin board, her gaze idly scanning the rows of freshly posted notices. She wasn't looking for anything in particular, but the bold strokes of one announcement caught her eye, making her pause:
"Sakumo Hatake appointed as Hokage Advisor"
The words were simple, direct, yet they carried an undeniable weight. Rei stared at the notice for a moment, the realization settling into her chest slowly. Sakumo had done it. After everything—the controversy, the whispers, the shadows cast over his name—he had returned to a place of respect and authority within Konoha. The thought brought a small flicker of warmth to Rei's otherwise weary heart. Sakumo had always been kind to her, one of the few who seemed to see more in her than the restrictions and suspicions that others so often placed on her.
The village buzzed about the news, snippets of conversation reaching her ears as she resumed her walk.
"Hatake-san as an advisor? Bold move by the Hokage. Some of us haven't forgotten that mission..."
"Maybe, but he's still the White Fang. Who else could step into that role? It's not like the Hokage has a lot of choices right now."
Rei's pace slowed slightly as the weight of the words struck her. Distrust. Skepticism. Even with Sakumo's appointment, whispers still lingered about his loyalty and judgment—about the mission that had tarnished his name. For all his struggles, Sakumo's actions had proven his commitment to the village, yet it seemed the stain of the past couldn't be so easily washed away. And what about her? No matter how many missions she completed or how hard she trained, trust felt just as out of reach for her.
The difference between them was glaring. While Sakumo was being offered a chance at redemption, she felt like her own reputation remained perpetually buried in shadows. At least Sakumo had something—a position, a voice, a chance to prove himself. All she had were restrictions and suspicion.
As Rei neared a quieter street, she heard her name called out in a familiar, energetic tone. She turned to see Obito waving enthusiastically, with Rin and Anko close behind him. The trio approached her quickly, their faces a mix of excitement and determination.
"Rei!" Obito called out, grinning widely. "We've been looking all over for you!"
Rin smiled warmly as they reached her. "We have some news," she said, her voice tinged with excitement.
"More like an invitation," Anko added, a mischievous glint in her eye.
Rei raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "What's going on?"
"Sakumo-san is having a celebration tonight," Rin explained. "He's been appointed as an advisor to the Hokage."
"And he specifically asked us to make sure you come," Obito chimed in, his enthusiasm infectious.
Anko nodded, her usual playful demeanor softening slightly. "It's just a small gathering. Close friends and family, you know?"
Rei hesitated, surprised by the invitation. "I... I'm not sure if I should..."
"Oh, come on!" Obito insisted. "It'll be fun! Plus, we can all use a break from studying for the academy finals not to mention all the missions you've been on lately"
Rin nodded in agreement. "It's in a few months, but it feels like it's coming up so fast. This could be a nice distraction."
Rei's mind flickered over the complications—the tension with Kakashi, the village's whispers. But the earnest looks on her friends' faces made it hard to refuse. "Alright," she said finally, managing a small smile. "I'll be there."
The trio's faces lit up with genuine joy. "Great!" Anko exclaimed. "Trust me, you won't regret it."
As they walked away, chattering excitedly about the evening ahead, Rei felt a mix of emotions wash over her. Sakumo wanted her there, considered her close enough to invite. It was a comforting thought, but it also highlighted the stark difference between them. He was moving forward, overcoming the whispers and doubts, while she still felt trapped in her own cycle of mistrust and limitations.
She watched her friends disappear around a corner, their laughter echoing back to her. Despite her reservations, a small part of her looked forward to the evening. Maybe, just maybe, it would be a chance to feel a little less alone.
Later that evening, after completing her monotonous D-rank mission, Rei found herself at the edge of the village, drawn to the training grounds near the forest. The soft twilight bathed the area in muted shades of orange and pink, the air cooler now as the day slipped into night. She exhaled slowly, letting her frustrations settle as she pulled out her kunai and prepared to train. If she couldn't change the restrictions, she could at least sharpen her skills—prove to herself and the village that she was still worthy.
Her movements were sharp and calculated as she practiced her forms, channeling her emotions into every strike and throw. The strange power that Raiden had awakened in her flickered in her mind, her fingers itching to tap into it despite the struggles she'd had controlling it.
"You're trying too hard," a voice suddenly cut through the silence.
Rei froze, her grip tightening around her kunai as her heart jumped in response to the unexpected presence. Turning sharply, she saw him—Orochimaru—leaning casually against a nearby tree, his piercing golden eyes fixed on her with an unsettling focus.
"I didn't mean to startle you," he said smoothly, stepping forward with an air of calm authority. "I was passing by and couldn't help but notice your form. It's... competent, but I can see where it falls short."
Rei's lips parted in protest, but curiosity stopped her. Orochimaru's presence unnerved her, yet his words carried a weight that demanded attention. "Falls short?" she asked cautiously.
Orochimaru smiled faintly. "Your movements lack fluidity. You're thinking too much about each step rather than feeling the rhythm. And your grip—" He gestured at her kunai-hand. "—is too stiff. When you grip too tightly, you sacrifice speed and control."
As he spoke, he stepped beside her, his movements slow and deliberate. He extended his own hand and demonstrated an adjustment to the grip she was using, his fingers curling around the invisible kunai in perfect balance. "Like this. Practice it, and you'll see the difference."
Rei watched him carefully, unsettled but intrigued. She tried the adjustment he showed her, feeling an immediate shift in the weight and control of her technique. "It's lighter," she murmured.
Orochimaru nodded approvingly. "Exactly. You have talent, but your technique is raw. Structured training will refine it, but only if you're willing to push past the limitations imposed on you." His eyes glinted with something that looked like recognition, as if he knew more about her abilities than she did herself.
His words sent chills down her spine. She didn't respond, unsure how to process the mixture of insight and unease that Orochimaru's presence brought. He turned to leave, but before walking away, he glanced back over his shoulder with a faint smile.
"If you ever want to explore the true limits of your potential, you'll know where to find me."
Rei stood frozen as Orochimaru disappeared into the trees, leaving her alone in the quiet twilight. Her mind swirled with conflicting emotions—curiosity, suspicion, and a flicker of hope she couldn't quite suppress. She glanced at her kunai and adjusted her grip again, trying to remember his advice. The changes felt right, felt promising, yet they came with a steep cost she couldn't yet see.
Rei lingered in the training grounds for a moment longer, staring down at her kunai with a mixture of awe and unease. Orochimaru's words echoed in her mind, circling like vultures. She tightened her grip on the kunai, testing the adjustment he'd demonstrated. He was right—it did feel more fluid, more effective—like a missing piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. But at what cost? Orochimaru wasn't known for offering help without strings attached. He was a man with motives as sharp and precise as the weapons they wielded, and the thought of being pulled into his orbit was as terrifying as it was tempting.
Shaking off the growing unease, Rei tucked her kunai away and started the walk home. The evening had settled in, with lanterns casting a warm glow on the cobblestone streets. As she walked, Orochimaru's words replayed in her mind. His authority, his recognition of her potential—it was intoxicating. Unlike the village, he seemed to see beyond her current limitations.
Yet, a chill ran down her spine. Orochimaru's confidence and piercing gaze left her feeling exposed. His brilliance was undeniable, his advice transformative, but there was an underlying darkness to his presence that she couldn't ignore. Even as she pondered his offer, a sense of foreboding lingered in her thoughts...
As she approached her apartment, Rei's thoughts began to shift toward Sakumo's gathering that evening. The warmth of his invitation lingered in her mind, contrasting sharply with the tension she felt about being around Kakashi again. Their relationship had always been strained, but lately, it seemed like every interaction left her feeling further isolated. She wondered how she could face him in a casual setting without letting past resentments boil over.
Rei stepped inside her small apartment, the silence greeting her like an old friend. She glanced at Takeshi's photo on the table near her bed, her brother's still, serene face smiling out at her from behind the glass. The medical expenses weighed heavily on her mind—another endless cycle of worry that she couldn't escape. The Hokage's recent offer of C-rank missions had been a lifeline, but knowing she would be working under Kakashi only made her dread deepen. And now she had to endure a gathering where she'd be trapped in the same room as him.
She sighed, tilting her head back against the chair. It wasn't just Kakashi she was worried about, though. The Hatake home would be filled with people—important people. She guessed that Fugaku and Mikoto would probably be there, along with Rin's parents and Anko's family. The idea of being watched by the Uchiha clan head made her stomach tighten further. She admired Mikoto deeply, but standing under the weight of Fugaku's cold scrutiny was another matter entirely. The thought of navigating through a room full of respected adults, all while trying to keep her composure, felt daunting.
Eventually, it was time to put aside her doubts. By the time Rei arrived at the Hatake home that evening, the sky was a deep navy, the stars peeking faintly through thin clouds. The house stood before her, a traditional single-story structure with a sloped roof and wooden engawa wrapping around its perimeter. Soft light spilled from the paper windows, casting a warm glow on the stone path leading to the entrance.
Rei paused at the genkan, her hand hovering just above the wooden frame of the shoji door. For a moment, she considered turning back. But then she heard Sakumo's familiar voice inside, calm and steady as always, and steeled herself. With a deep breath, she slid the door open, the soft scraping sound announcing her arrival.
As the door slid aside, she was greeted not by Sakumo as she'd expected, but by Mikoto. The Uchiha matriarch's kind eyes lit up the moment she saw Rei, her soft smile putting her at ease almost instantly.
"Rei! I'm so glad you could make it," Mikoto said warmly, stepping back to allow her entry.
"Thank you for having me," Rei replied, bowing slightly, her tone polite but genuine. Something about Mikoto's presence had the same soothing quality as her late mother's, and for the first time all day, Rei felt a flicker of calm.
As she stepped out of her sandals and into the main room, the warmth enveloped her. The Hatake home was filled with the scent of freshly cooked dishes, a low table in the center of the tatami-covered room piled with food that spoke to Sakumo's modest but heartfelt hospitality. To one side, Sakumo stood engaged in conversation with Fugaku, Mikoto, Rin's father, and Anko's parents. Their voices were low, but their expressions seemed thoughtful and serious.
Meanwhile, Rin and Obito were chatting animatedly near the table, their excitement palpable as they discussed their upcoming academy exams. Anko was already halfway through a skewer of dango, her laughter ringing out as she playfully teased Obito about his study habits.
And then there was Kakashi.
He sat in the far corner of the room, his arms crossed and his expression as unreadable as ever. His gaze flicked toward Rei for the briefest moment before turning away, as if she were little more than a passing thought. Her chest tightened, but she ignored it, forcing herself to focus instead on Rin and Obito.
"Rei!" Rin called brightly, waving her over. Obito grinned as well, the warm enthusiasm in their faces making her approach easier.
Rei managed a small smile as she joined them, doing her best to push aside the awkwardness she felt in the background. Whatever tension awaited her tonight, it could wait. For now, she'd let the familiar comfort of their friendship guide her.
As Rei settled into the group, she found herself unconsciously leaning on the warmth of Rin and Obito's easy banter. Rin was seated beside her, talking animatedly about her study sessions for the upcoming Final Exams, while Obito stood across from them, gesturing wildly as he tried to explain his latest "brilliant" strategy to outmaneuver both Kakashi and Guy in their next sparring match.
"I'm telling you, if I time my Fire Release just right and wait for Guy to overcommit, I'll have him completely trapped!" Obito declared, his voice filled with the kind of enthusiasm that could only come from boundless confidence. "Kakashi won't know what hit him either because he's always so focused on perfect execution. He'll never expect unpredictability!"
Rei raised an eyebrow, an amused smile tugging at her lips as she teased, "You mean you're counting on pure chaos to win?"
"Exactly!" Obito said, grinning widely. "Chaotic brilliance!"
Rin giggled softly, her hand covering her mouth as she turned to Rei. "He's been saying this for weeks. The last time he tried it, Guy dodged everything, and Kakashi just stared at him like he'd gone insane."
"Hey!" Obito interjected, pouting. "That was just practice! This time, I've figured out the perfect setup!"
Rei laughed despite herself, her earlier tension easing ever so slightly in the warmth of their familiar dynamic. Obito's energy had a way of lightening the mood, even in the most strained situations. It reminded her of why she'd always felt comfortable around him—he had a kindness and sincerity that never felt weighed down by expectations or judgment.
As Obito continued passionately explaining his latest strategy, his enthusiasm infectious, Rei found herself relaxing into the familiar rhythm of their friendship. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed this—the easy banter, the shared laughter, the sense of belonging that came so naturally when she was with him. Obito's energy had a way of lightening even the heaviest moods, and she felt the tension from earlier slowly melting away.
Without noticing, Rei's own responses became more animated, her laughter a bit freer, her smile a bit wider. She was oblivious to the way Obito's eyes occasionally lingered on her, or how his voice gained an extra note of warmth when addressing her directly. To Rei, this was simply Obito being Obito—cheerful, supportive, and comfortingly familiar.
Shifting her gaze, Rei noticed Rin looking over at Kakashi with a wistful expression she didn't even seem to realize she wore. Kakashi hadn't moved much from his spot in the corner, his arms still crossed as he leaned against the wall. Though he was physically present, it was obvious to everyone that his mind was elsewhere.
"I feel bad for him sometimes," Rin said softly, as if speaking more to herself than anyone else. Rei glanced at her, surprised by the sudden shift in her tone. Rin's gaze was focused solely on Kakashi, her brows slightly furrowed as if she were trying to piece together something she didn't fully understand. "He spends so much time alone. I wish he'd let people in more."
Rei followed Rin's gaze, her stomach twisting slightly at the sight of Kakashi's distant figure. She wasn't sure how to respond, nor did she particularly want to. Kakashi's isolation wasn't something she could sympathize with—not when he seemed intent on burying her beneath the weight of his cold indifference.
"I think that's just how he is," Rei said finally, her voice careful and measured. "You can't force someone to open up if they don't want to."
Rin tilted her head, her expression softening. "Maybe, but I feel like he's carrying too much on his own. If he just let someone help him..."
Rei said nothing, but Rin's words seemed to hang in the air between them, heavy with unspoken meaning. It was clear—from the way Rin's voice softened when she spoke about Kakashi, the way her gaze lingered on him with quiet longing—that her feelings for him went beyond simple concern for a friend. And Kakashi, oblivious as ever, didn't seem to notice.
Obito's cheerful expression never wavered as he continued his animated storytelling, his eyes bright with enthusiasm. He seemed entirely focused on regaling Rei and Rin with his latest training exploits, his gestures becoming more exaggerated with each detail.
When Rin's attention drifted towards Kakashi, Obito barely seemed to notice. Instead, he turned to Rei with an even wider grin. "Hey, Rei! You've got to hear about this new jutsu I've been working on. It's going to blow everyone away at the exams!"
His voice rose slightly, carrying across the room. Whether intentional or not, it seemed to catch Kakashi's attention for a brief moment. Kakashi glanced their way, his expression unreadable as always.
Obito, noticing Kakashi's look, couldn't resist a playful jab. "What do you think, Kakashi? Want to see how a real ninja trains?" His tone was light, more cheerful challenge than true antagonism.
Rei watched the interaction with a mixture of amusement and detachment. Obito was always lively, ready to challenge Kakashi in some way or another—whether out of rivalry or simple determination to provoke a reaction. She didn't fully understand their dynamic, but she had come to appreciate the way Obito kept the atmosphere light, even when Kakashi's presence cast its usual shadow of tension.
Kakashi glanced up briefly at Obito's remark, his expression unreadable as always. "Since when were you a real ninja?" he replied simply, his tone carrying the faintest trace of sarcasm before his gaze flickered back to the corner of the room, where he seemed content to keep his distance.
Rin frowned slightly, clearly unimpressed by Kakashi's response, though she didn't comment. Obito, caught off guard for a moment, quickly recovered with his usual enthusiasm. "Oh yeah? Just you wait, Kakashi! I'll show you what a real ninja can do at the exams!"
He turned back to Rei with exaggerated confidence, his grin wide and determined. "And when I'm Hokage, I'll make sure everyone has to call him 'Kakashi the Grump' to really get on his nerves!"
Rin giggled politely at the joke, her attention briefly drawn back to the group, while Rei's smile was faint, her thoughts elsewhere.
Rei cast a sidelong glance at Kakashi, her frustration simmering. He stood off to the side, his arms crossed over his chest, his gaze distant as though he wasn't truly part of the group. It was always like this—him keeping himself apart, making it clear he didn't want to be bothered.
She resented the way he always seemed to judge her without a word, his silence a constant criticism she couldn't escape. Why did he have to be so cold, so unreachable? The fact that he didn't even try to hide it only made things worse.
Rei sighed inwardly, her thoughts souring further. She didn't understand why Kakashi was even here if he was just going to stand on the fringes, looking superior. She turned her attention back to Obito and Rin, finding solace in their friendly chatter.
Sakumo's voice broke through the tense undercurrent, his warm and steady tone cutting through the noise like a balm. "Rei," he called gently, waving her over. "Can I steal you for a moment?"
Rei nodded, her relief immediate as she excused herself from Rin and Obito. She needed the break, the chance to step away from the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions. Following Sakumo to the quieter side of the room, she braced herself for whatever he might say.
When she reached him, Sakumo smiled warmly, his face as calm and reassuring as ever. "I just wanted to thank you for coming tonight. It means a lot to me."
"Of course," Rei replied, her voice softer than she intended. "It's an honor to be here."
Sakumo shook his head lightly, the corner of his mouth quirking up in gentle amusement. "There's no need for talk of honors. You've been through enough already, Rei, yet you continue to move forward. That resilience you've shown... it's something worth admiring."
Rei blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in his words. For a moment, she wasn't sure how to respond, her chest tightening with the weight of his kindness. Before she could find her voice, however, Sakumo's gaze shifted toward his son, lingering on Kakashi, who was still leaning against the far wall.
"I just hope Kakashi can learn that lesson from you someday," he added quietly, his tone thoughtful.
The mention of Kakashi made Rei's shoulders tense immediately, her earlier frustration creeping back in like a familiar shadow. "I don't think Kakashi would agree with you," she said carefully, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "He doesn't seem... interested in what I have to teach."
Sakumo's smile faltered slightly, though his expression remained gentle. "He's... complicated," he admitted, his voice soft yet steady. "But he's not as cold as he seems. There's more going on behind that mask of his than he'll ever let anyone see. The two of you just need time to understand each other."
Rei said nothing, her gaze dropping to the floor. She wanted to believe Sakumo's words, but the knot of frustration in her chest wouldn't let her. It wasn't just time that separated her and Kakashi—it was something deeper, something more stubborn. As much as she wanted to close the gap between them, it felt impossible. He always seemed determined to keep her at arm's length, and she was tired of trying to tear down the walls he refused to lower.
With Sakumo's words lingering in her mind, Rei excused herself to fetch some tea from the table. As she walked back across the room, she caught another glance at the group she'd left behind. Rin had taken a seat beside Kakashi, her posture angled toward him as she asked a quiet question about chakra control techniques. Kakashi, leaning back against the wall with his arms still crossed, gave her a curt but precise answer, his tone devoid of any real interest. Rin didn't seem to notice—or care—as her gaze remained on him, her admiration clear in the way her shoulders straightened at his response.
Sakumo's voice rang out again, warm and commanding enough to pull everyone's attention. "Everyone, let's gather around," he said, gesturing toward the center of the room. "A small toast to mark the occasion."
Rei reluctantly moved closer with the others, finding her place beside Obito, with Rin and Kakashi standing opposite them. Anko flopped cheerfully onto the couch nearby, already halfway into her second plate of food, and Fugaku and Mikoto found a quiet spot together toward the back, their presence measured and dignified as always. Rin's father and Anko's parents cut their conversation short. Sakumo raised a glass of sake—not quite formal, but still filled with his trademark warmth—and smiled at the group.
"I want to thank you all for being here tonight," Sakumo began, his calm voice filling the room. "This isn't just a celebration for me—it's a reminder of the people who've stood by me through the good times and the bad. I wouldn't be here without that support." His eyes lingered on each of them as he spoke, his gaze holding a weight that felt both comforting and humbling.
When his eyes fell on Rei, his expression softened further. "I owe a special thanks to Rei," he continued, his voice warm with gratitude. "Her quick thinking and bravery saved my life. It's a debt I can never fully repay."
Sakumo's gaze swept across the room once more. "I'm looking forward to what's ahead, and I hope we can continue to trust and learn from each other, as we always have. May we all grow stronger together, supporting one another through whatever challenges lie ahead."
The group raised their cups in response, offering variations of "to Sakumo!" or "congratulations!" Anko, naturally, cheered the loudest, drawing a few chuckles from the room. Even Kakashi raised his glass, though his lips barely moved as he murmured the words.
As the toast concluded, the gathering began to disperse into smaller groups once more. Rei found herself drifting towards the edge of the room, the weight of the evening's emotions and interactions beginning to press down on her. The constant vigilance required to navigate the social dynamics, coupled with the unexpected spotlight from Sakumo's words, left her feeling drained and slightly overwhelmed.
Needing a moment to herself, Rei slipped away from the main group and made her way towards the back of the house. She found the shoji door leading to the backyard and quietly slid it open, stepping out into the cool night air. The garden was small but well-kept, with a few stone lanterns casting a soft glow over the carefully manicured plants and a small koi pond.
Rei took a deep breath, letting the quiet of the night wash over her. Here, away from the buzz of conversation and the weight of expectation, she could finally relax a little. She moved to the edge of the engawa, sitting down and letting her feet dangle just above the grass. The sky above was clear, stars twinkling faintly beyond the glow of the village lights.
She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear the soft footsteps approaching until a voice broke the silence.
"Enjoying the attention?"
Rei stiffened, recognizing Kakashi's voice immediately. She didn't turn to look at him, keeping her gaze fixed on the garden before her. "What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice edged with annoyance she didn't bother to hide.
Kakashi stepped closer, his presence unsettling even without looking at him. "My father's toast," he said, his tone cold. "He made it all about you. Pretty convenient, isn't it?"
Rei felt her frustration ignite, sharp and immediate. She turned to face him, narrowing her eyes. "Convenient? I didn't ask for any of that," she snapped. "I didn't ask to be dragged into your family's mess—or for your father to—"
She stopped herself, the words catching in her throat. Her hands clenched at her sides as she reined in her emotions, her voice quieter but no less fierce. "I didn't save him for attention, Kakashi. I saved him because someone had to."
Kakashi's gaze hardened, his irritation brimming just below the surface. "You think that makes you important? You think stepping in that one time makes you better than me? You don't understand anything."
"Then explain it to me!" Rei shot back, stepping forward, her voice rising. "Instead of standing there judging me like you always do!"
Kakashi's jaw tightened, his arms crossing defensively over his chest. "You wouldn't get it," he muttered, his tone clipped but weighted.
Rei laughed bitterly, shaking her head. "You're unbelievable. You act like you're the only one who's ever dealt with something hard! I do get it, Kakashi. You think I don't know what it feels like to be scared—to freeze in place because everything is falling apart around you? I've lived it. I lost my father to it."
Her words hit a nerve, and Kakashi's expression shifted—his detachment flickering as something raw and unguarded surfaced for just a moment. But instead of responding, his gaze flicked away, retreating behind his walls as quickly as they'd cracked.
Rei sighed, the fire in her tone dimming but her frustration no less intense. "The difference between us is I don't hold it against you for freezing back then. It's not your fault. The least you could do is stop twisting everything I do into something it's not."
Kakashi's shoulders stiffened, his voice sharp when he finally replied. "I'm not twisting anything. I've seen the way people look at you now. You like it, don't you? The way they treat you differently."
Rei stepped closer, her glare fierce and unwavering. "I don't care how people look at me, Kakashi. I don't care about what you think of me either. I did what I thought was right—what I had to do. That's all. Stop trying to turn this into something else."
The air between them was charged with tension, the argument hanging unresolved and heavy. Kakashi didn't respond, his expression unreadable as he stared at her.
Rei exhaled sharply, turning away from him. "You can stay out here if you want," she muttered, her voice quieter now. "But I'm done. I don't have time for this."
She slid the shoji door open and stepped back into the house, leaving Kakashi standing alone in the garden. He didn't follow her, his gaze fixed on the ground as the quiet night pressed in around him like a weight he couldn't shake.