"Eve, Everett." Someone shouted my name as I walked on the street, and my breath hitched at the sound of that voice. It was raining heavily, pouring so much, and in between the sound of the rain, I didn't miss the wave of sensation his voice brought to me. It's been what, years? I abruptly stopped my step and turned back to see whether it was real or if I was hallucinating.
Silas stopped in front of me, breathing heavily. I wasn't hallucinating; it was him, my Silas. When he got his breathing under control, he smiled widely as he saw me. "Hey." His smile went wider, and I couldn't help but smile back at him. "Hi." "Oh god, it's been years. Where the hell were you?" "Here," I answered without missing a beat, and he rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean." He forced a chuckle as he said that, and I nodded at that. "I know."
We stood in silence, and the sound of rain filled the silence. "I mean, Eve, there was no goodbye; you just disappeared." He spoke, hurt evident in his voice. "I did call you to explain the situation, but your cell was either switched off or unreachable. You didn't even try to contact me when you were on vacation." I explained calmly as the old memories assaulted me. Thank God the rain stopped, and I should get going. "My manager is waiting; I should get going." I started walking away from him, toward the manager's car, before he could even reply to me.
My manager and I had come to the restaurant to meet a client who wanted to renovate his farmhouse. It was a big farmhouse, and this was a huge deal for us; along with this, we got a few more deals. We were happy with our achievement as we rode back to our company.
As we entered the company, we took note of everything, and it was already evening. I bid goodbye to my colleagues with a cheerful voice and exited the company, with my mind full of Silas. Same old, same old; I have not changed. It's been five years, for god's sake.
I am Everett Miles, an architect in a big company, with a tall, slim body with a bit of muscle, black hair, brown eyes, and a bright brown skin tone. I was not eye candy, but I was ok—good, not average, but a good-looking guy.
I debated my sexuality for two years; I was torn when I couldn't conclude, and then Silas happened. Things clicked as I saw him for the first time, playing basketball, and I didn't blink for several seconds. My throat went dry when my eyes roamed over his body without waiting for my permission, and I was just 15.
I joined the team for a reason, and yes, things clicked; we became friends. Later, I was introduced to his female best friend, Freya Colton. We started hanging out together; I couldn't fit in no matter what. Their chemistry was old and gold. They had a strong bond because they grew up together from childhood, so yeah, I tried hard to fit in. Silas was making things easy for me, but I couldn't say the same for Freya. To this day, I am not able to tell whether she liked me or not, but it was good old times.
When Silas and I were hanging out together, the vibe would be completely different and more lovely. One thing led to another, and he proposed to me, with the condition that we go public when Silas wanted. Which was a huge red flag. Silas was confused and scared, and he wanted to confirm before announcing it to everyone. As I was crazy about him, I was ok. Only Freya knew about us.
At the beginning, while Silas was taking me on a date, he was making sure Freya was tagging along with us. So, things would look normal to the outside world. She was an attention seeker, and Freya would end up being the main focus till the end of the date, which I didn't mind a bit.
As the months passed, I got used to everything. I turned into a fine actor around them; Silas had no clue what was going on in my mind, and he never tried to read my silence. He gave his full attention to his best friend, making sure of her well-being, even the tiny things about her. When it was 6 months into being in a relationship with him, I confirmed he was not putting enough effort into our relationship, holding himself back, and was scared as hell. Again, a red flag that I ignored.
I still remember the day when three of us were hanging out in Silas's mansion. Well, did I mention that both Silas and Freya were rich like hell, and both fathers ran large companies? Silas is athletic, tempting, and has a strong personality. Handsome; it's kind of a perk of being rich or something. On the other hand, Freya was gorgeous, as I said, a perk of being filthy rich. As time went on, we were hungry, and Silas ordered pizza along with soft drinks and fruit juice. Our order arrived, and I collected it.
I placed the order on the table and opened it; it was Freya's favorite, including soft drinks. Silas is not picky; he would eat anything, but I was a little picky. I didn't like alpino on the pizza, along with capsicum, but both were present on the two pizzas. Soft drinks for Silas and fruit juices were for Freya and me. He made sure to instruct that no sugar was added to either fruit juice, but I prefer an exact amount of sugar in my juice. "There is no sugar in my juice." I pointed out, and he knitted at that. "Oh, you like it with sugar!" I don't know whether it was a question or a statement. I have ordered so many times in front of him, and as usual, he never paid attention. "There are alpino and capsicum too." I pointed out again. "Oh." He started scratching his head sheepishly. "Sorry, I didn't think much before ordering." Of course, he didn't. "You are, darling, Silas." She made sure to counter as she started eating the pizza.
She would accompany us while we went to watch a movie, making sure to grab his attention throughout the movie, making weird comments and faces, so Silas could laugh at it. For sure, as the movie ended, Silas's face would turn red, and sometimes, he couldn't stop laughing. I always thought something was going on between them, but I never found the proof. I almost thought of giving up, but I saw them kissing at one of the parties. I had just entered the party; the scene greeted me, and I retraced my steps without uttering a word.
My dad didn't like me much because of my sexuality, and I was close with my mom. I shared everything with her, and she was displeased but never voiced her opinion, leaving me in charge. After the party, I thought they would both open up about the kiss; there would be some changes between them, some awkwardness, but there were none. The bonding was at the same level; neither of them ever admitted about kissing each other.
As the three of us turned 17, Freya started dating, and I never felt relieved about that. They both were thick and thin, so Silas always made sure about who she was seeing and everything about the guy. Our relationship took a step further, as Silas started kissing me but never acknowledged our relationship openly. Still, he was scared; it's not like their parents were homophobic, but who knows. As a good guy, I gave myself the boyfriend title in the relationship as he was taking his sweet time.
I was a sucker for him, enduring everything that he threw. He was pro in basketball; while he was playing on the court, I was present to cheer him up along with Freya, but only her voice was heard on the court, and Silas always waved at her. She was too open, and everyone on campus thought they were a thing, and neither of them reacted or corrected them. Silas wanted that, and of course, Freya too, but I don't know why she didn't make any move.
I was there in Silas's life, constantly making sure everything was ok and hoping our relationship would be public someday. The first breakup for Freya stressed both of us out. She kept crying over the guy, and Silas didn't like it a bit. He turned over every stone to cheer her up. He dragged her from her room, buying her gifts, taking her to her favorite spot, whatnot. Silas made sure I was always tagging along with him.
As we turned 18, she fell seriously for someone. I could tell because of the way Freya was watching Simon, her second boyfriend. I wanted to sigh in relief as she was hanging out with Simon most of the time. Silas was completely mine in those few hours, or even some days. We started having sex, and things felt good and easy after that. We bonded; I was counting the days until he was going to openly acknowledge our relationship.
My dad died due to blood cancer as I turned 19, and my mom and I were devastated. He was the only earning member, and we had a little bit of debt. Silas was there, trying to share the burden, and it was enough for me. He was there to wipe my tears, making sure that I was ok. I enjoyed those days with him, as I didn't get to share him with Freya.
Freya broke up with Simon as I was slowly coming out of my father's loss. She was more devastated than the first time and started acting like crazy. Silas didn't waste a second and left my side immediately. It was just a week after my father passed. I didn't stop him, as he made it clear so many times where his priority lies.
Things were too tough at home; we were suffering from everything, and my mom was in huge pain. My dad was her first love, so I can understand how devastated she felt. Things got even crazier when Freya tried to commit suicide. After that, Freya's family was always on edge, as she was their only daughter. Silas completely left my side after the incident, and I needed him more in that situation. He stopped contacting me for a few days, as Freya was in the hospital and I was in my own misery to deal with. My mom sold everything she had—shares and jewels—and cleared my dad's debt, but we never felt peace at our place.
One day, Silas called and informed me he was going on vacation with Freya because she needed one the most, and she needed a change for fifteen days. I informed my mom of the same, and she chuckled in return, not uttering a word, pointing out my stupidity.
My mom suddenly felt chest pain, and she was admitted to the hospital. Nothing was severe, so she was discharged the next day. I felt disappointed in myself as I failed her. "Eve, I need to leave this place." One day, my mom spoke as we were silently eating our dinner. "I couldn't take this anymore; this place is killing me." She started crying, and I hugged her immediately. "Please take me from here." She begged, and I couldn't stop my tears.
Immediately, I tried calling Silas, which was either switched off or unreachable. It was seven days; he didn't contact me once. "Enough is enough, Eve." My mom barked the words as she was descending the steps. "The real estate agent finalised the deal, and I am taking it." I nodded at her. "I have accepted the job offer too, and I am sorry." I chuckled at that, not getting why she was sorry for it. "I need to give a proper ending, right?" She sighed at that. "Not every story needs an ending, Eve; it should be left where it should be." I hummed at that, once more dialling Silas's number. "Tomorrow morning, we are leaving for good." That's all she said before bidding good night.
Things happen for a reason, and probably I needed this. I didn't argue with my mom. Everything was packed the next day, and we were near the car. "Hand over your cell." My mom stretched her hand toward me; reluctantly, I handed my cell to her. Immediately, she took the SIM out of the cell and threw it on the ground before making sure it was thoroughly broken. My eyes went wide in shock. For a few seconds, I stayed stunned in place. "Get in." My mom rolled her eyes as she saw my expression. "Eve." She shouted, and I collapsed on the passenger seat with a thud. "This is for good." She stated as the engine came to life.
*************************
I greeted my mom as I entered the house. "Guess who I met today?" I spoke while leaning on the kitchen counter as she cooked dinner. "Who?" "Silas." "You mean Silas, Silas?" She tried to cross-confirm. "Yup, the one and only," I confirmed, and she chuckled in return. "What was he doing here?" "I don't know." "So, how was meeting him after all these years?" "I don't know; it was unexpected, but it was inevitable. I knew I would meet him someday." She nodded in return. "Don't think too much; go get freshened up." I nodded at her, walking toward my room. Honestly speaking, I was not thinking about anything, but he still occupied my mind from the time I saw him.
It's not that I felt something for him, but the memories with him are not quite what I am fond of. There is not even a memory that I want to treasure about us, so that would give me a good reason not to think about him. Irrespective of all that, I think about Silas; after all, he was my first crush, and because of him, I could conclude my sexuality. I could have sought things out about my sexuality eventually if I had waited or if I had eyed any other eye candy just like him, but Silas was different. Maybe his features attracted me more, but he felt damn special. Yeah, he is my past, not a positive one, but unless he was.
The next day, as I entered the company, I started working on the new project. My manager set a target for that, and we needed to get through it. It was lunchtime, and I went to grab lunch with my colleagues in the cafeteria. My social life is satisfactory. I am friendly with almost everyone in my department; I hang out whenever I want with them and am close with a few.
They were pulling each other's leg as we were having lunch, talking about everything and anything. I was laughing while I watched them, elated to have them around me.
I walked out of the company as the clock hit my exit time; it was later than usual. I hummed as I inhaled the air, feeling a bit relaxed, and the constant honking from the car ruined it. I scanned the surroundings, wanting to know where it was coming from; it was from across the road. Silas waved at me as he got the attention he needed. "Common." He shouted at me. Suppressing a groan, I crossed the road to meet him.
I was surprised as I saw him. How did he get to know where I was working? I smiled as we were face-to-face. "What are you doing at my workplace? How did you know where I was working?" I bombarded him with questions, and he chuckled in return. "I have met your manager before." That answered part of my question, and I nodded in return. "You were in a hurry yesterday; we couldn't catch up. Let's grab dinner together." I was taken aback at the sudden request, and I couldn't deny it to his face. I can't be rude, as it's not my nature. Besides, it's just dinner; we were a thing in the past, and we need to catch up. I nodded at him, and he drove the car as we both got in.
He had reserved a table, and it was only 15 minutes away from the company. We talked a bit about that and this. As I guessed, he had taken over the company and shifted his workplace to this city. I nodded whenever it was necessary.
We arrived at the high-end hotel, and I had never visited this one, as it was pricey like hell. A waiter guided us to our table. We took the table, and the menu was passed. After ordering our food and wine from Silas, the waiter left us. Silas stared at me without uttering a word, and I let him. It's not that we don't have anything to talk about; there was a lot. I don't want to bring up the past, as I left for good, but I can't say the same thing about Silas.
"You left Eve without a word." He slowly started, and I didn't find it a big deal; that's how deep we were. I inwardly chuckled at the irony. "How could you do that? I mean, not even a word just disappeared." He sighed, sounding sad. "Imagine my shock when I got back from the trip. I ran to your place to meet you." Wow, that was touchy; sometimes he would do these sorts of things. "Not only did you disappear without a word, Eve, but you also completely threw me out of your life. Changed your number and never contacted me." He took the glass of water and started sipping it. "I was constantly checking my phone for something from you. I was answering every call from an unknown number." I sighed, and our order arrived. I didn't waste time; before digging into it, I was starving like hell. Silas chuckled as he saw me. "Heartless." He mumbled and started filling his plate too.
A moan left me as the taste flooded my mouth. "Wow." I smiled as I watched the chicken gravy. "It's too good," I said; Silas watched me without blinking. I don't know why. He nodded, mumbling thanks. By the halfway point, my stomach felt good as part of it was filled, and I was steady enough to answer his question.
"It was a sudden decision," I said slowly. "My mum, she was suffering. My dad and I didn't have a good bond, but my mom loved him so much." "You didn't have a good bond with your dad?" Silas questioned me, and I rolled my eyes. As I said before, I didn't have a bond with Silas either. "No, I didn't. My dad passed, and she was devastated. She needed a new start." He slowly nodded. "That doesn't explain why you completely disappeared from my life." "I called you immediately, as we agreed, about moving," I stated matter-of-factly. "Freya and I were in a deserted area, and my cell barely had any signal." "Well, forgive me for not having that information." I mocked, and he huffed. "You didn't even contact me, at least once." I further explained why it felt so necessary to take such a step. "It was not purposeful, Eve." "Well, would you return, cutting the trip short, if I somehow informed you?" I was genuinely curious; deep inside I knew the answer. "Freya needed me more than ever." I chuckled at that. "And I didn't?" "I thought you had things under control." "You just thought and flew.I am really confused; why are you sitting here and complaining? As far as I can gather from everything, nothing affected you." This dinner was a bad idea, and things are triggering only me. "I was devastated too when I got to know you just disappeared, Eve. Constantly called you, and I searched for you." Thank God, he didn't find me, not that I would have crawled back to him. "Why did you change the number? This was on purpose, right?" "My mum threw my SIM, and I didn't find a point to stop her," I said, wiping my mouth, satisfied with dinner and the wine.
Silas went silent after hearing everything, sipping the water slowly. "You are harsh." He spoke slowly. "You have changed too." Truth hit harder. "Things happen for a reason, Silas, and I changed for a reason." I leaned on the chair as I spoke, and he nodded at that. "We should go; it's already late." He checked the watch and stood up. We walked towards the exit, and I started searching for an Uber.
"Thanks for the dinner." I didn't know whether to shake hands with him formally, so I held back the gesture. He rolled his eyes at that. "I will get going," I said as I found the Uber. "How?" "Uber." "No, I will drop you off; get in." I wanted to deny it at the instant, but Silas already started walking towards the car.
The ride to my home was 30 minutes, and I tried to stay quiet. Not that I didn't have anything to say or share with him, but staying silent felt too good at present. Silas stayed silent most of the ride, asking typical things about my mom and my job.
The car was parked in front of my home, which was a one-story building consisting of two rooms, a hall, a kitchen, and a small garden area. There is also space for car parking, and only my mum has one. I need to save money to buy the car; my mom insists that I should take hers, but I don't want to. She works at two different places, and she needs it the most.
I walked out of the car, and Silas followed my footsteps. We stayed near the entrance, in silence. I avoided my eyes as best as possible so they didn't wander to him. There is this tiny bit that I am holding on to something about him, not letting it go. It's mine; only I don't get to share it with anyone.
"You should have at least stayed in contact, Eve," Silas said slowly. "I don't know where or what went wrong, but I would have loved it if you had pointed it out." He further explained. "I compromised too much," I thoughtfully stated. "Because I had hope in our relationship, I held on to it." My memory started serving me better at this time, reminding me of every awkward situation that I went through so our secret would be safer. "I reached a point where I lost hope, and stating or pointing out doesn't change a thing." I took a long sigh. "The relationship needed validation and acknowledgement, and we were 19, stuck." I pondered over the things for a few seconds. "That only concludes that I wasn't the right person and we were not right for each other," I concluded. "That's not true," Silas said while panicking, and I chuckled at that, not getting the reason for his panic.
"I was a coward; I know that, and I hesitated too much. I took things for granted because I knew you would be there for me, forever." He took a few steps towards me, leaving little space between us. "I never saw anyone as I saw you, trust me, no one. I may be an idiot, but I never felt the same way with anyone else, Eve." My heart thudded at that, and I suppressed a groan. "Let's not complicate things anymore, Silas. Things are left to reason, and let's keep it that way." He is a disaster, I tell you. Silas nodded at that, and I started walking, bidding good night to him. Suddenly, he held my hand, and I turned to him. "At least give me your number now; let's try to catch up sometime." I don't like that, not a bit. He is bad news most of the time.
"Silas." I groaned. "I don't think..." The sentence was cut short. "Common, for the sake of old times, please." I huffed at that. We exchanged numbers, and he didn't remove his hand from mine. Once again, I murmured good night, and he smiled, bid goodbye, and walked towards his car. I was in the same place, watching him. "Get inside; I will move." Or else, he doesn't move, or what? This is new and crazy. I nodded and entered my home.
My mom was at the door, and she watched the whole exchange. As I entered, she arched an eyebrow. "Good night, woman." I ran and walked to my room, my heart still thudding for no reason.
******************
'I am outside.' I reread the message from Silas. I sighed, not understanding what he was doing outside the company. We met three days ago and have been constantly in touch through messages and calls for no reason. I got up from the chair and started walking outside. When I saw Silas, he smiled and waved at me; I couldn't help but wave back.
"What are you doing here?" I spoke as I walked. "It's lunchtime, and we are going for lunch." I rolled my eyes at that. "There was an appointment around here. As it was lunchtime, I thought of taking you along with me." I nodded at that. "I also need to talk to you about something." He didn't give me a chance to answer and guided me to the passenger seat.
Once again, it was a fancy, high-end restaurant. I really hate to spend so much on a meal, but I can't back off now. "I am going to pay the bill," I told him as we took the seat. "But I took you to lunch." He protested immediately. "Last time, you paid; let me pay this time." He grinned at that. "If you want to pay, then take me to lunch or dinner." I glared at him, and he smirked in return. "Silas, please." "That's settled, darling. Next time, take me to dinner or lunch; ice cream is also fine with me." As he said, he winked at me, and I smiled, shaking my head. The waiter arrived; we placed the order.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" He was drinking water, placing the glass on the table. He spoke. "Yeah, about that." He pondered for a while. "I have purchased a flat; I want to renovate it." I hummed at that. "It's new and plain, and I want you to design it." Our order arrived; we started filling our plates. "I think you have some idea about how you want to renovate it, right?" Silas chuckled at that. "A lot, actually." This time, I chuckled in return. "I will make an appointment; I will accompany my manager. We can discuss it together." I proposed. "Ok, and that would be professional." I knitted my eyebrows in confusion. "Well, about you taking me out." He elaborated, and I shook my head at that. I didn't agree or deny it, but he was already looking forward.
"I informed Freya about meeting you, and she was excited." I bet she was, and I smiled politely in return at Silas. "She wants us to hang out together like old times." Oh, goody, I can't wait. "I know we can't enjoy it like the old golden days, but at least once we should hang out together." He suggested, and reluctantly I nodded at Silas. It was never golden days to me; quite the opposite—miserable, and at the end of the day, I felt pathetic.
"What is she doing these days? What about her life?" Out of courtesy, I asked; I don't give a damn about her life. Silas's face lit up at that, and this time, it was hard to suppress the groan. "She is a mother." I was taken aback at that. "Excuse me," Silas chuckled. "Yes, she is a mother of a girl, and the gorgeous baby is around 2 years old. Her name is Hazel." He fucking knocked her. My eyes went wide, and Silas kept smiling. "Freya is in a relationship with Liam, which is on and off, actually." I coughed at that. "She met him in her modelling days. I don't know what the problem is between them. One day, they will be together, and the next time, they will be on a break." He air-quoted the last part. A person need not be a genius to guess the bloody problem, and I know she is the sole problem in their relationship. "I am a proud godfather of baby darling Hazel." His smile was bright, contagious. He likes kids so much. I nodded at the information. I can read Freya like an open book, and trust me, this is one of her tactics. She locked Silas for life; oh boy, this is getting interesting. "When she proposed the idea of being her daughter's godfather, I was over the moon." His smile is too vibrant, which I wanted to wipe off. "I love that kid so much; she is cute as hell." He went on, and that smile is not dimming a little. "Whenever I am around her, she will be glued to me, not budging from me. Always asking for me, and I tell you her own dad is jealous of me." Han, han, that's all left from me. He went on about the gifts, toys, and her likes and dislikes; oh boy, this lunch could not get any better.
Silas dropped me off at my company, and we said goodbye. My mood was completely off, but I made sure to inform my manager about Silas's new project.
As I returned home, I freshened up and helped my mum while she cooked dinner. We were at the table when I broke the latest news. I couldn't stop myself. "Freya is the mother of a baby girl who is around 2 years old, and Silas is her godfather." I ranted, covering everything, and my mum looked surprised. "He is not the father." I chuckled at that; I really thought he knocked her off. "No, someone called Liam or something; I couldn't remember. An on-and-off relationship." My mum chuckled at that. "This is one of her ways of making sure Silas is tied to her," I added, irritated for no reason. She hummed at that. "Do you want more salt?" I glared at her, and she started laughing. "You should let go, you know." "I have," I immediately countered my mum, and she rolled her eyes. "Right!" I huffed at that, feeling offended. I have let him go, but not completely. The tiny bit that I am holding, I should let go of too, and I will. This is a clear sign of history repeating, and I am not the same old person to get involved with Silas once again. The future with him is zero or nonexistent.
Things were good; I was content with how I was living and with the people around me. After all these years, why did I have to meet him? Everything was good, as it was. I never missed him a day; I never thought to contact him, not even once. I moved on like he didn't exist in any part of my life, and I had to meet him. And he is constantly meeting me, and this new project—more bloody meetings. Oh god, I thought I got a break from him and from his best friend. "Good night, baby." My mum stood watching my face, mocking pity on her face, and I groaned as I watched her. "Good night, lady," I replied to her. "Sleep well." It was clearly mocking, I tell you. I don't know why I share everything with her.
The following week, I fixed an appointment with Silas, and one meeting led to a few more. When Silas set his mind on something or an idea, the outcome should reach his level. He had a unique plan for his apartment, which was very spacious, by the way. He had planned every tiny bit; I mean, what he wanted, where, and the details were too much but too good. He also designed a room for his goddaughter; oh god, he gives every reason to think that girl is her own daughter. My manager, at one point, clarified with me whether she is her own daughter, and begrudgingly I shook my head.
Lunch and dinner became too casual, but neither of us gave any hint of anything other than friendship between us. I really don't have time for this. The three of us—I, Silas, and my manager—were giving the final touches to the plan for the renovation when Silas's cell started ringing. I couldn't help but sneak a look at the caller ID, and it was Freya. As the call ended, Silas immediately stood up from the seat. "Sorry, guys, we need to postpone this. I need to pick up my granddaughter." He smiled apologetically while rushing to the door. My eyes were on the door till his figure disappeared. "He sure loves that kid so much." My manager spoke fondly, and I didn't find any fondness, nor was I jealous, but I was more guarded than before. Before, Silas was trapped in the name of her best friend; now, in the form of her kid. I don't have anything against the kid, who is not aware of what's going on except her mother, uff. We packed our stuff and walked towards the car.
I couldn't escape the get-together this time. Silas was suggesting that three of us should meet and catch up; three times I had come up with something. This time, I couldn't.
I entered the restaurant, plastering a smile on my face, and those two were already seated. Freya squealed like a kid as I entered and hugged me tightly. She better choke me for once, rather than experimenting on me. I hugged her back and took the seat opposite them. Of course, they sat together, through thick and shit.
"I missed you, Eve, when you disappeared. Silas was devastated, you know, and went crazy for a few months. If I weren't there, trust me, no one could have handled him." I almost rolled my eyes at that. She didn't give me a second to catch my breath, already bombarding me with questions. As if I am answerable to her. "Freya, please, we discussed." Silas pleaded with her. "No, he needs to know. He ghosted you, Silas, and you both were in a relationship for god's sake, dated for years." She is really testing me. The waiter arrived. Silas placed the order, including Freya's, and I ordered mine. Typical, I coughed at that.
"Congratulations on your motherhood." I wanted to divert her from the topic, and what would be better than bringing something she sketched and validated? She smiled widely hearing that. "Well, she is my bundle of joy, Eve." I snorted lightly at that. "Handling her sometimes is too much, but I don't know how Silas is so good at handling her." Such an innocent question; I wonder why. "Eve, you know it's irritating and frustrating most of the time. I sometimes question why I became a mother at a young age. "Freya." That was a warning tone, and Freya shut her mouth immediately. "I can't even complain?" She questioned innocently. "No, because you wanted this, and I cross-questioned you so many times, and you were sure about this. So, no, you can't bloody complain about anything." Silas can be calm as hell, enduring. Don't get on his bad side; don't make the guy angry. "I was just..." By the time our order arrived, as usual, I started to fill my plate without uttering a word. The past is recreated in my adult life.
"I love my daughter, Eve, and she loves this idiot so much. I don't have words to describe their bond." Han, han. Silas smiled brightly in return. She has wrapped him so well. "What about her dad?" Just to get on her nerves or to change the topic, I don't know, but I questioned her. "Liam, oh, he loves her too. I mean, he gets annoyed and everything, but he loves her." She smiled as she spoke, and I nodded at that. "But I know who my daughter loves the most." Her eyes fell on Silas, and I rolled my eyes at that.
"Eve, how are you? What are you doing these days? You didn't answer my previous question: why did you disappear? Puff, just like that." I groaned inwardly at that; she has fucking nerve to ask these questions. "A change was much needed for my mum and me. I am not going to answer anything else. I am working as an architect in a well-known company." She nodded and continued chewing her food. "What about your mum?" "Good, busy, working." Once again, she nodded her head. "We should do this more, going to the party, getting together like this." She gave a broad, dreamy smile. She can dream on that. "Yes, she is right, Eve. We should do this more." Why not? They both swore on making me a third wheel the whole of my damn life. "No promises. Adult life comes with responsibility, and I have a tonne of it," I said while eyeing Silas particularly.
"You know there is one more reason for this meeting," Freya said slowly; I waited for her touch. "You are an architect, and I have purchased a flat." And I knew where she had bought this flat. Silas was shocked after hearing that. "What? Where? Why didn't you inform me?" Typical Silas. "It was a surprise, Silas. After Liam and I discussed it, we purchased a flat in your apartment building, just like yours; it's spacious." For a few seconds, Silas went numb, not knowing how to respond to the latest news. "My daughter can't stay away from you, Silas, and you would be too far away once the renovation is done to your flat. She will suffer, and I can't let her." Slowly, Silas nodded at that. "I mean, so soon, how did you?" His words were cut off. "Anything is possible for my dad, Silas. Please." I chuckled at that. "Eve, you are taking care of the renovation. Silas informed me you were in charge of his flat, and I couldn't find a better person other than you." "Of course, I will." The more the merrier. My eyes fell on Silas, who still looked stupefied after hearing the news. Well, this is getting interesting; as usual, Freya always makes sure to leave her touch.
I was at the housewarming ceremony of Freya's new flat. She wanted to have a final talk today with her boyfriend, so she forced me to attend. Her flat was just above Silas's, as all flats were booked on the same floor as Silas.
As I entered, the three of them had a brief conversation before guests started arriving, and Silas went to pick her daughter up from Freya's friend's place. I grabbed snacks and drinks near the counter to pass the time, as everyone was busy. Silas entered carrying Freya's kid. What's the girl's name? I will ask Silas later. I focused my attention on the kid, who was with her mother. She was gorgeous for 2 years; the outcome is a damn good mix of both father and mother. I am not getting what the problem is between them, but they are not coming to terms with anything, especially things related to this flat. Silas came out with his princess and started greeting the guests. "Hey." Liam joined me by handing me another soft drink, and I nodded at him. "Enjoying." "Yes." I wanted to add more but held back. "Silas told me all about the reunion thing." He studied my face as he said that. "A happy reunion." I tried my best to look happy; if he buys it, that's good, or else that's his problem.
"They look like a couple, right?" His hand was in the direction of Silas and Freya, along with the princess, who looked like a happy family greeting everyone. "Indeed, they are thick and thin from childhood." "Yeah." His voice went meek at that; I get the guy, you know. I was in the same position before, totally; I get him. "So many people mistook them as couples, not once or twice, but many times." Probably this was the reason for the on-and-off. "But I trust Silas." That last part took me off guard. Immediately, I faced him, and he chuckled as he saw me. "I haven't known him for many years, but I can trust him with my eyes closed." I nodded at that. "Yes, you can." Barely containing the anger in my voice.
"So, how is your career going?" He groaned at that. "Too many competitions, but Silas, beside me, sometimes things flow easily." He added earnestly. "Where are your and Freya's parents?" "My parents are out of town, and Freya's has not accepted me yet," I hummed. "Their status bullshit and everything." I chuckled at that. "Congratulations on this." I gestured to the flat, and he sighed defeatingly. "Well, I have not contributed to this flat, not even a penny, so technically speaking it's Freya's." I hummed, completely getting him; I am middle class too. "So, you won't stay here?" "Of course, I would, when we are on good terms." That earned a chuckle from me, and he smiled lightly. The guy is sweet, nice, and humble, and he is putting up with Freya, which is a good sign, if you ask me.
"When you left the town, before or after they started dating?" I stopped the drink in midair, not quite getting his sentence. I opened my mouth and closed it too quickly to answer anything. "You didn't know that they dated at one point?" "Oh." Slowly, the word left me, and I was now getting the meaning of his sentence completely. They dated? Why am I even surprised?
"What are you guys talking about?" Silas joined us with a broad smile. "About you dating Freya," Liam stated blindly, and Silas was taken aback by that. His eyes fell on me; immediately, I don't know why. Liam excused himself as his friend entered the place. The tension was palpable, but I would not sink into it. "You know, it's not even that surprising," I stated to reduce some tension with a smile on my face. Silas knitted at that. "Common, someday it was bound to happen the way you both were. Everyone close to you was expecting and counting the days." I answered his question with a slight smile. It hurt a little even after these years. "Suddenly you disappeared, and she was constantly beside me. We wanted, you know.′ Give it a try." I hummed at that. "As I said, it's bound to happen someday." "But it lasted for a few months; clearly, something was missing in our relationship." He stated. "And we vowed not to commit the same mistake again." He chuckled, and I forced a smile in return.
"Why? I mean, you guys were close and knew each other for many years." I trailed off; I shouldn't have poked for more. "There was clear chemistry between you two when you kissed each other at the party." I couldn't hold back; all these years I held enough. Silas's eyes went wide at that. "You knew?" I chuckled at that. "I saw both of you kissing in the middle of the party." He started fishing for words, clearly lost. "You never confronted me about it." "I was waiting for you guys to open up," I stated calmly. "But you never did." "We were too drunk, and we kissed. I thought it was just a kiss and didn't matter." He averted his eyes, and I was confused by his behaviour. "I didn't confront you because I didn't want to make things more awkward, and you guys acted all normal, so I played along with you guys," I stated more calmly this time, getting a hold of the situation. He is too good at giving me reasons. More reasons why I did what I did and never get involved with him.
"Really though, it was just a kiss. While we both dated, we had sex, not before that." I chuckled at that. "While dating, sex will be the main course; you can't dodge or deny it." I tried to humour the situation because this was too much information. "Silas," Freya called him. "I will drop you off, ok; you are not going on that Uber. It will be late by the time you leave the place." As if I were a girl and had never been anywhere late at night, I nodded at him, as he was eager to reach his best friend.
The party went on; Silas was around his granddaughter and Freya the whole time. Freya and Liam introduced me to a few people who could be possible clients in the future. It was worth it if I set aside the things that almost triggered me.
One by one, guests started to bid goodbye; in no time, half of the crowd was already cleared. "Eve, Silas was lulling my daughter to sleep, and he slept along with her." She chuckled as she spoke and nodded at her, bidding goodbye for the day. I also waved at Liam while I exited the flat.
I booked an Uber; it was late at night, and the traffic was light; in no time I reached home. After paying the driver, I walked to the entrance, in a foul mood. My mom was still awake watching TV. I joined her. "You are late." "I got many potential clients today," I answered her, and she hummed in return. "Should we watch a movie? I will get popcorn." "It's late at night, and you have work tomorrow." She groaned at that. "What a shitty life we are leading, right?" I coughed at that. "At least we have a roof over our heads." "As long as we pay rent," she countered. "We have seen people on the street, Mom, and you are with me," I answered without missing a beat, and she smiled broadly in return.
"When are you going to date?" "When are you going to date?" I asked her the same thing. "Hey, you are young and everything." "You are only 48." She huffed at that. She leaned on the couch, and I did the same. "I don't know, but there is this one guy." My ears perked up at that. "Please go on." She chuckled at that. "He has been giving signals for the past three months, and I am not ready to give a chance to anyone." I hummed at that. "It's been years, and you should get over Dad." "Same applies to you too." I was shocked to hear that. Excuse me. "Do you think I am hung up on Silas?" I was bewildered at her statement. "You are giving all these signs." I groaned at that. "I need to be independent financially, Mom, before seeing someone. I am not complaining, trust me, but with what we are earning, we are barely managing." She hummed at that. "You are too good, and you will find someone, but you should be available emotionally too. Things don't click with anyone, Eve, if you block yourself emotionally." "I won't, don't worry. In time, let me be free from some of the baggage." She nodded at that. "Well, you can go wallow in misery in your room, and I will have a good night's sleep. Night, dear." I rolled my eyes at that. "Night, woman."
****************************
It was already the end of the week, and Silas and I hadn't met. He was busy running his company and his best friend's child. My colleagues decided to have a drinks party at a restaurant, and they dragged me before I could protest. I don't mind enjoying a night with them, but they will drink like crazy without even being aware of their surroundings. So, I will always make sure that I drink within the limit, as I need to make sure they reach their place safely.
There were 7 of them, surrounding the table and talking loudly about everything. We are regular customers, so the owner doesn't mind the voices sometimes. Food started passing around the table; I was a bit foody and greedy when I was starving. So my plate filled up, and everyone snickered as they watched. I ignored it like usual.
It was past 8, and a few were already tipsy, while others were drunk as hell. I groaned at the sight. My stomach was half full, slowly eating my food to give them company and acting like I was also drinking along with them. My cell started vibrating, and it was Silas. "Where are you?" I sighed. I am getting used to this. "Restaurant, colleagues' party. A colleague shouted as cheers rang near my ear. God. "I got to go." I cut the call with Silas, rubbing my left ear rapidly.
It was past 9, and a few were passed out. Two, along with me, were sober and chuckled as they watched me. "Well, let's get into taking care of business." Lisa smiled as she said that, and I nodded at her. She, along with James, started taking their roommates. I took care of the other two, who were dead to the world.
I dragged them out, balancing both of them at a time. A taxi was waiting, which I had booked for them. I informed the driver of the address and paid for the taxi. I sighed when the taxi was out of my sight and brushed some crumbs off my shirt and straightened up. I should not sign up for this. I groaned, and someone chuckled. "You never fail to amaze me," Silas said as he covered the distance between us. "What's that supposed to mean?" "It's a party, and you are not drunk, so you could help your friend. Did I cover today's scene?" He chuckled, and I rolled my eyes at that. "Well, someone needs to take care of people when they are passed out; besides, two others were sober along with me," I stated, not liking that he was giving all the credit to me. He nodded in return.
"Home, I guess; your mum is probably waiting for you." "No, I informed her about being late; anyway, it's already 10." He nodded. "Another drink, since you are sober." I thought about rejecting his offer for standing up to me at the party. It was too childish, but he didn't even apologise to me. Well, again, childish.
"Why not?" "Rather than going to any restaurant, how about we go on a long drive?" He suggested earnestly. "It's the weekend," he added. "And you need a break from the whole week's chaos for a few hours." He concluded, and he was not wrong, but I also need a break from him for good. He forgot that point, and I need to keep that in mind and add it to my to-do list. "Yes, that will be good." Silas smiled broadly, and we walked towards his car.
Silas purchased a few beers on the way and handed me one, but he didn't drink for an obvious reason. I faced the window, watching the view, trying to forget everything for a while. This feels so good: not running after something, no EMI or monthly bills, just me with my own company. Giving a pause to the endless struggles and mind battles. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, hesitant to move forward and too afraid to move backwards. I sighed at the chaotic life that I was leading. It was never so chaotic a few months before, and my vision for the future was clear. Clear the EMI, be financially stable and then hunt a guy, date him and settle down with him. That was the plan until someone messed with their entry.
Silas parked the car, and we got out. It was a deserted area; we were near the edge, and the clear sky was visible. Silas handed over another beer to me, and he too took one for himself. We leant on the car and watched the dark sky in silence.
"How are you?" "Good." "Your mum?" "She is fine, with her work and stuff." He hummed at that. "What about you and Freya?" "She is on a break from Liam, and she is doing well, like always." He looked angry as he finished the sentence. "Her daughter?" His face lit up as usual. "She is a fine girl, not aware of her mother's drama. Her birthday is in two months." I nodded at that. "I am going to arrange this year too." I hummed at that. "I will make sure it's remarkable like last year, and she remembers for months." His smile was too wide and bright. "I bet you will," I added.
"Are you seeing someone, Eve?" That question took me off guard. "No, not at present." Silas nodded at that. "Do you have anyone in mind?" "Just now I said I am not seeing anyone; that means I have paused everything for now. I am not going to date for another year or two, or maybe more," I stated the fact. Silas turned abruptly towards me, and his eyes went wide. "Why?" "I have some commitments." "Oh."
We went silent afterwards, and I didn't ask the same question about him. His personal life is his business. "Why are your commitments stopping you?" He is too innocent sometimes; being rich may make you naive about understanding a few things. "I don't have space in my mind to think of anything else other than commitments. If I am dating someone, I need to give my 100%, and I should be involved with him wholeheartedly; dragging him into my mess is the last thing I wanted." Silas chuckled at that. "Of course, like always, making sure everyone around you is happy." "Nothing wrong with that, but that never means I don't know where my priority lies, and that's with my partner." Our eyes met as the sentence left, and everything went silent. "I know, Eve." He softly spoke the words, closing the distance between us. "I know."
His hand went to my hair, soothing and tucking it behind my ear with a fond smile on his face. This gesture did something to me, and once again, my heart thudded at that. Our breathing was fanning on each other's faces, fussing my brain. My mind clouded, and my breath laboured as he pinned me in place with his eyes. I needed to back off from him, or else the impossible thing was...
His lips were on mine, my eyes went wide, and I was stunned on the spot in shock. "Breathe," Silas said, breaking the kiss. I did as he said. Once again, he latched onto my lips, and like a hungry animal, I had to give in, flow with the damn flow instead of breaking the kiss. "It was the same way you reacted when we first kissed." He whispered on my lips, and I was still swimming in the kiss, which I liked so much, apparently.
We were like that, not moving apart from each other. I wanted to lick my lips so badly, but I held back as his eyes were glued to my face, but I couldn't say the same about me, because I was seeing everything but him. Silas's cell started ringing, snapping us back to reality, and he answered the call. "What?" He shouted over the phone; something was up. Things were deflated and felt too normal, and only one person was capable of doing such magic. "Ok, ok, Freya, don't panic, I am on my way." He disconnected the call with a sigh. "Hazel has been suffering from a high fever since this evening, and she is crying non-stop, asking for me." He groaned at that because we were far from her place, and he wanted to run to see her. "Drop me nearby so I can grab an Uber," I told him. "No, no, I will drop you." "We are far, and the kid is crying; you should go, Silas." I am not that heartless. I may have resentment towards the girl's mother, but I could never direct it to the kid. "Yeah, you are right, get in, Eve." I nodded and was in the passenger seat.
We didn't speak the whole way, and I knew Silas's mind was completely occupied with something else. He dropped off near where there was a crowd, apologised, and drove off.
Would I ever get the upper hand on him? Would I ever be his priority? Would he keep me at the top of his list? Would he just choose me, only me, not anyone along with me? Would he ever make me feel that I matter to him the most? Would he just ditch everything just for me, at least for a day? Would he make me feel that I am something to him? Would he ever feel the same way I do about him all the bloody time? Would he just be mine for a day?
Tears started to flow, which I wiped away using the sleeves of my shirt. Oh god, if I think too much, I will always end up this way, a crying mess. I booked the cab; after instructing the driver, I sat feeling numb and too drained to think anymore.
I don't know what I feel about him anymore.
I reached my place; after paying the driver, I entered. Thank God, my mom had gone to sleep, and I silently made my way to the room. After changing my outfit, I lay on the bed before checking my cell for no reason. I chuckled when there was no text from him. History is repeating, I murmured. I had sworn I wouldn't get involved with him once again, but I was doing the opposite. I don't know how to stop myself in the past and in the present. He is consuming me by being near me and by pushing me too much. I should stop this, and the biggest question is where to put a full stop to this.
I woke up with a headache and groaned as my head was aching. I pulled the drawer, grabbed the tablet and consumed it on an empty stomach. I thought of sleeping for a few more minutes, but my mom shouted for me to have breakfast.
I walked toward the kitchen with a sour face, and my mom took notice of it. "Headache," I answered her before she even asked. "It's better be that." Was her response. Sometimes she amazes me with such a type of reading talent; she can read me like an open book. "Take tablets." I nodded at her, filling my plate.
*********************
The kiss was stuck in my head; I was still confused about why I eagerly responded instead of pulling back myself. Was I so desperate that I lost a little bit of the integrity that was in me? Now, I felt humiliated, taken advantage of, as he left me in the middle of the road, not thinking about me for even a second. Just like that.
I was never able to register in his heart; I never became his priority if I let everything slide, and I would always come second or third, and that too if I was lucky. I don't know why it was hurting so much today, especially after kissing him. A chuckle left me, irrespective of everything; my mind was still lingering on Silas, who didn't bother to call me yet.
"You have received a parcel," Archie said, with a sly smile on his face, and I knitted my eyebrows at that. "I didn't order anything.Maybe it was someone else." "It's lunch, by the way, and clearly your name is mentioned in bold letters." He continued rambling, and I was puzzled for a second. 'My mom,' no, she would inform me. Archie left the table, and I went to grab the lunch from the front desk.
As I collected the parcel, the smell hit me, the same I had with Silas when he took me to dinner for the first time. Everyone started giving me knowing smiles, making me uncomfortable. It was from Silas, no doubt about it, and I joined my friends in the cafeteria.
"Well, someone has an admirer," Mika said, giddily. "Or Eve finally thought of bidding goodbye to his lonely life," Archie added with a chuckle, and I rolled my eyes. "Well, thrust our curiosity, please," Amenda said dramatically, flipping her hair backwards. "A friend back from school." "Oh, a friend." That came in chorus from everyone, and I grunted at them. Everyone around the cafeteria turned to our table; it was embarrassing.
I opened the lunch; it was the same as what we had that day, and the chicken gravy was too much. I felt slightly touched, even if he didn't get my drinks correctly. Something is better than nothing with Silas, and I am hardly in a place to complain.
Everyone helped themselves without my invitation, and I didn't stop them. I didn't feel that hungry after seeing the food, like something else filled my stomach. My colleagues would notice, and they would force me; instead, I tried to have something.
The day was exhausting with too much work pressure; we needed to meet the deadline. With a tired groan, I left the company, and I hummed as the air hit me. The same horn snapped me out of the thought, and I crossed the road to meet him. "Stop doing that." I tried my best to glare at him harshly, or hardly, I don't know, but if my glare serves either of them, it's good. "What?" I groaned at his confusion. "Showing up at my workplace without prior notice." He chuckled at that, surrendering his hand. "I will make sure to text you next time. Shall we, my lord?" He dramatically bowed his head, gesturing with his hand to the door, and I chuckled as I got in.
The engine came to life, and Silas sighed, loosening his tie. "How was your day?" He asked, brushing his hair back. "Tired. Yours?" "I am worn out." Clearly, all the signs were visible on his tired and exhausted face. If he carries everything on that damn shoulder, that would be the result, but I didn't voice my opinion loudly. "Too much work, I guess." "Yeah, and Hazel's birthday arrangement." That had slipped my mind, and if I am not wrong, there is still time for her birthday. Besides, he can hire some event management or someone to do the arrangement. "You can hire someone," I added, slowly testing the water. He chuckled at that. "I have, actually, but I am involved in every decision, so they keep contacting me," I grunted at that. For love of God, I don't know these days why everything is getting to me so badly. It's fucking birthday, not a big deal, and he is making such a big deal out of it. Give me a break.
"So, when are you guys working on Freya's flat?" That's another thing; she is making sure that we regret taking her project. Too demanding, too definite, too picky. Things need to be perfect; I wish she could have given the same attention to her personal life. My manager and I will be out of words when her demands are absurd, but we couldn't argue for obvious reasons. Till now, we have not finalised the bloody plan, always making changes, coming up with something or other, and she is making a big deal of her daughter's room. Thank God, Silas was not this hard, even if he was a perfectionist. "Soon," I grunted. "She can be noisy and doesn't make sense most of the time." Tell me about it. "Yeah, she seems like that." "If she gives too much trouble, give me a call." Silas offered. "Being professional, my manager and I can't take on that offer, but we will keep you in the loop, definitely. She is too much to deal with."
"She is busy these days, and I am on holiday from tomorrow, so I will schedule a final meeting once we are free." Silas was looking at me with his perpetual vision. "Why are you off?" "I have to take my mother on a yearly medical checkup. After my dad's incident, I am taking her health seriously, and I can't let her go by herself." I answered him, and he nodded. "When is it?" "Tomorrow." He hummed, and he parked the car in front of my home. I bid him goodbye and got out of the car. I heard the door open and close; I turned. Silas was tailing me.
My mother came out as she heard the noise of the car, I guess. I stopped in front of her, and Silas did too. "Hello, Mrs Miles." He politely greeted my mother, and she smiled at him in return. "It's been a long time, Silas. How are you, dear?" "Good, mam." He replied with a smile on his face. "Well, how rude, Eve. Call him in.""I have dropped him off 4 to 5 times, but he never invited me, not even once." He pouted at that, and I glared at his pout. "It would be late at night, and you always look tired." "More reason to invite him, Eve." My mom supplied, and I shut at that. "Come in, Silas. He is forgetting his manners." "I am not," I grunted as I walked in along with Silas.
Silas entered the house, and his eyes started roaming over the exterior, which was simple and minimally furnished. "Common, Silas, Eve will get us drinks." I sighed and made my way to the kitchen. I thought of giving him some beverages, but it was late at night, and I had second thoughts about it.
I walked back toward Silas, who sat on the couch. "Have dinner with us. You might be hungry." That was a statement, not a question. His eyes immediately fell on my mom, and she got up from the couch, walking toward the kitchen. "Good idea. Wait for a few minutes." She said as she marched. "We can order if you haven't cooked." Silas offered immediately. My mom waved like it was nonsense. "A few minutes, don't worry; I am a pro in the kitchen, as you know." Silas and I smiled at that. "By that time, you guys should get freshened up. I am not able to watch that dried face of yours. Eve, take him to your room." I nodded at that.
As we entered, I started shuffling through my wardrobe for some nightwear. When I found one, I turned to Silas. His eyes, once again, roamed around my room. God, he is too observant, but I can't say that on every occasion. "Silas." I stretched my hand, and he grabbed the clothes. I showed him the direction of the bathroom, and he went to get freshened up. Meanwhile, I sat on the bed, waiting for him to grab fresh clothes. After 10 minutes, Silas came out, and I walked in.
We were at the small dining table, and my mom had already prepared something and was waiting for us. "Sorry for intruding," Silas said, being a little shy, and I almost snorted. My mom waved her hand at that. "Common, it's not a big deal, and you are like family." We sat in the chair, and my mom started serving the food.
We started eating in silence. All three of us were hungry or tired, maybe both, but we finished the food in no time, and we chuckled as we watched each other. "Mrs Miles, can I accompany you tomorrow?" Silas spoke, out of the blue, and I was really taken aback, not getting why he wanted to join us. "If Eve doesn't have a problem. than fine with me." He immediately jerked his head toward me, and I rolled my eyes at him. "Take a rest, Mom. I will clean the table." "Well, you should. Good night, boys." She started walking toward her room. "Be good." She shouted as he closed the door. Silas laughed at that, and I was flustered.
"Why do you want to join us?" I asked him as I cleaned the table. "Because I want to." That answer did something to me, and I went silent, not finding words to rebuke him. Silently, he joined me in cleaning the table. We washed the vessels. Dried them and placed them in their respective place.
In no time, we were in the room. It was a king-size bed, and we both could fit into it, and I didn't want to make a big deal of anything. Without uttering a word, we got the hint and lay on the bed side by side.
"This is so good, way better than before, calmer and more peaceful," Silas spoke slowly. I took my time to comprehend what he was telling, because things felt hazy because of his presence beside me. "Like usual, you are too close to your mom, now even more." He added. "Sorry, based on that, I assumed you were close to your dad too. You never invited me when your dad was present, and that's for a reason." He continued further, and I listened attentively. "I am not a genius in everything, you know, and I couldn't read the room. The circumstances nor the people's minds." I hummed at that, and my breath hitched a little. "I can't grasp the situation so many times, right through my nose so many things would be happening, but I couldn't grab it or read it." I don't like this much detail, lengthy speech from him. I know he is oblivious, and I can't help myself from pointing it out. "Sleepy?" "A little," I spoke softly. "Me too, sleep." I hummed in return.
When I opened my eyes the next day, I was on Silas's shoulder, who had wrapped firmly around my waist. God, when did I end up on his side? "Boys, you better get ready." My mom shouted near our door, and Silas chuckled. "As usual, she is a loudspeaker." I smiled and unwrapped my hand. "This was the best sleep I've had recently," Silas said, and I rolled my eyes at that. "We should get ready, or else she would barge in." He chuckled at that.
After having breakfast, the three of us were in his car, on the way to the hospital. Every year, at a time like this, I feel dread. My dad and I were not on better terms, but that doesn't mean I have overcome his death. No, I couldn't; it was so sudden, and my mom and I were lost, not knowing how to navigate our future. We were too dependent on my father, and without an anchor, we were bound to swim and reach the destination without his aid. We both did that, and I just shrugged off the struggles that we went through because my mom was beside me. My backbone, and yeah, I don't want to lose her too. I don't want to lose her under any circumstances, but the worry till her checkup was done would eat me alive.
Silas parked the car in front of the hospital, and the three of us walked out of the car. I gave the records to the concerned doctor, who ushered us to wait and took my mom. I collapsed on the chair, and Silas was beside me. "Don't worry." Silas suddenly spoke. "In the car, I felt your worry but didn't expose it because of your mom. I will be with you." I nodded at that, a little bit of relief, as someone sharing my burden at least; lending a shoulder is enough for me.
It's been four hours, and I was feeling frustrated. Silas's cell started ringing, and he walked a little farther as the patient around to attend the call. He returned after a few minutes. "I have to pick Hazel up from her friend's place. I will be back soon after handing her to her nanny, ok?" "Ok, don't worry; go take care of things." I tried to smile at him, but inside I was afraid of my mom's report. "I will be back." He ran to the exit, and I sighed in my place. No one is serving in my favour, especially my time with Silas. It always got cut short, or there was always a third wheel. This is no time for whining; he has his own life and people who matter most. I grunted the words within me.
It was after lunch hour when the doctor called me to his cabin. It had been nearly 2 hours, and Silas still hadn't returned. I entered the cabin and greeted the doctor.
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The doctor cleared his throat a few times as he read the file that was on the table. Something was off; I could feel it in my gut. He would check the patient's file before letting them in. I was panicking inside, but I didn't disturb him or hurry him; I patiently waited by crossing my fingers.
"There is something in your mom's report, Everett." My heart thudded, and my breath shuddered. I went still for a few seconds. "We need to do some more tests to determine the result." The doctor leaned a little, watching me intently. "I know what you are feeling right now, but you need to be strong for her." I nodded at his words. "Is it blood cancer? My dad died because of it." I slowly questioned him. I don't know why my fingers were still crossed. "It's not blood cancer. It might be liver." He slowly answered me, his eyes on the report. "Look at the brighter part; we have detected it early." He smiled a little just to ease me, but his words didn't have any effect on me, as the word "cancer" was still ringing. "She will be cured with the right medication, and in time, don't worry." He added, and I slumped in the chair. My world is turning upside down just from the news. If she is out of my life, then what about me?
Tears started to fall, and I wiped them harshly. The doctor was beside me in an instant, patting my shoulder. "Everett, you need to be stronger for her. Your mom is a fighter, and she will recover." I nodded, but I felt something was ripping from me already, not her, too. I prayed. "It's in the initial stage; we will fight this, ok?" I nodded. "I have taken a few samples from her, and I also need to consult an expert in this area. I will get back to you within 15 days." I closed my eyes, clenching my hand into a fist. "We got this." "Does she know?" "She can read things too easily. When we conducted a few extra tests, she had a hunch, and I couldn't hide it from her." I hummed, rubbing my neck in the process.
"Can I be alone for a few minutes?" Immediately, the doctor was out of his cabin, and I sighed. He is truly a gem of a person and too understanding.
I saw the empty chair beside me, and for the first time, I came to know how truly alone I am in this world, and the same goes with my mom. I am desperate for a soothing hand and comforting words. I could call my friends who are busy at work, but they would definitely show up. I don't want to disturb them with my troubles. Silas is not even on my list to vent to. My only pillar is my mom, and I am her only pillar. So, this is how it is and has been for the past few years.
I harshly rubbed my eyes to clear them and also my mind. I need to stay stronger for my mom; no one is there for us, and we have to be there for each other, especially at our lowest. I nodded in determination, getting up from the chair.
I walked to the room, where my mom was sitting and chatting happily with our Dr Ethan Parker. She noticed my disruptive state but didn't say anything. Slowly, she got up from the chair, and we bid goodbye to the doctor and walked out with heavy hearts.
The car ride was silent; she was exhausted, and she slept the whole way on my shoulder. As we reached home, we got freshened up and ordered food. We were on the couch, and she was watching TV. She was acting strong, but I knew inside she was losing it thinking about me. "I am strong for you, and I expect the same thing from you." "Do you even have to say that? I will be." She nodded. "Eve, you should be strong enough to face the world without depending on me." I chuckled at that; tears started to fall upon hearing her words. "You are stronger, and we are fighting this." She rolled her eyes. "Of course, we will, but nothing is in our hands. Promise me you will be stronger for me." She wiped her tears. "You would never shut down from the world." I was irritated to hear those words. "Why are you talking in such a way when there is hope?" I shouted at her but immediately regretted it. "Sorry, medicine, I guess." She spoke sheepishly, and I laughed at that. "Please, don't talk like that; we'll fight this." She sighed at that. "Life is so unpredictable." I hummed at that.
The next day, I tried my best to be my usual self, not giving out anything that was happening. My colleagues are already dealing with some or other issue, and I don't want to pour mine on them. This work is a distraction, and we all needed it. A few hours of a break from facing the reality and mourning it.
I received the lunch parcel from the same restaurant, ordered by Silas. Everyone started giving me knowing looks and was curious about the mysterious man. The lunch table was the same, with chattering, pulling each other's legs, and finishing my meal first. I went with the flow because this is what I needed. A good distraction, and my friends around me are good at hiding everything about their personal lives and acting as if everything was ok. And I liked it about them.
I sighed as I shut down the computer. "Goodbye, Eve." One by one, they started walking out of the company, and I was the last one. I walked out of the office, and it was already dark. I checked the time; it was 7 pm. I hummed as I started walking, but the car horn made me halt my steps. Not again.
I walked toward Silas's car. "You are pushing it, Silas," I grunted as I approached him. Immediately, he surrendered his hands. "Sorry, sorry, it was late; I thought you had probably left, but I inquired with the guard. It's been 10 minutes, and sorry for not texting." I sighed. "Stop sending lunch; I can buy it at the cafeteria." "You liked the food over there." "Now, I am bored thanks to you." He chuckled at that. "Shall I order from a different restaurant?" I groaned at that. "Silas, I can buy from the cafeteria." "Please don't argue about this; we both had a long day." Indeed, I was drained, and I didn't care about him. "Common, let's go." I didn't argue this time, too exhausted to continue arguing with him.
The car ride was silent; Silas was humming while tapping on the window. "Yesterday, as I dropped Hazel off to her nanny, she didn't let me go immediately. She requested to play with her for a few minutes, and she adorably pouted. I couldn't say no to her, and while playing along with her nanny, time flew." He chuckled, and I grunted in return. I was saying to myself, it doesn't matter; it's his life, and he can do whatever he wants, but these details just pushed the right button in me. Thank God, I didn't feel like crying anymore.
"I was tired, Hazel, and I fell asleep on the bed. I wasn't even aware. I told you I would come, but I couldn't. Sorry." He meekly said the last part, as if it would affect me anyway. "It's ok, I can manage myself." "Yeah, so how is your mom's health?" I didn't feel like hiding from him, solely because he doesn't give a damn. "The doctor found something in her blood, not confirmed, but it might be liver cancer in the initial stage. They are conducting a few more tests and will call me." The car suddenly stopped in the middle of the road, and I jerked backwards. What is wrong with him?
He started the car immediately and parked near the grocery store. Good, I need a beer right now. I got out of the car and walked to the store. Silas was behind me. I grabbed four cans and made the payment.
As we walked out, I offered him, which he took. "Are you ok?" "It's been two days, Silas. What do you think?" He nodded at that. "I should have been there." "The result would be the same." I tried to humour the situation. "No, for your support." "It's not the first time. My mom made me stronger over time, and I can deal with everything." He nodded. "Still, I should have been there." I didn't bother to reply this time. "She will be ok; don't worry," I hummed at that. "She is a strong woman." Indeed, she is. "She will cope with things." He added further, but it was irritating. "Yeah, she will. I am worried like hell, but I have to be stronger and fight along with her. I will for her." He nodded. "Yeah, she will be ok in no time." I gripped the cane tighter at hearing the same thing. "After your dad, she dealt with everything and navigated her life strongly. She will be ok." He was pondering for more, and I was losing it. "Everything would be ok, Eve." That's it.
"Stop saying that," I shouted at him in a rage. "She is the only one I have; if she leaves me, I will be all alone in this damn world." He triggered me at the wrong time. "Stop saying shit will be ok; no, it wouldn't. I don't have any relatives to turn to, unlike you and your large family." I seethed at the words. "Everyone left us when my parents got married, and they never accepted them, nor me, so stop saying things would be ok." I roared at him.
"Stop saying the same thing again and again." I glared at him. "If she leaves me, I will end up alone in this damn world." Once again, my voice rose, and passersby watched us as they passed. "I have no one other than my mom. Stop repeating the same sentence; she would be ok; she will be ok, shit." I seethed. "I can't manage without her, and I will be lost." I couldn't stop the tears that started to flow. Silas tried to approach me, but I stopped him.
"She will be ok; for me, she will be. She knows I will be left alone in this world; for me, she will be ok." I wiped the tears harshly. "I don't have anyone other than her; she would never leave me alone." My breath shuddered. "You don't know the feeling of being alone, so stop saying that shit will be ok." Things are bound to be busted someday. "Stop using phrases as if you have experienced it or as if you know about it." I took the hand key from the pocket and wiped my eyes. Silas's eyes were wide, and he went completely mute. He was in shock. Like I care. "I..." Silas started, but I cut him off. "My mom will be waiting; we should go. I can't leave her alone." He nodded in a daze.
The car ride was silent, and my mind was jumbled and wrecked. I don't know what got into me, but he should have shut his mouth. Saying meaningless words brings nothing. I am lost for now, but I will find my way back. I need to be stronger for my mom, stronger than ever before. I will be for her.
The car stopped. As I opened the door, Silas's hands went to the door. "You should go." Silas faced me immediately. "My mom and I need some time together, so you should." "I have come this far; let me talk to her formally, at least." I chuckled at that. "I will convey your best wishes regarding her recovery." I mocked, and he sighed. "Good night, Silas." I wanted to add more, but I said too much already.
The car didn't move immediately, and I didn't turn back. I entered and closed the door, stayed there, listening attentively. It's been five minutes; I stood in the same spot, and the car didn't move. I wanted to open the door so badly and invite him in, but I didn't budge from the place. My mom and I should go back to our old routine; only us, I am for her, and she is for me; that's it. We were happy that way and never felt an ounce of disappointment. The car engine started, and I held my breath at that, and finally, the car moved away from my home and me.
I had held on to something for so long, and it was hard to let everything go about him. After all these things that happened, I am not getting how to let go of him or the feeling that I held on to so deeply. I walked toward my room. Once again, tears in my eyes; this time for a whole different reason.
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TO BE CONTINUED.........