Fillory was broke. Again. This wasn't just "forgot-my-wallet" broke; this was "the-national-treasury-is-currently-housing-a-single-depressed-spider" broke.
For the crown jewel of an entire dimension, Fillory had a track record for financial insolvency that defied logic. Usually, a kingdom fares poorly when it runs out of gold, but Fillory's problem was worse: it had run out of magic and gold. The moment the "Plumber" turned off the cosmic tap, the natural resources, the creatures that literally sweated gemstones or shat gold decided they were over the whole "monarchy" thing. Talk about self-liberation; the magical livestock had migrated to the Far Side faster than you could say "tax reform."
This was why High King Eliot found himself standing on the docks. Normally, collecting taxes from a single outlying island like After Island would be like trying to fix a sinking ship with a thimble, but desperate times call for desperate boat rides.
As Eliot reached the port, his eyes widened. Floating in the harbor was the Muntjac. It was a magnificent, sprawling vessel that looked quite simple on the outside, "I have to say, Tick," Eliot remarked, adjusting his travel cloak. "She's impressive. A bit showy, which I appreciate, but impressive."
Tick beamed, though he kept a respectful distance from the hull. "She is more than a ship, Your Majesty. The Muntjac was grown from sentient trees in the High Forest. She possesses a character entirely of her own. She's... discerning."
"Great," Margo's voice cut through the air as she marched up the pier, looking like she was ready to wage war on the horizon. "Another sentient thing in Fillory that's probably going to have an opinion on my outfit. Just what we needed."
"Be nice, Margo," Eliot chided softly. "We need her to cooperate if we're going to find this 'First Key' Quentin's rabbit was rambling about."
Eliot's attention shifted as he saw Fen approaching, holding Freya's hand. The girl was looking at the ship with wide, curious eyes.
"And where are you two going?" Eliot asked.
"With you," Fen said, "Uh, no you're not," Eliot countered. "This is a tax-collection-slash-mystical-quest. It's dangerous, likely damp, and involves zero percentage of 'staying safe at home.'"
Fen didn't blink as she responded to Elliot, "I am not staying in that palace with that conniving Fairy Queen. If it weren't for Kai's protection spells humming around the nursery, who knows which of the a hundred times she would have snatched Freya by now. We're coming."
She walked right past Eliot, her head held high as she boarded the gangplank.
Margo let out a sharp, appreciative whistle. "Damn. Look at that. Our little Fen is growing a pair of steel ovaries. I'm going to take full credit for that influence. It's definitely me rubbing off on her."
Eliot rolled his eyes. "Clearly. I'll just be over here, being the last person in this kingdom who actually listens to the King."
———
A short while later, they ventured below deck. Thanks to an expansion spell, the inside of the Muntjac was vast, significantly larger than its exterior dimensions.
However, they quickly discovered what Tick meant by "character." As Tick was pointing out the galley, the floorboards suddenly buckled and heaved. With a sound like a wooden grunt, the ship tilted violently, sliding Tick toward an open porthole.
"The Muntjac can be uhh what was it called uhh, ass ditch- uh no I mean asshole." Tick yelled as he was unceremoniously dumped overboard into the harbor with a loud splash.
Eliot peered over the railing as Tick bobbed in the water, looking offended. Eliot sighed, glancing at the mast.
"Great. So the boat has the exact same personality as Hancock," Eliot muttered, referring to the grumpy, invincible hero of Earth cinema. 'She's an asshole with a heart of gold, though I'm seeing more 'asshole' than 'gold' at the moment.'
He patted the railing tentatively. "Nice boat. Good boat. Please don't drown us."
The ship groaned, a sound that felt suspiciously like a sarcastic retort.
Just as the Muntjac settled into a rhythmic, slightly aggressive sway, a sharp crack echoed across the deck. Penny and Kady materialized in a blur of displaced air, both looking like they'd just been through a cosmic centrifuge.
Penny straightened up, his eyes sweeping over the masts and the architecture of the vessel. "Sweet ride, though. Is this what the budget is going toward instead of, you know, food?"
"Careful what you say, Traveler," Margo warned, leaning against the mainmast with a proprietary smirk. "The boat has a personality, and apparently, she's a sensitive bitch. If you insult her paint job, she'll probably pitch you into the drink before we hit the horizon."
Eliot clapped his hands together, looking at the assembled group of magicians, queens, and one very confused ten-year-old. "Well! Now that the gang's all here. Off we go on our grand adventure to find our mysterious, door-opening materials! I hope everyone brought their sea legs, because mine are currently in a state of deep denial."
Kady looked out at the vast, shimmering expanse of the Fillorian sea, her face pale. "I hate open water. There are things in there that don't have bones. I don't trust things without bones."
"Yeah," Penny muttered, moving closer to her. "Me and you both. If this thing starts to sink, I'm grabbing you and we're blinking back to Brakebills, quest be damned."
————-
While the Muntjac began its trek toward the Outer Islands, Julia and Alicia had been moved to a lavish, oversized bed in a secluded alcove of the party. Above them, the ceiling was a swirling nebula of enchanted smoke and neon light. They lay side-by-side, the muffled thrum of the music vibrating through the mattress. Somewhere in the distance, Josh was audibly having the time of his life, his laughter echoing over the clinking of glasses.
Julia stared up at the shifting colors, her expression guarded. "Is this safe?"
Alicia didn't move her gaze from the ceiling. "What part?"
"Him," Julia said, her voice dropping. "Him wanting to find... well, you-know-who. The Old Ones. The ones who actually built the plumbing he's trying to hijack."
Alicia shifted slightly, the silk sheets rustling. "Probably not. Actually, definitely not. It's the supernatural equivalent of poking a sleeping grizzly bear with a very short stick."
"I thought as much," Julia sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "Every encounter I've had with gods hasn't exactly been 'eventful' in a good way. It's never peaceful. And demanding something the way Kai does? That usually ends with someone being turned into a tree or a puddle."
"And yet," Alicia noted, her voice calm but thoughtful, "here we are. Supporting him while he demands the keys to the kingdom from another god. We're basically the getaway drivers for a divine heist."
Julia turned her head to look at Alicia. "Doesn't it bother you? The risk? The sheer... insanity of it?"
Alicia turned onto her side, propping her head up on her hand and looking Julia directly in the eyes.
"Honestly? This whole situation of the world being without magic? It doesn't bother me the way it bothers everyone else," Alicia said. "For the first time, we aren't just guests in someone else's universe, Julia. We have our own juice. If Kai wants to burn down the old house to build a better one, I'm okay with holding the matches."
Julia shifted, to look at Alicia and mirrored her position, "How do you mean?" Julia asked softly. "How can you say that's, magic hasn't done more harm than good when it's the very thing that makes us... us?"
Alicia's gaze was distant, reflecting the neon nebulas above. "Think about the mechanics of the universe, Julia. It's an adaptive system. Nature abhors a vacuum, but it also abhors an imbalance. Every time we've used magic to solve a problem, the world has responded by escalating. We heal a wound; a plague evolves. We kill a Beast; a greater monster wakes up. Most of the horrors we've faced weren't just bad luck, they were the universe adjusting to our level of capability. It gives us problems to fit the size of our ego."
She ran a finger along the embroidery of the pillow. "Magic didn't just give us power; it gave us a target on our backs. Look at the hedges. Look at the Brakebills students who burn out. It's a drug that convinces you that you're the architect of reality, right up until the moment reality decides to collapse on your head."
Julia frowned, her voice tinged with a sharp edge. "Isn't that a bit hypocritical? Or just plain selfish? You're sitting here with a divine battery in your chest, still able to cast while the rest of the world is starving for a single spark. It's easy to say magic is a curse when you're still holding the hex."
Alicia let out a soft, dry chuckle. "Oh, I never said I wasn't selfish, Julia. But even without this core, I'd feel the same. After the Beast slaughtered my friends... after I spent all those years alone, hiding in the shadows of a world that didn't mean anything to me anymore... I spent every night wishing magic had never existed. I wished we were all just boring, mundane humans who worried about taxes and the weather instead of cosmic horrors and soul-shredding voids."
She leaned in closer, the air between them humming. "Magic is a hold on reality. It's a parasite that makes you feel like a god while it eats your humanity. It turns everything into a transaction, power for pain, essence for tragedy."
"If you feel that way," Julia whispered, her heart hammering against her new core, "then why are you here? Why are you helping Kai demand the keys to the kingdom? Why are you supporting his plan to force the tap back on?"
Alicia's eyes searched Julia's face, her expression softening into something raw and terrifyingly honest. "Don't get me wrong, Jules. I don't like the idea of magic coming back. I don't support the 'system.' What I support is Kai. I will go where he goes. I will burn down the world if he wants to see the flames, not because I care about the fire, but because I love him. Deeply. In a way that makes 'good' and 'bad' feel like very small, very distant words."
She paused, her gaze intensifying. "Just as I am sure you will, too."
Julia looked away, back toward the swirling ceiling. The weight of the admission settled over her. "Yeah," she breathed. "But... I do want it back. Not for the chaos, but because I've seen what it can be when it's not a weapon. I want the wonder back. I want the world to feel big again."
She turned back to Alicia, her voice steady. "And I'll always support him, too. Because I love him. Even when he's being a deranged architect of catastrophe."
Alicia smiled a genuine, warm expression that reached her eyes. "Good," she whispered. "I was hoping you'd say that."
Without warning, Alicia leaned in, closing the distance. She pressed her lips to Julia's in a soft, lingering kiss. Julia's eyes widened in surprise, her breath hitching, but the shock lasted only a second.
Julia closed her eyes and leaned into it, accepting the kiss, letting the chaotic roar of Bacchus's party fade into the background.
—————-
The God of Wine was no longer laughing. He looked like a man trying to explain the concept of "infinite" to a child who only knew how to count to ten.
"Pardon?" Kai asked, tilting his head, "You're telling me that the 'Landlords of Reality', the guys who built ever , the wiring, and the very foundation of this dump left no way to reach them? No SOS? No 'break glass in case of cosmic emergency'?"
Bacchus chuckled, but it was a dry, brittle sound. "You are thinking like a mortal, Malachai. You assume they function on a plane of logic that you, or even I, can predict. They don't. They are the architecture. Do you talk to the bricks in your wall? Do you leave a phone number for the dust mites? They aren't 'gone,' they are simply elsewhere. And 'elsewhere' is a place where your little magical powers are nothing but a flickering candle in a hurricane."
"Confusing. Vague. Very 'Old Testament' of you," Kai remarked, "But I'm a fast learner. If the landlords aren't taking calls, then I'll just have to go to the basement. What about the entity at the end of the world? The one in the Castle? The... Monster?"
The temperature in the room plummeted. The scent of wine turned to the smell of vinegar and cold iron.
"I think," Bacchus said, his voice dropping into a register that made the floorboards groan, "it is time for you to go."
Kai saw it then. It was subtle, a split-second widening of the pupils, a slight tremor in the hand holding the chalice. Fear. Pure, unadulterated divine terror.
"If you won't tell me," Kai said, his voice cold and sharp, "then I'll just go and check it out for myself. I've always been a fan of the underdog, and right now, that thing in the basement sounds like the only thing in this universe with a real personality."
"You don't understand what you're messing with!" Bacchus roared, standing up. The silk pillows flew back as he loomed over Kai. "That entity is nothing but a chaotic parody of magic! It is an unlikable, unreasoning void with too much power and zero restraint. It doesn't want to rule; it doesn't want to be worshipped. It just is. And if that thing in Blackspire ever gets out, it won't just be the end of magic. It will be the end of the story. Everything. Gone."
Bacchus's eyes burned a bruised, violent purple. "We are done here."
Before Kai could even draw breath to retort, Bacchus snapped a finger.
The world turned inside out. The music, the smell of wine, and the warmth of the party vanished in a heartbeat.
Kai, Alicia, Julia, and Josh found themselves standing in the middle of an empty street in Portland. The gray morning mist was a far cry from the neon glow of the warehouse.
Josh, who was now inexplicably without a shirt and clutching a half-empty bottle of what looked like shimmering blue tequila, looked around in a panic. "Oh no. No, no, no! Oh, come on, man! We were just getting to the good part! I think I was about to marry a dryad! Or a very attractive shrub! We have to go back!"
Kai ignored him, adjusting his jacket and shaking off the lingering sensation of divine displacement. He looked over at Alicia and Julia. They were still slightly flushed, their hair a mess, and they were looking at him with a mix of exhaustion and a hundred questions he wasn't sure he wanted to answer yet.
"Well," Kai said, brushing a stray bit of silk off his shoulder. "That was eventful."