Following my investigation in Chiple, I made the decision to remain silent about the things I discovered that night, because for me, as for several of our group, this was a truth too heavy, one that threatened to destroy our morale before even reaching the capital.
With a bittersweet taste in my mouth, we finally set out a couple of days after our arrival.
For our new path toward the mountains, we decided to leave the caravans behind and bought a merchant wagon, something that allowed us to have total control of our journey, and especially of our timing.
We had been traveling for several days on secondary roads, with the implacable winter cold and a dense snow covering us at every stretch. With doubts in my mind due to the comments of the citizens in my head, time passed, taking away two weeks in a blink.
Are we really doing the right thing? I asked myself again and again, as I reviewed the notes in my notebook. If I overthrow Boris... will I be able to maintain this level of security and progress? Or would the Kingdom fall into chaos because of me?
Doubt was a slow poison that advanced constantly in my head.
As night fell, we decided to camp in a clearing in the forest, protected by the trees from the freezing winds to have a moment with the group while our animals rested. Lighting a bonfire, we sat around it, sharing a hot stew that Loniet had prepared.
"If we continue at this rate, we will reach the Almond river in two months." Jacoby commented, cleaning his spoon with a cloth. "From there, the road to the capital should be clearer for simple merchants like us."
"Let's hope so." Lucio replied, rubbing his hands near the fire. "I'm already sick of the damn checkpoints we encounter every two days. They make me feel like I'm a criminal or something similar."
Between laughter and trivial complaints, the night deepened and the fire was reduced to glowing embers, with each person retiring to their respective rooms inside the wagon.
With exhaustion from my mental doubts, I went straight to my room to rest, taking advantage of the fact that it wasn't my turn for watch that night. Upon entering, I noticed how Irisha was waiting for me sitting on the bed, with her pajamas on and an expression of worry on her face, something that indicated to me that my fake face had been discovered.
"I notice you are distant, Kadian." She whispered, once I closed the door behind me. "You've gone several days without truly speaking, and that's strange… you are distant, pensive, as if something bad were happening to you."
"Eh? Really? It's surely because of the exhaustion. Yes, because of the trip." I lied, knowing that she wouldn't entirely believe me.
Irisha, seeing that I didn't want to speak about the subject, or at least not for now, did not respond with words, as she knew me better than anyone in this world. Instead, she stood up and hugged me, a simple gesture but loaded with affection that managed to break a bit of the barrier I had raised. Her hands traveled down my back, lowering the tension in my shoulders while she looked at me with those eyes that always seemed to read me.
"Remember darling, you don't have to carry everything alone, you have me… the person who loves you most in all this world… so, if you don't want to talk about what troubles you at this moment, it's okay… I understand. At least I hope this helps you calm down and feel better…." She said softly near my ear, before kissing me, slowly and deeply seeking to erase any bad thoughts in my head.
My hands, cold from the outside, instinctively sought the warmth of her skin under her clothes, and what started as marital comfort quickly transformed into a mutual necessity, one we hadn't fulfilled in weeks because of the travels.
"Irisha…." I whispered, pushing her gently against the blankets of our bed.
It was strange, but, just as Irisha said, I think maybe I needed something like this, something that would help me not to think, to stop analyzing Boris's strategies, to stop questioning myself.
Undressing her, I traced every curve of her body that I knew by heart with both hands, seeking to lose the notion of reality in her scent… and her touch.
With wildness, passion took hold of us, filling the small room of the wagon with the sound of our heavy breathing, and the stench that all this implied.
After intense hours, I felt calmer, with a cool mind and a body relaxed by the sex. Irisha, who like me was exhausted, curled up on my chest and arm with one of her horns as a support, making me clearly feel her calm breathing, and the warmth of her naked body next to mine.
Sighing, I finally closed my eyes, with a calm and happiness I hadn't felt in weeks.
...
My mind, playing with my memories and the emotions I felt, transported me to a certain place, one I wanted to forget all these decades.
This smell I recognize… I remember it… metallic and dense as always. Yes… it's from the blood, from the blood of my family and of all those who died that day….
Opening my eyes in what seemed to be a dream, I found myself again in that damn place that changed my life forever. The Throne Room.
Looking around, I noticed how everyone had their mouths open, silent because of what was happening in the center. Changing my field of vision, I saw that the white marble floor, which had always shone immaculate, was now stained red.
"This is only the beginning!" Cael Rainhard shouted from the center, torn by a crying that contrasted with what he had done. I saw him there, in front of me, with his eyes wide open, crying before raising his dagger stained with the blood of the one he swore to protect, my father the King.
Why Cael? Why did you do something like that? These were my current thoughts as I watched Cael kill himself, stabbing himself in the heart in front of everyone. Cael…Did Boris do something to you? Did he convince you in some way? Or was it just your own decision….
With the passing seconds, I saw how death enveloped the entire room, with dozens of nobles and guards dying one after another at the hands of Boris's men, something that made my heart fill with hatred again, because of how bloodthirsty the whole scene was.
In that event there were several women and children, noble civilians who had nothing to do with my brother's judgment… but even so, his men had no mercy and ended up killing everyone who was not their ally.
After dispatching my wife along with Kurt and defeating one of Boris's henchmen, I entered the Royal room again, searching for my sister desperately while my breath gasped from the exhaustion I felt. Oh shit… this part… no… shit no please….
The ceiling of the heart of the Kingdom was cracking, giving way with the passing of the seconds until finally, it finished giving way from the force with which it was pushed, breaking and unearthing a scene I wanted to forget but never could.
Covered in a cloud of dust, I saw my brother, Boris, with a cold and empty expression holding the sword that pierced Celina's body against the ground.
With a gaze that was fading, my sister's tearful eyes fixed on mine as her life ended, shouting in a deafening silence with her gaze: "You must stop him."
"¡¡AHH!!" I suddenly shouted in the empty room, after waking up with a start with my face sweating.
Sitting up in bed with my heart about to explode and my body bathed in a cold sweat. I looked around frantically, searching for any danger by instinct, but finding nothing, I finally calmed down.
With the vivid memory of those blood-stained days drilling into my mind, I rubbed my face in frustration, feeling how the cold sweat clung to my skin.
I got up heavily and walked toward the small wooden washbasin in the corner of the room. Filling my hands with freezing water from the pitcher, I splashed it on my face roughly, seeking to clean the images of my sister dying at the hands of Boris.
Looking up, I met my own reflection in the small mirror hanging on the wall, barely illuminated by the moonlight coming through the slit.
Pathetic. I thought, gritting my teeth as I watched the droplets fall down my face through the mirror.
I felt annoyed. Not because of the dream, but because of my own mental weakness, because of that stupid contradiction I had felt all these days seeing Boris's efficiency in Chiple. How could I doubt? How could I even consider that his government had merit?
I'm an idiot for questioning whether to continue… because what he did was a genocide. He killed our family, he killed children, he killed innocents and anyone who stood in his path… including my family and myself when I entered the Kingdom….
Decided to continue, as nothing was going to prevent my revenge against him, I dried my face and left the room, heading toward the rear of the wagon that connected to the outside by means of a door. I needed fresh air, in addition to letting the real cold freeze my brain.
Opening the wooden door, I was received by the freezing blow of the night after removing my mana layers. This… is refreshing….
Looking in more detail, I noticed how Baduba was meditating on the small platform we had for facing the outside.
The old monk and martial artist striker was sitting with his legs crossed, motionless as a stone statue with his eyes closed. His chest barely moved, and around him, the cold seemed to stop, ignoring the low temperatures without the need for a mana layer.
Shit, I forgot he liked to meditate here. I thought, stopping dead.
I didn't feel like talking to anyone, much less pretending I was fine in front of someone so perceptive. Just as I wanted to turn around stealthily to look for another place and not disturb him, his hoarse and serene voice cut the wind, stopping me instantly.
"How do you feel, Kadian?" He asked with his eyes closed, without moving a muscle of his body.
I tensed, confused by the sudden question, making me search for a quick answer that would get me out of there.
"Eh? Everything is going well." I replied, forcing a casual tone and directing the conversation elsewhere before wanting to leave. "There have been no difficulties on the road or anything similar, the wheels are holding up well against the sno—"
"I'm not talking about that." Baduba interrupted, turning his face in my direction with a tone that weighed more than any shout. "I'm talking about your state of mind. About the storm you carry inside after you discovered what the people think of your brother... and about what it seems you just dreamed."
How the hell...? I thought, before remembering what Lucio had told me about him, and about his powers, making me let out a dry laugh, in defense to gain time and think of my moves.
"Hahaha... wow."
I looked toward the wagon door, before silencing the environment around us with magic, and sealing the door so no one else would hear us.
Feeling a bit more secure, but still exposed, I sat next to him on the cold wood, letting my shoulders drop.
"Truthfully, I expected nothing less from the person with the greatest sensory capacity and perception I know." I admitted, glancing at him as I relaxed to speak with him with confidence. "Even though I've known you for a little over a year, you proved to be someone reliable, Baduba."
Listening to me, he finally opened one eye, looking at me with a mixture of calm and seriousness.
"Only in that?" He asked with a slight mocking smile. "Then I suppose I must continue training if I truly want to impress you."
The atmosphere relaxed a bit, and taking advantage of the magical isolation, I decided to partly open up to him, understanding that he already knew what was happening to me.
Baduba listened patiently, with his eyes now open and fixed on the night sky, nodding slightly without judging me.
"Kadian, your pain is great and justified… but, you have to understand that revenge is a very strong and dangerous fuel for your purpose…."
"What? What do you mean?" I asked, not understanding what he was referring to.
"When I met you in the Central Continent, I had a feeling when I saw you, one I had never had in all my long years…. At first I didn't understand it, but after meditating and reasoning, I began to comprehend it. You were important." He said looking at the sky.
"They told you and now you know of my ability, the one that allows me to see things I would never see with my simple mortal eyes, the one that told me to follow and help you no matter what, and the one that tells me things of the future." He said looking at the sky, before letting out a sigh.
"You see Kadian, lately I have strange dreams… ones where things only go wrong. Very wrong for everyone, for everyone in the world…. Not now, not in these years, but further ahead."
"Further ahead?" I asked without understanding, furrowing my brow.
"Yes. It is something dark. Something that even goes beyond what we as a Semi-God Rank know…." He whispered without hiding the fear in his eyes. "I don't know for sure... but, I believe that bad thing I feel will happen is related to your revenge. To what you will do when the moment comes."
Feeling a strange sensation, Baduba's words caused a shiver that had nothing to do with the weather, as certainly the warnings of someone with Divine level magic: Premonition could not be taken lightly.
"That is why Kadian, you must find a purpose besides revenge to continue with all this. Because if you are only going to kill him out of hatred, you will lose even as you win." He declared, pointing to my chest.