"Hu…, is life always like this?" She questioned herself looking at the cloudy climate.
"Apparently, not." She turned her head and her heart skipped a beat. It was the figure she was running away from— the figure that snatched all her nights, filling them up with nightmares.
Wide-eyed, she forgot to breathe. She clutched her heart and a voice suddenly rose. Within her aches, she looked in that way and a whisper echoed in her ear,
"I'll come looking for what's mine, Blake." She abruptly turned around and everything was clear. The figure disappeared.
She will never leave me… 'cause she's in me?
"Varunie, what are you doing here?" Tristian asked with concern.
"Loitering. I gotta go to my ward now." She said looking at the way she witnessed a figure even when it vanished. All she could sense was— vulnerability boosting in her body. She felt so hopeless and a burden to Tristian simultaneously.
"Wait. Varunie," He chased her after gazing at the space where once Varunie was struck. Walking after her, he noticed her eyes filled with weary. As if they were done with the day. He approached her trying to hold her hand but halted when he realized himself as a stranger to her.
"Varunie," He called and she shortly turned to him. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, being concerned when she only responded with a nod and turned around but another call halted her. "Varunie,"
She turned around again being frustrated but, "Yet I don't think I'm fine, Varunie." Her voice got stuck in her throat itself when she saw a shadow hovering over Tristian. It was covering his neck, making him a pale face. Her eyes were trembling couldn't understand what to do.
"Tristian…," She ran to him and embraced, covering his ear. "You're alright now. Calm down, Tristian." She patted on his head and looked over.
The shadow was gone. Tired, she glued her gaze in the air that smelled displeasure.
Her heartbeat was playing across his ear. A thought— he only wants to hear her now. He grabbed her closer to his body, making her gasp and moan. "Tristian?"
"Ensure my safety, Varunie Blake." He groaned in her ears, driving her insane. Her body shuddered beneath his mercy when his crazy breath slid across her neck.
"What are you…trying to do?" She stammered, trying not to meet his eyes but he grabbed her chin and made her eye contact— she couldn't escape. Her eyes trembled and wide-opened when he pulled her face closer to his lips. Reluctant, her body couldn't stop shivering.
A smirk appeared on his lips, leaving her in awe. His cold hands squeezed her waist and she didn't let another moan escape from her lips. Covering her lips, she buried her face on his shoulder. Her cheeks were ruddy and all she was in embarrassment.
"You don't know what you're doing to me." She whispered. He smiled and embraced her quietly. "I know what I can do to you." He said, giving a smooch on her head. She held his neck with her chill palm but he gently took it into his hand and laid a kiss, driving her crazy.
Is he nuts? Or is that me?
...
She walked through the cemetery, brushing off the petals of lilies in her way. Desperate, she stood still, staring at the gravestone. Her knees touched the wet ground. Never those scars that used to ache once ached every minute of her survival. Knowing there's no place for her, she lets her late lover spare a glance at her. Even though she's drowning in guilt every minute as a survival and every second as a burden— she walks through her struggles to give her respect to her late lover.
"Cahya. How have you been?"
She knows. Her every question will never be answered. Her every answer would never be reached but buried, pointing fingers on her for something she never committed.
She was silenced— By her own people. Hatred by her own family. Betrayed by her trustworthiest. She survived being stared at by the society and heard mischievous noises behind her back. Even the people she never met— knows her. Talk about her— but none of those words ever have good intentions.
"I have brought your favourite moon dumplings—"
"Do you think this is enough?"
Huh? Not again.
"Paxton?" She exclaimed. "What do you think is enough, Paxton?" And added firmly. He shortly plugged her neck up and said roughly,
"Your death. This could be enough to compensate for my sister's demise!"
"Pa-Paxton…" She struggled, trying to escape from his firm grip but that's only making him lift her up. Her eyes burned to tears, he looked at her with no mercy and shoved her on the ground.
She was gasping for breath and he abruptly grasped her chin. "You know what is worse than dying?" He groaned. She hitched but he just shoved her face sideways.
"Living a life no one wants to live." She kept staring at the ground until she heard him scoff. Then a whisper swallowed the gaps,
"And I'm already living that life, Paxton."
He only stared at her, trying to hold her feet to the ground. Trembling, she held her sight with him. Face burning in agony. She clutched his collar and said,
"Do you think I'm your play toy? You do whatever you want and whenever you can! I'm going to peel your family's reputation like you people did mine. I'm gonna splash your faces with your own blood. I'm gonna make sure what it means to be a shame in society. You all will pay for what you did to me. Paxton Zy."
She pushed him and walked away. He said nothing but kept gazing at her with a smirk— one that can whimper his prey. He flipped his hair and scoffed, breaking into a loud laughter. That haunts one. That hollows one.
...…
When sunsets behind her, she flashed with a dull face. She gazed at the waves— filled with her emptiness. Motionless, she stood at shore, water splashing to her legs.
"Varunie!" A scream and she turned ahead to just be surrounded with broad arms. Amused, she couldn't get the things in her mind. Few hands cupped her cheeks and gently pulled up, making her meet eye contact.
".....Tristian?" Her words got stuck in her throat when she saw his eyes wet. He touched his forehead against hers and whispered,
"I'm sorry I couldn't make everything alright for you. I know I made things worse for you rather than fixing them. But give me one more chance, Varunie. I'll try fixing everything."
Getting out of his embrace, she looked into his merciful eyes, holding his wide shoulders gently. A glint possessed her lips and her eyes smiled brightly.
"With you, I was always at ease, Tristian." She whipped her soft words, cupping his face with her cold palms.
He gently laid his hand on hers and tilted his face across her palm. "I didn't come here to end things, Tristian. I came to feel the warm rays of sunset on me. Isn't it beautiful?"
She moved aside and let his eyes feel the warm sunset. "Are you really okay?" He whispered across her ears, holding her in his wide arms and a cute moan escaped through her lips, putting her in embarrassment.
"I-I'm OK–"
He abruptly squeezed her waist and put her on his wide shoulders. "TRISTIAN!" She roared her lungs out but he only broke out into a chuckle, leaving her wholly amused.
"Pull yourself together, Varunie." He smiled and she gazed at his lips, eventually her lips turned into a smile.
Mom, I guess I found my man. He is what I longed for.