It had been a week since the tragedy unfolded at the Shirayuki restaurant. The carnage left in the wake of Shiina's massacre left everyone who was there scarred forever in their minds. The event was labeled a terrorist attack by the public once the news broke out; no one would say what happened to avoid chaos within the community.
There was no clear answer as to what Shiina was after, and why she was there; the media didn't know how to tell the public without creating a panic that would make every parent fearful for their children's lives.
The only person who knew the answer was Kousuke, since he was the target of Shiina's destruction. The Shirayukis helped keep him safe by working with their lawyers so he wouldn't be forced to answer questions he didn't want to. He wasn't in any condition to answer at all anyway, with how traumatized he was.
Back at their house, Mana had to plan Akane's service; her Army benefits were a big help with funeral costs, thanks to the SGLI program for life insurance, but that wasn't the big issue at hand. The issue that was the worst was Kousuke's mental state since then. He didn't speak, barely ate, or leave his room; he stayed isolated away from anyone who tried to talk to him. He went back to his hikikomori ways, which he was breaking free from, without Akane. He didn't care anymore in the moment; he just wanted to be alone. He wanted to be left to sulk in his sadness in his room, stewing in his pain and broken soul.
Anytime Mana tried to pick him up to get him out of the room to eat better or go outside, he would freak out and fight her off. At one point, he elbowed her in the face because he refused to let her take him out.
He didn't want to leave unless it was Akane taking him out. Mana abandoned the idea to get him out, she had so much going on, she too had to worry about her mental health as she was breaking bit by bit.
Itsuki tried to visit Kousuke on several occasions. She didn't want to leave her friend alone in the state he was in, but he refused to see her as well. She would be sad because she thought they had broken through in their friendship, but she didn't want to push him into a position that would make him snap at her, either. He needed space; trying to force him back to recover would make it worse for him. Even she understood that she wasn't so young as not to know that forcing a traumatized person to do something that they didn't want to do at the moment would make them go closer to the edge of a complete mental breakdown.
The service was ready, and all the preparations were finally done after the rush job she had to do. Mana was ready for everyone to come over to the house to honor Akane after using all the benefits to cover the funeral costs and services. The biggest expense was repairing her body so she would be presentable for the viewing.
Akane's immediate friends from her unit volunteered to be part of the funeral detail; they wanted to send off their friend properly and pay their respects to their Captain. Mana sent the invitation to Itsuki and her family, which they gratefully accepted without hesitation, in recognition of what Akane did to stop Shiina. Itsuki had to go; she wouldn't sleep well at night if she missed the service or was not there for Kousuke. The only struggle left now was to get Kousuke to leave his room, put on his suit, and attend the service.
Mana knocked on the door, holding the suit she had gotten for Kousuke in a garment bag. She knocked several times, but he wouldn't answer her calls. She told him she would leave the suit on the door handle for him to wear. She said it would be an honor to Akane if he didn't say goodbye to her. Kousuke looked at the door from within his room, his eyes with large bags under them from the lack of sleep he had had to himself.
'Dishonor? What does it matter? She's gone. What else could be done to her? The biggest dishonor is that she's dead and not here with us.'
His little legs stumbled to get to the door; his health was bad, malnourished, weak, looking like the skinny weakling he used to be. His shaken hand reached for the knob, and the weak fingers twisted the doorknob to open the door to grab the suit quickly before anyone could see him. He threw it on the bed, not giving a damn if he would wear it or not; it just didn't seem important to him at all. Kousuke sat down brooding again in his dark room, looking at the family photo of him, Mana, and Akane together. It was when he first enrolled in school, and how proud they were of him. He sobbed, looking at it, as little droplets landed on the photo frame.
'It's not fair. I never got to beat you at the game as I promised. I didn't get to thank you for everything either. You were so good to me. I wanted to make you proud. Why? Why did you have to die so miserably? I wasn't worth it, why?'
He held the photo tightly in his arms. He remembered all the times they shared and how happy she was to be near him. Kousuke's memories made him remember an important attribute of Akane: she was brave; she wouldn't be a pathetic coward like he was acting. She would stand tall as she did against Shiina.
'I'm sorry. Just tell me it's a dream. Tell me I'll wake up tomorrow and you'll be there with that goofy laugh of yours. Tell me you'll be back here with us. Don't leave me. Come back, just please come back.'
His tears hit the photo more. He put the photo down after his whimpering was done, using all his willpower, he got himself up from his bed to get ready for the service. Kousuke made himself walk to the shower to finally get the musky smell off him from not bathing for the last few days. His body was on autopilot, going through the motions of grooming himself, scrubbing every part of his body, trimming his long nails and ratty hair; he looked normal again once it was done. After the long-awaited shower, he put the suit on carefully so as not to ruin it, after which he looked at himself in the mirror. His anger flared up at how pathetic he looked and how weak he was, unable to save Akane. He swung his little fist at the mirror and punched it, cracking the glass and cutting his knuckles in the process. His body healed automatically due to his Prime Caliber biology; there was nothing to be done at the moment.
'Oh, that's right. I can heal fast now. I have what she didn't have. Thank you, body, for making me remember what an unfair advantage I have. She deserved more.' The inner voice in his head proclaimed in a unfeeling, bland tone, no soul in it.
After finally getting out of his room, the funeral service for Akane began in the main room. All her squadmates were there to pay respects and hold the farewell ceremony, including the Shirayukis.
Itsuki saw Kousuke, and she ran up to hug him, but he didn't hug back; he thought. Itsuki didn't mind, she was just happy to see him again, her Mother had separated them so they could sit in their areas for the service to begin.
Everyone in the room kneeled as the priest began his chant to send Akane's soul off to heaven. The casket was open, and her body preparation for the funeral paid off as she looked like her old self for everyone to see one last time. The effort it took to heal a dead body was troublesome but worth the respect it deserved. Kousuke was still expressionless, his eyes dead inside as he looked at the coffin and the death photo, ignoring the chanting from the priest. Mana was holding it in as best as she could; she didn't want to look like a broken mess at this time. The funeral detail gave Akane a send-off after the priest finished, creating magic symbols in the air to pay homage to their fallen sister-in-arms. Akane's Major was there, the Major, Shion Komon, respected Akane greatly, practically good friends at that, her heavy brow wracked with sympathy, hiding the pain as she handed Mana a folded flag. Mana tried to stay strong when receiving the flag, with her mental pain nearing its breaking point. She couldn't let Akane down in front of her superior officer and friends in attendance. The Shirayukis paid their respects to Akane for saving them, placing flowers made of ice that wouldn't melt next to her. They then embraced a grieving Mana, who was fighting the breaking point from holding in all her sadness. The Shirayukis felt horrible that they couldn't do anything to save Akane's life. Mana told them they didn't need to be forgiven; it wasn't their fault, as nothing could have stopped that massacre from happening. Itsuki hugged Mana tight. Mana was happy to be here and to be a friend to her son.
"Mana-San, where's Kousuke at? I don't seem to see him in here anymore?"
He wasn't in the room, as Itsuki said. After the service finished, he was gone without anyone noticing, save for Mana.
"He left little Itsuki. I think he wanted to be alone again. He hasn't been able to process this yet." Mana said, telling Itsuki he went back to his room once the service ended, he couldn't stand the crowd anymore and needed his space again.
"Can I see him, please? I miss him." Itsuki begged.
Mana permitted Itsuki to see Kousuke after she asked if she could talk to him, warning her that he might not be in the best mood to listen to anyone.
Itsuki wanted to cheer him up in some way; she wouldn't take no for an answer if he tried to shoo her off. This was like before at school, when she wouldn't back down when he got under her skin or when she had to deal with his attitude. She wanted to let him know he had someone by his side, whether he wanted it or not. Itsuki's parents gave her permission as well, telling her to be careful not to set him off accidentally since he was still grieving in his own way. She understood and went to Kousuke's room. She found his door closed, with a "don't disturb" sign on the knob. She knocked anyway, making sure first, before anything, that he wasn't going to attack in any way. She knocked once more, but no answer was given. Itsuki gathered up her courage to open the door slowly so as not to startle him if he heard it. The room was dark save for the moonlight that pierced through the window shades. She saw Kousuke sitting at the edge of his bed as he had been doing, holding Akane's combat jacket and dog tags tightly. Major Komon gave them to Kousuke earlier; she said he deserved them to remember Akane and her bravery, since there were no other personal effects of sentimental value at the moment that could match what those items could.
"Hayashi, can I come in?" He didn't respond. Itsuki walked into the room carefully, with no sign of resistance from Kousuke. She was able to sit next to him without a negative response. Itsuki couldn't find the words to start the conversation; he looked so broken that she was afraid he would hit her or yell if she said the wrong thing. Kousuke spoke first, albeit weakly, with remorse in his voice.
"It's so stupid." He said, speaking up finally.
"What is?" Itsuki asked in turn.
"All the power in the world. All the power, and yet it couldn't save one life. What good is being some special person if I couldn't save the one life that mattered most?"
Itsuki could see the pain in his eyes. He was blaming himself for Akane's death.
"You couldn't stop it from happening. That woman was powerful. What could you have done?"
"I could have done something!" he shouted, holding back hard, trying not to lose it, gripping the jacket tight. "I could have done anything. I'm supposed to be a Prime Caliber, and yet I couldn't stop some psycho with a child mentality. I thought being born gifted like this meant it would be easy to save someone, like in the anime I used to watch. I'm so stupid, that's not reality. There are no last-minute power-ups, no power-of-friendship crap to strengthen me. I took it all for granted, and I let my Mom die so miserably." His eyes watered again. He wanted to change what happened. Save Akane's life. Do something to fix what he screwed up.
"You couldn't have done anything even if you wanted to. You're still young and have a low level. Even if you used your powers, you would have killed yourself in the process of fighting her. You can't rush these things. It took me a while to freeze small things with my ice magic without worry. Don't beat yourself up because you'll never live with it in the long run."
"You trained the moment the powers came. I didn't, I only recently started. I brushed it off, relying on natural power alone. It's still my fault for being so lazy and ignorant of how this world is." The self-loathing in him continued. He still didn't have the skills or stats he wanted to make himself stronger till her reached that OP cliche for his liking. He barely managed to make fire with his hands after putting off practice till now. What could have happened if he had lost control in that emotional state he was in? He would have burned everyone in the restaurant if he hadn't kept his cool.
Kousuke looked at Itsuki. He had something important to tell her, something he was afraid that would hurt her feelings. He had to say it, though, or make things worse by keeping silent.
"I'm leaving soon." He revealed to her.
"What do you mean?" A shocked Itsuki asked.
"That lady was after me. Akane died because of me. That's what I told Major Komon. I begged her for help in getting stronger. I don't want to be that scared or weak again. They're going to let me attend the military school for kids till I turn 15, then I can come back if I want to. The Major had put in a word for me so I could enroll and receive training to control my power. She was able to do it quickly, thankfully, so I can start early. She said if I decide to in the future, she'll write a letter of recommendation for me to enter officer school in the future if I do well."
Itsuki was going to cry from hearing that. She didn't want Kousuke to leave. Not with all the guilt he was carrying inside. It felt like he was running away from his pain by distracting himself with training instead of seeking help and counseling.
"You can't leave. You can stay here. My family can look after you. I…..I can look after you. Please, don't go," She pleaded to make him stay.
Kousuke turned to look at Itsuki, her innocent eyes filled with worry for him. Itsuki was his first real friend. She was kind to him, didn't put up with his attitude, argued with him at times, but never in a bad way, and even cared for him so much that Itsuki was willing to endanger herself to house him so they wouldn't be apart. He didn't have friends before and didn't even bother to make them since he thought they would be a hindrance to his studies.
She was important to him; in his heart, she was. The feeling was buried deep down because he was so bad at accepting it. VR games he used to play in his old life that let him make online acquaintances could never replace reality when it counted, or the real people who would stand by his side. Kousuke didn't want to lose Itsuki, too; that would have been too much for his mental stability.
The worry he had about being older than her inside wasn't so much a worry anymore right now. He wasn't taking advantage of her for favors or overthinking that very strong karma would get him. It didn't matter anymore what happened to him in the past, the bad experiences, bad memories; it was the moments now that counted.
It made the death hurt more because of his stubbornness to get over himself and realize how important the people in his new life were to him. Kousuke wrapped an arm around Itsuki. Itsuki was surprised; she even blushed a bit. Itsuki couldn't help as she leaned into Kousuke's shoulder, even wrapping her arms around him in a warm embrace.
Kousuke let her do that; he felt so stupid about how he acted before, and he wanted to apologize and get all the pain and regret out of his system.
"I'm sorry, Shirayuki-Hime, I'm sorry for everything." He let out to her, pouring all the feelings he had suppressed over the last few days.
"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" She asked, confused, about the apology.
"I was a horrible person to you at first and to everyone. I was so arrogant that I let the idea of being a Prime Caliber go to my head. I didn't consider anyone's feelings but my own. I had to lose a woman who raised, loved, and died for me, and never once thanked her properly for all she gave me. I'd give up all this power, even burn the world if it meant having her back, to hug her again and ask for forgiveness for being a little brat to her."
Itsuki held tighter. She could feel how much pain and hate were going through Kousuke's body.
"I have to go. If I can't protect myself, how can I protect anyone? I need to be ready if that woman returns. I can't lose Mana, too. Or you, for that matter."
Itsuki didn't argue on the subject; this was important to Kousuke. He needed this to help him feel better. It wasn't a rushed decision; it was one he made so he could be ready to save the lives that mattered most to him in the future. She let go of Kousuke for a second so she could remove the hair ribbon she wore and give it to Kousuke. Kousuke was caught off guard. It was her favorite ribbon; she once froze his feet when he tried to remove it from her in a joke. Itsuki hugged him again, not wanting the moment to end. "Take it so that you won't forget me, it's my favorite one. My Grandmother made it for me before she passed. Keep it so you won't forget me."
Kousuke looked at the ribbon, its pure whiteness and elegant blue stitching. He held Akane's jacket affectionately as he continued to hold Itsuki. Itsuki had closed her eyes while Kousuke looked out the window. Itsuki couldn't see it, but Kousuke's eyes no longer held sadness. They glared intensely, filled with immense hate, like the eyes of Death itself about to reap a soul. He saw the images of Akane being stabbed over and over again in his mind, the sight of her bloody and battered. And the images of the Shiina made his anger even more intense. His teeth gritted as his eyes looked up at the moon with conviction.
'I swear, I'm gonna find that b***h that took my mom away from me. I'll make her suffer more than what she put Akane through. I'll get revenge for Akane. And when I see that woman again and that man. I'LL BEAT THE S**T OUT OF THEM!!!'