I was lying on the beach, stretched out on one of those unnaturally long chairs designed for people who plan to do absolutely nothing while pretending it's "rest." I was under a nice parasol, wearing shades and a summer dress, sipping whatever Jane shoved into my hand.
'Ugh'
It had been three days since we arrived, and I was definitely getting used to the southern vibe.
I'm kind of falling into this routine.
Hearty breakfast...
Beach lounging...
Fruit punches...
Twilight strolls...
Evening barbeque…
Firefly watching…
Fireworks at midnight…
And, yes, all those modern things? Fireworks, lanterns, little sparkler sticks? All made using my [Item Creation] skill. This world didn't have any of it.
'Ugh'
"My Lady, someone has been knocking at the manor. Who do you think it is? The marquis or the crown prince?"
Anna called from the shoreline, splashing around in her modest swimwear like this was some slice-of-life beach episode.
"Of course it's neither!"
I shot back. "I made sure no one would bother me"
I ordered Peter to leave me alone during vacation. And the Marquis? He'll never know where I am. Josephine barely shows herself outside official events anyway.
My [Conceal] works on information too—anyone trying to look for me just finds nothing.
Convenient.
'Ugh'
What even is this green drink anyways? I was just sipping it because Jane gave it to me.
"What did you even give me, Jane?"
Jane appeared beside me, fanning me with her usual blank expression.
"Vegetable juice, my Lady."
I stared at the green sludge in horror.
"WHAT?!?"
"My Lady, you've done nothing these days but eat unhealthy food."
I squinted. "You know I don't have the same constitution as normal people, right?"
"Even so, I am still concerned."
"Just because you care about me doesn't mean you're right!"
"My Lady, it seems they are still knocking."
I groaned and tapped Trynda, who was sprawled across my head like a lazy tropical bird.
"Trynda, go see who it is."
They flapped their wings dramatically, like some retired grandpa pretending they're still dignified, then floated off toward the manor.
Honestly, What a useless familiar.
Why do I bother expecting anything?
[You should use clairvoyance—] They muttered
I then stopped myself from drinking.
"No. I don't want to. Clairvoyance drains too much concentration."
[OK! OK! Don't threaten to throw me into the faith shop!]
[Xipe smiles at the bird's sacrifice.]
Trynda flapped in a panic and zoomed toward the entrance.
A moment later:
[Um… it looks like a royal envoy.]
I sat up a little. "How can you even tell—"
[How rude! In the past, people—]
Trynda cut themselves off at the exact moment the sound of armored boots reached us.
"Open the gates! We bear a message from His Majesty!"
I took a long sip of my drink.
"…Great. Fantastic. Exactly what I needed."
Vacation, my ass.
---
I was now sitting stiffly in the villa's living room, directly across from the royal guards who had barged in like they owned the place. They were sitting ramrod-straight on the ornate couches, their armor polished so aggressively I could see my own tired reflection in it.
Jane stood beside me like the world's most loyal pillar. Trynda lounged uselessly on the back of the couch, pretending to groom their feathers instead of helping.
The lead envoy cleared his throat with the kind of theatrical dignity that I only used to see there.
He wore a long golden-white coat with crisp blue trimming—the official motif of the Carlisle Empire. His helmet wasn't one of those ridiculous tall fuzzy things from England, but it still had that same vibe of people who took their job way too seriously
He held out a scroll adorned with gold threading and a red imperial seal. It looked expensive enough to slap someone with and still be considered respectful.
"Ahem. Lady Josephine von Konrow," he began.
Ah, here we go.
He unrolled the scroll with a dramatic flick, like he expected applause.
"As decreed by His Imperial Majesty, Henry Edencrown, Sovereign of the Carlisle Empire—"
Annnd I was already tuning out.
I mean, yes, yes, emperor, decree, sovereignty, blah blah. I'd heard enough imperial crap these past few weeks to last me several lifetimes.
I took a slow breath, stared at the envoy's flapping lips, and felt my soul leave my body. Jane nudged me discreetly when I nearly nodded off.
I forced my eyes open.
The envoy droned on, "—in recognition of the responsibilities entrusted upon the noble houses of duke-rank authorities—"
Gods. Kill me.
[Xipe rolls THEIR eyes in amusement]
"—the Tezca Duchy is currently engaged in military operations at the southern front—"
Yep, okay, but what about me? Why am I in this?
"—and therefore cannot perform their duties as host for the incoming foreign delegation—"
Uh-huh.
"—the delegation hailing from the Kingdom of Eldoria—"
Eldoria? The country with the obnoxiously overpowered mages and that stupid tradition of magic? Fantastic.
"—who will be arriving tomorrow—"
Wait.
Tomorrow?
My eye twitched, but he didn't notice.
"—and though their official meeting with His Imperial Majesty will be held in a week's time—"
He kept going, and my headache worsened.
I glanced at Jane. She gave me a sympathetic smile.
I glanced at Trynda.
[He has been reading for exactly nine minutes and forty-two seconds.]Traitor.
The envoy continued, "—as per imperial protocol, a ducal main family must receive the foreign delegation upon their arrival—"
Something in my soul screamed.
"—and in the absence of House Tezca's main line—"
Oh no.
"—the responsibility defaults to any present ducal main family currently residing within the southern territory—"
Fuck.
"—which has been confirmed to be you, Lady Josephine von Konrow."
Double fuck.
He finally rolled the scroll closed with a little flourish, oblivious to the existential destruction he had just unleashed upon my vacation.
He bowed slightly.
"Therefore, by direct imperial command, you are to formally receive the foreign envoys upon their arrival tomorrow morning."
A direct.Imperial.Command.
Of course.
Because why would the emperor ever leave me alone? He gave me that tiny, smug little smile during the banquet—that expression only people in power have when they find a new toy to poke.
I forced myself to smile politely at the envoy, but inside?
I was burning.
I was shrieking.
I was flipping a table, throwing books, and stomping the sand outside like a tantrum-prone toddler.
Not only did I flee to the south to avoid drama, I had also specifically chosen a villa tucked away from everything—meaning absolutely NO ONE should have been able to find me.
Yet here we are.
I could see the chessboard now. The emperor was curious about me. Percy was suspicious. Adele was off-balance. The marquis was amused. Peter was… Peter.
And now another foreign piece was walking onto the stage.
A foreign king's representatives? In the South? Under my watch?
Great. Just great.
The envoy looked at me expectantly.
Jane leaned closer and whispered, "My Lady… they're waiting."
I inhaled. Exhaled. Closed my eyes for a brief moment of prayer.
Then slowly, like I was about to accept an execution order, I stood up.
And I knelt.
Because you do NOT refuse a direct imperial command unless you want to be strung upside down on the palace gates.
"…I, Josephine von Konrow, accept the responsibility bestowed by His Imperial Majesty," I said, voice steady even though internally I was screaming profanity in eighteen dialects.
Trynda snorted on the couch.
[You should've never come here.]
Shut up.
Jane bowed deeply beside me, ever the supportive maid.
The envoy beamed, clearly satisfied.
"Splendid," he said. "May your hosting reflect the honor of your noble lineage."
Honor my ass. I just wanted a quiet vacation and some cornbread.
"We will inform the delegation of your readiness," he added, saluting as if he were in a play.
He and the other guards stood, turned sharply on their heels, and marched out of the manor like wind-up toys.
The door closed.
Silence.
I stayed kneeling for a second longer, my brain trying to reboot.
Then—
"FUCK."
Jane flinched.
Trynda cackled.
I slammed my forehead onto the couch cushion.
"I just… I just wanted a vacation," I groaned into the fabric. "Three days. THREE DAYS of peace. And now this? A foreign delegation? Tomorrow?"
Jane patted my back gently. "My Lady… shall we prepare?"
"No," I muttered with dead seriousness. "But we have to anyway."
I sat up, rubbing my temples.
The emperor.Now foreign royalty.I'm accidentally climbing the political ladder like a damn speedrunner.
At this rate, I'll be entangled in the main storyline whether I like it or not.
I sighed deeply.
"…Gods, just kill me."
Trynda perched on my shoulder.
[We can't die together. I'm bound to your soul.]
"Even more reason," I snapped.
Jane nodded sympathetically.
And just like that, my vacation officially died.