Crackling.
Murmurs.
The sounds surrounding him are received as whispers.
King Bora. Lord Rawlin. Quilo. Aureole. Cilas. Warriors. Guards.
Their voices play like broken records. As if being muffled by pillows.
Sirius.
He watches. He observes all of their movements. Their expressions. Their eyes.
-What are they thinking? What do they want? Who are these people?
If he were to open his ears, he would know well what they are discussing. About their plans for the future. About what to do about the hoarbanes and their Mother.
But his mind is sealed. Static barriers the speech around him. No one here can be trusted. No one here is genuine.
.....
.......
"S#*i%&."
............
"Si*i%s."
................
"Sirius!"
"-Huh?"
"What are your thoughts on the matter?"
"...Uh, sorry, what are we talking about?"
The King sighs. He looks sickly.
"Never mind. But please pay attention from here on. These are dire topics."
Sirius nods.
Aureole gazes at him from the corner of her eye.
"Hey, Sirius, do you mind helping me out over here?"
"Hm? Oh, sure..."
A snowsqualler warrior takes Sirius to help him clear some rubble. Sirius doesn't recognize the man, but follows his request regardless.
Sirius follows the warrior into a wrecked home and lifts one side of a fallen support beam. The two carry the beam across the street and dump it into a large pile of debris that the townsfolk have made.
"Ah, thank you! It was a little too much to clear out on my own. I appreciate it!" The warrior waves and heads back to the ruined home to clear more wreckage.
"Yeah..."
The boy is lost. His mind is fragmented and scattered.
He aimlessly wanders the torn paths, passing squaller after squaller.
He passes homes. Or at least what is left of them. The faces of those cleaning the remains are somber and hurt.
-What transpired here was a tragedy. No one was left unharmed.
Except me.
A surge of guilt trickles through his throat. His lack of sympathy stabs him repeatedly.
He continues down the trail and stumbles upon a mournful sight. A funeral.
Behind a ruined home stands a family of three. Tears wet their cheeks, and their lips tremble with overwhelming sadness.
They stand before a grave. It's a small but deep hole with a rock acting as a headstone. Writing is carved onto the stone. The language is written in Selene, so translation is possible.
"May your warmth spread."
Without a body to bury, all that sits in the grave is a pile of snow.
...
Sirius feels nothing.
His eyes empty and cold, he continues.
His wandering circles him back to the main settlement.
He holds a hand out in front of him, staring at his palm.
Apart from the air's chill sting... It's numb.
-Why can't I feel anything?
Between his fingers, he spots a familiar figure. He stuffs his hands in the jacket's pockets and watches the girl from afar.
She's talking to someone. Aureole is talking to someone.
Snow bounces light off its surface and reflects onto her skin. She's glowing. She's absolutely stunning... Beautiful.
He's always thought that.
Since the moment they met, Sirius has been entranced by her appearance. He has never been one to care about others' looks, but she is an exception... Everything about it is perfect. It's as if the universe crafted her image just for him.
-...Is that just another trick?
A forced smile lies on her lips as she converses. It'd be impossible to tell if you were speaking with her, but that happy expression is a farce. Sirius can tell.
It takes a moment for him to realize, but the person she's speaking with is Carpi. The guy who begged Sirius to cut off his arm. His lack of an arm proves it's him.
What they're talking about doesn't concern him... He's just focused on her.
He watches Aureole. His gaze fixed on her as if in a trance. Every tiny movement she makes, he notices.
A minute passes. And then two.
His eyes don't leave her even for a moment.
And then...
She hugs him. Aureole wraps her arms around the man.
...
Shock takes hold of him, but quickly lets go.
-That's right... When she found me for the second time, as I was crying like an infant, she hugged me. It was so warm. At that moment, I was so deprived of working thought, it felt real. Genuine. Like an authentic, caring hold I never wanted to end.
I want to feel that again. That embrace meant everything to me. She pried open my heart and tore out my negative thoughts. She saved me.
But... when I really think about it...
She hugs everyone.
Was that embrace just a tactic used to make me feel secure? To persuade me to come to the mansion? To take advantage of me while I was vulnerable?
Was it not special? Did it mean nothing to her?
Korlin, Pholy, that guard, Torque, Carpi...
She hugs everyone she meets. I passed it off as mere jealousy before, but... Did that moment between us really mean nothing?
...
It wasn't special at all. I'm not special at all.
What was I thinking? Giving myself false hope like that... Don't I ever learn?
It's all meaningless.
I really am just a pawn.
...
He despises his train of thought. It goes against everything he wants.
It plagues him... These thoughts...
He feels an overwhelming emptiness. It carves him from the inside out.
Aureole takes her arms off Carpi and gently waves goodbye.
Carpi gives her a subtle bow before heading off somewhere else.
Sirius manages to take his eyes off the girl. He looks to the sky in hopes it will tell him he's wrong. For it to tell him he's just making a fool of himself for thinking this way. For a solution...
But the snow gives none.
⧗⧖⧗⧖⧗
Aureole sits at Pholy's bedside.
She holds the sleeping girl's hand and squeezes it tightly. Aureole was by her side the entire night.
She scans the room. Injured and ill litter the floors and beds of the building. The medical huts were too damaged to use, so they had to make do with spare sheds and homes. The area is cramped and cold, not well-suited for this situation.
As she glances over the hurt squallers, guilt creeps up through her stomach.
"Sorry, Pholy, if I wasn't so useless... Maybe I could have helped these people." Aureole brushes the bangs away from Pholy's eyelids. "Maybe I could've helped you."
"Mmph-" Pholy stirs.
"Pholy!"
Aureole's worries are blown away by the sight of her waking friend. She gently shakes the grumbling girl.
Pholy's eyes unfold and take in the world's light. She squints and rubs her strained eyelids.
"Aure...? That you?"
"Mm, it's me. How are you feeling?"
"Like a doormat." Pholy sets her arm down and smiles at the lunim girl. "Did you take care of me?"
"Yeah, just like I said I would."
"Thank you..." Pholy struggles to sit up, so Aureole assists her. "Just to make sure, I did do something, right?"
"Yeah, you were amazing... You saved a lot of people."
"That's good... Though I feel like a pile of mush right now. I must have lost a lot of blood."
"Yeah... You scared me. I thought you were going to die... If Sirius hadn't suggested throwing a hoarbane at you, you probably would have."
"...He what?"
"Ah... nothing..."
Pholy doesn't appear very pleased by the thought of a hoarbane being thrown at her.
"Anyway, how's everyone else doing? Did they find Korlin yet?"
"...Well, yes."
"That doesn't sound very reassuring."
"Well... He's kind of... in jail."
"..."
"...You don't look very surprised-"
"I'm not."
"O-oh?"
"What for?"
"I don't know all the details myself. But it sounds like he might have led that thing here."
"...That idiot..." she sighs. "Has Rawlin shown his head yet?"
"Yes, he and Cilas arrived yesterday while you were out. I believe they're speaking with the King now."
"Always with the bizarre timing..."
"..."
"And Sirius?"
"..."
"That guy... Always causing you trouble."
"It's not that- He had a fight with Korlin, and now I think something is troubling him... But I don't think he wants to talk to me about it."
Pholy groans and throws her feet over the bedframe. "Where is he?"
"Careful! You probably shouldn't make sudden movements."
"I'm fine... Where are they keeping Korlin?"
"Um, some kind of cellar somewhere. I'm not sure where at... Hey, wait-!"
Pholy hops off the bed and lands on her feet. Aureole helps catch her balance.
"Thank you-"
"Oh! She's awake!" A snowsqualler child yells.
"Ah, she is!"
All of the squallers in the building turn their attention to the girl.
"Uh... Aure, what's going on?"
"Everyone is grateful to you," she nudges. "If not for you, these people wouldn't be here."
"Oh..."
A young girl limps over to Pholy. She holds a tiara sculpted out of ice.
"Here!" The small child offers the headpiece to Pholy.
"...For me?"
The child nods and gives an adorable smile.
Pholy hesitantly takes the tiara and places it on her head.
"Thank you... I love it."
The little girl giggles and runs back toward her mother.
"Someone's popular," Aureole giggles.
"Yeah... This is so awkward..."
"Do you need help finding Korlin?"
"I'll manage. Thanks again for looking after me."
"Of course."
Pholy waves to her friend and walks through the swamp of sickness. Injured and ill squallers thank the Ember, seemingly forgetting the history between the two races. Pholy awkwardly waves and brushes off their comments. She's not suited to be a celebrity.
Pholy wanders around the outpost, seeing what is left after her slumber. Since arrival, the atmosphere of the outpost has been somber. But that feeling has been amplified tenfold. It, along with just waking up, gives her a headache.
Snowsquallers continue to thank her as she passes by. She's still too lightheaded for this amount of attention.
-Maybe I should have listened to Aure.
Pholy, in hopes of a change of clothes, makes her way to Kynn's home. Or rather, what remains of it.
"Seriously...?"
Thankfully, the shed is still constructed, so Pholy goes inside and changes. From what she can tell, Aureole, or someone else, must have cleaned her up.
Korlin's bags are in the same state as when she last saw them. He hasn't been here.
Pholy finishes up and enters back into the world. She heads toward the king's quarters.
Out ofthe front door walks a man dressed like a butler. A gorgeous mustache sits below his nose.
"Cilas!"
"Ah, Pholy, I'm glad to see you're doing well."
"I've missed your cooking!" Pholy slumps over in front of him.
"I'm honored," he bows. "I hear you activated Bloodflame once more..."
"Yeah, we were out of options."
"I thought you swore to never use it again?"
"Yeah, well... I have people I need to protect now." She speaks earnestly.
Cilas smiles. The kind of smile a proud father gives.
"I see... That's great."
"Shouldn't you be in there?"
"Lord Rawlin insisted he speaks with the King himself. I feel hesitant, especially with the way the King looks at him, but I must follow his wishes."
"Huh... Hey, do you know where Korlin is being held? I heard it was in a cellar somewhere."
"Hm? Oh, yes, Rawlin also asked for his whereabouts. I believe he is being contained over yonder." Cilas directs his finger toward a damaged building on the outskirts of the outpost.
"Over there? Thank you, Cilas."
"It is my pleasure."
"I expect a three-course meal later!" Pholy says as she walks off toward the outskirts.
"...Right..."
Pholy approaches the ruined building. In its prime, this structure was likely a jail. A guard sits on a metal door that is built into the ground.
"Hello?" Pholy initiates.
"Hm? Oh!" The guard explodes to his feet. "It's you!"
"I-It is..."
"You're a hero! Everyone is in your debt!"
"T-that so?"
"Oh- Apologies, what are you here for?"
"I'm here to visit someone. Is that alright?"
"Considering there's only one prisoner, I take it you mean that Witch Spawn?"
Pholy nods. "May I?"
The guard sighs and ponders to himself.
"Well, I wasn't told not to let visitors in, and seeing how you saved our home, I guess it's alright. Just don't even think about freeing him, okay? I'll get fired."
"Don't worry. I wouldn't dare."
The guard pulls out a key and unlocks the cellar. He grabs the rusted handle and drags the hefty door open. This place is not used often.
"Go ahead." The man motions her inside.
Pholy nods and carefully walks down the cellar's stairs. She descends the steps and is met by a grimy hall.
"Gross..."
"I'm going to close this if that's alright. Normally I'd come down with you, but... I don't think that's necessary in this case. Just knock when you want to come out."
"...Okay."
The guard slides shut the heavy door, and the dungeon darkens. A cracked window on the ceiling funnels light and air inside. This place is cramped and deteriorating. It looks like this place has been abandoned for years.
-Is this place safe to keep someone in?
The hall is stiff and short, with only two cells. Pholy shuffles past the first, empty cell and slowly approaches the second.
She arrives at the thin, metal bars and peers inside.
...There he is.
Sitting in the corner on an empty bedframe, Korlin stalks the moldy floor. His hair is matted and frayed, hanging loosely over a blank stare.
His clothes are stained with blood.
...
"Hey."
"..."
Korlin continues observing the ground.
"...Is it true? That you brought that monster here..."
"...Mm."
...
"Why?"
"..."
"Was it to be admirable? Did you think that you could defeat it by yourself? Become some sort of hero?"
"..."
"..."
"I'm not who I thought I could be..."
His voice is frail. The sound of someone who has given up. He's succumbed to being no one.
"...And who did you think you could be?"
"..."
"No one dislikes how you are. Why are you trying to be somebody else?"
"I don't want to be somebody else... I want to be somebody more."
"...Weren't you the one who told Sirius to just be himself? You should be following your own advice."
"...Yeah, well... I'm not Sirius. I'm not anybody worth a damn."
"...Korlin-"
"Why are you here? To make fun of me?"
"What? Of course not-"
"I get it, okay? You're amazing... You're strong. You can save people."
"..."
"You're everything I wish I could be. But I'm not. So please, stop making me feel worse about myself."
"...Sorry, I didn't mean to. That's not why I came."
"...I know. I'm sorry. Just... get away from me."
Korlin curls into a ball and closes himself off. A quiet tension strangles the air.
Pholy's heart sinks. She stares at the broken boy and tries to find anything to say. But anything she does will only upset him further.
Pushing past the desire to rip open the cage, she drops her head and turns away. She retreats further down the bleak hall and stands before the cellar door.
Words boil up and can't be contained any longer.
"You know... I think you're pretty amazing as you are."
...
Pholy knocks on the cellar door. The guard slides it open, pouring bare sunlight into the jail.
As she walks up the stairs, quiet whimpers come from Korlin's cell.
He's crying.
Pholy desperately wants to turn back, but she resists and steps back into the cold wasteland.
⧗⧖⧗⧖⧗
Twilight paints the sky.
Snow reflects a pretty shade of indigo.
Sirius's day has passed without a single significant interaction. He feels as if he wasted it moping about. Which he did.
He heads in the direction of Kynn's shed. He needs to unwind his body and mind.
Suddenly, a ball of snow soars into his face.
The ball explodes and scatters snow through his hair and collar. The freezing liquid sends shivers through his body.
Scanning for the source, Sirius finds a young boy chuckling to himself behind some rubble.
The boy's elation is almost contagious. It almost makes Sirius laugh. Almost.
"Rhett!" A woman's voice abruptly calls out. "You know you're too sick to be messing around out here!"
"Aw, man..."
The boy's mother rushes over and grabs his wrist. She drags the boy toward a nearby building.
The boy begins coughing as he's pulled out of view. By the time the voices shrink, the snow in Sirius's hair has already melted.
Sirius arrives at the shed and pulls open the door.
An unexpected sight lies before him.
Aureole.
She must have entered recently, as she is still wearing her formal attire. She's sitting on Pholy's bed.
"Oh, Sirius! H-" Her manner muddles. "Why are you all wet? Are you sick?"
Memories of their first meeting flood Sirius's mind, and a weak smile spreads across his face.
"I don't even really know."
On cue, the memories flood Aureole's mind as well.
"I'm surprised you still remember that!" she glows.
"How could I forget? Besides, it wasn't that long ago." Sirius steps through the threshold and closes the door behind him. "Don't worry, I won't get your dress wet this time."
Sirius sits down.
"I appreciate it," she giggles. Rising to her feet, she takes a rag out of her bag and walks over to Sirius. She begins drying his hair. "You really are a water magnet, huh?"
"I guess so," Sirius grins.
Aureole brushes the rag through Sirius's hair, absorbing all the excess moisture she can. She purposely ruffles up his hair.
"There we go."
"Thank you..."
Aureole tosses the rag near her bag and jumps back onto her bed.
Sirius leans back and sprawls out on his bed. He stares up at the ceiling.
-She closed the distance like it was nothing...
"Is something troubling you?"
Her question makes him twitch.
"...Not really. I just have a lot on my mind."
"...Do you want to clear some of it out? I'm always here to listen."
-But why? Why...
...
"Why do you unravel me so easily...?"
"...What?"
Sirius sighs and presses the back of his hand against his forehead.
"There's always been a barrier between me and others... But for you... That barrier is always so thin. Why?"
"...There doesn't need to be that barrier."
"...I haven't figured out how to knock it down."
"..."
-I need to know.
"Why am I here...?"
"What do you mean?"
"...Why did you really take me in?"
"...What do you mean? It's like I told you. I wanted to thank you-"
"The real reason."
"..."
"What's the real reason? Why are you all so okay with me being here...?" Cracks form in his speech.
"Sirius... I..."
"Is it pity?"
"...Pity?"
"Mm, do you pity me?"
Aureole takes a moment to process his question and what he's referring to. She concludes it to be about his memories.
"I wouldn't call it pitying... It's more that I sympathize with your situation. I can hardly fathom what goes on through your head. Apart from Korlin, Cinth is probably the only one capable of empathizing with you."
"..."
-What is that supposed to mean? What does Hyacinth know?
"Speaking of which, how are you on that front? What Korlin said must have hurt you."
"No, if anything, it just confirmed something I've thought since the start..."
"O-Oh? And what's that?"
-That I don't know you.
"Nothing important. Sorry, I should let you get some sleep. I'm sure you had a long day."
"No, I'm fine..." Aureole leans toward him. "Why are you pushing me away? You should know you can talk to me-"
-Why? What are you gaining from it?
"I know, I know... I just don't feel like it right now." Sirius takes a deep breath. "You know, I'm grateful for you back then... Taking me in and giving me a place to call home... I don't want to bother my savior with my ramblings all the time."
"It doesn't bother me. In fact, I'd love if you'd ramble to me more-"
"Just think of it as part of my repayment. You don't have to hear my voice."
"Are you still thinking like that...? Why do you keep thinking you have to repay me?! That's not how relationships should work!"
"Relationship..."
"Only give-and-take isn't healthy! Don't you want something more out of your relationships?!"
"I don't know what I want. I don't know how to have relationships..."
"Is what we have not considered one to you...?"
cough
Aureole hacks violently into her arm and turns away from Sirius.
"Are you alright? Do you need me to get anything-?"
"Answer!"
Sirius has never seen her so angry before. This isn't how she usually acts. Not at all.
"I don't know if it is... There's too much I don't know."
"Then ask me! What don't you understand?!"
She hides her face from him. What kind of expression is she making?
"I really shouldn't..." Sirius shuts his eyes and steels himself.
"Ask me!"
-Fine.
"Why am I here?! Why did you bring me here?! Was it really just you feeling obligated to help me back?!"
"Obligated...? I wanted to! I wanted to help you!"
"How am I supposed to believe that?! You don't just pick someone off the street and bring them to your house because you want to thank them! I may not know a lot about this world, but I sure as hell know that isn't normal!"
"Sorry if I'm not normal!"
"That's not what I meant! Tell me why! Why is everyone so okay with someone like me being here?! Even if I did help you, I don't deserve this kindness!"
"Is it so hard to believe someone likes you?! That people can care about you?! We were all hesitant at first! No one knew I was taking you in! I'll admit it was a hasty decision, but I don't regret it!"
"Why?! You've seen what I'm like! I'm not likable in the slightest! I'm here for a reason! Why?! Am I being used for some scheme? Is this all a trick made for me to get comfortable around you?!"
"Of course it isn't!" Her throat is quaking. She's holding back tears.
"Was it really just to thank me? I can't believe that for a second. I want to, but for something so stupid to be true-! It doesn't make any sense-!"
Aureole reaches her breaking point.
"Of course it wasn't just to fucking thank you! I have my reasons! As if I would actually tell you why!"
...
...
A strained silence befalls them.
"..."
Sirius's thoughts implode on themselves... Everything connects and confirms itself. An emptiness caves inside him, clawing on his ears.
"Why are you like this? Why?! Why can't you just trust me?!"
"..."
"..." Aureole sinks as more coughs expel from her cracked throat. Still, she refuses to face him.
Sirius stands up and, without a word, goes to the door and slides it open.
...
...
"...I was right..."
...
Sirius slips through the doorway and builds a thicker barrier between them.
Night tears apart the lingering twilight and swallows the sky in an inky darkness.
Snowflakes dance down from the abyss.
A bitter chill pierces his skin. The world feels cold and desolate.
Aimless and alone, he ambles through the black and white canvas.
"Why can't you just trust me...?"
His advance falters, and he sits on a stray plank of wood floating amidst the snow sea. He looks at the ground, and emotions begin to overwhelm him.
Aureole has been special to him since their first meeting. He held her in a light he shone on no other... But that pedestal was built on lies.
-"I believe in you." "I'll be happy to listen." "I let myself get too comfortable..." All things she has said. Were any of them true?
The thought makes his heart ache.
"Why...? What's wrong with me?"
...
...
Moisture builds in his eyes, and he can't stop his feelings...
Before he knows it...
Warm tears run down his cheeks.
He cries without a whimper, just letting the teardrops fall. His weep is met without an embrace from Aureole... Or from anyone.
The cold is the only thing to coddle him.
crunch crunch
His emotions are cut off by the sound of nearing footsteps.
He doesn't look to see who is coming. He wipes his eyes, his head hanging low.
The footsteps stop beside him, and the figure sits down on the plank. Both of them sit on separate edges, placing as much distance between them as possible.
"So..." It's Pholy. "What did you say to her?"
"...I'm an emotionless freak."
"Maybe."
"...What do you want?" Sirius's tone is bitter.
"Are you mad at me? Did I do something?"
"No, not that I know of..."
...
"You know, I've seen the way you are around her. Your banter, your leaning against each other, your cuddles... The way you smile at her... Can you really say you don't feel anything?"
"...I don't know. I want to, I just..."
"..."
"I can't seem to trust anyone. Everything I hear sounds like a lie. Nothing feels genuine anymore... Maybe it never did..."
"..."
"..."
Pholy lets out a melancholic sigh.
"I'm going to tell you something she probably doesn't want you to hear."
"..."
"I don't think she's told anyone other than me or Cinth."
"..."
"Aureole... She can't feel love."
...
"...What do you mean?"
"No matter how much something or someone cares for her, no matter how much someone pours love and affection into her... She can't feel it at all. She can love others with all her heart, but is unable to feel others' love for herself."
"..."
"I think... she just wants to feel loved. By someone special to her. I thought maybe, just maybe, that someone could be you."
"...Me?"
"Yeah, but... As you are now, I don't think you're capable of that."
"...You're right. I can't love a single thing..."
"You are both hurt and vulnerable people. But I think over time you can help heal each other."
"..."
Pholy stands up and smiles at the boy.
"You don't need to do anything now. Just... think about it."
"...Mm."
Pholy begins toward the shed where Aureole resides.
"Oh, and Sirius, despite what you may believe... She would never try to hurt you. She really does care about you... I mean, seriously, she talks about you all the time, it's kind of annoying..."
Pholy waves and strolls off.
Sirius can hardly comprehend what she said. He takes his eyes off the floor and looks up to the falling sky.
His mind is a mess. But a faint light pokes through.
"Is that... true?"
⧗⧖⧗⧖⧗
Pholy enters the shed, sets down her tiara, and changes into her night clothes.
She sits on her bed and holds Aureole's hand. The lunim girl remains in a defeated position, her other hand holding her throat.
"Aure, are you alright?"
"...It happened again."
"...Oh... Aure-"
"I'm a freak... I yelled at him, and now he hates me."
Pholy wraps Aureole in a loving embrace.
"Honestly... you two are so alike... He doesn't hate you. I don't think he's even capable of that... He was crying, you know? He was hurt because he wants to care about you."
"But he can't! Because I'm like this-!"
"No. It's not your fault at all. His mind is just messed up... Just like yours."
"W-What am I supposed to do?"
"Just give it time. Just be yourself... You two need each other. You'll make up eventually."
Aureole cries in Pholy's arms until they both drift off to sleep.