The next day, while the men were tending to the children and cooking, I finally had the chance to do some testing and work. I told them I was going for a walk, to check on the forest and see how far our lake was. Given that it had been raining, I put on my gloves and boots, anticipating that my work would be wet and dirty.
My plan was to clear a blocked culvert. I suspected that one of several culverts had been blocked, preventing water from reaching the other side of the hill and the little path I had seen. I believed this path to be a dried-up riverbed that once flowed into our lake, watering the forest along its way. However, due to a lack of maintenance, twigs and debris had likely blocked the culvert(s), causing a bog to form.
To begin, I took my rake and drone with me. My first task was to map the forest, leading to the lake, to see if I could spot any other streams and get an idea of where the culverts might be.
I was quite enthusiastic about this, having enjoyed watching videos on Facebook of culverts being cleared. Seeing that initial trickle turn into a gush as the blockage was resolved was incredibly satisfying. I knew that all of that muddy bog water would significantly benefit the forest and bring about a tremendous change.
However, I also knew it would be dirty, wet, and hard work. Frankly, if I had told my husbands, they wouldn't have let me do it. They would have taken care of it themselves, perhaps even using some sort of "magic" – which, in my opinion, would have been a rather boring way to do it.
So, here I was again, doing my own thing, keeping it to myself because I selfishly wanted to accomplish this task on my own. As I hurried towards the forest, I hid my smugness and anticipation, not wanting to alert anyone just yet.
This was going to be so good! I dug out my drone, and once I achieved a suitable distance, I programmed a search grid with the parameters I desired. This meant the drone would fly at a specific height, disperse like a flock, and map the designated area. I planned to capture video feeds and conduct other mapping tasks, all of which I would review on my display.
I used the widest search grid possible because I was truly testing this technology. Since the drones dispersed into small units, they would be difficult to spot, and with their reflective surfaces, they could even be rendered invisible if that mode was selected.
Therefore, I had a lot to investigate: would they be sufficiently invisible? How would they navigate a forest and map the area? What kind of video feed would they provide, and what would its quality and detail be? Perfect! Once again, I was being selfish, a leader, an alpha female, and at times, a real bitch.
As I walked on, humming under my breath, I released the drones to their work. It would take some time for them to map the area and perform the scans I had set. With certain types of deep scans, I should be able to see culverts, or at least detect them if they were metal.
However, I had little idea where to begin searching. I planned to approach from the dry side, trying to gauge how boggy it was, and then make my way to the wet side. Gradually, I aimed to establish drainage and eventually achieve a good flush before moving on.
Certainly, this might take several days, and I might enlist the help of the men with me after a day or two, though I hadn't decided yet. I simply wanted to see how pleasant or how awful the situation was. My curiosity drove me to try everything new.
And after my little outdoor exercises, it would be perfect to bake some cakes and decorate them properly with my skills and fancy buttercreams. Perhaps I could let the children witness how Mommy creates fancy yet tasty cakes. I could make pretty decent ones, but I usually felt too lazy to bother. However, now, it might be fun to show off my skills to Wulfe, as I had never really demonstrated them to him before.
As I reached my destination, I planned to check my feed later. For now, I just wanted to see if I could find the first culvert pipe and begin emptying it out.
My drone descended, and I packed it away in my bag, which contained a decent lunch I'd prepared for myself, along with a few other essentials. This was going to be so much fun; I enjoyed physical work from time to time, and this promised to be very satisfying.
As a florist and plant expert, I also understood the significance this would have for the rest of the forest. I felt smug, and for good reason. I didn't want to share this with my overbearing, albeit protective, husbands, who might have a fit if they saw what I was actually about to do. Besides, I wasn't entirely sure how they would react to my drone.
An hour later, I took a deep breath and continued humming as I reached the next rotten log. I pulled it free and threw it behind me into a huge pipe I had uncovered. Since it was utterly blocked, it was rather dark inside, but I had brought additional light, which proved to be very helpful. Not much water was trickling through as the blockage was still too thick, but I could smell the bog, and it was as wonderful as I had imagined.
Physical work, using my body and my strength, has always been very satisfying, and seeing my efforts come to fruition is perfect.
"Mimi, what are you doing? Are you still outside? I'm kind of bored and was wondering if I could help you. The men are arranging those damn storages, as well as your hamster stashes, or teaching the kids, as they have an exercise day, and then the medical staff is in the medbay going through results and what's needed," Mariella's voice suddenly penetrated my concentration, as she contacted me via our hive mind.
The smell of damp bog and decay still clung to me as I moved deeper into the culvert. A slight trickle of water began to seep in, and though the work was hard, I found a strange sort of satisfaction in it.
This pipe was enormous, truly massive. I realized then that the hill I'd climbed earlier had once been a road or a path, long forgotten and reclaimed by the forest after improved roads were built, but these colossal pipes remained.
"Yeah, I'm out now," I replied to her, "and this project of mine takes time. Sure, if you want, you can join, but it's dirty, hard work, though ultimately rewarding. And you'll need decent clothes, as it's quite wet."
She responded eagerly, "Yeah, don't worry about that. I can manage. I have raincoats, pants, and rubber boots. Where are you and what are you doing? Do I need to bring anything?" she inquired, her voice brimming with anticipation.
I stopped working and stepped out of the pipe, stretching myself. A sense of smug satisfaction washed over me as I thought about this private corner of our hive, a place men would never discover.
"Well," I said, "don't tell the men. They'll ruin this, rushing through it, and I don't want that. I want to do this physically. Put on your rain clothes, grab a metallic, five-pronged rake, and wait. I'll show you where to come."
She hesitated for a moment, accustomed as she was to confiding everything in Damon. Yet, my alpha power stirred her beta power, and she found herself reluctant to share this particular discovery.
About ten minutes later, she called out, "Okay, I'm outside with my rake. Now what?"
I had already dispatched my drone swarm to guide her to me. "Look up," I instructed. "See my little swarm? Follow them."
From my display, I could see Mariella standing, gazing up at my drones with an expression of pure awe.
"Wow, Mimi, what are these? I bet Damon or Wulfe has no idea," she exclaimed, and then began to follow the swarm.
"Magnum left me quite a collection of gadgets to test extensively," I explained to her as she approached.
"He really wants to know what works and how long it lasts. This is just one example. As you know, he's been making drones for ages, and this is one of his newest: a swarm-capable, independently flying, mapping version. I've been using it to explore our surroundings. It also has decent shielding capabilities, offering a sort of invisibility. But for now, let it lead you."
She walked on, her silence filled with palpable curiosity and a growing independence. I knew she was on her way, but the journey wouldn't be easy. It would be a struggle for both her and Damon to let her be herself, rather than just a doll at his command.
This time in this pocket universe, however, offered so many reasons for growth and new experiences, not just for me, but for all of us. And, frankly, it felt rather smug to be orchestrating this behind the men's backs. As an alpha female, my dominant nature often made me want to assert my ego and will.
"Wow, what's going on? What is this stench?" Mariella asked, finally reaching me.
Her gaze swept around, landing on the culvert pipe and my lights within it. A frown creased her brow.
"I'm clearing out this enormous pipe," I explained, gesturing towards the forest. "This side of the forest is quite dry and suffering. This, you see, is the bottom of the stream that used to run here, draining from that culvert. But since it's been blocked, this part of the forest dried up."
I pointed towards a hill. "That used to be a road or path, but since they built new ones, it was forgotten. I never knew about it until yesterday when we were with the kids. I noticed the situation. This forest is lower than that side, meaning water would naturally run down here. And behind this forest is our lake."
Mariella followed my hand movements. "So, as this water starts to drain, most of the debris will be absorbed by the forest. By the time it reaches our lake, it will be quite clear. This forest, then, will have a water source. And since that road is long, I suspect there are several pipes, but I'm only clearing the first one. That bog is quite deep, and this is going to be wet and smelly."
Mariella smiled, her senses picking up on the energies, the lifeforces around us. She understood my plan.
"I don't want the men to have this too fast and easy, yeah? Let's do this slowly," she said.
I had just shown her a few clips from the internet about similar pipe clearings and what the outcome might look like. She was ready.
"Oh, I'm going to get this out, just wait a minute," Mariella grunted as we moved further inside the pipe to tackle a thicker piece of wood blocking the flow.
The water was trickling a bit more now. With another grunt, she yanked again, loosening the log. More water began to seep in. She twisted slightly, tossing the piece of wood behind her into the pipe. Then, with a burst of energy, she propelled it further, ensuring that once the water surge came through, it would easily slide out.
"Mimi, I know you have a lot of protection in your mind, but tell me something about your time in Fleas, an old story. I want to hear about it, or about your life with Damon. As I've learned, he isn't like he made me believe, and I want to know more, understand, and get to know you too."
I rolled my eyes as I yanked a decent clump of rotten hay and thinner twigs loose, making the pile shudder and water seep in. This was hard work, but so damn satisfying. A trickle of water was already seeping out of the pipe into the forest, and water sloshed around our boots, sometimes necessitating the use of rakes or just our hands. The air was thick with the smell of bog, perhaps a bit of mold, old metal, and our pheromones, our voices echoing inside the pipe.
I had shared my sandwiches with Mariella, and as it was getting rather dusky outside, we might soon head back to the house. The men hadn't asked about what we had been doing; they were plenty busy with various projects, or so we thought.
I said to Mariella, "Well, I've never spoken much about how I felt when Bran bricked me inside the wall. I mean, on the Australia trip, Katherine got a slight idea when I let her feel it, but it's hidden in a part of my mind where I haven't granted access even to Wulfe. God knows I've let him see my worst sides, everything, and definitely not the Salvatores. I protect them. They have this certain kind of innocence, and sometimes I feel like I taint them if I let too much of my shit out. Wulfe can handle most of my shit, but not everything. I just feel like I taint him too, or maybe I feel like a fake."
I was almost pondering out loud, not sure what I was actually trying to say. Was I trying to warn Mariella to back the hell off, or was I having some kind of epiphany about myself? I just wasn't sure, not entirely.
Mariella turned to me and said, "Let me ask a few questions. It seems you need to learn to share and perhaps consider other points of view. This will help you truly reflect on who you are, because you're a pretender. Despite learning to be yourself, you still shield yourself behind certain roles or expectations, and you're not being honest with yourself."
She appeared to be in a savior mood, but I figured, fine, let her try to crack me. I wasn't sure if it would help, but at least it would be another experience for me.
"Now," she continued, "let's start simple. You protect others, right? But from what? From you, from the world, from evil? Let's be a bit more specific, shall we? What is the one thing you protect Damon number one from?"
I took a breath. I did protect him, and from many things.
So, I replied, "He blames himself for most of the shit that has ever happened to me, as well as what Damien did. He blames himself for how broken I am, so I protect him by being stronger than I actually am. I don't let him see the true me, not entirely. Not like Wulfe; he has seen me, my core, my brokenness, and he understands that life sometimes breaks us, and it is what it is. But for Damon, he blames himself for being weak, for irritating Damien, for hurting others, for ruining my life. So, I just show him I'm not that broken, or I try to. But then, things like my neurosis or my MNDS hit me, telling him the reality. And as he looks at me, after one of my episodes, there's this expression in his eyes – pain in his soul. Our bond is so strong, it floods me, and I don't wish to hurt him so much."
Mariella then said, "Why don't you make him understand you better? Show him he wasn't the sole reason, or that shit happens."
I furrowed my brows and replied, "It's not that simple."
As I tried to rack my brain for the right words, I realized my life had taken a wrong turn long before Damon entered it.
My voice was a bit unsure as I confessed, "I had been captured and hurt several times even before him, and I was still figuring out who I was. But Damon, being Damon, started to mold me. I see it now. Despite our past, he was almost raising me, teaching me, and then Damien messed it all up. My alphaside was one thing, and then other things just happened. Bran messed with things, or that wizard made him do things to me, erasing his inhibitions so he could hurt me. I see it now. On that ship, Bran was decent. He was actually angry about what they did to me. But then, as I became a werewolf, everything changed. I was suddenly something he could exploit, and he had nasty habits and couldn't help himself or his feelings for me."
Mariella pulled a few more pieces of wood, took a breath, and pondered my words. While I wasn't revealing every detail, I knew that sometimes, the unspoken truths are what truly matter.
Mariella verified, pondering, "So, you've been around men who struggle with self-control, and they've never seen you as someone to be protected, except Adam and Samuel, your original pack."
I nodded, adding, "Colin has always protected me, too. Magnum, not so much; he's always been the one pushing me to do better. I guess Wulfe sees something similar in me, as he is. Damon, troubled by his past, had problems with dominant women long before I entered his life. Bran is so old that he'd become disconnected from his decency and humanity long before me. And as for me, I was never going to be someone to be protected, not since Damon came into my life. He's seen my rage, my powers, and I must admit, my femininity was never upfront with him. He, too, saw me as a creature, a beast, not as a woman, and it's one thing that defines our relationship. It's made me grow into my role as a supernatural being, not as a supernatural woman. And then there's my organization; it's only made me less of a woman."
Mariella pursed her lips, reflecting on my words. We then gathered a larger clump of twigs, a few thick branches, and leaf litter. This time, a decent flood was starting to trickle down, and the bog was already somewhat visible as we had cleared the blockage from its upper part. I had no idea how many pipes remained beyond this point, but surely this would help too.
A velvety voice suddenly spoke to my mind. At the same time, Mariella's face twisted into a grimace. My less-than-happy husband, Damon, had gotten wind of what we were doing. Or at least, he sensed we were engaged in something unsuitable, even dangerous. Mariella hadn't told him anything, so he mercilessly drilled into her mind with his telepathy and discovered our little plan to clear the culverts.
"Do you know, my wife," he hissed in my mind, "that what you two geniuses are doing is about as nasty as it gets? Being in that pipe, filled with bog water, moldy wood, and with little ventilation, is hardly advisable. Therefore, I would suggest you tell us exactly where you are. We can map the area out and clear those culverts by hand, as it is men's work. Thank you for giving us one decent job."
Mariella said, "Oops, we're busted."
She was right, of course, but I had no regrets. This had been fun and dangerous. I was immortal, after all; I'd never die. So what if my lungs were a bit iffy? Surely, I would recover. However, it seemed it was time to face the music in the form of a horde of not-so-impressed husbands and pack members. I could already feel Wulfe's disapproval in my mind.