I was just about to put my movie on when the door opened. Adam and Charles walked in, carrying a stack of pillows, a few new blankets, and pushing a cart full of treats and coffee.
Charles looked at me and said, "So, you did it again. Why?"
He could feel my pain, the pain I had tried to deny but which was undeniably there. However, as usual, my pain was secondary to the happiness of others.
I replied, "She needed him, he was lost and he needed her too. It's better this way. It's less painful if I let them go right away; there's no need to prolong the agony."
Adam, his voice calm, loving, yet worried, said, "Honey, your needs are important, more so than Mariella's. You should learn to prioritize them. Well, we are here, and we're not going anywhere. But first, let's freshen up your bed. Charles will assist you with your shower, I'll make the bed, and then it's movie marathon time. It's been ages since I watched *The Lord of the Rings*."
I grunted as Charles helped me up, ensuring I didn't fall as I went to take a long, luxurious shower. It felt good to move a little; I understood Salvatore's worry about me, but I needed to move and stretch. My body ached from not moving enough.
As I vigorously lathered and washed my hair, I pondered why I had let them go. I had sensed their need for each other, but more than that, I had to admit, it was my state of mind. I was protecting them. If I had revealed what I had learned, it would have shifted everything.
And damn, once again, uncertainty might have made him feel as if something was forcing him. Even if I hadn't revealed my information, my inventive mind had conjured up scenarios – not traditional sexplay, but darker ones – that might have driven them away, making them see me as twisted, broken, somehow wrong.
I was unsure why I was so hesitant, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I had so many reasons, yet it was what it was. Could I tell Adam and Charles about my little revelation? On one hand, it would give them leverage against Mariella. On the other hand, what if they told Damon? I just wasn't sure about that.
As I washed myself, rinsing for the final time, Adam was waiting with an army of towels and a bathrobe, ensuring I wouldn't get too cold. I stepped out, and he immediately wrapped me in a thick, absorbent bathrobe that wicked away moisture, keeping me warm. He then dried my hair, finally wrapping it in a large towel. He helped me sit on my vanity so he could braid it and blow-dry it fully.
I spoke in a soft voice, noticing Charles sitting on my bed, already shirtless and ready to watch movies.
"As you know, there's a lot of stuff here, and despite the Salvatores unloading much of it, surprises are still found. The girls were on discovery duty a few days ago and found more books. Nothing too bad, as Wulfe's spell works on the whole house, but well, it explains or tells about a possible future between me, Damon, and Mariella."
Charles grunted and said, "Mimi, honey, I love you, I really do, but please get to the point. There's no need to try to sound like some Agatha Christie book."
I rolled my eyes. Fine.
"I read a book," I explained, "that told me a whole new set of rules between an alpha female, an alpha male, and a beta female, as well as other men in the pack. The short version is that if I let our relationship, our shifter bond, evolve much further, it elevates our relationship and brings Mariella into the mix, as well as you other men. For normal packs, it would be a good thing, but for us, I'm not so sure."
Adam remained silent, while Charles barked impatiently, "Details, don't do that again. Talk so overly covering. Details, honey."
Adam was still drying my hair when I explained, "Well, in short, if my relationship with Damon elevates, my body will react to his scent. He'll react to mine, and we'll begin an intricate pheromone exchange. This usually results in me becoming pregnant. Mariella, smelling our pheromone exchange, will also become fertile. Damon, as the alpha male, will notice this and then give her specific pheromones, making her extremely fertile and irresistible to other males in the pack."
Adam smirked and summarized, "So, in essence, you and Damon are seducing each other with pheromones, making you fertile. This likely drives Damon's libido sky-high for you. Simultaneously, Mariella smells this, and Damon gives her pheromones that make her fertile but also a breeding vessel for the rest of the pack. Honey, that's not so bad! Just imagine: you and Damon consecrate a few houses, while the rest of the pack mates with Mariella, and she ends up pregnant by multiple fathers. What's new there?"
I rolled my eyes. The idea of being perpetually pregnant wasn't appealing, especially after this experience. I desired a life beyond being a mere puppy or a breeding machine. As
Charles came to help me with my nightgown after Adam finished my hair. It's cool, soft fabric draping over me like a shroud.
He said, "Well, honey, you need to discuss this with those it concerns."
"But Charles," I replied, "if this were to happen, would Damon hate me? Would he feel trapped? I don't want to put that kind of strain between us."
Adam interrupted my rant with a passionate kiss. When he finally pulled away, nipping my lower lip,
he said, "Honey, I love you, but set your ego aside and listen. This kind of bond is mutual. It won't happen if Damon doesn't want it. You're not trapping him; it's a natural bond, a natural evolution for an alpha pair. And Charles is right. I've called someone here now so you can explain and hear their perspective too."
Internally, I shuddered at the thought of facing Damon, of confessing this to him, and seeing that one expression on his face that would tell me he'd never allow it, regardless of my power. Well, it was time to break my heart once again. My hormones made my mind spin uncontrollably, and I wasn't always thinking logically.
Adam and Charles helped me get comfortable in bed, propping me up with pillows and blankets. They also brought me coffee and treats. Just as I was settling in, there was a knock at the door. My heart rate quickened, but to my surprise, it was Mariella.
"Damon is checking on the babies," she said, a hint of surprise in her voice. "Charles told me you have something to share."
I nodded, and Adam interjected in a firm tone, "Now, little one, remember what Damon told you: use your logic to decide what he should know. And if you want him to know, you have to be completely honest, as this is important."
Mariella nodded and crawled next to Charles, who was on my right, while Adam was on my left. I hadn't turned on the movie yet, but instead, I summoned the book to my lap.
"As you know, we have a lot to unpack, and this book is within Wulfe's parameters, meaning I can read it. However, what I'm about to tell you will change your relationship with Damon, with me, and with others. Now, are you sure you want to hear it?"
Mariella rolled her eyes. "Mimi, you're wonderful, but sometimes you overthink things. Just say it, tell me already."
I opened the first page of the book, cleared my throat, and read aloud: "When an alpha pair, male and female, is ready to take the next step, the female's pheromones shift. She releases certain pheromones, and this is involuntary; she doesn't even notice it herself, nor can she stop it. When love blooms in their hearts, their bodies communicate it to each other. As the female's pheromones reach the male, if his heart holds love for her, his pheromones respond, locking their bond permanently. From this moment on, nothing can separate their alpha powers; they can only merge further."
I took a breath.
Mariella was quiet, but smiling. "So," she clarified, "this means your bond with Damon will become so strong that not even I can pull your alpha power apart. That's good news, not bad."
I replied, "But what if Damon feels like I'm trapping him? What if he hates me and wants you?"
Mariella said, "Understand what you read, you silly cow. The bond doesn't form if both parties aren't willing."
I furrowed my brow, certain that even up to this day, my alpha power had merged with Damon's in varying amounts. However, it was almost completely dismantled after their "love holiday" in the Azores.
But if this were to happen, no more, Damon would be mine. Oh, bloody hell, my hormonal mind found such deep satisfaction in that thought. I rolled my eyes, feeling the softness of the bed and the warmth of the blankets, smelling Damon and Mariella around me. I suppose I was trying to anchor my mind to something concrete instead of letting my hormones run rampant, though it didn't work that well.
I continued, saying to Mariella, "Oh, there is more, and this next part, you might be less happy with it."
I picked up my bookmark and opened the book to a different section, then read aloud: "As an alpha female smells the scent of her male, she emits her calling, telling him she is ready, she is his and only his. He responds by sending his scent to her, which in turn tells her body that the male wants her, needs her, so her body prepares. In a few days, she emits an ever-increasing scent of fertility, letting him know her body is preparing. At the same time, the male emits his own scent, this time directed to the beta female, telling her it is time for the breeding season. Her body, sensitive to the alpha, is ready, but her scent tells the males of the pack that she is ready to mate. Each male in the pack, all except the alpha male, finds the beta female irresistible, and she is willing to mate and produce many litters."
Mariella raised her eyebrows and swallowed.
I gave her no mercy as I continued: "The alpha pair will entice each other over the coming days, strengthening their bond and letting their pheromones seduce one another. As the breeding season commences, the alpha pair will enter a private rut, which might last several months, leaving the beta female and other females of the pack to breed with the males of the pack."
Mariella was silent for a moment.
Then she said slowly, "You mean, when you smell Damon, you start to ooze some damn pheromone that makes him want to breed, and he accepts, but at the same time, he turns me into, well, a sex object for the rest of the pack, as well as other females? And then you two withdraw and sanctify yourselves privately for months while the rest of the pack is having an orgy?"
I nodded and continued reading aloud, "After rutting season, the alpha female bears a litter. This one litter is born while other females are in their breeding season. It continues weekly as long as the alpha female cares for her cubs. Only when the alpha female's body indicates that the breeding season is over does breeding for others cease."
Mariella muttered, "Oh, great. So you have one litter, and knowing you, you'll care for it for a long time. As long as you do, we'll be popping out litters weekly. Oh, my fucking god."
Charles smiled at Mariella and said, "Come on, little one, what's new with that? You're good at popping litters, and sure, I could sire a few litters in you myself as well."
Mariella playfully slapped him. "Oh, stop that, you cornick! Well, at least I have years left until that's possible, the breeding part at least."
I said to her, "Now you know. The question is, should Damon know too?"
Mariella fell silent, pondering the very same question. Should Damon know? Could it help or not? She was a bit unsure about the relationship aspect, but she was irritated, yet also aroused by the thought of the breeding and sex fest. However, she felt there was more to this than just breeding.
Mimi was still withholding something, and she seemed almost... scared? Well, Mimi certainly had her issues with trust, and she was a creature of love. Surely, this would affect her relationship with Damon. Mariella wasn't the alpha female; she couldn't understand or feel that. Mimi had had a rough history, full of violence, death, and torture, but then again, love and trust had also bloomed.
Mariella pondered, "Hmm, maybe Wulfe might be the right person to tell and see what he thinks."
Wulfe, being the closest thing Mimi had to an other half, in a way that Damon never could be.
It was Adam who said to Mariella, "So now you know, and I can see it's not so simple for you either. But the burden of knowledge has been passed on, princess, so there you have it."
Mariella said, "I'm not sure. Perhaps Wulfe could offer more insight, but Mimi, you're still holding back. What are you hiding? And give me that book; I want to read it too."
Taking a breath, I replied, "Well, it's just that I can't predict when our bond will evolve, if it ever evolves at all. There's a chance we might never reach it. And if Damon were to know, and we couldn't go through with it, would he suffer? Would he blame himself? What about the other Salvatores – would they be jealous? My relationship with Number Five is entirely different from the one with Number One. Despite him being my alpha, I'm uncertain about us."
I continued, "And then, if we *did* go through with it, would he feel trapped? Or would he finally see me for who I truly am and realize his mistake? This bond, once formed, cannot be undone. I must be honest; my tattoo, like his, hasn't grown in months, and it's the epitome of our bond. Then there's me. Can I be what Damon needs me to be? Am I worthy of him? There are just too many moving parts right now for me to grasp anything clearly. I'm cranky, hormonal, and volatile. My hormonal side is like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, whispering how delicious it would be to have Damon all to ourselves, to make him our precious."
Mariella furrowed her brow. "Well, I haven't seen those movies, so I have no idea what you're referring to. But yes, you're a mess mentally. And to be honest, it's not just your decision; it's mine and Damon's too. All of our feelings – love, lust, everything – are part of this."
Mariella settled more comfortably in bed and suggested, "Why don't we put a movie on? Let's watch it, let this information simmer, and see what we come up with. I'm curious about these movies, and I enjoy experiencing new things."
She giggled suddenly, as if a funny thought had crossed her mind.
Adam, noticing her amusement, asked, "What's so funny? Please share."
Mariella explained, "It's just that if Mimi and Damon hit it off during this time, I mean, if that bond forms, I guess Katherine, Elena, Mimosa, and Shadow would be less happy. If those two have lust for each other, it's time for puppy mills. I bet they had no idea."
Charles smirked and offered, "Well, you see, the easy solution is to make sure Mimi isn't in an overly caring mood."
I rolled my eyes and confessed, "Yeah, but you see, as this is pheromone play, when I smell other females' fertility and cubs, my care mode kicks in. It's only when I deem my cubs ready that they can be with us for eight weeks or more, or when one of the females is too strained to have cubs. And well, you all are so freaking fertile and rarely get any major complications. My care instinct would extend to the whole pack, meaning you would have a horde of males caring for you and the cubs, ensuring no infection and no strain, all to maintain the breeding season for as long as possible. And there's one more thing that might happen: we'd have regular heats, not necessarily for breeding but for hormonal upkeep. And knowing me, mode heats."
Mariella fell silent for a moment before softly saying, "Oh fucking hell, we're doomed."
Charles and Adam both smirked, finding Mariella's desperation amusing.
As usual, the future was not ours to see, and I, for one, had no idea what it would take for our bond to deepen or how far or close we truly were. Perhaps I should ask Wulfe, but then again, being a hopeless romantic, he might just blurt everything out to Damon. Damon, if he were in the mood, might then try to make this happen.
And for me, he was, damn it, my ultimate weakness. So, if he were to employ his best moves, his seduction, and put in real effort to win my heart, it wouldn't be too difficult for him to succeed. Damn it, I needed to finish reading that book; perhaps there was something in it, or maybe just more so-called good news or bad news, depending on how you looked at it.