"Really?" Anna Faris asked, lowering her gun with a genuinely shocked look. Rihanna, looking back at her, gave an annoyed expression. Faris flinched and quickly shifted her weapon back to aim at the cineplex group. "Sorry," she mumbled too softly for anyone other than a female singer to hear.
"Aww, don't be mad at Cindy," Akane said while keeping an eye on Michelle Rodriguez, her military-issued rifle aimed low but still on one of the woman's legs. "I was being genuine about the autographs. I'll be honest, when I chased you four, I didn't know I would be chasing a group of celebrities!" Akane chuckled. "Though in hindsight, we've already met two others, so at this point I'm starting to think that's the only people still alive in town." Her words caused Faris to drop her gun again with hope.
"Really, was one of them Chris Pratt! Wait, maybe you don't know who that is. Have you seen the movie Wanted, or a show called ever-" The Scary Movie star started to ramble, only for Angelina Jolie to cut her off.
"Anna! We talked about this," she shouted from the other side of the car, a flash of annoyance crossed her face.
"He wasn't at the party, Angelina. He could still be surviving somewhere!" Anna shot back with some desperation.
"As I've already said, it's been two months, Anna, if he were alive, he would have come looking if he was still-" Angelina started, but was cut off.
"Girls, it isn't the time or place for this," Rihanna shouted as she kept a steady aim at Nora, who was casually aiming her mare's leg at the singer without a care in the world. The two women in the back stopped talking, but one could tell that the argument was far from over. Akane raised a brow as her smile never dropped.
"Sorry to say, but no sign of this Chris, nor Brad for that matter, as well, which is a god's honest shame if you ask me. He was my hall pass," Akane said, making Logan chuckle. Angelina raised a brow as she frowned.
"Well, aren't you cute?" She said.
"Bitch I'm adorable," Akane answered, earning a snort from the others in her group. A growl from Michelle brought back focus to her as she and everyone else could hear the sound of the dead getting closer from all their shouting and the sound of the cars' engines.
"Look, this has been fun, but we have somewhere to go, and we would like to not have to waste ammo to get back there, so are we having a shootout, or are you gonna let us pass?" she said, eyeing the cineplex groups' better firepower with hidden trepidation.
"How about an escort?" Logan chimed in as he dropped his gun after Faris did hers. "We're looting, and it seems you're heading the same direction that we were going. Gonna take an educated guess and say you're set up in one of the mansions."
"Really, you offer to escort us and then say you're looting?" Rihanna said with a scoff, and Logan gave her a look. "Like I said, we're both heading to the same place, so it's not like we won't see you again if we let you go. It's better just to let us drive you home, so we know which house not to try to rob. We are looting abandoned properties, not ones that are still being used."
"Plus the autographs, please and thank you," Akane added with a giggle when the four celebrities looked to her. The leader, Michelle, blinked for a second before looking back to Angelina, then across the interior to Rihanna and Faris. They showed concern for the situation and the lack of firepower on their side, and gave a reluctant nod. Looking back at the group, she sighed and dropped her gun, and stood up. She was followed by the other three in her group, and the Cineplex group lowered theirs as well.
"Fine, just move the cars back so we can drive through," Michelle said and got back in her Humvee, the three other celebs doing the same. Akane gave an okay signal through the window as Logan and the rest of her group did just that. It wasn't a moment too soon as the first few dead found themselves on the street, only to see the dust of the two Humvees driving away.
#####
"Wow, did you pick the most expensive place or what?" Leah said as they got out of their yellow Humvee and walked over to the four celebs. After driving off, they headed up the hills of Hollywood and found themselves at a colossal, shimmering modernist structure seemingly suspended above Los Angeles. An almost gravity-defying spectacle of glass, white marble, and clean, geometric lines. "Fucking thing has a moat for god sakes," Leah continued. They had just parked in a massive garage hidden under the house, one that had more than just the Humvee the four celebs were driving. Some sporty, others family-oriented.
"What can I say? After living rich, you tend not to want to give it up if you can," Angelina said. "Now, while we have you here, mind helping with these supplies?" she said while pointing to Logan and then to the boxes. Logan raised a brow at her ordering him around. "What, your girlfriend said she wanted an autograph, and all our pens are inside the house. Might as well help a few little ladies out, big strong man that you are, yeah?" He looked at the Kate plus eight wanna be, before looking to Akane, who was giving him puppy dog eyes and sighing before doing what was asked of him. Thankfully, Leah and Nora joined him, so he wouldn't need to make a second trip, given there were only three heavy boxes of supplies. Akane, seeing she couldn't help, simply gave the three a look that told of "showing appreciation" for the free labor due to her wants.
The walk up the stairs from the garage wasn't too bad before they entered into an interior that was a true example of a disgusting amount of opulence. Sure, the place was lived in and had clear signs of dirt and grime from such living, but it didn't detract from the white marble floor and walls, windows showing the Los Angeles sky, infinity pools, marble kitchen, two marble bars in sight, and likely bathrooms with some Japanese advanced toilets if you checked. There was even framed artwork and sculptures built into the house. "Jesus, do you have a fucking golf course on the roof?" Leah sarcastically chimed in again, making Faris look to her and nod.
"Yeah, well, it's for putting, but the kids seem to enjoy it," Faris answered without realizing the sarcasm. The native woman just looked at the actor and shook her head. As the two groups dropped off the supplies in the kitchen, more people showed up. Most were children, some being Angelina's, while the others were honest to god more celebrities.
"Okay, I kind of said it as a joke, but are there really only celebrities in this fucking city?" Akane said as she put famous faces to names. Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Alba, the Kardashians, Rachel Bilson, Katherine Heigl, etc., all clambered to the kitchen and the supplies that the newcomers had just set down. Blinking, Akane also took note of another interesting thing. "And all of you are women?" she asked the air as the disheveled celebs grabbed food and water for the kids and themselves. A lot of them eyed the four survivors, a few more gazing at Logan before focusing on the food.
"Oh yeah," Faris said as she herself munched on a protein bar. "Like I was shouting before, we were all at a fundraiser party when shit hit the fan. Jennifer," Faris pauses and points to the nineteen-year-old Jennifer Lawrence, who freezes as she is eating a Twinkie. "She thinks that the meat dish was contaminated, as guests, mostly the guys, due to a lot of us girls choosing salads, started getting sick and vomiting before turning into zombies. Then it was a lot of biting and struggles as the party became a bloodbath. Most of the guys started to hold back the sick people while we girls ran for the cars. We all drove to the safety of our houses and called the cops, but by that time, the world was burning. Now we're two months in, found the biggest place to live that didn't involve leaving the rather quiet neighborhood, and then going out in groups to gather supplies."
Logan, Akane, Leah, and Nora blinked at the story before gazing at the entire women and children survival group with a raised brow. To say that Zombieland was turning out to be more interesting than they thought was saying something. At that moment, Angelina came back with a Sharpie and a smile as she raised it. "Now about those autographs"