"You were marvelous in the show," the old man said, pulling me into a warm, lingering hug. "This is hands down my favorite musical of the 21st century."
"Thank you, Steven," I said sincerely once he let go. "Man, it's been so long since we last met."
"It has," Steven Spielberg agreed with a fond smile. "And even longer since we worked together."
"True," I said, gesturing for him to take the seat opposite me in my far-too cramped changing room. That was the life of a Broadway actor, though.
"So what's your favorite musical of all time? Not just this century."
"[West Side Story]," he said without missing a beat. "I love it. Classic Romeo and Juliet with a modern twist. The sad part is that even now, it's still painfully relevant."
"Sondheim was a genius," I said. "All his musicals are great."
He nodded. "Couldn't have said it better myself. I really wanted to remake [West Side Story] as a film, but I don't think people would be interested anymore, especially when the original is already such a great movie."
I gave him a thoughtful look, my mind drifting briefly toward the future. Spielberg would eventually remake the film in 2021, right in the middle of a pandemic, which would doom it commercially. It was still a strong film, even if the male lead couldn't sing particularly well and the female lead turned out to be problematic in other ways.
"Anyway," he said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "I've got a project I wanted to offer you. Have you seen the play [War Horse]? It debuted in the West End last year."
I hadn't seen the play, but I'd seen the movie he was referring to. [War Horse] was exactly the kind of film that fit Spielberg's sensibilities. Nostalgia for a bygone era, the brutality of war, and the emotional pull of reunion after long separation between a boy and his horse. It was a solid war film, and one of the few 21st-century movies of his that I genuinely liked.
But there was a big problem, one that made it impossible for me to accept the role.
"Isn't the protagonist pretty young in it?" I asked. "Like 14-15?"
Steven nodded. "Yes, but the story spans several years. He grows into his late teens by the time the film ends."
I shook my head. "Sorry, but I'm not playing a teenager again, especially one that young."
That was the same reason I'd given up on the role of Paul Atreides in [Dune]. I was too old and too tall to play him convincingly. I'd wanted the role badly, but some things just couldn't be helped. I still felt a flash of irritation at the old man who'd sat on the adaptation right for years, unwilling to budge. If he'd let them go earlier, I could've made the film while I was still a teenager. Now, at 21 and already six foot three, I wouldn't be believable as Paul, no matter how much I wanted it.
"People know you're an actor," Steven insisted. "You can play any age. We'll use makeup and camera angles to make you look shorter and younger."
"Or," I said calmly, "you could hire a younger actor."
I could see he was ready to argue some more, so I spoke up before he could. "I chose the role of Joker specifically, so I wouldn't be seen as a kid for years to come. I'm not going back to that again. But I really do want to work with you, and I even have a film in mind that we could do together. Since you want to make a musical, how about we make one of the most acclaimed musicals of all time? [Les Misérables]."
Steven furrowed his brow, leaning back slightly in his chair as he considered what I'd just put on the table.
"Just think about it," I said, pressing on gently. "It's undoubtedly the musical with the greatest cinematic moments. Injustice, war, romance, heartbreak, tragedy. Even thinking about it, I can't help but feel for Jean Valjean. It's perfect."
He gave me a hesitant look. "It's not my style. I like the endings of my films to be happy and hopeful. It's very sad."
"Yeah, [A.I.] was a very happy movie," I said blandly. "So is [West Side Story]."
He chuckled, shaking his head after being caught in his own words. "Point taken. The thing is, I know [Les Misérables] will make money. I don't just want to do what's easy. I want a challenge in my work. That's why I rejected Harry Potter when your dad offered it to me."
"That's not really true," I countered immediately. "[Phantom of the Opera] is even bigger than [Les Misérables], yet it flopped as a movie because Joel Schumacher wasn't the right director for it. My team acquired the rights just last month, and one of the conditions was that the director had to be a good one. I can't think of anyone better than you."
The real reason I was pushing Spielberg so hard was simple. I absolutely hated the earlier Les Misérables film, made by the same man who'd gone on to direct the abomination called [Cats]. One thing I had to give Steven credit for was that [Les Misérables] would be a hit no matter who made it. If a version with such weak direction could become so popular, I could only imagine how big Spielberg's movie magic would make it, especially with me involved.
"But you won't be able to play Valjean," he said at last.
"That's fine," I said, waving off his concern. "I'll play Marius. A little-known story: during my audition for [The Sixth Sense], I sang one of Marius's songs. That was the only reason I got the role. It will be a full-circle moment for me. I think they still have the audition tape. We could use it for marketing, releasing it to compare the two versions."
Steven went quiet again, clearly weighing everything. After a few seconds, he nodded slowly. "Alright. Let's do it. But I'm busy for a while. I've already committed to [War Horse], and my motion-capture film [The Adventures of Tintin], with your friend Jamie Bell in the lead, is also in post-production."
Tintin was another film Spielberg had once offered me, but I'd recommended Jamie instead, since he'd played the role originally.
"No problem," I said easily. "I'm packed this year with multiple projects anyway. Even if you move forward with production, it'd probably be late 2011 or early 2012 when we actually start shooting."
"Not to mention, you'll have a wedding to plan and attend," he added, ribbing me playfully.
We made small talk for a few more minutes before he finally got up to leave. The door had barely closed behind him when Benji made his presence known.
"Les Misérables?" he asked rhetorically. "Really? And here you were asking me to draw up reports on three roles you've already taken on, and now you're adding another one."
"Were you asleep for half that conversation?" I shot back. "I told him we wouldn't even begin shooting until late 2011. I'll be free long before then."
He shook his head slowly. "I still think you shouldn't be making any commitments right now. Not until…" he lowered his voice, "…the baby. And the wedding too."
I waved off his concern. "Don't overthink it. If I can't play the role, we'll hire someone else. It's that simple. Now tell me, did you run the feasibility on the three roles I asked you about?"
Benji nodded, all business again. "I did. I spoke to Steve Carell, James Cameron, and Evan about the expected shooting schedules and the physical prep you'll need. Honestly, you won't have to lose much weight for any of them. You can wrap all your scenes in the rom-com by July. You'll need to get more defined for one particular sequence, but that's doable since you're already in great shape."
I had a feeling he meant that dirty dancing scene.
"For [Game of Thrones], Cameron doesn't mind if you're ripped," Benji continued. "He said, and I quote, 'That's just more viewers for me.'"
I laughed. That sounded exactly like something Jim would say.
"He told me all your scenes would be shot together in October. Since the show spans multiple regions, they're shooting by location instead of episode. So everything you have in Essos will be done in about two to three weeks."
That worked perfectly for me. I didn't want to be away from Scarlett and the baby for too long.
"As for [Hacksaw Ridge], it'll start shooting immediately after [Game of Thrones] in October and should wrap by mid-January. Evan also said he doesn't mind your musculature. Just not too much. That's the weight you can drop during your break in August and September. Ideally, your goal should be to get a leaner physique, while still staying ripped."
"That's perfect, Benji," I said with a grin. "You actually made it work. I'll be away from home for only two or three weeks total. That's exactly what I needed."
"There's just one thing," he said hesitantly.
"What?" I asked.
"I'm not completely sure about the [Game of Thrones] part. James Cameron's added a few nude sex scenes for your character. Starting right from the pilot. He wanted me to confirm if you're okay with that."
I blinked, surprised. It caught me off guard because, as far as I remembered, Viserys didn't have scenes like that in the original show. Then again, if my role was being expanded enough to make me the top-billed star, it made sense. They were weaving the show's biggest USP directly into my character.
The shock value.
Sex was one thing that guaranteed attention. And unfortunately, the world never ran short on perverts willing to tune in just for that.
Nudity in any kind of media is usually discussed very clearly with actors during pre-production. A lot of big actors even have exclusivity clauses written into their contracts for that reason. Especially A-listers, who often insist that only their character can appear naked in a particular film or show.
I remembered watching my namesake [Troy] and noticing that Brad Pitt had his bare ass out far more often than anyone else in that movie, despite other characters like Paris and Hector having intimate moments with their respective lovers. It was only years later, after I started working as an actor myself, that I realized what was probably going on. He likely had a clause in his contract that prevented other male characters from shedding their clothes, making sure no one else appeared "sexier" than him on screen.
I had no conditions like that. In fact, it would be weird if I were the only character naked in a medieval fantasy show.
With the last [Harry Potter] set to release very soon, it wouldn't really matter if I did a scene like that now. My contract with them would be over by then. And my past as a porn performer had already ensured that I wasn't particularly shy about nudity in front of strangers. Still, I wasn't about to do it just for the sake of it.
I wanted to do a scene like that in [The Night Of] because it made sense for my character. It served the story and showed the humiliation I endured in prison. It wasn't gratuitous.
So if I was going to agree to something similar in [Game of Thrones], it had to mean something for the character. Or to prove a point for the audience.
"Get him to send me the details for every scene in every episode where I'm not fully dressed," I said. "I'll approve each one individually."
Benji stared at me for a few seconds. "So you're open to doing it?"
I shrugged. "Yeah. You know I don't really care much about nudity."
"Sure," he said carefully, "but this time the whole world will see it. Not just your close friends or family on your personal island. And the internet will make sure it stays online forever. There are forums and websites online where they have archives of celeb nudity."
I waved off his concern. "I'm an actor first and foremost. I'll always do what's right for the role. If the role needs me to take my clothes off, I will. It's that simple."
He nodded, still hesitant, then cracked a grin. "Your fans are going to lose their minds. Especially the girls and the gays."
I laughed. "I'm pretty sure that's exactly what Jim had in mind. I told him in an earlier meeting that we need as many people as possible watching the first season, using any means necessary to grab attention. Jim knows what sells. That's why he's such a great filmmaker."
I paused before adding, "Did Kate Winslet absolutely need to get naked in Titanic? Not really. But she did, and that movie earned nearly two billion dollars."
"It's the same with me. I could ask them to remove every one of those scenes. But honestly, I'd rather get it over with now. That way, if I ever have to do something like this again in the future, I won't even have to think twice."
Benji tilted his head, considering it. "Alright. I'll email him and ask for the details."
I nodded and stood up, stretching slightly. "Let's go. I'm exhausted after today's show, and Scarlett will be home waiting for me."
Scarlett wrapped up her Broadway run just before she started showing. Since then, she'd gone fully incognito, avoiding any place where paparazzi might be lurking. I couldn't wait to get back to Casa Encantada, where she'd have a sprawling property to walk around in freely, unlike my Manhattan apartment, where she was mostly confined to the terrace.
"So when are you announcing the pregnancy?" Benji asked as soon as we were back in my car, the city lights sliding past the windows.
I let out a tired sigh. "I don't want to. Ever. The media can be brutal with celebrity kids, and I don't want my family going through that. The problem is the Tony Awards. Scarlett's almost guaranteed a nomination, and once that happens, everyone will know."
Her play had received rave reviews, especially her performance. I'd be genuinely shocked if she wasn't nominated. And this would be her first major acting award in years, so skipping the ceremony wouldn't even be an option. I knew her too well.
"I'm sure you'll manage the media," Benji said confidently. "You always do."
That was the problem. I wasn't sure I'd have the restraint if someone said something cruel about my kid, let alone Scarlett. I didn't trust myself not to lose control.
(Break)
"The Book of Mormon is the most outrageous, filthy, funny, and surprisingly sweet musical I have ever seen. The moment Troy Armitage steps on stage as Elder Price, you won't have any reason not to laugh. You'd think an actor as accomplished as him wouldn't be doing an original Broadway musical, but the second you lay eyes on him, you forget he's an actor at all. He integrates himself so completely into the role that all you see is a Mormon missionary.
That perfectly friendly smile, the over-combed hair, the Utah accent. Even the smallest micro-expressions and body movements are carefully woven into his performance. Everything is pitch-perfect for an actual LDS missionary, and that's coming from someone who spent part of their childhood in Utah.
Josh Gad as Elder Cunningham manages the unthinkable. He matches Troy's seemingly endless energy beat for beat, and together the two create something incredible! Their chemistry is off the charts, and the ease with which they bounce dialogue and songs off each other is mesmerizing. I genuinely hope Armitage and Gad collaborate on more projects in the future.
Rounding out the cast are Nikki M. James as Nabulungi, Michael Potts as Mafala Hatimbi, and Andrew Rannels as Elder McKinley. The sincerity they bring to their roles is astounding. At first, they come across as comic relief, and the two men largely remain so, excellent comic relief at that. But James completely steals the show in the second half, especially with her heartbreaking rendition of 'Sal Tlay Ka City.'
South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have joined forces with Robert Lopez of Avenue Q, and together they've created one of the sweetest and most heartwarming shows ever put on stage. During some of the more outrageous opening jokes, a few audience members were visibly uncomfortable. By the end, though, even the most religious among them couldn't help but grin and sing along, 'Tomorrow is a Latter Day!'
Don't waste a single moment. Grab a ticket as soon as you can, before Troy Armitage leaves the production in May. I'm sure the producers will find worthy replacements, but don't miss the chance to see him pull a horrified expression as his fellow actors raise their middle fingers to the sky, or that unforgettable scene in the doctor's office. Enough said. I'm laughing just thinking about it."
Rating: 10/10
Ben Kennedy, The New York Times.
(Break)
Patty stared at the screen again, frustration written all over her face. "I don't know why the hell we can't get those tickets. I've been trying forever. The moment they go on sale, they're gone. How is that even possible?"
Normally, Broadway shows released tickets months in advance. But for The Book of Mormon, tickets were released weekly instead. The producers were worried people would hoard them and resell them at absurd prices.
Which, ironically, was exactly what was happening anyway.
Claire reached over and patted Patty's back gently. "There, there. You'll get one eventually."
Patty shot her a glare but didn't say anything. Claire had already managed to snag a ticket. Or rather, her boyfriend had managed to snag two tickets for the following week. If only Patty had that kind of luck.
"I don't get why people are suddenly obsessed with Broadway," Patty grumbled.
"For the same reason you are," Claire said, pointing out the obvious. "Troy isn't just a superstar anymore. He's an emotion. And people want to experience that emotion in person."
Patty ignored her and flicked on the TV instead. The Tony Award nominations were about to be announced. The broadcast itself was dull, and since neither of them was particularly into Broadway in general, they only half-paid attention until the category they cared about came up.
The Book of Mormon ended up with a record-breaking sixteen nominations.
"Wow," Patty said. "That's… a lot. Is that too much?"
Claire shrugged. "All I know is that Troy got nominated for Best Actor in a Musical. But Josh Gad is in the same category." She paused, then added, "And Scarlett Johansson's nominated for Best Featured Actress in a play. Just imagine that. Troy and Scarlett winning a Tony on the same night."
Patty's eyes lit up. "And if the rumors are true, and she's actually pregnant, that'd be such a perfect family moment. The three of them."
Claire's eyes widened. "Oh my God. We'll probably find out for sure at the awards next month. I mean, she has to be showing by then, right?"
Suddenly, Patty found herself more excited about the Tony Awards than the musical she still couldn't get tickets for.
____________________
AN: Check out my second story, 'Swimmer to Superstar (A Hollywood SI)'.
Link: www(dot)fablefic(dot)com