Perhaps no one is qualified to judge which of these two philosophies is superior; after all, everyone has the right to choose their own way of life.
But it must be acknowledged that the ancestors of every great noble house were firm adherents to the latter philosophy.
It's just the way things are.
The interests of species, families, and individuals often do not perfectly align; disparities and lamentable outcomes are all too normal.
Of course, descendants who receive support from their families must also bear corresponding responsibilities—be it a political marriage or marching onto the battlefield.
In knightly novels, some characters live in luxury for their first decade or so, only to then shirk their responsibilities and elope. They might claim love as their excuse, but in reality, they are just a bunch of selfish wretches searching for justification.
If you want glory in the eyes of others, you must be prepared to suffer behind the scenes.
