The teen scoffed but nodded and went along.
She left before I could think of anything helpful to say or do.
Victoria watched them go, face heavy with an uncertainty I wasn't used to seeing on her. But she found a weak smile for me. "Found something you like, Erika?"
I had no help to give so I'd just let her not think about that teen for now.
"More like something to experiment with. You know, for personal difficulties."
Of course I looked away while talking. My face had to be green from it all.
"I hope it works out. I've got to run this over to Mina. I'll try to help you shop in a bit okay? But it might be too much to fit in."
That did seem to tear her up. But I was hardly going to hold it against her.
"Its fine. A lot of people are struggling more than me. And Madison is helping me out a lot."
Madison gave an oddly reluctant sort of wave. And Victoria a look of tolerance. "Well, you could probably pull off bows if you want to. We can try another day if things don't work out!"
And with that she left, floating over a few racks to make it to the door sooner. The cashier watched her go before turning back to us.
"Uh, can I help you two?"
The man behind the counter was enthusiastically expectant. At once I was reminded of zoo exhibits. And I knew which side of the glass I was on.
"Here." I shoved the shorts up onto the counter.
"Just this?"
"I'm not buying more until I know what fits right."
He titled his head and regarded me like one might the class idiot giving the wring answer. "We have changing rooms?"
"I already used them. That's why I'm buying this." He didn't need to know any more than that.
He finally got to ringing me up, but gave me some not at all subtle side glances while he did so. Slowly. Madison was also getting a share of the checking out.
How long did it take to scan one item?
"So, you've got powers?"
"Yup."
I didn't want to give him anything to talk about, I just stared. This counter I could barely see over blocked most of my now visible displeasure. Really, he was dragging his feet on purpose.
After a few moments of silence he finally clacked away at his noisy machine.
"Twenty four sixty."
I shoved out the prepared bills. It wasn't exact and I regretted that as soon as he started to take his time with the change.
"So what can they do?" He gestured a hand that could be sorting my payment at Shadow.
"I don't really want to talk about that, please."
"Oh." That one word got sprinkled thick with an almost offended annoyance. Like I shouldn't have been able to just decline his curiosity.
I grabbed my change and sighed. "You're two dollars short. I gave you two twenties."
And he was the one to grumble. Just- do some proper math. What, do you want me to walk off and leave you extra cash instead of pointing out a mistake?
From how he took his time and rang up the machine with excess force, yes. He did.
When we finally got away from him Madison was between awe and exhausted disgust. "He's going to be such a pain if we go to him for any other purchase."
"Yeah, I don't doubt that for a second. Let me see how these things do. Hopefully it's all good and we can get the fuck out of here."
It was, in fact, sorta good? Better than anything I'd tried was something to praise.
Getting the nuts stored right just took patient finagling. Those darling jumbo jewels were too easily pinched or torqued. The real struggle was donning the shorts around this fat ass. Huge wealths of fatty cheek were all nice fun to draw or hold, but to dressing?
I had to jump- a lot- to convince this fabric over the crest of my ass with each adjustment. And I couldn't go up a size because when this thing was finally on it was loose around the waist and had to be rolled tight.
But I managed to find a comfortable enough wear. A large cantaloupe's worth of meaty sperm production equipment was distending my shorts to the point of near discomfort. But it was working. That was good.
Mostly good, anyway. This elastic wasn't going to last. But anything better would take some serious custom work or a lot of shopping.
With my junk cradled each step could swing further without kicking a nut. Thighs were still shifting stuff with every step, that was inescapable, but it was comfortable shifting. The only negative was this held the package more firmly and forward. I had to play into my kangaroo pouch with both hands to have any illusion of flying under the radar.
Damn was this ass fat. All the tucks and turns were being gripped into peak form. Despite this black fabric not really catching light the way I preferred it was still supremely visually interesting.
After wasting some time familiarizing myself with myself, I hastily yanked my clothes back on.
Madison was fidgeting outside, phone vanishing into her pocket. She held out a questioning thumbs up. Enthusiasm was a bit much, but I gave a thumbs up readily enough. This body could be comfortable, but that meant making peace with being highly aware of my sensitive jewels at all times.
I'd sooner be able to put my senses out of mind.
"It's as good as I can get, I think. Unless I somehow find a specialist tailor to convert these things. Which I can't afford anytime soon."
There was a shadow that was twice as dark as it used to be. Nothing like losing your entire cluster of friends and family and savings to redouble the pressure of living expenses.
Four thousand a month was a chunk but it wasn't a lot. If I wasn't already getting set up with a prepaid apartment I'd be fucked on getting so many things. Appliances, clothes, utensils and furnishings. Emergency funds and transportation.
Today I could get some bootleg undies and a few outfits. That would have to last me for months until I had better income from the slow art crawl to getting a paying following.
"I do some custom cosplay stuff, if you want me to give it a shot?"
"What? You do?"
"Yeah!" Madison leapt on the spot and snatched her phone back out. "See?"
A distinctly not-bunny girl with familiar hair had snapped hundreds of photos of various familiar anime getups and unfamiliar hero costumes. Her framing was pretty good, finding the dynamic diagonal forms to center focal points. But her lighting options were clearly limited to wherever she could wedge her desk lamp and some assorted household mirrors. She had a whole wall cleared off, with a white backdrop to block out the faded pink paint.
If I remembered too much about Naruto, and I do, the flak jackets covered a bit more than that.
"That's pretty impressive," and it was. I was hardly an eye for sewing but things were hugging and flattering. Way better than some Party City Sexy Dentist shit. She had nuanced patterning and everything. Instead of replicating she extrapolated upon the designs to take them beyond the constraints of the original medium.
"Thanks! I made all of it!" She was vibrating in place. "And more! But- that's not really public ready yet." She coughed. "I know my stuff, is what I mean. And maybe we could try and work something better out, if this doesn't work? No pressure or anything. I can even adjust the fit! Make whatever you buy more comfortable. If you want, I mean."
Another thing to consider. Frustration was a frustrating immediate reaction to have. One I swallowed with shame.
This was a good thing. If I could chance it. And had the money.
"Thanks for the offer. I dunno when I'll have the spare cash but-"
"I'll do it for free! It's a pretty interesting challenge, y-you know."
That gave me more pause. People should be paid for their work. But I could ease that onto her when we got there. Crossing every bridge as soon as it arrived would drain me. Just as leaving it uncrossed would stress me out.
"We'll talk about it when we get there, I guess. Your work looks good so maybe we could try something soon."
This was a lucky break, of sorts. Or could be. I didn't get the bad vibes from Madison, though she did keep staring at my ears and other places. Maybe she was just overly friendly, like I was overly shy of new things. Ugh.
We got some more of the right size and make and waited out of sight for a different cashier to get back.
Outside Victoria was getting some food for that tween. Food that was being consumed with ravenous gusto. The joyous side of hyper sensitivity. Who knows how that would last once car traffic picked back up. I was dreading it myself. Sound proofing my bedroom might be a genuine concern. Or just finding really good ear plugs, though that could backfire if I needed to hear an emergency alert or something.
We walked back to the tiny black splotch on the strip mall.
"So, still feeling going team goth?"
"I guess. I didn't really have anything in mind. You know, style wise." My whole plan was to just grab stuff that was cozy. Sweat pants would have been nice, though I'd have to roll the legs up like ten times.
Madison stumbled for a moment at that admission but she regained her smile.
"Fashions not for everyone," she said without really sounding like she quite believed it. "Do you prefer more comfy wear?"
"I do spend a lot of time indoors, when left to my own devices, so sorta. Big baggy p-jays are the privilege of working from home. But I already have that base covered well enough thanks to the PRT's out of market surplus merch." I had a dozen large Halloween tees that fell to my knees. "Outdoors is what I need. And I guess I could try on a look or two."
That last admission came with some effort. Yanking a few things off the rack and bingeing my phone was tempting my exhausted mind persuasively. But Madison was providing enthusiasm and a part of me didn't want to just shut that down. She seemed rather lonely herself.
Madisons great sigh released a staggering amount of relief. "Oh this is great! I could never pull off a scene look. Let's go!"
"You could use some chains."
This changing roomed was cramped as hell.
How Sam the goth gal cashier got involved had been hazed over by a barrage of top swaps and accessorizing. My belly had been exposed or covered, or peeked out of slant cuts. My collar bones bare or meshed. I'd seen a lot of my skin, whenever it wasn't masked beneath the frump of ill sized garmants.
Some things were straight out. Jeans. Gloves. Form fitting leg wear. Any shirt long enough to be normal for a woman just became a dress for me.
"How about eyeliner? She could pull off some crazy eye shadow too!"
"Girls, I am on a budget." This barrage was so fast I had no idea what to feel about half the stuff that came my way. I liked plenty of it, but, really? No matter how much I enjoyed the gleam and jingle of a dozen chains cascading down my torso, these fuckers had ten dollar price tags. Each. I shot down the skull choker for the same reason. The clasp was as big as my palm. I don't care how oddly nice the snug fit is. It was eighty dollars!
Someone had to put their foot down.
"Whoa."
Sam's dead pan was entirely unphased.
"You were born for this."
I literally wasn't, but that wasn't her point either.
I leaned against the wall of the changing room, away from the mirror because I wasn't an animal, and sighed.
"Come on, you look amazing!"
"How I look isn't the problem," I groused. "But, I guess I look pretty cool."
I wasn't about to dommy mommy anyone, but my resting bitch face and natural pale colors were brought to a richer hue next to that potent black. Stark and fetching. Skirts weren't so bad. I stopped rolling my hips to watch the fabric shift when what slumbered beneath caught a pleat in too telling a way.
I had an audience. But it was still damn hard not to smile a bit in the mirror in spite of it all.
I should have spent more time shopping in my old life. Oh well.
If I lit up, magic at the ready, I'd be a literal smoke show.
I intercepted the celebration of the makeover with some hard facts.
"I can only afford a couple of outfits IF we don't break the bank on a rap artist's worth of meal accessories. And I have no idea how to do eye shadow or any of that stuff so it's out too."
"Nooo!" For all of Madison's theatrics Sam's quiet forlorn gaze was equally dismayed. "I'll pitch in some. You have to be as dark as possible!"
Sam had wrung her up at the counter before I could figure how to explain I didn't know how I'd feel about stuff near my eyes without encouraging experimentation that would put stuff near my eyes. Couldn't an absent rub or rain get that shit in my eye? The idea made me uneasy. In that dreading new things kinda way.
But Madison already had the box in the shopping bag.
My two best outfits were purchased, one bagged and one clipped and worn, shortly after. With half of the chains included with a sudden discount Sam 'remembered.'
Was this a success? On paper, yes.
But I just felt tired knowing the makeover was going to continue onto the horizon. People needed a chance to recharge with a clear schedule before new commitments. It was on the ten commandments, probably. Got lost with the original fifteen.
I jingled janglely down the stairs outside. Every step with my new boots clonked.
My old clothes were bagged up and dangling from a hand, as well as my other purchases.
And Madison finally noticed only once we were outside. "Is it the makeup? Was it too much?"
I shook my head.
"Sort of. I don't know what I feel about it. New things make me anxious and today was a lot of new. Mostly in a good way but I'm still tired."
Madison wilted, hands fussed and ears bowed. I couldn't stay quiet.
"We'll give it a shot. It's not a big deal. But for any future shopping we need to talk things through."
"Yeah!" Her rebound was less immediate. "And sorry. I got away from myself. This is the first time I've been able to really steer a shopping trip in ages but I should have reigned myself in. You do at least like the look?"
"It's good. If a bit far from what I'm used to."
Crazy far.
A skirt.
The contour obscuring layers of black cotton pleats swished just above my knees and while the yoga shorts kept me from feeling more exposed, it was still skin tinglingly new. The poof of its multiple layers covered my bulge just so, too. So long as no one looked too closely. A spikey belt and sleeveless black top pulled everything together. And those spikes are what a lot of my chains dangled from.
The top was a bit loose. It was a crop top, but my upper torso was compact enough that only a faint sliver of belly showed. If I was viewed from eye level. From a human height no one could see anything.
And a bra. The smallest they had with extra padding, cinched to its smallest bind. Otherwise I had super obvious high beams. The joys of colorful big areola that started round and jutted further as they pleased.
No matter how bitchin' Sam considered my nips towering through my shirt, that had been mortifying. I'd mastered latching this skull splattered contraption on the spot to avoid ever flashing anyone again.
My body felt like one walking spring trap, ready to erect itself into trouble without cause. But I just kept telling myself no clothes were going to keep a raging stallion secret.
Preemptive action would have to do and so far it was.
Now if only I could get that possibility out of my mind each time someone did a double take my way.
Doubts were immediate. As was my frustration.
These feelings were stupid.
I felt good about this and people were going to be creeps no matter what. I wasn't going to let this glow up be fouled by the inevitable. I could have this much.
Or was it more of a gloom up?
Whatever. These shining black pu leather studded boots might be strapped for a child's size and have been an expensive indulgence, but I needed dependable foot wear and a fifty was the one weakness I'd allow myself. I'd skipped gloves because of size issues. Accessories because of size issues. These bracelets only worked because they were magnetically adjustable! So buying a pair of shoes that fit was fine!
The extra inch of height was empowering as fuck. And a bit loose. I bent over to re-lace them.
My new socks were also comfy, and necessary to keep the fit of my boots. My feet were still inconveniently small.
When I leaned back up I noticed Madison standing behind me. And some dad bod waddling off looking red and avoiding my eyes.
Madison shot me a look of utmost concern and humored disbelief.
"Girl, you need to be more careful about how you lean when skirted up. You got kinda close to flashing that guy."
I gave a pathetic 'eep' of dismayed shame.
We retreated to the hot dog stand to recuperate.
These were just growing pains. I wasn't going to give up my swishy skirt because of user error.
"I can see why you really worry about making the dollars stretch. Damn. I'm genuinely envious."
Some green worked back into my cheeks, but my third dog was more important than informing on the obvious. Hardly the way I wanted to impress someone.
When it was concluded I eased back onto the bench, firmly ignoring loitering crowd taking in the befurred people hogging the nearby food joints. Meanwhile, the hotdog stand guy I'd gotten my dogs from was doing a bang up job and many were preferring his laid back company to fighting lines in McDonalds.
"So, what kinda stuff do you do?"
I kicked my booted feet a bit.
"I uh, do art. You know, internet commissions."
"Really? What kinda commissions? Like stream emotes? Fan art?"
"Sort of. More like drawing people's game characters and such." I wasn't going to just outright say it. Doubly not in public. But this wasn't really lying either. Ask a final fantasy player with a mod beast how many times they had their character drawn spreading cheeks or domming dames. And that didn't even get into the sugar daddies of the furry market. "It'll take a bit to get my name around again, especially without any of my work on hand-" and that panged my heart just to say "-so I'm trying to pinch pennies. Just necessities. Until I can get things moving."
Even then stuff was going to be tight. Art was a close thing for return to time investment. And my work was only so-so. My strengths few and cock-centric.
But the market should be there.
"Do you need some help advertising? I have a modest twitter following for my cosplay stuff-"
My hear t skipped a beat. In one gesture of good will my circling the bush had been obliterated.
"Uh-my art is, sort of, kind of- I appreciate the offer but I'll try and get some networking with people closer to my target audience. I don't draw anime characters, really."
There, she shouldn't suspect a thing.
"I guess if you're sure… Just ask, okay? With that appetite I'm starting to worry for you."
And she did seem genuinely concerned. Ugh. This is why the topic is just so prickly!
"I'll be fi-"
We leapt. Then the air cracked, faint but an unmistakable pop. Not nearly as loud as a a transformer going but something electrical just got fried. Not near but everyone heard it.
My ears pulled my head around to the threat.
A cacophony of howls and screeching broke across the parking lot. PRT whistles blew and made the noise worse. Store doors popped open as customers, typical and thirty-twos alike, fled from confined spaces.
Victoria ran past, giving us a relieved look.
"Good, you two are okay!"
The tween thirty-two with her had her ears held flat, face in a pained grimace.
"Rally! Rally here, now!" Barked the sternest and most color dashed of the black armored troopers.
The original sound was distant. Multiple blocks. A second triangulated it further.
Madison grabbed at my hand and pulled me towards the troops. A near stampede of furred bodies and glimmering scales pressed towards the security of vigilant troopers.
Victoria got her frantic charge to the troopers, then took air and shot off towards where the noise had originated.
That introduced a new worry to my thundering heart, each beat now pained.
"Gather tight! Don't Stray! We are going to evacuate as soon as all are accounted for. Vans are enroute already."
Already? In moments? They must have been on standby or something. Prepared for expected emergencies.
My soul pool was thrumming, ready beneath my will. A moment could see me light up and shield up. But it would only be enough to protect me. I could maybe do something with Shadow…
My senses were on swivel. Ears twisted. Eyes swept. No new stink hit my nostrils. And I wasn't the only one leaning on animal advantage. Others too.
Madison was high on her feet, rigid and tail raised.
Nothing emerged.
A second noise fuzzed into a bursting pop, even more distant than the first. Then, faint to my ears, metal was torn with a shriek.
It was all streets away.
That commanding trooper raised a hand to his helm. His mic fuzzed to life when he lowered it. "Alright, we have a minor skirmish a few blocks out. Nothing that will come this way before we get out of here. Sit tight and ensure everyone is here."
A few of the volunteers did just that. Including Madison. Her back receded and despite the almost press of so many others. I felt alone.
I followed. With every other step I glanced where Victoria had flown off. Checking streets and roofs.
Had that been her to report in? Was she engaged with some violent parahuman? That possibility refused to be shaken from my mind.
Some Troopers were shifting their tube guns for a side device. Something dark and yet distinctly not a firearm.
"Amanda, are you missing anyone?"
"A couple, they were in McDonalds-"
The snake woman and a PRT minder emerged from that building. The scaled woman was moving slowly for how frantic she was. As if it were all the speed she could muster.
She wasn't alone. As Madison and the others convened, I could hear it. The worries, the possible names of who could be causing harm. A dozen halting conversations as the locals tried to figure out what villain was near.
They had ribs and shoulders and heads above me. A sea of bodies.
I took what space I could without sticking my neck from the herd. I reasoned that the Troops would be doing more if there was an eminent threat. But I kept my eyes peeled, wanting to know before anything could surprise us.
Nothing showed.
One breath of the many was deep and slow.
A wolf woman, different from the one on the walk here. Sleeker. Darker. Taller. She towered over me at this close proximity.
Piercing eyes flicked to me for a moment, then away scanning the horizon.
"Hng." A guttural noise, one she curdled at making. I tried not to flinch away. Many of the thirty-twos had intense features, the eyes most of all. Knowing I shouldn't let those features influence me was different than fighting off how my monkey brain read them.
Or kitty brain now. I guess? Out of everyone my traits were too fantastical to place.
Not important right now.
Her eyes glanced down.
"New clothes. At least someone enjoyed this trip. In spite of everything."
A car squealed around a distant corner. The screech of brakes too much for any of us to endure. PRT troops shifted, as if whatever came out of their nozzles could handle a vehicular attack.
Wolf lady glared furiously in the retreating vehicles direction, visibly pained. "The world was not built for these ears."
I blinked.
"What's your name?" I was rather tired of referring to people as just another case thirty-two.
She turned. "Susie Tsuyomi,"
"Erika Smith." I gave a brief smile, as much of one as my anxiety could manage.
Susie regarded me for a moment. "It's likely some small timer. If it was a big threat, we would still be hear them. Crashing metal for Hookwolf. Beams we could see and burning buildings if it was Purity. The PRT is being over cautious."
"Better than under cautious." I was still raking the skyline, expecting some masked ne'er-do-well to cackle his way onto the scene.
If the PRT was going to be paranoid at all turns they could at least make sure to point that affliction at criminals.
"You seem cut from the same cloth, coiled to strike."
What??
I reeled back from her, aghast.
"You think otherwise?" Amusement was seeping through her discomfort.
"Yes! I can shield stuff. Barely. I'm prepared to throw up a spell to not get shot or something by some lunatic." I fought my voice down with every word.
Coiled to strike? I was shaking in my boots!
Susie stared. Recalculating. "You've adapted to everything else so well. Capes and life or death battle just seemed the next thing you'd take in stride."
Again I was left paused. Where had she gotten any of those ideas? We hadn't even spoken before.
I shook my head, building up speed. "No, no I am not running over to whatever is going on. I'm nowhere near ready for anything cape and I hope I'll never have to deal with it."
We sank back into silence. Uncomfortable silence, at least for me. Susie had a look of pleasant curiosity on her face. She clearly felt whatever was going on wouldn't arrive here.
"Bias has snuck up on me again. I apologize."
She gave a little bow that only made the awkwardness worse. I waved my hands erratically. "It's not a huge deal. Don't worry about it."
"You have adjusted well to everything else but I should have considered that would not be for everything."
"Out of necessity, mostly. It's not like I can go home today."
"The necessity of a makeover?"
"Yeah." I had no better answer for that.
Susie continued on flummoxed. "I can still see myself beneath these unwanted changes, yet you are focused on the larger picture, already used to vastly more changes than I am struggling with."
"We're different people," I supplied reluctantly. There was this undercurrent I knew she wasn't asking for but I felt it; the desire to provide an answer. But there was none. I just didn't mind my body changing this way. I had no quick tip that would allow others to move on.
Nothing that deserved this pedestal she was putting me on.
Susie just raised a brow. "Not many people would be so gathered. Though maybe some would have liked to be in your shoes this morning, at least before the need to clean."
My soul drained from my body as my face was replaced by the surface of the sun. My hammering heart doing nothing to avert the sudden shriveling wilt throughout my crowded shorts. The tortoise was trying to flee.
I was left petrified for an eternity. Hope that I'd escape that catastrophe without confrontation evaporated.
"No judgment intended. I suppose I am just stuck in a condition where I compare how I am adjusting to how others are. You've become a bit of the gold standard. Where others struggle to find the will to indulge you charged right in. Repeatedly."
So many keen ears were here. None of this was escaping their notice.
And Susie was just calmly blathering on. Was it that she didn't care? Or had everyone noticed my morning event already? No she'd worded things ambiguously. But if people already knew then that meant nothing…
In either case I couldn't move out of the PRT HQ soon enough.
Oh, I still had to say something.
"That's probably just a trigger power thing. Or just me. "
"I choose to not think so." Susie yawned through a sudden impulsive snarl. "If I must keep these modifications then I'd want to do so as you do. To live as you have. To find the joy in it."
I regarded her with a flat gaze.
"Lady, I'm barely holding together. I could be forced into spandex spectacles or go bankrupt at any moment-"
"But at least you are at comfort with yourself. When I ask who will be doing the best weeks from now, I first think of you."
I fumbled for something to say.
"Thanks? I don't really have advice. Fixating on what I can control helps, maybe. It's just me prioritizing."
"I too try to prioritize. But I've already been rude enough."
I grumbled indistinctly.
"I do find you inspiring. Or perhaps that is also unfair pressure to put on you. Some of us are having a party tonight, to try and find the joy in our conditions. You're welcome to show up." Oh yeah, Samantha the bear lady had mentioned that earlier. I'd forgotten.
Susie turned to move further away, only she glanced back. "And ribbons might suit you, if you are thinking of accessories."
I was going to be rolling the last minutes around my noggin all day.
I waved as politely I could manage as Susie moved off to speak to someone else.
Madison caught my eye. All heat fled from my blood.
How much of that had she heard?
"Thinking of going? Could be a good way to meet some people. Sharing problems with others helped me a lot."
Fundamentally, yes. I needed to socialize to rebuild some stability.
Counterpoint, I felt exhausted as hell.
"Maybe."
I really should. Not everyone was going to be that intense. No one else there, probably.
Victoria returned as the vans arrived. Apparently it had been two tinkers and the only casualties some machines and fried circuits.
"And he got really snappy with me too. For punching out tinker tech shocking some poor kid."
I pulled a face, holding onto my bucket seat and keeping my thighs as closed as possible, which wasn't much. The sperm banks needed their space. This skirt was making me a bit anxious about how I sat but after a half dozens glances I felt relatively sure my goods were covered properly.
"He got pissed you saved someone?" There couldn't be anything good going on there.
"Maybe he was trying to gain some prestige? Titan's only just gotten started and the idiot picked a name that builds lofty expectations." Madison visibly mused further but didn't voice her thoughts.
Victoria stressed something else.
"Independents need to cooperate with any cape they can. That he didn't is bad enough for his own safety. But getting pissy over someone stepping in to help with actual people on the line? That's not a good sign. I don't care how much he wanted to reverse engineer the other guy's tech. if he's going to insist he's a hero then he has to rise to the title."
Madison nodded emphatically. Then turned rather circumspectly my way. "Erika, here."
A bag was pushed into my hand. The Not Topic's logo. The goth shop we'd been at.
I blinked, confused. "Do you need me to hold it for you?" Maybe she needed the hands spare? I hadn't noticed she'd bought something earlier.
"No, silly. It's for you! Think of it as a welcome to the dimension gift."
I blinked some more and dove in. Black tissue paper? They had that?
Inside was the skull choker. I picked it up slowly.
"I saw you liked it and you deserve something nice. So there." Madison beamed.
I didn't know what to say. First the make up but now something I actually wanted? We'd only just met and this wasn't something I'd had happened to me in years, yet- "I don't even know when I can pay you back."
"My birthday is in October," she responded immediately, then continued. "Oh, but you'll need to tell me yours too so I don't miss it, 'kay?"
I nodded, stupefied.
"Damn, you friend people kinda fast, huh Madison."
Victoria sounded, not suspicious? Something. Knowing? I was too busy swirling in my emotional confusion to place it. People were looking! We had a whole van full of thirty-twos and she couldn't wait to do this in private?
But the idea of being mad at her was worse! These were just my own dumb feelings hating being made a spectacle unprepared.
"If they need a friend then yes!" Madison said hastily. "Now try it on. You looked great in it!"
I pulled it on, notching the collar to its utmost minimal setting and still having a bit of breathing room. I fussed it a bit, using feel to make sure it was center. And pulled any caught hair from its grasp.
"See?"
"Well, no. I don't have a mirror." My voice was a bit wet. I blinked some more, because somehow this had hit me somewhere and my eyes were going to embarrass me further. I'd gotten gifts before just, not quite like this. At such a low point.
"We could do a picture- but maybe we'll wait a bit." Madison put her phone away after taking a look at me. She held her hands a bit when I didn't say anything.
Which was a clue that I should say something.
"Thanks. I mean it. I didn't really expect you to buy me something. Did you even get anything for yourself?" I kept talking mostly because a thanks didn't feel like enough. I needed to find something Madison liked.
Or just be ready to return the favor and then some. Gratitude didn't have to be an uncomfortable debt. Theoretically.
"I've got enough stuff. I wasn't planning to buy things today, really. But it just seemed like a good thing to do and that was proven right."
Madison was, well I'd gotten some looks from her. Things that went places I still had to think about. There were a lot of fears in me, ones that would emerge down the road at any given point. Today had been a good outing because of the herd defense. A herd that was formed for this singular field trip.
But Madison was also real. Someone who was putting me first instead of whatever thoughts she'd had when I'd shared my secret schlong.
I didn't know if I wanted to cross that line yet. I mean obviously with someone. Eventually. With all of its difficulties. There was a lot more to love and making love than just vaginal sex, was a cope I was leaning on every time I saw this meat column cock next to my hands.
But for now I felt like she was another person I could trust.
I smiled, one of the best I had in the last few days.
New stuff really wasn't so bad. A new look. A new friend.
For the rest of the ride I felt warm.
.Somehow being the only person in the back of a PRT van was still uncomfortable. Like if I looked at anything wrong I'd be responsible for its misuse.
Did they really use all of these gadgets?
I sought distraction. Marching my mutant kitty warriors out in Battle Cats filled the time. So many less kitties than I used to have but this was just a filler game to pass hours when arting it up wasn't a choice.
And fuck did I have a lot I wanted to draw. Who knew how much I'd stagnated without access to colors. Just scrap paper and no privacy had been stifling. I needed art.
All part of the day's plans, once I got through the one task I had for the rest of the day.
Well, two tasks. This apartment was going to be sparsely furnished and barely livable until I got it stocked.
I was antsy as hell about both of them. My first trip outdoors without a massive back up squad of distracting thirty-twos and PRT brutes who could be kept between me and problems.
I'd spent a lot of the last few days studying up on just how the Bay was doing and no amount of telling myself the average street gang banger was more afraid of me than I was of them was swaying my heart.
I got most of my Battle Cats energy spent by the time we slowed to a stop.
The back hatch got popped by my escort.
With bags in arms I slipped out of the Van's back carefully. I wasn't about to jump almost half of my height onto pavement with a laptop.
I took in my new home.
Balconies coated the building, which was kinda neat. They extended all the way around as a solid concrete slab divided up by walls for each apartment and floor. Kinda like a stack of pancakes.
A single officer escorted me inside. In addition to my borrowed laptop I only had my phone and a couple large paper bags of clothes and freebie soaps. Which he didn't offer to carry. Typical.
Getting checked by a gate before even getting on property was a bit of a relief. We were also just a few minutes from the PRT HQ. Always good in an emergency, but some basic barriers from the outside was better.
This deep in downtown buildings were mostly fine, other than the path Leviathan had carved to some new lake. I'd only seen it online. But apparently some villain had made a decoy shelter there? And died horribly as consequence when Leviathan bit. The only shelter the beast had attacked. Some people were convinced it was a noble sacrifice but opinions were mixed. Really mixed. And PRT types were swimming all over the site in the pictures.
I had no horse in that race so who the fuck knew. Some twiggy looking snake guy had died and now there was a saltwater mini-lake in the middle of downtown.
This apartment building didn't seem upscale, which was a relief. The more some government agency was spending on my behalf the more they had to be expecting in return. Right now I could convince myself this was a well-meaning fund to keep homeless supers from going to desperate lengths.
After a week of being crowded, hustling into and out of any restroom or shower to avoid undo traffic in a bustling pseudo police mega bunker, I'd worry about the limited rent later.
The Wards were mostly nice but hadn't been around much, other than Victoria and Gallant. They'd been run ragged and were still burning the candle from both ends, from what I'd seen. Even the two lovebirds were constantly out, either keeping streets safe or assisting in some other way for the still recuperating Tinker.
Couldn't be me, I needed my eight hours. And man was it good to be out of that PRT building.
Now I had to deal with people and how they might see me. My original problem, from all the way back in the alley.
I'd have to sort exceptions from the herd and the herd would know I was a Parahuman. I couldn't pretend being an especially exotic thirty-two either, thanks to Shadow. They were going to know at all times.
How exhausting. But at least I had some stability to take that on from.
Some tenant was getting her mail from the wall of mailboxes after a second gate was cleared. She stared.
I should wave, be friendly to the neighbors. All I managed was that tight 'oh a person' smile and a raised hand like that crusader from Indiana Jones.
She didn't wave back. Just stared, face pinched with concern.
Now I felt like getting buried alive, too.
I shuffled on as quickly as possible without getting ahead of my escort, who had to have seen that.
Well, I'd never talk to him again. Probably. Out of sight, out of mind. Not every neighbor was going to be quick on the uptake. Some should be cool.
Some would probably be annoying. Or worse.
Those pencil pushers at the PRT told me this place was verified as a reliable housing center. Part of their long term visitor stay options whenever some rotating staff needed room and board. So stuff should be secure.
They even had a half dozen on site washing machines, with half as many driers.
The stairwells didn't smell of moisture. That's nice. A week had not yet gotten me used to doing steps one at a time. Old habits die hard but they would, by necessity.
The place was clean, out of place with the disorder outside. A lucky building entirely unscathed.
My apartment was on the third floor, unit 342.
It was spacious. Or rather, I was small. By apartment standards this seemed good? Three whole rooms and a bathroom? Pretty crazy. It could be a studio postage box and I'd be positive.
My escort caught my eye and started listing off various things I already knew. Agreements I'd signed. That unsanctioned exchange with villain capes would require review with risk of voiding my housing or worse. Scary sounding stuff, for someone else who planned to leave the indoors for more than groceries.
After some parting reminders for my next appointments at the PRT HQ, and some unnecessary reminders on the dangers of Villain capes and the dangers of confronting them, I was left to my own devices. Arms full and key in hand.
Man, all of it was finally done. I indulged in a hefty sigh.
My bags were left on the tiny kitchen counter top. Enough space for two cutting boards and a microwave between the sink and fridge. Workable.
I threw my packaged sheets onto the mattress in the small bedroom. More PRT surplus, ugly but better than nothing. The Ikea grade desk would fit a laptop and the Intuos. The Intuos five was about yay big so I had some room spare. I'd need a keyboard and mouse. Fuck track pads. But at least I had a computer of some kind. One offhand remark to Victoria at breakfast had spiraled into this loaner.
That chair would also have to go. Wood seats just were no good. But the money to do anything about it was weeks or months away. Unless I spent more of my limited funds, which I shouldn't.
I'd get a cushion. A big one. A cheap temporary solution.
I scampered from there to check the most critical room. The bathroom.
No tub, just a shower without a curtain. And it was rather cramped. If not for my size I doubt a normal person could stretch their arms out all the way in here. They'd smack a hand into the shower's door. The glass door. Someone else would consider that fancy but it made me apprehensive.
Or maybe it was a good thing? I'd have an easier time cleaning that surface than a curtain. Just some scrubbing instead of unhooking the whole thing down to the washing machines we'd passed on the way in.
The lack of privacy screen next to the only toilet though…
Well, I didn't really plan on having guests much.
Somewhere to soak would have also been nice.
I checked the sink and shower head. Both had water, though that took a bit to warm. Probably thanks to the size of the building. Apparently most of downtown had only gotten back on full utilities last week.
The balcony was just latched, which reminded me to go double check my front door. I came back once I was sure it was chained and locked. I checked the kitchen in the way back.
A convection stove, nice. Less stink for my kitty nose to wrinkle at. And a modest fridge.
The balcony was roomie, for a little person like me. Couldn't touch both door and railing with hands outstretched. But this also wasn't the sun facing side. How dismal. The PRT HQ was visible though, a bunker of glass and concrete that squared a chunk of the skyline.
The door was a bit squeaky, too.
I stood. Tugged in multiple directions by possibilities. Overwhelmed by the potential to just live unbothered. My balls itched, somewhere deep in the scrotal folds.
But I was going to have to head out within the hour so I just nudged the big girls into a new position.
The most sterile couch I'd ever seen held firm beneath my weight. How uncomfortable. I tried this way or that. Everything was a bit too stiff. And it reeked of knockoff febreze.
I rolled off onto the floor. My chains clinked against the tiles. At least the cool was comfortable.
Splayed out beneath the stock photo coffee table I tugged my phone from my skirt. Some wiggling got the optimal amount of skin to tile contact.
My nads had shifted to be heavy on my crotch, but in a comfortable sort of way.
The hurdles and bothers were already emerging.
Laundry was going to be a pain with just two full outfits. And this couch sucked. But I also needed food. This laptop was going to chug on my usual drawing file size. I could really use a desktop.
But I had like two grand left in the stipend for any and all emergencies and necessities this month after today's potential expenditures.
I sighed and sighed some more. Then shoved Mt Nutsack to keep it from pinching. Gonads bigger than stress balls was something. And way bigger than these tiny fists. I wobbled them around some and just didn't think about anything. Only how my skin flexed and tugged and some hand exercises.
There was just too much to worry about. Best to just focus on making do.
And that meant getting my tablet so I could start digging my way out of being a tax dependent. I had to start posting soon. My art wasn't amazing so building an audience who liked my niche was going to be a work of years.
I'd be highly dependent on a small crop of commissioners for the foreseeable future.
Worse comes to worse I could hint I was a lady lewd artist and get a signal boost that way. That was playing with fire. Fielding a constant flood of invasive DMs trying to cyber or get pics for just a bit more traffic sounded horrid. But it was an option. A last resort. Not that I was considering it.
Some artists were public divas who soaked up the attention. Some were cave creatures who emerged only for the time it took to post a new work then fled back into the depths.
I knew which I was.
I hauled my phone up and sent off my address to Madison.
We'd gotten to texting a bit. Mostly advice on the Bay and where useful institutions were, sprinkled with the lightest brush of her massive fashion passion. Her responding barrage of choice emotes and gifs made me feel like an out of touch senior. But the heart was legible enough. And she'd immediately offered to tag along when I mentioned I was planning a pick up and shopping trip a couple days ago.
Her coming along was a relief.
This apartment was barren and I had none of my old property so a thrift store run was in order. I doubt there would be much good. People had lost a lot to Leviathan's tides and more to weeks and weeks of chaos. Madison had one she knew of. And whatever absolute essentials couldn't be acquired there were going to need to be grabbed at full price. Stuff you shouldn't get used, like a toothbrush.
I had no plates or utensils. No pots or pans. Those were big necessities. My appetite was clearly huge now. Enough for three adults or almost an Olympic high intensity athlete. I had to be burning nearly ten thousand calories a day.
So, before leaving the PRT I'd gorged a bit. Okay, a lot. One last serenade for the free food. I'd eaten enough I'd loosened my belt, feeding spikes through belt loops to get some slack.
And already my stomach was getting a bit peckish.
This stipend was going to have to stretch for four weeks. And I refused to consider my outfits a waste. The gains in emotional wellness were worth it. But my food bills we're going to be a huge fraction of it.
I'd need to find affordable everything, and fast.
Having a wing girl would help, even though my nerves were still ticking away. Madison was kind enough to tag along. Victoria would have been more safety but she was swamped directly helping people. I couldn't really stomach the idea of derailing a hero like that, even if I didn't fully understand why all of these cape things were happening instead of systemic solutions.
The PRT didn't seem to be making a killing so maybe someone else was making money off of this.
I could also just use my power to meld into shadows and go unbothered. But it was sunny and the morning. Not a lot of shadow to go around. Finding out that I could mask my presence was a relief, really. But not only did it not extend to other people but it was dependent on time of day too. Or quality of shadow. A well lit room with a stark cast shadow? I could wave my dick in front of one of those lab techs and unless they were actively looking for me with some concentration they'd take forever to notice.
Not that I'd done that. Who did that? Some fucky freak is who would do that.
Reasonable people like me just used their sneaky power to get to their designated cum toilet with a bit more confidence their boner wouldn't be seen.
But those harrowing days were passed. And testing had been normal. I showed up on film, as did my power, but once someone knew I was in a photo I was pretty easy to spot with enough staring. Like Where's Waldo.
I flicked my feet some and scratched my belly. I took in every wrinkle on the flat plaster ceiling.
The freedom was taking a bit to sink in but it was finally real. And all I needed was my art tablet to indulge. Finally. The laptop even came with photoshop cs5. A lucky add, since I wasn't about to drop fuck you money on adobe products. Or pirate shit onto a government laptop.
Future plans. Right now, an art tablet. My biggest priority of the day.
Not some ipad but a dedicated pc peripheral. Going new was no good. Wacom charged an arm and a leg. The products were actually good and dependable in this year but well out of my price range. And Brockton Bay's tech scarcity was not recuperating evenly. Necessities like pcs? Those were restocking steadily but anyone with means was looking to replace theirs so the competition was fierce. Everything was gone despite scalpers being ostrasized. Televisions, radios, useful things? All getting stocked and bought as people migrated back into the downtown area that hadn't collapsed.
Art tablets? No. Not at all. Deliveries? That was a no, too. And hella expensive.
If I wanted anything tech within a month's time I'd have to source it from the Bay area, somehow.
So I'd gone online for local trades and found myself a little gem.
Hopefully.
The seller claimed he was out of town and came back since the Leviathan recovery was doing well and catch up classes had begun in the local public schools. He wanted to do the sale at the Boardwalk, a tourist hotspot.
That didn't help the nerves but the photos were legit. Put his name on it and the date. An Intuous 4 all for the taking and in great shape too. Barely touched.
A great find and I'd put myself in line to buy it before anyone else who had their art setup Shatterbirded could slip in ahead of me.
What was a bit more time around the public in exchange for the core engine to my future art? I could relate to wanting some witnesses for any exchange in these times, even if it felt weird to get involved in that personally.
I'd already done my homework on the current lay of the Bay. The Boardwalk was close enough to the PRT HQ that no gang was contesting it. And more importantly there'd been no throw downs in the vicinity for weeks, not since the hell times before and after the Nine got trounced. Shops were reopening. Tourists were already back in town.
For some reason, the fucking maniacs.
Did they want to see the local nightmares? Murder Dogs? Rampaging Nazis who'd slipped the leash of politically convenient feigned reason? Or perhaps the bug woman who could reenact my nightmares from those mummy movies? Or any of the dozen recently formed mini gangs orbiting the drug gang, trying to buck themselves to the top of the ladder with chest thumping and scare tactics that some local news sites helpfully published.
Earth Bet apparently had a bit of a cape tourism thing and Brockton Bay had only become more of a throw down hotspot after Leviathan. Youtube was full of their endless amateur clips and professional streamers angling the best digital cameras they could at whoever was slinging powers.
And they'd be bumping around the city all the time. Looking for powers. Like a living Shadow that haunted my every step.
I sagged into the floor.
Any potential interest in me should die off once it became obvious I wasn't about that cape life.
Eventually.
For today I'd prepared to make full use of Shadow's rapid mobility. That much was practically instinct so I was feeling confident I could get out of dodge in no time.
Shadow was stupid fast.
But still, the nerves persisted. Having a plan didn't mean wanting to use it, even if the most of what I'd be avoiding was some twat's cellphone camera.
When I went to download Granblue Fantasy and sink into some more nostalgia I blinked.
I'd need to use the building wifi. It took a moment to find the slip with the password.
I was halfway through the intro when Madison texted me again. I responded with my room number then my door got buzzed. A camera pad was there at a height I was a head to short to see into. While I grumbled I accepted the call.
The camera might be fuzzy but those bunny ears were unmistakable.
"That you, Erika?"
"Yup. I'll buzz you in."
"Woah, your voice echo thing sounds weird over this thing."
"Huh. I kinda forgot about that."
Which was a bit strange, considering how obvious it was. Was I just that distracted by everything else going on? Or had I been avoiding talking to people and not hearing myself speak? Probably a mix of both. If I hadn't just talked and still not realized it.
It wasn't like my voice was a medical concern.
"See you in a sec!"
I'd neaten up a bit, but I had little to put away and it could only be done later.
Everything did have a residual chemical odor, so the landlord (ugh) must have had someone through. A building this big had to have staff, right? There were like two hundred apartments across five floors.
I'd add cleaning supplies to the list. Even ignoring the regular dick milking on my schedule I'd rather fix my messes myself.
A few minutes later my door was knocked. A quick check out the peephole and I unlocked the door. Shadow set me back down, none the wiser, before I let Madison in.
Madison was in another fluffy outfit, one that was more flattering yet again rich with ribbons and ruffles. She had a bag along with a textile pink purse.
"Welcome to my new home, I guess." I stopped myself from saying lair or bat cave or whatever. "I haven't had a chance to set up yet."
Madison bloomed a bit brighter on seeing me. Maybe she was just that jazzed to not be the shortest woman in a room. That could actually be a bit of it. She just seemed enthusiastic all of the time.
"Look at all of that space! I was worried they'd shove you into a postage box."
"I'd make more use of it than most, but yeah, this is better than I hoped for."
I nodded a bit, slowing down as she looked at me expectantly. I wet my lips. "Uh, you want a tour?"
"Sure." She beamed, like my entirely impersonalized apartment was a treasure trove of curiosities.
I envied that enthusiasm. Might have been easier to crawl out of bed this morning with that kind of energy.
She groaned in the bathroom. Fears of sneaky water damage or cracked tiles were brief. "You're not gonna use that cruddy shampoo! I'll loan you some of my spare bottles."
"Oh, I couldn't repay-"
"Don't worry about it. We buy in bulk anyway. We can swing by my house on the way back and grab some."
"Oh, sure."
Another new time commitment so suddenly. How uncomfortable.
But, I should try and shake that conception. Kindness like this felt heavy upon me, yet wasn't this a form of bond?
She kept eye contact the whole time, how outgoing.
"And this is the bed." Whose hero merch sheets I had yet to put on. "I'm still putting together a shopping list I'll probably need to go for some assorted utensils. And other cleaning supplies."
There was a lot I couldn't just pinch from the PRT for free. Like anything that had actually sold out. Or goofy-ass novelty sporks.
Madison leaned on a wall while I checked the closet with the flashlight on my phone. There was a spider web. Little guy didn't look like he'd had much to eat. And that he got missed made the landlord's cleaning sweep suspect.
Also there was no vacuum cleaner. Now that I thought about it. Another item on the scroll of necessities.
"Did you do a camera check?"
I slowed on the way out of the bedroom. "No…"
That was a very real concern to have. How had I not thought of it at all? The landlord could be a creep. Or worse.
I winced. I'd been that close to giving my balls some open air time. "I kind of assumed the PRT did."
They were renting the place for me. That should be an immediate concern for a parahuman police force, right?
Madison's concerned frown deepened. "Maybe they would normally. But I've been volunteering my time since I got thirty-two'd and they're still swamped. I wouldn't count on it. I have a scanner on me. Oh! And your house warming present!"
A what?
Cutlery. Inside the bag was an entire arrangement of knives in a standing holder.
"Madison-" I breathed, voice light "This is a lot to just give to someone."
Between the chains, the makeup, and now this. I was feeling more than a bit overwhelmed.
Her confidence wavered, a tint of pink to her round cheeks. "It is? U-uh, I mean. I can look for something less extreme- It's an older set we kind of just had laying around."