Lu Xiaoyun, eyes red, nodded: "Yes, cousin, you're right. I have nothing, I've never contributed anything of value or strength. I even just waste money and cause trouble. I've never done anything for the Lu Family, the Qin Family, or even for my parents or siblings. I'm indeed a mess, so what the servants said earlier was correct.
I don't deserve to enjoy such a good life, and I'm not worthy of it. I'm neither kind nor gentle, not even rational, and I treat others as if they're less than human. So I've understood something recently—I'm not good enough. It's not just about lacking kindness; I have poor character, not even deserving to be called a human being. So I've come to realize, I want to change.
I want to become a person, someone who, when mentioned, won't evoke disgust or the urge to retch—unlike my second brother and my mother, who refuse to change even when facing disaster.
