Jun took Xavi to the training room to meet Daeho and Seth that night. After listening to the two sing, Jun spent a while thinking about his part. Ultimately, they separated after rehearsing an incomplete song, frustrated and worried.
The lyrics they were trying to write were, of course, unfinished. Jun consulted almost everyone, but only Sujin managed to offer meaningful advice.
"First, focus on the topic," he said. "What do you want to express?" That was obvious. Then, write after deciding on the beat and flow.
The song was about the struggles of an adult in the real world.
The narration described a reality where most working people had to wake up early, go to work, repeat mundane tasks, smile at colleagues, brag about their romantic partners or gifts received, and socialize after work through drinking or eating sessions.
It didn't matter whether they liked the routine or not. They would have headaches but still insist on drinking coffee to continue their never-ending tasks. These same people would talk about resigning the next day, yet immediately forget once they saw the faces of family members at home relying on their salary. This was the life featured in the song.
"Uhm. Since we're not idols yet, we could talk about the struggles of a trainee in our rap instead," Xavi suggested.
Jun hesitated but nodded. Yet his hand refused to move when he tried to write the first bar. Meanwhile, Xavi had already scribbled a few words on his paper.
"If we change the meaning of the original song just to fit our circumstances, will viewers understand?" When the thought crossed his mind, a sigh involuntarily escaped his lips.
This was the sorrow of people covering songs they don't own. There were just so many things to consider, and they had to be wary of the opinions of the original creator and fans.
Jun stopped Xavi from writing. The boy was mostly scribbling in full English anyway.
"On second thought, maybe we should do more research first."
Xavi looked confused. "How? We already asked everyone's opinions. Outsiders aren't allowed to give input."
Jun changed his stance. "Then we should examine and study the song more."
Xavi stared at him for a long moment. "Jun, my Korean vocabulary isn't great, but I can describe you right now. You're like a small, confused cat chasing your tail in a full circle."
"…You spoke the last sentence in English, you punk."
Xavi crossed his arms, meeting his gaze. "If we can't change the concept, people will harshly criticize us if we fail to meet expectations of the cover. I haven't had professional rap training, but I believe I'm more enthusiastic about rap than anyone here. It's not only about flow, diction, or technique. Rappers, especially in the West, face heavy criticism when people feel their lyrics aren't genuine. But Jun, this song talks about adult working life that we don't know yet."
Ah, the conflict. Jun felt defeated for the first time since waking back in the past. What to do? What not to do? Maybe he shouldn't rap at all and should beg Sujin to switch places.
He sprawled on the floor like a sunfish, scolding himself for hideous thoughts and reminding himself to stay in rap to avoid deviating from past events.
Last time, he wasn't in the dance or vocal groups. He was benched and had to pray for the Inhabitants' victory to stay in the Greenhouse. This time, he still wouldn't be in those groups. Those meant to be there should stay. But that didn't mean he should let the rap group become a laughingstock.
But the problem remained. What to do?
"Why am I 18 again?" Jun murmured mentally.
Head empty, gaze clouded, he stared at the ceiling for a long time.
"Should we sleep?" Xavi hesitated before asking.
"You go ahead first."
Jun stayed. Xavi left after he gave the go-ahead. The other boy had a simple mindset and believed inspiration couldn't be forced, especially on this day.
Minutes passed, and Jun eventually succumbed to the call of the warm bed and comforter. Of course, he could not sleep.
At times like this, he badly missed his earbuds and phone, where he could listen to ETM's songs. He felt terrible and found it ridiculous that he couldn't even hum his favorites for fear of copyright infringement on songs his group once owned.
…
Unsurprisingly, Jun didn't get enough sleep, but being a K-pop idol meant getting used to it. A mild headache greeted him when he woke, but he was still alert enough to function.
He thought about the mission and concluded the best solution was to keep the original meaning without using themselves as examples.
"All of us here gathered for the same reason. We all want to debut. But we only make it through the support of those who love and support us." At the breakfast table, Jun addressed his group mates. Steam rose from the hot coffee before him.
"Okay?" Xavi blinked at Jun, imaginary question marks floating above his head.
The rap leader added, "One more thing: unlike us aspiring to be idols, the people who support us morally and spiritually are ordinary. Just because they live ordinary lives doesn't mean they have nothing extraordinary. This couldn't be further from the truth."
Sujin nearby wore an interested expression.
Jun nodded and continued, "I'm considering talking about them in our rap. The chorus stays as it is."
Daeho thought a moment, then replied, "It's feasible. The message remains, and the parts won't sound disjointed."
Xavi pouted. "Yet we're scrapping what we wrote before."
"Sorry," Jun said with a wry smile, shaking his head gently.
Xavi stayed depressed for a few moments. The three quietly, tacitly decided to give him time to get over it.