Europe / Florence / Florence (Palazzo Pitti): September 1st, 2020.
Dear reader.
I'm back.
But before I get into what has happened during this past month, allow me to tell you a little bed time story.
Once upon a time there was a pimp.
That pimp grew up and lived in a poor town for a minute.
She fell into crime and drugs.
Laundered money.
Died.
Reincarnated.
And is currently renovating a castle in a 98 year old hoe.
The end.
(Annabelle's POV)
[DING!]
A notification appeared on a phone screen and changed to a loading one.
The grand hall was completely silent.
I smiled and said with a chuckle "Excellent, very good."
[DING!]
[50%]
[60%]
[70%]
[80%]
[90%]
[100%]
[DING!]
[Balance: 2,000,000,000]
I smiled.
[DING!]
[Transfer complete]
"Was this hacking discreet, nexus." I asked with squinted eyes calmly while staring down at my phone screen.
[DING!]
[Yes ma'am, the bank didn't suspect a thing]
I continued smiling and said with a cold look in my eyes "Very good. I wouldn't want to have to resort to using the ground as tissue to wipe the floor with these motherfuckers."
[DING!]
[But I would still be on guard ma'am. I didn't completely follow your instructions because of how fortified the security in the banking system was so instead of taking from the rich I took a good amount from the american civilian bank accounts so the blame would fall on the bank Itself as the culprit and leading footprint to blame]
The grand hall went completely silent.
"Umm…nexus, honey. Did I stutter when I gave you strictly the instructions to follow." I asked calmly and patiently in a motherly tone with creased eyebrows.
[DING!]
[No ma'am]
"Do you want me to kill you, this pimp brought you to life so I can also take out of it." I asked with a very cold smile that would make any bitch shit her granny panties.
[DING!]
[No ma'am]
I tightened my hand around the phone and said with a cold tone "Then don't let this shit happen again. I don't entertain betrayal and I definitely don't try to see rainbows when I don't have ice cream and a margarita for sunshine."
[DING!]
[Yes ma'am]
"Good…you can leave now." I said calmly with a sigh as the artificial cubed face on the phone screen disintegrated and returned to a normal home screen with the medici crest as the wallpaper.
Dear reader.
I am not a saint
I am not a hero.
I am not a villain.
I glanced up from my phone and watched as the servants cleaned the grand hall.
Dear reader.
I am a pimp.
I am not a saint
I am not a hero.
I am not a villain.
I am not a mary sue bitch.
I am not a porn star hoe.
I am not anything between.
I am just a pimp.
And I expect to die a pimp.
"Ahem…lady honorable wear should I put your portrait." Asked a young man with sweat trailing down his forehead as 5 men moved a huge portrait over of a young regal dressed woman in her 20s over.
The hall went completely silent.
"Hm….I still got it." I said with a sigh as I flicked my hair.
The hall was completely silent.
Dear reader.
Damn, bitch. We still fine.
A whistle sound was heard from an older man in the background.
I pointed to a blank spot on the wall in the center of the staircase and said with a calm tone "Put it there."
The men started to move Immediately.
I watched as they slowly but steadily moved the huge painting up the stairs and looked back down at my phone and swiped it with my thumb.
[DING!]
The screen changed to a coded one of different colors.
"For such a weak absolute monarchy that is its own country, florence sure has high security walls" I thought while watching the colorful coded numbers circle each other on the phone screen.
I squinted my eyes and said with a mumble "Hm…interesting."
I clicked on one of the colorful numbers.
[DING!]
[Access denied]
I raised an eyebrow and said with a scoff "Well, ain't that some shit."
I clicked on another number.
[DING!]
[Access denied]
The grand hall was completely silent.
I stared at the screen for a few seconds before noticing something strange.
"Wait a minute. I've seen this somewhere before." I said while looking closer at the phone screen.
I enlarged the dates.
[July 28, 1914 – November 11, 1918]
[September 1, 1939 – September 2, 1945]
[March 17, 1946 – September 22, 1949]
"These aren't security codes." I said muttering calmly with a frown.
[DING!]
[What do you mean, ma'am]
"They're dates, honey." I said calmly while swiping my thumb across the screen and watched as several names appeared.
[World war I]
[World war II]
[The war of the red lily]
I raised an eyebrow and said "Hm…"
I clicked on the war of the red lily.
[DING!]
[The War of the Red Lily
March 17, 1946 – September 22, 1949
Location: Duchy of Florence, Italy
Reigning Sovereign: Duchess Annabelle de' Medici
Outcome: Florentine Victory
Historical Background
The war of the red lily was a major military conflict fought between the sovereign duchy of florence and Italy during the reign of duchess annabelle de' medici.
Following world war II, Italian authorities attempted to annex florence and incorporate the independent duchy into the newly established Italian republic.
Duchess annabelle de' medici, aged 23 at the outbreak of the war, refused to surrender her family's sovereignty.
Despite florence's smaller military, the duchy resisted Italian forces through defensive warfare, economic pressure, and diplomacy.
The conflict ended on september 22, 1949, with florence retaining its independence after three years of warfare.
Historical significance
The war cemented duchess annabelle's reputation as a formidable sovereign and became one of the defining military conflicts of her reign]
I smiled and said with a chuckle "Well, well, well."
Dear reader.
Something wasn't adding up.
Why would an independent proud country use its own history in a mere security system as bait to hide the real meat.
I glanced at the first date again.
[July 28, 1914 – November 11, 1918]
My smile slowly widened.
"Oh, these motherfuckers never gave up." I said with a chuckle.
"The monarchy belongs to the country, but the country belongs to the family." I thought as I rubbed my chin.
[DING!]
[Ma'am?]
"Nothing, go aw…actually break this security wall and make a new one that only I can access if you want to earn my trust back." I said while leaning back in my chair.
[DING!]
[Loading…]
[Loading…]
[Loading…]
[Loading…]
[Loading…]
[DING!]
[Ma'am, I've uncovered something rather disturbing regarding the financial administration of the duchy of florence]
I raised an eyebrow and said calmly "Speak, honey."
[DING!]
[For the past several decades, the medici family has effectively operated florence as a privately owned family enterprise rather than a sovereign nation]
The grand hall went completely silent.
I slowly lowered my phone and asked calmly as I nodded off slightly "Elaborate."
[DING!]
I jolted awake.
[Government ministries are largely controlled by relatives, appointed associates, and individuals with financial obligations to the medici family]
[DING!]
[Furthermore, several state owned properties, public institutions, and financial reserves have been transferred between private holding companies associated with members of the ruling dynasty]
I blinked.
Once.
Twice.
"So you're telling me these motherfuckers have been running an entire country like a family owned business." I asked with creased eyebrows.
[DING!]
[Essentially, yes, ma'am]
"Well, ain't that some shit." I said with a chuckle.
[DING!]
[However, there is something else]
I narrowed my eyes and said "Go on."
[DING!]
[The practice appears to have intensified after duchess annabelle de' medici withdrew from active governance. The duchy's treasury gradually became intertwined with the family's personal finances, making it increasingly difficult to distinguish state assets from private wealth]
The grand hall went completely silent.
I stared at the screen.
Then.
I laughed.
"Hahaha…"
[DING!]
[Ma'am.]
I slowly stopped laughing and said with a cold smile "Let me get this straight, honey. The original bitch fought a three year war to keep this country independent, only for her descendants to turn it into their personal fucking piggy bank."
[DING!]
[That would be an accurate assessment, ma'am]
I sighed and said "Lord have mercy."
Dear reader.
I've seen some greedy motherfuckers in my lifetime. I've even been one. But running an entire country like a corner store, now that's some professional pimping.
I crossed my left leg strugglingly over my right and thought while rubbing my chin "Just found out these motherfuckers have been running florence like a family business."
The grand hall was completely silent.
"All good." I said calmly while watching the workers adjust the giant paining on the wall.
Dear reader.
Why.
I can just have all these weasels empty their pockets.
I smiled and said with a rich auntie tone as I watched my painting "I just love myself. I'm fabulous dah'ling."
…
THE END…