"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! YOU CAME INTO MY COMPANY, AND YOU RUINED IT!!—"
I reached out for the porcelain handle of today's coffee cup. I could feel the sting as my fingers dug into the smooth, unyielding, and uncomfortable grip.
"YOU TORE EVERYTHING DOWN!! EVERY DIVISION, EVERY YEAR OF MY WORK!!—"
I continued to listen to his rambling.
The rain outside had long since dried up—just like whatever excitement I'd initially felt at hearing him break down.
I wanted to hang up. I really did. My fingers holding the phone twitched. There it was: the blaring red button that could shut off the source of my frustrations.
But I didn't. I couldn't even force myself to feel joy anymore—not after that initial flicker of interest.
"THERE'S B—barely anything left..."
Maybe I could've left them alone. Maybe I could've tried to change them—Lord knows how impossible that would've been.
Maybe I... I could've intervened sooner. Stopped Alicia from her downward spiral.
But that's the thing, isn't it? It's always maybe this, hindsight that with me.
I never change.
My teeth ground together painfully. All I could hear now was the loud noise of marbles rubbing together in my ears.
The man had gone silent again—only his soft sobs came through the phone.
I brought the cup of coffee to my lips, taking in the smoothness of the white brew. The liquid trailed down my throat, soothing the heat building in my chest. I breathed out—a slow sigh of relief. My fingers loosened their white-knuckled grip on the flimsy handle—I hadn't even realized how tightly I was holding it.
I needed to hang up before I did something I'd regret.
But I also needed to do this.
To see the fracture of this man's entire life through to the end.
That's what I always needed, right, Alicia? To commit to a goal.
My hand shakily set down the cup. The swirl of bubbles reminded me of her smile—forced as it had been.
She always made me question things. Even after her death.
The first question was why it hurt so much, when it was just another life lost to life's woes.
And the next one—one even I knew the answer to:
Why couldn't it be for someone else instead?
Because no one deserved it.
She was the first trickle of true joy in my life.
The one who introduced me to the addicting substance of ideals and hope.
It helped me stop questioning the point of things—because I understood it, finally. Even if that understanding was shallow.
That light at the end of the tunnel helped me find myself.
Helped me land my first long-term job.
Helped me buy my first apartment and move out of my parents' house.
She gave me something real.
Something I could build on.
"Did you enjoy it, you whore...?! DID YOU LIKE SEEING ME BREAK—"
My fingers slowly slid over the red button,
turning off the reminder of my inadequacy.
But did I, though? Did I enjoy the sight of him getting what he deserved?
No. I couldn't have...
Alicia wouldn't have approved. She always told me revenge was pointless. That it only created a cycle of hatred and anguish.
But she also said to be true to myself—however twisted I was.
Because at the end of the day, that's who I am. And who I'll be stuck with for the rest of my life.
And that person? Scarlet?
My true self loved it.
The petty, just-give-me-a-reason Scarlet loved it.
It made me let out a small chuckle as I leaned back in the chair. My eyes closed for a moment.
I understood, finally.
Why people do what they do.
Why they put so much effort into their Fortnite and Valorant.
Well—not exactly like that. But you get it.
Scarlet gets it.
It was like a boulder had been lifted off my shoulders at the revelation.
I was free. I could finally know what to do.
There are so many reasons why I am who I am.
But maybe... maybe I just needed to say it.
If it even helped me understand it a little better.
Her death finally gave me the momentum to pull myself out of the hole.
That despairing pit that swallows naive dreams and aspirations whole.
It felt mildly morbid, and I laughed at the fact for a bit.
The self-gratifying laugh let me vent the tangle of emotions from my chest.
Freed my mind to think.
Maybe I'm much more different than I thought I was.
I stood up, the now cold half drunk coffee cup left on the table as I paid my bill and walked out the door. My boots clinking against the cold pavement.
There's a small pep in my step that makes me want to dance my way back home but it only managed to force my lips into a smirk.
I held my head high, for the first time in years I finally was able to see the sky as I walked.
Look around at the top of people's heads, at the top of buildings. Seeing the birds that flew between the jungle of concrete.
I remember when I wanted to be like them, to be able to fly, to be free and have the world at my fingertips and still know where to go.
But then life overwhelmed me. With responsibilities, with options, with choices.
Well, I adapted somehow. Maybe now's the time I put that motivation and direction to good use?
I continued on the road, this part is one of the more bustling part of my hometown. Adjacent to the city center and the place's infamous Walking Street.
Something the mayor tried to imitate after coming back from a vacation from Vietnam.
Well, speaking of vacation, maybe I do need one, huh?
I have some money saved up, and I'm confident I could find a new job after it—something quiet, something far away.
Maybe HR. Wouldn't be too bad.
I stopped, the smattering of water on stone pulled me out of my introspection.
I rummaged through my purse to find the umbrella, thank god, I packed this morning, and held the purple-ish blue thing up. Pressing the button to spring out the canopy of nylon to protect myself from the bullets of water.
The light drizzle of rain is slowly ramping up.
"That's weird...?" The weather report didn't report on any rain today whatsoever...
Did they make a mistake? But then again, they're often wrong.
I continued walking, my apartment would be just a bit further out of this area.
I actually could've taken the call at home, but I knew myself. I probably would've opened my phone and rotted my brain away with TikTok while he screamed my ear off.
At least this way, I'd actually pay attention and commit.
The rain continued to intensify. Thick droplets slammed onto the umbrella, rhythm shifting from pitter-patter to something deeper—like fingers drumming.
I'm rambling again. I scoffed softly.
My mind has been running a mile a minute since morning.
There was a sense of urgency the moment I woke up today. I attributed it to the call, but it doesn't seem to be fading.
Maybe it's the residual excitement?
It'll go away eventually.
There was thunder in the distance. The wind was howling–
'The wind?' I stopped.
Something feels wrong. I looked around.
The Commercial District is awfully silent. Where were the people? The talking, laughing children and couples?
Just a moment ago, before the rain, it wa–
**BAAMMM**
Another thunder went off. Practically right next to me. It rattled inside my ribs like a war drum.
I frown and took off. My nose and chest swelled with the suffocating scent of ozone and– alarm?
My boots splashed through shallow puddles as I moved faster.
I took a peek into a familiar donut shop as I passed. It's empty, no soft jazz playing from the little radio behind the counter, the beautiful and caring donut lady is nowhere to be seen, the one whose kindness has persisted in this grimy Earth, even through harsh hurricanes.
Another lightning tore itself through the atmosphere and struck the ground across the street from where I was. It was wrong, it didn't fork, it chose where it wanted to attack.
There was a flash of blinding light before the massive shockwave of energy shook my bones.
There was that suffocating smell again. Now filling all of my torso, I audibly gagged, the smell making me pant even when I'm not even close to tiring out yet.
I couldn't stay here, I needed to take shelter.
I ran, half-skidding into the nearest building—hands rapping against the glass of the sliding door.
No one answered. I checked the next one, this time a wooden, fancy, ornate door to some fancy restaurant.
Locked and no signs of anyone.
I sighed, running the free hand through my hair as I adjusted the hand holding my umbrella. I was cold, both from the biting wind and water but also something else.
"This is getting ridiculous..." i said, yanking out my phone.
The internet is still up. Maybe I could call an Uber?
I opened the app. The familiar black with white letters greeted me with no less amounts of greed.
The logo pulsed ominously, nothing.
"Come on..." I turned it off and opened it again. The same white text and black background.
I opened Lyft next, and the app also predictably stopped working.
I chewed on my lips. I definitely don't have any contacts willing to give me a ride. No one to even call.
That's the consequences for being a loner, I guess.
I peeked out from under the umbrella up at the sky. It was... different.
It was an ugly, squinted, scowled, frowned, and twisted expression. A Throbbing, distorted canopy of blackened clouds with no shape, yet full of intention.
There were no eyes. But it was staring. Glaring hatefully at the ground.
The storm surged and roiled into a flood of gray and black liquid. Seemingly swallowing up all life.
It made me more grateful than ever to have bought this high-quality umbrella.
I sighed, running my hand through my hair again. My boots and the calf of my jeans were soaked even despite standing still.
This is getting out of hand... maybe I could break into that glass sliding door? That'd give me more protection than standing under the rain with just an umbrella, and precious time to think and breathe normal air. Instead of the boiled ozone that the lightning creates.
I looked around at the silent street. No one's here, not even a soul despite the bustling activity from before.
Something was wrong.
I made up my mind–
I stepped away from the ornate doors and made a dash for it, right at the glass sliding door while my free hand reached into my purse to pull one of those small tempered glass breakers.
**BAAAMMM**
A thunder rocked the street again, this time closer than even before. It was right at my heel as I ran.
The small distance felt like an entire mile as my heart pounded in my chest, cold sweet rolled down the back of my neck.
I could feel my lungs squeezing in air and pushing out breaths.
I didn't hear my boots hit the road.
My core burned as I realized–
I'm in the middle of the road. Somehow. Like time had slipped or I'd skipped a beat.
"How the fuck?!" I screamed out-- before the lightning struck, and the city twisted upon itself into a macabre idol of concrete and steel imitating flesh and blood.
The flowing hair made of glass, reflecting the idealized and wrong rays of impossible light coming from impossible angles.
The stretched out hands with so much fingers some even reaching into dimensions I couldn't possibly comprehend. It's concrete flesh with white hot and rusted gray metal blood both bleeding and not through great gashes that stretches out into realms I both recognize and forgotten.
It's eldritch body *undulated*, coiling along itself before snapping back into more fractals, reflections and matte material of impossibility.
Immediately as it fingers reached me.
I blacked out–