####
Kakashi-sensei squeezes the gum; white liquid comes spilling out.
"Why does it have sake in it?" he asks.
"The curry is already too potent... I use the sake as a diluent," I say with a shrug.
"Also, it makes the side effects less... unpleasant?" I pause, pondering my choice of words.
Senpai is up again, and it seems the fight will drag on much longer.
"Poor kid…" Kakashi sighs. "He... is unconscious, isn't he?"
Did Senpai lose consciousness after going through all that effort to stand up?
I see Guy-sensei tearing up, his hand reaching up to signal the referee.
Then suddenly, he notices something.
"No… no no no no…" Guy-sensei panics.
"What is it, Guy?" Kakashi asks, understandably shaken by the change in tone.
"Kakashi! We've gotta evacuate!" Guy-sensei grips his head.
Kakashi looks around helplessly, like he's trying to manage a panicked child.
And at this moment, Might Guy looks exactly like one—trembling behind Kakashi like a spooked cow.
Alright… I kind of planned on investing in Senpai's peculiar alcohol-based power boost, but this seems... exaggerated?
Right?
There's no way Senpai—even drunk—gave THE Might Guy mental trauma... right?
"I... I have to stop Lee before he causes more destruction!!" Guy suddenly flexes his muscles.
Chakra spikes like wildfire. Is he turning his chakra gates on!?
What the hell!?
Kakashi, unsure what else to do, simply neck-chops him.
Guy-sensei collapses into his arms like Sleeping Beauty.
Kakashi coughs awkwardly, glancing around at the stunned Jounin.
He sets Guy-sensei down gently and returns to watching the match.
!!!???
I glance at the Hokages' seats. Hiruzen looked away at the last second.
Did he just signal Kakashi to shut Guy up?
Guy twitches as Naruto pokes him.
He won't be getting up anytime soon.
What the hell is that old man planning?
---
**Rock Lee vs. Ichibi**
Rock Lee sways side to side as he approaches the enemy.
Ichibi tilts his head, observing him.
This time, he attacks first—sand swirling from his gourd.
It encircles Lee and quickly encases him in a floating square coffin.
Wow… this one actually looks like a coffin.
The coffin levitates briefly before slamming down.
Ichibi walks closer and touches it. The box crackles, twists, and contorts.
"Well... he's dead now," Naruto mutters.
A hand suddenly shoots out and grabs Ichibi by the face.
Startled, Ichibi grabs the wrist, eyes wide as he tries to identify the attacker.
It's Senpai—emerging from the crumbling sand coffin, expression serene, as if the world around him is a dream.
Ichibi forms claws of sand and slashes, but Senpai dodges smoothly, still gripping his face.
A single "\[hic!!]" echoes across the field before Senpai headbutts the Jinchūriki.
"Is he drunk?" Naruto asks.
"Yeah... it seems so," I reply with a shrug.
He finally lets go of Ichibi's head.
Ichibi takes a step back.
Silence.
The air chills as Ichibi's rage becomes tangible.
His eyes glow red under his bangs...
Then—gone.
Replaced by the smug smirk he had earlier.
"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" he asks, as if facing a new person.
"Muuu... name... I... ee…" Lee slurs.
"Oh yeah? Nice to meet you… Drunk Lee," Ichibi replies, amused.
He circles Lee slowly, trying to get a better angle.
"You remember who I am, kid?" Ichibi asks.
Kakashi frowns.
"Is he stalling?" I ask, noticing Kakashi's unease.
He doesn't respond, only glancing around occasionally.
Yeah… I feel it too.
This arena is filled with ANBU from three nations.
There's also a heavy presence outside.
We're surrounded.
If things go south, we'll be swarmed.
Ichibi might be plotting to escape.
####
Ichibi flicks his fingers, summoning a swirl of sand that forms into a massive, cannon-like shape.
Okay, not gonna lie—cool aesthetics.
He points it at Senpai, who is still staggering like a ballerina.
*"Phuuuuu....piuuuu!"*
The cannon fires a red blast with a sharp sound.
What the hell?! Is this some kind of mini Biju bomb?
Senpai spins and dodges gracefully—one leg raised, dancing between death beams.
Ichibi keeps his distance.
One blast hits Senpai—bouncing off his hand and flying straight back.
Ichibi simply shifts slightly to dodge.
But that moment of distraction…
Senpai lunges and hooks his fingers around Ichibi's torso.
He rips a chunk out of Ichibi's stomach.
Ichibi grabs Senpai's arm, but Senpai twists unnaturally and slips away just before the sand explodes into spikes.
He's not using oil like I do to escape grips—he's deforming his joints to do it.
Then… the two of them just zone out—locked in strange, flowing martial arts.
Senpai's dodges are wild and unpredictable, not his usual calculated moves.
It seems reckless—until Ichibi charges in and gets slapped so hard sand bursts out of him.
If Gaara wasn't made of sand, he'd be shredded by now.
Now Ichibi keeps his distance, firing quick blasts from his cannon.
Finally, Ichibi lands a kick—but Senpai's body is so loose it doesn't even make a sound.
It gives Ichibi space, though.
"Whew! This guy's something else!" Ichibi laughs.
Then Senpai stomps the ground.
The force cracks the floor in a wide circle.
He exhales with a loud hiss as the floor beneath him lifts—like he's floating.
"What the fuck—"
It wasn't Naruto who swore.
It was Kakashi, Sharingan active.
Senpai lets out a pained scream and kicks the floating boulder across the arena.
It slams into Ichibi, scattering him into sand...
But the boulder doesn't stop.
It crashes into the Jounin stands—breaking the sound barrier.
Guy-sensei leaps to intercept, but it's too late.
It smashes past him, bulldozing multiple ninja like bowling pins.
The boulder punches a massive hole through the stadium wall.
Red sunlight pours through as the audience stares—first at the hole...
Then at Rock Lee, still standing there—eyes dreamy and distant.
Ichibi reforms from the sand, looking around as if genuinely impressed.
He walks calmly over and pokes Lee on the shoulder.
Senpai collapses.
But not completely.
He snaps awake mid-fall—sobered up.
He remembers.
He tries to rise...
Falls again.
"Ugh…" he groans.
"You did well, kid," Ichibi says, pointing his cannon at him.
He's going to kill him.
At last—Guy-sensei snaps.
He appears in the arena like a hurricane.
He's seen enough.
His student stood against a Jinchūriki. Got back up again. Again. Again.
Today—he won't let him die.
No matter what rules he has to break.
"That's enough," Gai says quietly.
It's eerie—he's always yelling.
Now the whisper hits harder.
Ichibi smirks.
Lowers the cannon.
*\[Why am I calling it a cannon...?]*
Then—he crumbles.
Dust.
!!!
The entire stadium falls silent.
A wind gusts through the hole in the wall.
Ichibi is gone.
Along with the Kazekage's son.