Life at the Order of the Phoenix headquarters was nothing like Harry had imagined.
He had thought it would be something like what he had seen at the Dark Lord's manor: dangerous people, coming to give their leader reports, sharing information and news. Planning and preparing.
He found very little of the sort at 12 Grimmauld Place.
When they had apparated in, some of the members were already there, sitting around the kitchen, talking and joking amongst themselves.
"So, Harry. That delightful young woman over there with the pink hair is-"
"Don't say it?" She said warningly.
"Cousin Nymphy" Sirius said and ducked.
"Damnit, Sirius, stop calling me Nymphy! God, I'd even prefer the full name to that! Just call me Tonks!"
"Nymphy's a little touchy about her name" Sirius stage-whispered to Harry, who still had no idea what the hell was actually going on.
Right then, the woman raised her wand, growling softly.
A tall black man stood up next to her, putting his hand on her arm.
"Now, now," he said in a deep, calming voice. "Let's not give Harry the wrong impression here"
He stretched a hand out to Harry.
"We aren't all total juveniles. Kingsley Shacklebolt. Pleasure to meet you"
Harry's hand was enveloped in the much larger man's own.
"You too"
"And this is Nymphadora Tonks, who as you may have picked up, prefers to go by her last name only"
"As if you wouldn't" she muttered, before stretching out her own hand. "Hi, Harry. Nice to actually meet you. You were just a first year when I was a seventh, so never really got the chance at Hogwarts"
"So you two are in the Order?"
"Yup," She said brightly. "So far, we're the only Aurors here. Well, except Mad-Eye"
"You're an Auror?"
"What, don't I look the part?"
He stared at her spiky pink hair and round, childlike face.
"Not really"
Sirius made a sound best described as a guffaw.
"I guess you're right," she said and screwed her eyes up tightly. "How about now?"
He gasped. Her face had just-changed. She looked much more serious, with her nose a bit bigger and her face more lined. And her hair was jet black, and tight against her scalp.
She laughed at his expression.
"How-how did-"
"I'm a Metamorphmagus. We can change our appearance at will. Definitely helped get me into the force"
"That" Kingsley added, "and she's rather good with a wand"
"Something that certain people should keep in mind if they insist on calling me stupid names," she said, shooting Sirius a dark look.
"Hey, don't blame me that your mum gave you a ridiculous name"
"At least I avoided the whole constellation thing, dogman. And-"
"Who else is in the Order?" Harry asked, cutting the familiar sounding argument off.
"Some of them you already know," Sirius said. "McGonagall, Snape, Hagrid, Moody, Remus, Dumbledore. A bunch more, you'll probably meet them all over the next week or so"
"And you know the Weasleys, of course," Tonks added.
' Fuck me'
"I know some of their kids," Harry said quietly.
"They're gonna be around a bit, over the summer," Sirius said, looking at him closely.
' Really? Fuck me. Stuck in a house with Weasley. And I'm gonna have to be all nice and friendly. Fuck'
"Cool," Harry said, making Sirius seem a bit relieved.
"Tonks, we've got to get back to the Ministry. Sirius, Harry, we'll be seeing you tomorrow"
They said their farewells, and then it was just Harry and Sirius in the house.
"I wanted to tell you about the Weasleys. Just didn't have a good chance. Are things ok between-"
"Fine" Harry muttered. "Why are they gonna be here? Surely the kids aren't part of the Order?"
Frowning, Sirius answered. "The parents and older siblings are. After what they've just been through, they don't want to leave the kids alone when they come for meetings. Not that I blame them"
' Idiots. By the end of this, they won't have any kids left'
"How often are these meetings gonna be?"
"Probably a few times a week. We'll have them at nights when no-one has to skive of work to come. Don't want the Death Eaters to start putting two and two together"
' No. I'll bet you don't'
"That's another thing I wanted to discuss with you," Sirius said, a bit nervously. "You can't sit in on the meetings"
"Why not? If this whole organization is to fight the guy trying to kill me-"
"I'll tell you everything that happens in them, but you can't be there during. Its just-only members of the Order are allowed. For you alone, that wouldn't be an issue-"
"So why is it?"
' If I've got to be here, at least let me get some real info out of it! Not whatever watered down bullshit he'll tell me!'
"Because, like I said, the Weasley's are coming for meetings with their kids!" Sirius said, clearly flustered, "and if we make an exception for you, they'll all want to be allowed in also"
"Fine," Harry said. "I mean, what could I say to that?"
"Knew you'd see reason," Sirius said, clapping Harry on the back.
Harry had a mad, momentary urge to snap his head around and bite at his arm.
"When's Daphne planning on coming?"
"We haven't really worked it out yet. But it's looking like she'll be coming for a few days at a time, here and there"
"Cool. Just let me know, so I can plan around that. C'mon, let's get you settled in"
The next day, Harry had his first lesson with Augustus Shriner.
It was-interesting.
Harry knew he was pretty good at fighting. After all, he and Draco had practiced casting jinxes and hexes on their own for two years. After that, they'd had the Dark Lord himself give them pointers, had two years of Snape training them and had that insane summer with Barty.
So Harry felt he was quite prepared.
Of course, the chubby, unassuming wizard had to prove him totally wrong.
"So. What would you do if I cast a spell at you?"
Harry answered immediately, not even thinking about it. "Protego. Dodge it, if it was a Killing Curse"
Shriner raised an eyebrow. "Dodge it? In this room? Where, precisely, would you move to?"
"I'd-I'd-"
"You'd die. Unless you're actually immune to them. I don't think you wish to test that, do you?"
"So what should I do then?"
Shriner just looked at him like he was an absolute idiot. "Conjure a shield. Something physical, and a few inches thick"
"Yeah, well I can't conjure that quickly, so-"
"So you will die. You will learn to conjure a physical shield. No protego. Besides. Protego, really? The most basic and weak of all the shield charms?"
Bristling, Harry opened his mouth angrily and was hit by a yellow hex that made his chest itch.
"You will block. No protego. No foolish attempts at dodging. Conjure a shield. Summon something. Transfigure something. Use your environment, damn you"
By the time their hour was done, Harry's entire body was itching like mad, and he had angry welts spouting in quite a few places.
"You will practice the Protego Maxima, and you will work on your conjuration speed"
"Fine" Harry snarled under his breath.
Shriner just gave him a blank look.
"When I can be certain that you would survive long enough in a fight to use them, we will work on your offensive skills. Return tomorrow"
Harry nodded, and stalked out of the room, grumbling to himself and scratching his arms.
And so the summer days passed. Harry started to get to know the members of the Order a bit better. Dumbledore would only come in regularly once a week, for the major strategy and planning session, and Snape came in even less.
Tonks, on the other hand, was there at some point almost every day. Harry started getting used to her strange way of interacting with Sirius. They seemed to spend half of their time together insulting the crap out of one another, and the rest talking about Lupin.
Of course, Lupin came in almost as rarely as Snape, each time looking worse for wear.
"Living underground with the packs doesn't really lend itself well to the amenities we're all used to" he had told Harry the first day he came in.
Shriner was there every day, of course. He spent at least an hour teaching Harry, and would often lecture the Order on the Dark Arts.
Luckily, Harry was allowed into those meetings. Unluckily, the Weasley kids were also.
' He really, really knows his stuff. That healing spell he showed us will definitely come in handy. It's such a shame he's on the wrong side. Fucking idiot, doesn't he realize they won't let him use the Dark Arts?'
And then there was the Weasley family. The parents seemed half-mad, to be honest. The mother had a metal rod poking out of her pocket all the time, and the father just seemed lost.
And Harry just had to play nice, shake Ron's hand and tell him how sad it was that his brother was killed, how sorry Harry was.
' Just a pity that it wasn't you' he had thought, keeping his face solemn. And that stupid younger sister just ignored him.
The twins, strangely enough, hadn't been messing around or playing pranks at all. They spent all the time they could speaking with Shriner, wearing deadly serious expressions, often with Ron standing beside them.
' It's not so weird. They want revenge. Good. Maybe I'll come up against them one day. Cunts'
He'd met their older siblings too. They weren't around as much as the rest of the family, which was really the best thing Harry could think to say about them.
After three weeks of being trapped in the prison known as 12 Grimmauld Place, Harry was just about losing his fucking mind. Daphne was only going to be coming the following week, and he'd had it.
Nothing to do for most of the day. People had an irritatingly rude habit of walking into his room, so he couldn't just read the books he wanted to. He couldn't have friends over. Fine, his conjuration was improving, but goddamnit was it boring!
He was itching. Itching just to feel the pleasure of casting a Crucio again. He'd spent hours, just lying on his bed with a content grin, remembering how those muggles-how those muggles had screamed as his old home burned. Remembering the noises Poliakoff had made, the noises that the priest had made. Remembering the feeling of power taking over him.
At some point, his memories would change to Daphne, and he would have a whole other urge to relieve. That one at least was far easier to take care.
Oh, afterward he'd always feel strange, and he'd practice his Occlumency more, but he didn't make any real effort to stop.
' It is pretty weird. To jack off thinking about people I've killed. Maybe if I wasn't stuck in this fucking place'
Still, there was one benefit to being there. Besides his improvements in fighting.
Even though people would barge into his room during the day, at night, once everyone at the old mansion was asleep, he could safely lock his door, cast a bunch of privacy charms, hide under his invisibility cloak, and pass information to the Dark Lord.
" $My Lord. I must apologize, but I have bad news$"
" $What have they done now?$"
"$Black told me that the Americans, Africans, Chinese, and Australians are sending aid. Not only to the ministry but apparently there will be a special force only working with the Order of the Phoenix$"
The Dark Lord hissed, rage twisting his features momentarily.
" $Did Black give you an indication of what their numbers are?$"
" $Not precisely. He said there are a few thousand coming, all together, but I don't know how many per country, or how many will be working with the ministry. He did say they would possibly send more at a later stage$"
" $When are they arriving?$"
" $Within the next three weeks. And- he said-$"
Harry hesitated. The Dark Lord motioned for him to continue, and he did, swallowing before speaking.
"$They have replicated the detectors Shriner created, my lord. Enough to place at every major wizarding location in Britain, and by Christmas, they will have enough for the whole of Europe. They will have teams of guards by them at all times, and any found bearing the Mark, except those who were previously cleared, will be taken into custody. And-and they're getting approval for the use of-at least a combination of sleep deprivation and veritaserum on those with the Mark$"
The Dark Lord went absolutely, perfectly still, his eyes burning like fiendfyre.
Eventually, He spoke. "$Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I would only have found out when the ministry was told, or when Severus was next spoken to. Thank you, Harry. You are doing well$"
" $Thank you, my lord$" Harry said, preening. "$If I may ask, what are we going to do?$"
The Dark Lord smiled.
" $I will have to stop Marking my followers, for now. Although, polyjuice would still take care of that issue. Non-essential personnel will be diverted from Russia. And it is time we start bringing in the magical creatures. Giants, vampires, werewolves. And the Dementors will be freed from Azkaban and allowed free reign against my enemies. I shall begin unleashing inferi once more. And when Britain is ours, well. Those other countries will soon come to regret their actions$"
Harry nodded, feeling a bit less hopeless.
" $Has Shriner said anything about his past?$"
" $No, my lord. He doesn't give away any personal information$"
" $Find our whatever you can. And collect as much information on the members of the Order themselves. Personal information-their friends, their ambitions, their desires. Send me this information, along with hair or nail clippings of them. They seek to make us hide? Well, we shall hide in plain sight$"
" I won't let you down, my lord$"
" I know. Harry. I believe, that by the end of this year, you will be publicly acknowledged as mine. As a spy, you must do as much damage as you can now!$"
" $I-I will, my lord. And I'm looking forward to that day$"
The Dark Lord chuckled. "$I know$"
He lay behind her, pulling her tight against him. His hands rested on her chest, fondling her.
' God, how the fuck did I manage without her here?'
He said as much.
She laughed breathily, saying quietly "good to know I've been missed. How sure are you your godfather isn't gonna walk in?"
"Pretty sure. He hasn't come in at night once since I've been here, and we'd at least have a little bit of warning"
"Yeah, but I wasn't here. And I think he really doesn't want us-you know-"
"Fucking?" He filled in helpfully.
"Yup. For all his jokes, he seems nervous about it"
"Well, fuck him. I don't care. I'm gonna do what I want"
"And what you want happens to be me, correct?"
He snuggled up tighter, and put his mouth right by her ear "you know it"
"That I do. It must be so weird being here, hanging out with the enemy"
"You have no idea. It's just-I like them. Some of them, at least. Like Tonks, and Sirius, and Kingsley's cool. But I-I might have to fight them. Hell, at some point, I probably will"
She stayed quiet for a long while, just breathing, pushing his hands out with her every inhale.
"And I-I hated Pettigrew, you know? It's one thing to kill someone, but to betray them, it's just-so much worse. And here I am, doing the exact same fucking thing. And for the guy who killed my parents. Sometimes, I think I'm-am I evil? Are we evil, Daphne?"
She turned around, displacing his hands.
"I don't think there's such a thing as evil. Or good. It's just bullshit words"
"Only power"
She nodded, her eyes never leaving his.
"Only power. And it's better to be the one with the power, than the one without"
"Yeah. But still. Some things just don't feel right. And I told you, I'm giving you those hairs, and those memories. I'm doing it. But it's like-what the fuck am I, Daph? Sirius has just tried to be so good to me, and yeah, he fucks up a lot, and I kinda hate him cause his stupidity helped get me into that fucking place, but I also kinda love him. And what I'm doing-it's gonna get him killed. Maybe not right away, but at some point. I want us to win, which means he's gonna die. And Tonks-she's fun and sweet, and cool, and I don't want to kill her. I don't want anyone to kill her. But someone's gonna have to, and I'm helping! What the fuck am I, Daph?"
"You are what you were made into" she stroked his face gently, "What Dumbledore, and Sirius, and your muggle relatives made you into when they left you to go to that place. You are what those muggles made you into. And I-I'm what my father made me into-and I-yeah, sometimes I don't like it either, but that's what we are. There's no point hiding from it. You just need to embrace it. And you need to stop caring"
"I know! But how the fuck do I do that?!"
"Shh" her fingers ran their way down his neck, down his side. "You just do. I don't know. It's one of the first things father taught me"
"How-how did he teach you?" He was reacting to her fingers, to her nails' soft caress. Until she stopped suddenly.
"I-I can't-" her breath caught for a moment. "I'll tell you another time. Maybe I'll show you memories if you get a Pensieve. But not-not now"
"Daphne, you know that-"
"I know. I trust you, I love you. But I just-let me think about it, ok? How best to describe it. It was all very-complicated"
' What the fuck did he do?'
"Take your time, babe. But I'm ready, and I'll be here"
"I know. And you said you like this Tonks girls, hey? So do I have competition?"
Her fingers carried on moving down his body, and his cock pricked up.
"Definitely not"
"I can see that" she looked back up at his face. "But you should hear Bellatrix talk about her. God, she hates her so fucking much"
"I know she's her aunt, and that her father's a mudblood, but still-"
"Harry, you have no idea. I mean, I've seen her pissed off a lot this summer. Ever since you told us about those detectors. But when she talks about her sister, and what a terrible, disgusting abomination it is that there's a half-blood descendant of the Blacks. Merlin, it's almost scary"
Harry shivered. "I can imagine"
Daphne snorted. "Just wait till I tell her about her niece, the half-blood werewolf lover"
"What?"
Daphne laughed at his expression, her whole body shaking. "No fucking way. Seriously? You haven't picked up on that?"
"On what?"
"God, you really are clueless? I was with the two of them for less than fifteen minutes, and you've been here for weeks!"
"Her and Lupin? But-he's so old!"
"She's crushing on him hard. It's so obvious. Gah! Boys!"
He shifted up onto his elbows and looked down at her. "What's so obvious about it?"
"Ok, first, just the way she looks at him! Then, the way she was talking when he was around compared to how she was talking at dinner tonight. She wants him bad"
"You're wrong. No way" he said incredulously.
"When was the last time I was wrong and you were right about this type of thing? C'mon, Harry, I had to actually spell it out for you about us"
"Fine. But I still think you're wrong"
"Either way, Bellatrix's reaction should be pretty fun"
"You're sick, you know that"
"That's why you love me"
"Pretty much" he admitted, "but I also love you for this"
He kissed her and swung his body over her's.
Her smile was all the answer he needed.
Having Daphne around made life more tolerable. At least he had someone to talk to throughout the day, someone to hang out with. Shriner refused to have her join the lesson though, saying that he absolutely would not be starting from scratch again.
Even if Daphne wouldn't have been the best thing in his life, it still would have been worth having her around just to make things easier around Weasley. Now that she was there, it was far easier to back out of a conversation with the ginger.
Unfortunately, she couldn't stay for the whole summer. Even though they had originally planned for her to be popping in and out for a few days at a time, things had changed. So she stayed for two weeks before heading home for the rest of the summer.
Still, even though she wasn't there for too long, it was enough for Harry to get some type of equilibrium back. And her going, made it a lot easier to send his memories of the members of the Order, and their hair. He'd started getting a bit worried about that, to be honest. If anyone was to find his neatly labeled vials, with hairs inside them. Well, it wouldn't be good. Not at all.
And she would be able to give her own perspective of the Order. As she'd already demonstrated, she saw some things Harry just totally missed.
She had cackled like an absolute loon when Sirius confirmed that, yes, Tonks was totally pining for Lupin. Sirius was convinced that it was only a matter of time until Lupin gave in. After all, the werewolf had been single for a long, long time, and as much as he thought it irresponsible, he liked Tonks.
Sirius, for his own part, was completely in favor of his cousin dating his closest living friend.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. So with a heavy heart, Harry kissed Daphne goodbye, watching with a scowl as Sirius took her arm and disapparated with a pop.
' September first can't fucking come quick enough' he thought, kicking out at the armchair in the lounge.
"So what'd they say today?"
Sirius settled back in his chair, sipping a butterbeer.
"Same as at the last few meetings. Trying to figure out why things've been so quiet here"
"Why do they think? I mean, there's been a lot going on in the rest of Europe, right?"
Sirius gave a deep sigh and stared into his bottle for a bit before answering.
"Europe's a bloody mess right now. Germany's barely holding on, and when they fall, Poland and Austria will too. All those little countries around Russia are in total chaos. Barely any communication with them, and when we do have, it's all garbled and confusing. Spain, Italy, Greece, and France are all suffering, but they're at least holding their own, for now. Portugal's in total lockdown mode. No one allowed in or out. Rumor is, they're deciding whether to surrender to him or not. And then there's us. Barely anything going on. Minor attacks in villages here and there, but it seems like he's ignoring us for now"
"Why?"
' Let's see if you've figured it out. Let's see what the mighty Order of the Phoenix thinks'
"We think he's trying to take out our allies first. Britain will be tough for him, that's for sure. We've got the biggest magical population in Europe, and we've got Dumbledore, and the Order and the Ministry's always been the strictest out of them all with the Dark Arts. So he's biding his time before trying to take over. And-"
He broke off for a minute, sighed again, and continued.
"Last time, we had all that. But the only reason we even held on long enough for you to do whatever you did, was because the rest of Europe gave aid. Without that, we'd have been crushed long before. He knows that"
"But we've got allies coming, right? You said the one's coming in for a meeting end of the week?"
"Yeah. We've got them. And they'll help. But I-I don't think they really know what they're in for. The Death Eaters are bad enough, but when Voldemort shows up-"
Sirius shivered. "He's terrifying. He single-handedly changes the course of battles. And I don't think they're prepared for that. He hasn't been involved so much, in the small skirmishes. But when they get involved, he will"
' None of you are prepared. You're all going to die, damnit!'
They sat in silence for a little longer.
"Anything interesting on the school list?"
"Na. I didn't get made prefect, but I wasn't really expecting it anyways"
Sirius chuckled. "You're not enough of a ponce for that. Well, I'll get your supplies tomorrow. Anything else you need from Diagon, just write it on the letter"
"Can't I come? Even-"
But Sirius was shaking his head, a sad smile on his face.
"I'm sorry. I know you must hate it, being trapped here. But it's just not safe. We can't-I can't take that risk"
"But you said they've barely done anything in Britain!"
"And we don't want to give them a tasty target. I'm sorry, Harry. I hate it. I wish you could come. But-it's just for one more week, and then you'll be at Hogwarts. You'll be safe there"
' I'd be safer than you in Diagon! None of them would dare attack me!'
Harry just nodded, muscle in his jaw twitching.
And Sirius tried to lighten the mood, to talk about Quidditch, about classes, about friends, about Daphne. Harry just sat there, sullenly giving one or two-word answers.
Eventually, Sirius went to bed.
Harry followed suit, locking his door and placing all the privacy charms he could.
Conjuring a rat.
Crucioing it.
' Fuck!' He thought, wiping the sweat off of his flushed forehead. ' Let it just be next week already, for fuck's sake!'