I played the random "woman" in the woods a few more times as the Kali familia failed to find even a trace of my trail past my campsite. I was beyond amused by this as even after thoroughly checking the area in case I was lying they still failed to find anything. To say they were frustrated would be an understatement. By nightfall I ceased to get any more visitors as they deemed the trail over where I am to be a false one left to throw them off.-
Clearly even if the fact I could shift my body had become public knowledge no one thought I could flip complete appearances down to gender and even voice. To be fair I tended to isolate my shifts to my arms or moving my head so it could be forgiven that they failed to piece it together. Fucking around with the Kali familia aside I just spent my time here relaxing since I wasn't in a hurry or anything like that. I left once it got dark heading west towards Orario at a pleasant pace. By dawn I reached the edge of the great plains that surrounded the city.-
"Daddy's home!" I called with a grin as I strolled right up to the eastern gate.
"Holy shit, you're alive!?" the guard there exclaimed in shock when he saw me.
"Excuse the fuck out of you?" I said offended.
"I-I don't mean to offend but most the city thought you were a dead man." the guard said holding his hands up in surrender.
"Well I'm not as you can tell so open the gate already. I'm about ready to kill for a proper fucking bath." I said and he hurriedly pulled the lever to open the gate.
I wasted no time at all heading straight for the manor to drop off my loot and go die a slow and satisfying death in the bath. Sure I could get rid of most of my bodies sweat and grime using my cursed technique but that didn't mean I didn't still feel grimy. I barely managed to even get into to door to the manor before the missile of a goddess flew into me.-
"Oof! Good evening to you too I guess." I said with a chuckle.
"Just shut up for once!" Hestia said with a huff as she burried her head into my chest with a tight embrace.
I just smirked and picked her up which totally caught her off guard.
"What are you doing!?" she demanded angrily.
"Well I need to drop off the loot and I can't exactly do that with you holding me in place like that. So I figure it would be fine to just take you with me." I said without any shame as I carry her princess style to my workshop door and unlock it.
"You're impossible!" she said with the smallest smile that betrayed her true feelings on the matter.
This was all quite calculated on my part as she didn't need some sappy return from war bullshit. Just acting like nothing happened was more than enough to ease her mind. Eventually though she got annoyed at being so roughly carried and wiggled free. -
"What happened to cause you to go into a coma?" she asked seriously as I put up the bag containing the Knuckelavee stuff.
"Fight was harder than expected since the thing was resistant to my fire and too damn clever to get trapped in my ice. Also had a bullshit second phase of all the trope ass nonsense to deal with." I said honestly and more than a little annoyed by the memory.
"Second phase?" she said confused.
"Yeah like you fulfil a certain condition and the monster changes how it fights in some way that makes it even harder to kill. In this case it started burning it's toxins while fusing both of it's blade arms together to hit WAY harder. Naturally I decided to match it's insanity with my own and well that coma was the cost. Will NOT be doing that again anytime soon that's for sure." I said with a grimace.
"That's.... something I guess." she said with a strange expression.
"Indeed! Now if you don't mind I'd like to soak in the bath for a while to get the road off." I said turning to leave the workshop.
I did too. Got nice and naked and after rinsing off I just sank down to my jawline into the steaming waters to relax. I must have forgotten to put up the occupied sign because at one point Daphne and Cassandra entered to room in nothing but bath towels only to freeze when they saw me. Daphne at least had the shame to look away while Cassandra just stared with wide eyes and beet red face.-
I just laughed at the event and shortly afterward left the bath. A slight flex of my cursed technique fixed the "pruning" I had from soaking so long as I got dressed in a simple cloth shirt and pants. There was a celebration at the hostess that night for both my safe return and the slaying of an ancient monster of legend. It wasn't a certain dragon but the beast was still something found in old legends. It wasn't everyday such a creature is laid low by an adventurer.-
Even those not part of our familia joined us in celebration with Mama Mia choosing not to say anything about the ruckus this once. It was a deed worthy of the city itself celebrating but that wouldn't happened since they'd only find out over the next couple days through rumor. After that party though I finally got to sleep in my actual bed for the first time in over two weeks and it was heavenly.