I smiled as much as I could. I still berated myself for calling Jackson. My brother. He was my only sibling, and he hated me. He hated me because I left...and didn't bring him with me.
I remembered eighteen-year-old Amanda. She wasn't fit to care for a growing teenager. Plus, she had it worse than he could ever imagine or comprehend.
"Who would have thought! We got the trip," one of my coworkers jumped excitedly. I was told to meet them here and pretend that this was my first day, too. They came a few days early.
The receptionist smiled and handed out key cards, giving me a knowing smile. I flush red and grab my card.
"Are you feeling sick? You turned red all of a sudden," someone asked as I turned to leave. I stuffed my keycard in my pocket and faced that curious crowd.
"No, it's just stuffy in here," I smile sheepishly. They all nodded, "Yeah, this rich and powerful air is quite suffocating," someone called among the group. And wave if laughs echoed, including mine.
"You know you're not that bad," I heard a young lady call as the groups dispersed to their room. I frowned and faced her, "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you're nice. Quiet, but nice. Rachel Brown was a mean lady, always vindictive and jealous of beautiful women," the young lady said, trudging her suitcase behind her.
I nodded understanding, "I have integrity and character, two things needed to be a good leader, " I mused. We both walked towards the elevator.
"Oh, that's good advice. Integrity and character... Got it." She said, frowning, as if to force her brain to remember. "I'll see you at tonight's dinner?" She asked suddenly as we reached to elevators.
"Sure, how late is it?" I asked, not used to conversing with someone.
"I think it said seven," she beamed, a smile crossing her face. Showing the dimples etched into her cheeks.
I looked around, was she smiling at me?
"Okay," I said, finally looking back at her.
"You don't make many friends, do you?" She said, raising one eyebrow. I shook my head no, I was used to being alone.
"Well, we can be friends outside of working hours! I'm Micka, a financial adviser," the young lady smiled, holding out her hand.
"Amanda, if you didn't know," I said, taking her hand. She chuckled and shook my hand.
"Do you want to go up together? I think we're all on floor...seven," she said, checking her room card.
I panicked, I was on floor eleven.
"Um, --" I started, but was interrupted by a familiar, chilling voice.
"No, she's with me," Samuel said. He was dressed in a black suit, his slicked-back hair growing loose. He looked dashing, but I still didn't want anything to do with him.
"No, I'm not, I don't know you at all," I immediately responded. Shocked by my aggressiveness. He narrowed his eyes, briskly walking by us.
"You got some guts, girl," Micka laughed lowly.
I sighed a breath I was holding, "There's a first time for everything."
***
I sat by the shore, waiting for her arrival. I was anxious yet again. She was late. It was a little past seven, and it had grown dark already.
"Sorry, I'm late!" I heard her feet crunch against the dried seaweed. I turned. She wore a white dress that flowed to her knees, with brown sandals. Her full brown hair hung down to her shoulders.
My heart began to race against my ribs. She was the most beautiful woman I've met. She sat down on her knees and smoothed out her dress.
She looked at me, her eyes gleaming in the moon's light.
"You look beautiful," I said, unable to deny her ability to captivate me. I watched her cheeks turn pink, and she looked away.
"Thank you, it's for the dinner tonight. Which you don't look ready for," she frowned, still not meeting my gaze.
"The dinner starts at Seven-Forty-Five, it's Seven-fifteen," I called, glancing at my watch.
"I didn't want to break my word, but I can't stay long," she said, looking down.
I grabbed her hand reassuringly, and she looked at me, surprised. But didn't recoil from my hand.
"I'm not easily offended; it takes a lot for me to strongly dislike someone. I understand you have other responsibilities," I said, unable to look away from her eyes.
"Thank you, but I'll ask a few questions... To make this meeting worthwhile," she smiled, squeezing my hand back. And it took a lot of me not to pull her closer.
"Ask away," I said, looking ahead at the waves. She didn't let go of my hand as she began to talk.
"Why do you hate your brother?"
Starting rough.
"Long story short, he and my ex-fiancé were caught 'getting close' a few years back. Hurt me." I muttered, feeling exposed. She rubbed my hand, which gave me a well-needed distraction.
"What made you... You. I mean, kind, intelligent, open... especially after..." She trailed off.
"Being honest with yourself brings more healing than most realize. I live my life being honest to myself... Well, I try to be when I can," I frowned.
"Besides your fiancé, have you ever fallen in love with someone?"
I thought for a moment before answering, "No."
You? I wanted to say back, but refrained. She didn't have a fiancé, or did she have one at some point? I'd have to ask next time.
She let go of my hand, and I knew she had to leave. She stood to her feet, "Now I don't want to leave," she joked. But her voice was low, as if in thought.
I looked up at her, but she avoided my gaze, looking back at the hotel. I assessed her, trying to figure out what rattled her.
She looked at me for a brief moment, her eyes telling me she was retreating...running away from something. She redirected her eyes, "I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Donovan."
"My Father comes tonight, you'll see a lot of me... And my brother," I scrawled.
She frowned, still avoiding my gaze. And I wonder what I did to make her retreat.
"Then I guess I'll see you around," she said turning.
"Wait," I called reactivity. Not like this space between us.
She turned, meeting my gaze. Her eyes now firm, withholding.
"Sorry I've made you upset," I called.
She frowned, "I'm not upset, what gave--" she started but was interrupted. She took out her phone from the pocket of her dress. She looked back, "I have to go, a friend is waiting for me."
"Okay, see you later," I said turning back to the sea.
"Bye," I heard her call, her feet rushing back to the hotel.
I sighed, " Besides Sandra, have I loved someone else? What was she asking? I gave her the truth."
Wasn't it the truth?