A Portal opens up in the sky as Jake spray-paints a train. An artifact falls out of it and onto Jake's head.
Jake: Hey! Wha-Oh. My.Dude. (He picks it up) JACKPOT!
Guy then walks nearby, holding a GPS.
Guy: Aah. There you are! Thanks for holding it, kid.
Jake: Finders Keepers pal.
Guy, not wanting to altercate with a child, gets down on one knee and plants a hand on his shoulder.
Guy: Buddy. This expensive artifact is really dangerous. It makes portals to other places. We need it back with the adventurers. Got it?
Jake: I stopped listening when you said Expensive.
Guy gives a heavy sigh, before snatching the artifact out of his hands.
Jake: Hey! Give that back!
FIGHT!
Jake attempts 2 punches on Guy, who jerks around them with ease and catches a third. He puts Jake's hands behind his back and lightly kicks him forward, sending him stumbling towards the ground.
Guy: Grow up kid. Now. Gotta run!
Guy waves goodbye and starts to traverse the subway area performing parkour on the stationary trains. When Jake suddenly flies next to him with the Jetpack. He takes the artifact.
Jake: Too bad!
As Guy pulls some fireworks out of his pocket and lights them while running, he climbs into the air and charges ahead. Jake tries to sway around them by doing a few barrel rolls, but the Jetpack runs out of juice, and he yells and flails as he hits the ground—conveniently on super sneakers as he bounces away.
As Guy is about to pick up the artifact he dropped, Jake kicks him at high speeds, jumping away immediately and flashing around the area as though he has super speed, creating afterimages.
Jake: Yeah, I'm light on my feet.
He kicks him three times in the process, but Guy blocks the 4th attempt with a pickaxe, knocking him back and forcing Jake to backflip as well, before boosting away. He tries to kick him again, but this time, Guy tags his boot with the pickaxe, making a hole in it. And with the boots still attached to the pickaxe, he slams Jake against another train with a grunt.
Guy: Yeah. I'm just gonna...
He jogs off again, and he stumbles across a mirage powerup, creating two see-through clones.
Guy: Slow him down.
Spraycans with angel wings circle Jake's head as the clones charge at him, who is still recuperating next to the sleeping train.
Jake: Ooh, that stings!
The clones arrive, and one attempts to punch him, but he ducks the swing and grabs it by the arm, before slamming it onto the other, causing them both to vanish.
Jake: Gotta catch up.
A bullet train screams past, and Jake lunges, latching onto the side of the train with cocky ease. Within moments, he's already caught up to Guy, who, judging by the look on his face, is not thrilled about the reunion.
Guy: Jesus, kid! Stay down!
Jake: Not until I get what's owed! I don't skip paydays!
Jake leaps from his train car to Guy's, landing with a thud. Before he can fully steady himself, a massive right hook swings toward his head. Jake ducks just in time, the punch grazing past. Guy swings his machete twice afterward, which Jake barely evades both times.
The two dive low as the train barrels into a tunnel, with the overhead roof barely clearing them. The darkness fades, and Guy looks down at his hands, realizing with a "Damn it!" that the artifact is gone, and he stands on the train alone.
Just ahead, Jake is already on the next train, grinning over his shoulder, artifact in hand. He tosses it in one hand confidently.
Jake: You think you can outpace me? Not on my turf!
He grabs a nearby power-up, an his pogo stick springs to life beneath his feet, launching him high above the trains. Mid-air, a portal rips open in front of him, and he disappears into it with a exhilarated whoop.
Guy: Oh, boy…
Without missing a beat, he digs into his pocket, yanks out a compact power-up, and tosses it to the ground. It expands and transforms into a gleaming cannon. He climbs in, braces himself, and fires. The portal nearly shuts, but he slips through just in time.
Jake reappears inside a damp, heavy mine shaft straight out of Temple Run. Rackety, jagged walls, dripping water, and a noticable lack of floor. He takes a beat to get his bearings.
Jake: (looking around) Huh… this is new.
Then he looks down and realizes there's no floor. You know. Like I just mentioned.
Jake: Aw, crap-
He plummets... only to shoot back up seconds later, now cruising smoothly on a neon hoverboard, smirking like he planned it all along.
Jake: Phew. This place is pretty murky.
Guy: Heh. I'll say.
Guy had followed him in a minecart!
Jake: Seriously?
Guy: Wh- Seriously? That's my artifact you're holding.
Jake: Finders keepers pal!
Guy growls but suddenly veers left as the track splits. Jake, gripping the artifact and his board, zips through the mine, ducking low-hanging beams and leaping gaps. Guy mimics his moves from behind.
Guy: Screw it.
He hops out of the cart and darts forward with the boost powerup. But rather than plummet to his doom as the tracks are far to wide, invisible platforms simply formed under his feet.
Jake: Whoa! That's pretty cool gramps!
Guy: Watch the road!
Jake: (Narrowly avoids a rock) Whoa!
Guy finally catches up to him.
Guy: And gotcha!
The attempt at a bear hug fails as Jake teleports to the side, chuckling at his expense.
Jake: Hah! Didn't plan that huh?
He boosts ahead just as Guy's power-up fades and they both exit the mines. Now on the wide, stone pathway we all know and feel varying opinions on, Jake leaves him in the dust. But Guy's ready. He activates another power-up that morphs into a fiery bow. One arrow to Jake's hand sends the artifact flying… straight into another portal. Back to the Subways we go.
Guy: You have an enormous amount of energy for a child!
Jake: And you have too much energy for a grandpa!
They move neck and neck, as Thomas the tank engine (3 times bigger) speeds through the track, heading for the lane the 2 are in. They both go left and right respectfully as Guy puts on his shield as they barge into Thomas, crushing him and giving him a sweet release from life.
The artifact bounces in front of them as they both begin to run so fast that they flash rainbow-coloured energy barriers. The two barge into each other neck and neck so hard, sparks fly, as the artifact switches from the bleak deserted temples, to the luscious swamps of Brave, to the dark, yet wonder-filled forests of Oz, to the uh... a grassy field with an oversized slingshot, a busy science lab showcasing a jetpack, then raid shadow legends, to what seems to be a training ground with a Ninja bouncing on a trampoline.
This universal switch happens all in quick succession, before finally arriving back to the modern, sleek and beautiful subways at speeds now greater than infinity.
Guy then dashes forward in the subway and then charges at Jake with a punch, who, in return, does a roll and leaps into a flying jump punch of his own.
BOOM!
The two clash punches, causing intense shockwaves that destroy the entire city, vaporising nearby buildings and trains, and causing a blast of energy to engulf the two, which rises upwards, parting the clouds. The blast continues until it leaves Earth itself, all culminating in a giant explosion.
Silence.
The sky, now apocalypse-dark, rains upon the large crater that was once a thriving city. Both our heroes are nowhere to be seen. The artifact bounces and bounces, making a thud each time it hits the ground. And then it stops bouncing and lands at someone's feet.
The camera slowly pans upwards, revealing phoenix wings which soon fade away.
Guy.
He looks around at the destruction his petty fight caused. And looks back at the artifact, picking it up before looking at the remnants of Jake's cap.
Guy: It wasn't worth it. Not a bit.
He turns. Rain soaks the scene. The cap slips from his hand and takes to the wind, spinning upward in slow motion.
It floats… floats… and finally covers the screen.
KO!