Ali POV
We made it to the restaurant after a little fuss about me taking my own car. Leonard wanted me to just ride with him and Sheldon, but I managed to talk my way out of that fiasco by making up an impromptu trip to the grocery store after dinner. Sheldon looked puzzled for all of two seconds before he caught onto my deception and offered to go shopping with me, to which I happily agreed.
We arrived at the restaurant just before the dinner rush hit, luckily. Sheldon and I beat Leonard, Howard, and Raj, which gave us time to get seated—making sure we were in Penny's section. This way, she could get the tip from the guys, which would bolster her finances for the month.
Penny walked up to the table and said, "Hey, Sis. I guess you just couldn't stay away. Did you miss me already?"
I just chuckled and said, "Actually, I'm here to save you. Leonard, Howard, and Raj are on their way here for dinner. Luckily, Sheldon here warned me of their plot to woo you, so we came to intercept on your behalf—because I know you're a big softy and won't tell them to leave you alone."
She looked at me and said, "Oh thank God, 'cause I don't feel anything for any of them outside of maybe friendship. I just don't want to make Leonard sad and things get awkward. We are neighbors, after all."
I chuckled at my sweet, slightly naive sister and sent her to get our drinks while we waited.
It took the guys fifteen minutes to show up. Leonard apologized and made some excuse about Howard's mother being the reason, which I found odd because Howard is a grown man still living with his mom. Then again, so is my brother Randall—well, in between rehab visits.
We were finally able to order, and it didn't take long before dinner was brought out. Dinner itself was relatively painless—if you don't count the number of times I was hit on by Leonard and Howard in between their attempts to flirt with Penny. Sheldon was my only saving grace. He kept talking about random facts, trying to shield me from the endless flirting.
I mean, don't they get the hint? I don't like them that way, and their advances are just plain creepy and a little gross. At one point, Howard looked at Penny and me point-blank then said that he would take us both to pound town. It was so disgusting I almost lost my dinner. That is one creepy little troll. I couldn't wait to be done with dinner fast enough and won't be joining in on anything where Howard is involved from this point forward.
Leonard wasn't much better, though. He kept shooting puppy dog eyes at both me and Penny, puffing out his chest like some deranged pygmy pufferfish in an attempt to seem buff or something. At least Leonard didn't creep me out—he just made me uncomfortable because he was so pushy and couldn't (or wouldn't) take a hint.
We finally finished our meal and were about to leave when Leonard said, "You know, I could go with you to the store as well."
I forced a smile. "It's fine. I can handle it, and Sheldon promised to go with me."
Leonard looked disappointed, then smiled like he'd had a brilliant idea. "Alright, I'll just see you at the apartment then."
I was uneasy with how easily he let it go, but what could I do about it?
Grocery shopping with Sheldon was an experience. He went around checking all the expiration dates and asking the employees if the stock on the shelves was the most current. He also sniffed, poked, and knocked on all the produce I wanted to buy. I was just glad it was late and the store was mostly empty.
I thought to myself: I will never take Sheldon grocery shopping again.
We finally made it back to the apartment building. Despite his quirks, Sheldon was still sweet and offered to help me carry the groceries. But when we got to our floor, I was shocked by what I saw.
Leonard—at least, I assume it was him—had littered the floor with rose petals leading up to my door. There was even a note taped to it. The only silver lining was that Leonard wasn't in sight.
I rushed Sheldon to my door and fumbled with the keys, nearly slamming the door shut behind us.
Sheldon took the bags to the kitchen while I called Penny. "Hello, Pen? I have some news."
"What's up, Ali?"
"When you get back, run for the door and get inside as fast as you can."
"Why? What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything—it's Leonard, or at least I think it's him. Sheldon and I came home to find a flower petal walkway leading to our door and a note taped to it."
She laughed. "So what does the note say, then?"
"I don't know. I didn't grab it in my haste to avoid whatever scenario the hobbit has dreamed up."
She sighed. "Alright, I'll be home in five. Then we can see what it says."
I finally relaxed knowing she was on her way. Sheldon kept me distracted by helping me draw up an organization chart for the kitchen.
Five minutes later, I heard keys at the door—but then music started playing in the hallway. Curiosity and self-preservation got the better of me, so I peeked through the peephole.
Leonard had come out of his apartment in a suit with a bouquet of flowers. He approached my tired, grease-splattered sister and said something I couldn't make out. I opened the door to put her out of her misery.
"Hey, what's with the music?"
Pen gave me a look—her classic "I'm trying hard not to be mean 'cause I'm tired" expression—and said, "Hey, Ali. Um... Leonard was just asking me something."
I nodded, arms crossed, waiting.
She turned back to Leonard. "Look, I'm flattered, but I just got out of a relationship with Kurt. I'm not really looking to date anyone right now. Plus, you're my neighbor—I don't want things to get awkward."
She turned to come inside, but Leonard said, "If you're not ready to date, then what was this morning about—with that guy sucking your face off in the hall?"
Penny froze. Her eyes flashed with anger, but she took a breath. "What I do—and who I do it with—is none of your business."
And then Leonard said something so stupid it was almost impressive: "Well, I don't mind if we just have sex until you're ready for more."
I stood there, jaw open, as Penny's face darkened. She pulled back and punched the hobbit square in the face. Then she ripped the note from the door and stormed inside, slamming it shut behind her.