Sheldon POV
We just made it to the Cheesecake Factory when my phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, I saw Leonard's name pop up and sighed. I was having such a good day so far. I answered the phone with a sharp, "Hello."
Leonard laughed nervously and said, "Hey buddy, wanna catch me up? How's shopping with Ali?"
I knew what he was trying to do. Contrary to what he and the guys think, I am not clueless when it comes to interactions between men and women. I even know how to interact with other people, for that matter. I usually just don't care enough to make an effort to 'be nice,' as my mom would say. Noticing Ali's concerned look, I sighed and responded, "There is not much to catch up on. We just finished with the Container Store and have stopped for lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. Shopping so far has been productive, and we will complete our shopping after we finish with lunch."
Ali motioned for us to get out of the car so she could lock it, and we headed inside. Leonard's voice sounded a pitch higher when he said, "Lunch sounds nice. Does Ali mind if we join you guys?"
Raising an eyebrow, I asked, "We?"
Leonard laughed like I was asking the obvious. "Yeah, Sheldon, we—as in Howard, Raj, and I."
I sighed and turned to Ali. "Do you mind if Leonard, Howard, and Raj join us for lunch?"
Ali looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "I don't really mind, but I'm not waiting for them to order. We still have a lot to do today, and I would like to waste as little time as possible."
I completely agreed with her, so I relayed the message to Leonard. He chuckled nervously and said, "Got it, don't keep her waiting. We are heading over and will be there in five minutes. Save us a seat." Without so much as a goodbye, he hung up.
Ali and I headed inside. I spotted Penny in the back off to the side. She saw us and smiled, then walked over to the hostess and pointed at Ali. "I got this. She's my sister, and he's my new neighbor."
Ali laughed, hugged Penny, and said, "We need a big table. Apparently, all of the guys are joining us for lunch. Uninvited, I might add." She muttered the last part under her breath—almost too low to hear, unless you're me.
We followed Penny to a table in the center of the room that could seat six comfortably. Ali sat on the end and looked apprehensive before asking, "Sheldon, would you please sit next to me? I really don't like the idea of Howard or Leonard drooling on me while I eat and would like a little distance from them if possible."
I understood her need for space from the two hobbit-like trolls. Leonard is my roommate and friend, but I don't understand his incessant need for validation through the opinions of the opposite sex. And Howard is... well, Howard. He doesn't even have a doctorate. With all that in mind, I nodded to Ali and sat to her right to keep the others out of her space.
Ali POV
"The menu is so large here," I said mostly to myself.
Sheldon responded, "It does look to be quite the selection."
Laughing, I nodded. "Why don't we stick to the basics, then? How about we get burgers and call it a day?"
Sheldon thought for a few seconds while looking over the menu, then said, "That sounds like a good plan. It is hard to mess up a burger. Which one will you get?"
I looked back at the menu. "They have a BBQ bacon cheeseburger that looks good, so I think I'll get that. What about you?"
Sheldon looked over the options, then said, "I think your choice is the most optimal, so I suppose I will have the same as you."
I smiled at him. It was a small thing—us eating the same food—but it made me happy to find one more thing in common with Sheldon. He seemed like a decent guy. Just then, Penny walked over with my iced tea and Sheldon's lemonade. Setting down our drinks, she smiled and asked, "So what'll it be?"
Sheldon looked up and said, "We'll have two BBQ bacon burgers with the toppings and sauce on the side. The burger must be well done, with fries. Oh, and Penny, make sure the chefs use gloves while they handle our food. I don't like people touching my food with their bare hands."
Penny clenched her jaw, then looked at me. "You put him up to this, didn't you? Why can't you ever just be normal at a restaurant?"
I looked at her pointedly, and she huffed, throwing her hands up. "Fine, have it your way. One complicated burger order coming up, you big baby."
I laughed awkwardly and turned to Sheldon, embarrassed. "I'm sorry she blew up at you. She thinks I'm picky with food from restaurants, which can be true, I guess. But I like what I like, and I'm not ashamed. I'm a little surprised you're the same as me when it comes to eating out."
Sheldon pulled himself together after Penny's outburst and said, "I would like to cook at home more, but with Leonard, Howard, and Raj's dietary restrictions, it was becoming more and more difficult. So I opted for the 'easy' route. I'm ashamed by it, but what can you do? I took to making sure the cleanliness standards were met wherever we eat and set up a rotation for our daily meals to avoid any issues."
That made sense. Who wants to be a short-order cook for your 'friends'? Not me, that's for sure. I looked at him and said, "I get it. I'd probably do the same in your shoes. Would you like to cook with me once in a while? It might be fun—that is, if you want to."
I was blushing at this point. I couldn't believe I just said that. I took a quick peek at Sheldon to see him smiling—a full-blown smile—and I relaxed.
He nodded. "That sounds like a wonderful idea. I would enjoy a home-cooked meal every so often. I used to cook with my Meemaw when I was younger. I can ask her to send us some of her recipes. Oh... this should be great fun."
The way Sheldon lit up when he talked about his Meemaw was so sweet.
The guys showed up at the end of our talk about cooking and sat down at our table. Leonard sat across from me with Howard and Raj next to him. Thank God none of them tried to make Sheldon move so they could sit next to me. Penny saw them sit down and asked for their orders. They quickly decided—Leonard got a burger with no cheese, while Raj and Howard both got salads.
With their orders out of the way, their attention was on me again, and I was becoming uncomfortable with their weird ideas of flirting. Of the three, the only one I could stomach was Raj, and I have a feeling that's mostly because he can't talk.
Leonard's eyes followed Penny as she left, wearing a dopey, glossed-over look. When she rounded the corner, he turned that look on me and said, "So Ali, how has your day with Dr. Crazy?"
Taken aback by his attack on Sheldon, I was at a loss for words. That's when Sheldon said, "I'm not crazy, Leonard. My mother had me tested, and you know that. If you paid attention more, you might remember me telling you this."
Raj and Howard snickered, but then Howard said, "So, mademoiselle, would you like to come over to mine later and see me do some magic tricks? I can make my pants disappear."
The tremor of revulsion that shot through me at his words—and the wink that followed—had me almost running from the table. If I hadn't seen the same look on Sheldon's face that I'm sure was on mine, I might have done just that.
I reached over and took Sheldon's hand on impulse and almost let go when he flinched. He was clearly uncomfortable with the contact but eased when he saw the look in my eyes asking for help. I could tell he could see I was also clearly upset with the presence of our new lunch guests. He gripped my hand back and straightened up, saying, "You know that is never going to happen, Howard. You aren't good enough for her. After all, you only have a master's degree."
Howard looked embarrassed and mad but said nothing. At least he took the hint. Leonard was another matter altogether. He kept trying to push me uncomfortably and only stopped when Penny showed up with our food. When she was around, he looked at her with the same dopey grin and tried to flirt—poorly, I might add—and when she left, he turned that attention back to me. He screamed desperation, and I don't deal well with desperate men.
We finished our meal in companionable silence, with Sheldon giving small facts about one thing or another that I truly enjoyed, while the others just rolled their eyes. Sheldon offered to pay for my lunch, and after a small back-and-forth, I let him. He left Penny a decent tip. He said it was due to her cautious care of our food, but I had a feeling he did it out of kindness. He was upset when he heard why she had moved in with me but wouldn't tell me why it bothered him so much. Maybe he'll tell me someday. Until then, I'll just appreciate his kindness.
Leonard tried to join us at IKEA but was shot down by Sheldon and went home with his tail tucked between his legs, like a kicked puppy. Some might find that sad—like Penny, for example—but I myself found it very funny to see him turn tail and run at the words of another man. At his departure, I turned to Sheldon and said, "Shall we get going?"
Sheldon smiled at me and said, "Yes, let's go. We still have a lot of things from your list to purchase."