Zhang Ni only now starts to recall the way he spoke to his father back then. It was practically like addressing an enemy, as though he wanted to devour his father whole. But thinking about it now, was his attitude really right at the time? No matter what, he is still his father, yet the words he spoke were piercing and hurt him deeply.
Perhaps when he made his decisions, he never truly thought them through, but instead acted out of impulsiveness, thrusting all the pain and harm onto his own agony.
If only he could live happily and joyfully—how wonderful would that be? If only he hadn't, time and again, placed all the burdens and pain upon himself—how blissful the past few days could have been. Everything he ever wanted was so simple, yet each time, all he brought to himself was harm.
