To say I wasn't scared would be a lie. I am scared, seeing my nightmare come to life — but having River doubt me scared me too. I was probably too tired, because my shadows couldn't get me back. Something felt wrong, but I couldn't pinpoint it.
"I could give you a ride," River states, rubbing his neck and looking at me. And because I needed to go, I followed him to his car, where he stood with the door open for me.
"Old habits," he mumbles, when I look at him for opening the door for me.
"About the other day — I am sorry about calling you a... you know what?" he explains.
"Calling me a witch, you could be killed if I was another caster."
"Well then, thank you for not killing me," he says, taking his eyes off the road to look at me.
"Well, there is always time for that. But not now, isn't that—"
"What now, though?" he asked, just as his car comes to a stop by the gate of the house.
"I want to know the exact point your uncle camped at, and where they were found. It will help me find him" — and whatever these monsters are, I need to find them, I think to myself.
"I know all the spots. I have the rescue map. When do we meet?"
"I will find you," I state, getting out of the car. I wait for him to go before using the shadow to enter my room, but something wasn't right. I felt like throwing up, from the feeling of vertigo that came over me. I hold whatever I can for support as I heave, and wait for the feeling to go away. Once I am calm, I look up, and there she is, my grandmother, on the top stairs, looking down at me.
"I knew it," she said, in a slow voice. Aunt Ari was staring at me, looking torn over whether she should run to me or not.
"All this time I felt something was wrong. Your powers stabilized, which would be good, if not for the shadows. I felt them at first — I thought I was being paranoid, because it was impossible for them to get in. But I didn't want to believe that you could use shadows in a caster's home, or that you can cast," she says, taking a step down.
"Now tell me, Gwendolyn — when did it start?" she asked.
"I— I don't know."
"Don't lie to me."
"I don't remember. It just happened."
"And when it did, did it ever occur to you to inform me?"
"No — because I heard you that night, with Aunt Ari. But what I don't understand is, if I am such a disappointment, why keep me? Why didn't you give me away, or kill me?" I couldn't help how shaken my voice sounded as I said that.
She looks at me. I'm not sure the emotion that passes across her face, but she just looks at me. "Give you to who? The shadow vermin? Or you think someone else could have handled your outburst better?" she asked, her voice hard.
"No one would take you. Not even death, Gwendolyn," she says, in a tone I couldn't read.
"What does that mean?"
Grandmother doesn't answer for a while. She looks at me — I don't think it's me she sees, as she looks at me.
"Well, since you enjoy eavesdropping — your mother committed a sacrilege in our world, and that birthed you. Before that, there had been a prophecy, so old that it became a sort of bedtime story, that someone who was born of both worlds would come with power to either destroy us all, or fill the rift."
"And you couldn't believe that I could fill the rift, or that there was something good about me?" I asked. I am not sure why that's the first thing I thought to ask, but she laughed — a sad, bitter laugh — as she walked down the stairs completely and sat in the living room. I stood watching her.
"Do you know the bloody wars fought by us to keep them away? And the prophecy sounded like a sick joke. So imagine my shock when my daughter ran away because of love, and died. I didn't know about her even being pregnant, and I wouldn't even have been able to, because prophecies are like promises — they are always fulfilled once conceived. You couldn't be harmed till you did what you came to do."
"I didn't ask for this."
"We are never asked, Gwendolyn. Your mother wasn't asked — she just ran headlong into the choice that gave the prophecy life. And I was definitely not asked if I wanted the shame she brought, or if I wanted my child dead. So no, Gwendolyn. Nobody gets asked."
"Now — where were you?"
"Just in town," I stammered, because I didn't expect the change in topic.
"Just in town, you say. Do you think this is a game? They are here because of you, and you go out, giving them access."
"I am just looking for answers you wouldn't give me!" I yell.
Aunt Ari makes to come calm me down, but a look from grandmother has her halting in her tracks.
"Who did you bond with?"
"What?"
"The mark you wear — half of it. Who has the other half? Do you even know—" she began, but stops abruptly. "Where is your necklace?"
"I lost it," the lie spills out of me.
"What is his name?"
"Whose name?"
"The boy you gave it to."
"I said I lost it."
"I do everything to keep you all safe, and both of you want to throw it all in my face in the name of love."
"I am not in love with him!" I yell, and I almost kick myself when I realize what I just admitted to.
"So there is a him," she says, in a condescending tone. "Listen well, Gwen, because I will not be repeating myself — if you so much as see that boy again, I will make sure he suffers for your disobedience," she curses.
"What are you so afraid of?" I yell, as she starts walking toward the stairs.
She stops, looks at me, and says, "Nothing scares me," before walking off.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I scream in frustration, and I feel the house shake. But I don't care, as I stomp up the stairs, a thunder cloud hovering over me. And once I am in my room, it starts to pour, and the vines on the wall are the only thing there — the shadows are not here. Whatever grandma did is working well, and that adds to my frustration, as I just lay on the floor, letting the rain drench me and everything. I wasn't sure how long I laid there. I wouldn't have stood up, too, if not for his voice. I heard his voice in my head.
"River," I call out.
"I must be going crazy," I hear him say.
"River, it's me."
"Oh crap — you're in my head? How?"
"I don't know."
"Oh crap. So everything I heard happened."
"Yes."
"So I am cursed now."
"I am sorry."
"That's okay, I suppose. I am the one who got you into trouble."
"I will make sure nothing happens to you."
"I know, I trust you," he says, and I don't know why, but that meant so much to me.