"Human, don't think playing dumb will work…"
The beast girl ghost twisted her lips into a grim smile—but suddenly, her mouth betrayed her. Under some strange compulsion, she started mumbling to herself:
"…Zhang San is here…"
What the heck? Why was her mouth moving on its own? And who the hell was Zhang San?
The beast girl quickly covered her mouth, taking a cautious half-step back. "Human, what did you do to me?"
"We're actually undercover cops," Amamiya Natsuki stepped forward confidently. "For three long years, we've hunted you down, lawless criminal Zhang San."
"So I'm not Zhang… Zhang San is here!"
When Natsuki advanced without fear—even reaching out to touch her—the beast girl bared her jagged teeth in fury.
"Stupid human, don't be so arrogant."
Pop.
Natsuki grabbed her wrist.
The ghost, ready to make Amamiya taste the "wrath of the minotaur," suddenly found her body stiffening—unable to move except for her eyes and mouth.
"Human, what have you done to my body?" Panic leaked into her voice.
Natsuki locked her hand behind her back. "From now on, your body belongs to me."
"Wait, what are you planning?" Her voice quivered. "I'm a vengeful spirit—how dare you?!"
Natsuki's eyes flickered with faint amusement. "You don't understand human interest."
So what if she was a vengeful spirit? If she was cute enough, ghosts were no problem!
"He's definitely a big boss."
Asuka Kujo's eyes widened in awe.
Shivering in the corner, she thought: The real boss had started bullying even vengeful spirits. Clinging to the right thighs was definitely the smart move.
Fujiwara Chika stomped forward, cheeks puffed like a pufferfish, and demanded angrily:
"Why did you just call me fat?"
Girls care about weight the way boys obsess over length—and Fujiwara was no exception.
The beast girl's eyes slid over Fujiwara's chest. Her body surrendered completely, but her mouth still managed a sweet jab, "Human, isn't that useless fat on your chest?"
Natsuki glanced at Fujiwara and subconsciously nodded.
He had seen it with his own eyes. There was definitely a lot of useless fat.
Seeing his nod, Fujiwara's bangs shadowed her eyes. Her voice softened to a gentle murmur as she smiled sweetly and tilted her head, "Natsuki-san, did you just agree with that?"
"Yes, I nodded," Natsuki admitted openly, unfazed.
The beast girl's EQ was too low. That wasn't fat—it was plump. In a moment like this, a high EQ answer was needed.
"What I meant is Fujiwara-san has a great figure. When standing next to other girls, you shine like a firefly in the dark. All four mirror Kaguya-san's combined don't compare."
Stare—
A freezing gaze landed on his back.
Shinomiya Kaguya folded her hands calmly in front of her chest, her pretty face expressionless. Her voice echoed like a chill night wind:
"To judge a girl by her figure, Amamiya-san, is truly the mark of a superficial man."
"Congratulations, you've discovered a universal truth."
There's no man in this world who isn't superficial.
Attention shifted back to the vengeful spirit.
"This… Miss Cow?" Natsuki gave her a fitting name. "I heard you can conjure food out of thin air?"
"Despicable human, release me!" The ghost's body seemed honest, but her mouth was full of protests. "I want to fight you for three hundred rounds!"
"I accept."
Natsuki released her hand immediately.
"Eh?" The ghost blinked. "You actually agreed?"
Just as she was about to attack with fists, pop—Natsuki grabbed her wrist again, triggering a 100% surrender effect.
"You're caught again. Please cooperate honestly. Resist, and you'll face severe punishment for the rest of your life."
"Despicable human! You must've done something to me!" The ghost tried to struggle, but except for eyes and mouth, her body was immobilized again. "Don't even think about getting food from me!"
"So you really can conjure food?"
Natsuki's gaze fixed on Miss Cow, and soon prompts popped up in front of him.
[After careful observation, you have successfully discovered Miss Cow's secret and decided to play with her tail.]
How could it be a tail?
Natsuki sighed.
He reached out and grabbed the spirit's tail. It was icy cold, utterly lifeless—more like a prop than anything else. But it was tough and had texture when pinched.
"Wait, wait…" The ghost's voice trembled. "Don't touch me there!"
Natsuki ignored her.
Suddenly, Rikka Takanashi shouted, "Cup! Look at the cup!"
Everyone turned to see white milk suddenly appearing out of thin air in the glass on the table.
"This is unscientific," Shinomiya Kaguya muttered, eyes twitching. "It just doesn't make sense."
Natsuki stopped what he was doing. "There are too many unscientific things here. Right now, we should test whether this milk is drinkable."
No testing gear was available, so human trials were the only way.
"Kujo-san…"
Kaguya's eyes turned to the girl with pigtails calmly.
Raised in the elite Shinomiya family, Kaguya had no qualms about using people, but she wasn't about to drink mysterious milk herself. Natsuki and Fujiwara were too valuable to risk.
Before she could finish, Fujiwara stepped forward firmly.
"I'll drink it."
Without giving Kaguya a chance to object, the idiot drank the milk, put down the cup, and sighed in satisfaction.
"...Another cup."
Everyone held their breath for a few minutes. Fujiwara was still alive and energetic—they slowly relaxed.
"The milk tastes very sweet, no weird fishy smell. It's like Meiji milk," Fujiwara gave a thumbs-up. "My stomach feels fine, very good."
"You humans, don't go too far!" The ghost warned nervously.
Natsuki held her tail again. "Miss Cow, if it hurts, say so—I'll be gentler."
"Don't touch my tail!"
"That's the only thing I won't do."
"No more…" The beast girl's eyes moistened without her noticing. Her voice trembled, "I haven't eaten in so long… there's really not a drop left…"